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It was lunch break.
I was eating lunch in my usual spot. My home base was on the first floor of the special building, to the side of the nurse's office and diagonally behind the cafeteria. To give you a better idea, it was a position from which I could see right out into the tennis courts.
I leisurely ate the hot dog, tuna onigiri, and Neapolitan roll I had bought from the cafeteria. And I was at peace. I listened to Euler talk about the e. The number which spins. That's what made e special. Euler's number. Hopefully there would be numbers named after me one day. Multiple numbers. And the way it spun was that it spun equal to the rate of its own value. The first derivative of e^{i \theta} was i*e^{i \theta}. So just a rotation by the imaginary unit. That was Euler's identity and it was the cornerstone of complex analysis.
e^{i \theta}
So simple. If only I could come up with a simple expression for what I was quickly calling hyperreal analysis in my head. I was still inventing it and had a long way to go but that was its name. And it should help me solve two of the big seven. I could hear the echoes of Euler and Riemann in my ears. They were rooting for me. Encouraging me to invent and discover. They were cheering for me to push the envelope and watch it bend.
All the while, a rhythmic drumming sound lured me to sleep.
The tennis girls had their independent practice session at noon, so they were outside at the wall; they hit the ball and made heroic efforts to chase it when it returned, and then they hit it again.
I followed their movements with my eyes as I ate my lunch. As the lunch break was about to end, I sucked some lemon tea out of its pack through a straw and felt the wind blow.
The wind's direction had changed.
It varied with the day-to-day weather, but because this school was near the sea, the wind would usually change direction sometime around noon. It was almost as if the morning's sea breeze was returning from whence it came.
Spending some time alone, just feeling that wind on my skin, wasn't a bad thing at all.
"Huh? Hikki, is that you?" That same wind carried a familiar voice to my ears. When I turned around, I saw Yuigahama standing there, holding down her skirt to protect it from any more gusts of wind. "Whatcha doin' over here?"
"I usually eat here."
"Hmm, really? Why? Wouldn't it be better to just eat in the classroom?"
"I…" I started and trailed off. "I can't think in the classroom. I can't hear the voices."
"Voices?"
"Of the old masters of mathematics. If I listen hard enough I can hear them lecturing me. Not really… It's something I have to be alone for. Or I need close to silence. Can't get that in the classroom."
"I see…" she murmured. She didn't but that wasn't her fault.
"More importantly, why are you here?"
"Oh yeah! Truth is, I lost a game of rock paper scissors with Yukinon, so… I guess this is my penalty?"
"Talking to me is a penalty…?" I laughed. That was so sad… Made me want to die.
"N-no, no! The loser had to go buy juice! That's it! You always do that!"
Yuigahama hurriedly waved her hands, denying my accusation. What a relief; after that, I was totally ready to kill myself…
Yuigahama smoothed down her chest in relief, then she plopped herself down next to me.
"Yukinon didn't like it at first. 'I can provide my own food. What do I stand to gain, aside from winning a trivial competition?' That's what she said." For some reason, Yuigahama was trying to imitate Yukinoshita. She completely failed.
"Well, that does sound like her."
"Yeah, but then I said, 'So you don't think you can win?' Then she agreed to play."
"Now that sounds like her."
"And then, when Yukinon won, she pumped her fists a bit… It was really cute, you know…" Yuigahama let out a happy sigh.
"I think this is the first time I've thought this penalty game was fun."
"I'm glad I can be a source of entertainment to you… You've done this game before?"
When I asked that question, Yuigahama gave me a nod.
"Yeah, a few times before…"
Hearing that allowed me to suddenly remember. Near the end of lunch breaks, there was always an idiotically noisy corner of the room shouting about rock paper scissors…
"Tch, a nice little exclusive club you all have there."
"What's up with that lousy reaction? You don't like things like that?"
"Of course not. I hate private parties and inside jokes… Ah, but I do like internal strife. Cuz I'm not on the inside," I murmured. I was going to fight me. And I was going to like it.
"Not only is that a sad reason, but you sound completely petty!"
Shut up. Leave me alone…
Yuigahama smiled as she held her hair, keeping the wind from blowing it. That expression was different from the one I usually saw when she was with Miura and the others in the classroom…
Ahh, I see. If I had to guess, I'd say she wasn't wearing as much makeup. Her face had become much more natural. She'd probably made that change a while back, but, I mean, it's not like I make a habit of staring at girls' faces… Ugh, whatever.
But that was proof that she had changed, even if only a little.
It might've been because she had less makeup on, but… When Yuigahama smiled, her eyes relaxed and her youthful face became even more youthful.
"But really, I think Hikki has a lot of these 'private parties' too. When we're in the classroom, you always have those fun-looking chats with Yukinon. I-I always feel I can't join in on any of those…"
"You think I have fun with those?" I wondered.
"Don't you?"
"In the club room? I want to be left alone to my figures."
As Yuigahama said that, she hugged her knees and buried her face in them. She was glancing sideways towards me. "You know, cuz maybe I want to join in on those talks too… I-it's not like I mean that in a weird way, okay?! W-when I say that I mean Yukinon too, okay?! You got that?!"
"Have no fear… It's not like I'll ever make that sort of misunderstanding when it comes to you."
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
Yuigahama lifted up her head, looking pretty pissed. "Ah, hold on, hold on, calm down!" I restrained her with my hands and spoke up.
"Well, Yukinoshita is a different story. She is just a force majeure."
"What do you mean?"
"Hm? Ahh, 'force majeure' refers to an entity or situation that is impossible to defy by our human strength alone. Sorry for using big words there."
"No! I know what that means, ugh! You know, you insult me way too much! I took the entrance exam and got into Soubu High just like you, all right?!"
Yuigahama sent a quick chop right into my throat. The clean hit, right to my Adam's Apple, sent me into a coughing fit. Then Yuigahama stared off into the distance and asked me a question, sounding serious. "…Hey, speaking of the entrance exam… Do you remember the first day of school?"
"Cough cough cough!… Huh? Ahh, I mean, not really-I got into a traffic accident that day."
"Accident…"
"I got hit by a car and they had the audacity to not even kill me. Motherfucker."
"You always do that!" She huffed for a moment. "Is that what happened?"
"Somebody's dog ran away and I got hit trying to save it," I elaborated.
"So, Hikki doesn't remember that person at all?"
"I mean, I really couldn't have, since I was in so much pain. Well, clearly I wasn't impressed enough to remember, so I'm guessing that person was pretty plainlooking."
She hit me. "Plain-looking… W-well, I guess I didn't have makeup on that time… and my hair wasn't dyed, and I was wearing some random pajamas or something… Ah, and the pajamas had little bears on them too." She mumbled. I couldn't make out the words. I just read her lips but I wasn't very good at lip reading.
"Ow," I intoned neutrally.
She hit me again.
"Ow?" I gave her a little more emotion. "What's wrong?"
"It's… nothing… Anyways! Hikki doesn't remember that girl at all, does he?!"
"Yeah, like I said, I don't remember… Wait, huh? Did I mention that they were a girl?"
"Huh?! Y-yeah, you definitely did! You totally did! In fact, all you said was, 'girl this, girl that, girl this, girl that'!"
"Am I seriously that gross of a person…?" When I said that, Yuigahama just gave me a loud, hollow-sounding laugh and, with a smile still on her face, turned to look at the tennis courts. In response, I turned and did the same.
I guess it was just about time for the girl tennis players to wrap up their practice; they were wiping off their sweat and coming back.
"Hey! Sai-chaan~~!" Yuigahama waved her hands and called out. It seemed she'd spotted someone she knew.
That girl noticed Yuigahama and ran up to us with little steps.
"Hey. Had practice?"
"Yeah. Our team is really weak right now, so we have to practice through lunch… We've been asking them over and over for permission to use the courts during lunch, and they finally gave us the okay. What are Yuigahama and Hikigaya doing here?"
"Ahh, not much…"
Yuigahama said that and turned to me, as if to ask for confirmation. Well, I was actually eating lunch, and you were on your way to finish an errand, right? She had the attention span of a bird or something… Don't look at me. I have no idea.
"I see." That girl, Sai-chan or whatever, gave us a smile.
"Sai, you play tennis for class and even practice through lunch… That must be really tough."
"Yeah, but it's what I want to do, so it's fine… Ah, also, Hikigaya, you're pretty good at tennis."
To my surprise, she turned the conversation to me, so of course I fell silent. It was the first time that I'd heard that. Also, who the hell was this person? Why did she know my name?
"Ohh…?" I wanted to ask her a few things, but before I could, Yuigahama butted in, sounding impressed.
"Really?"
"Yeah, his form is really good when he plays."
"Ahh, you're embarrassing me, ha ha ha…" I leaned over and whispered to Yuigahama. "So, who is this person?"
"Hwahhh?! You're in the same class! You even take gym class together! Why don't you know?! I can't believe you!"
"You idiot, of course I know! I just happened to forget! …And boys and girls don't take gym class together!"
I was trying to be so considerate, and she completely ruined my efforts… Now everyone in the world would know that I didn't know this girl's name. And now she's probably in a bad mood…
As I thought that, I glanced in Sai-chan's direction and saw that her eyes were tearing up… Crap, this was bad. In dog terms, she looked like a Chihuahua, and in cat terms, she looked like a munchkin… That was how cute and sad-looking she was.
"A-Ahaha. So I guess you really don't remember my name… I'm Totsuka Saika. We're in the same class."
"A-ah, sorry about that. I'm… awful. With people. Like the worst. I'm so sorry. Haha. We changed classes recently, so it's a bit difficult for me… "
"We were in the same class during the first year too… Ehehe, maybe I just don't have much of a presence…"
"Nah, that's not it… Oh, I got it! It's just that I don't hang out with the girls in our class very much! You know, I still don't know the real name of this girl here!"
"Cut it out and remember!"
Yuigahama smacked me on the head, but even that caused Totsuka to mutter with a grim look on her face.
"You sure are good friends with Yuigahama-san…"
"E-ehh?! W-we're definitely not! If anything, all I want to do is kill this guy! Kill Hikki and then I'll die too… That sort of thing!"
Not if I kill myself first. Bitch. I laughed darkly.
"Yeah, that's it! …Also, that's damn scary! You're damn scary! Lover's suicide?! I don't want that at all!"
"Huh?! A-are you a complete idiot?! I didn't mean it like that at all!"
"You two really are pretty close…" Totsuka said that in a sad tone, and this time faced me. "I'm male, by the way… do I really look that frail to you?"
"Wha-?"
My thoughts and movements completely halted at that moment. I quickly looked to Yuigahama. That's a lie, right? I asked with my eyes. But Yuigahama, seemingly still angry, her cheeks still flushed red, just gave me a few strong nods.
Wait… Seriously? That can't be right. That has to be a joke.
Totsuka saw my doubtful gaze and turned bright red. Her head lowered, and she stared at me with upturned eyes.
Totsuka's hand slowly reached down towards her (his?) shorts. That small movement was already enough to captivate me.
"…I can show you proof, if you want."
"No… no… no… I believe you? You don't… have to… anything like that." Seriously I was being fuckin' punked. "In any case… I'm sorry. I really didn't know, but I apologize if I caused you any discomfort."
When Totsuka heard me say that, he shook off the tears that had been building up in his eyes and gave me a smile. "Nah, it's fine."
"But, Totsuka… I'm surprised you know my name."
"Eh, ahh… Well, Hikigaya-kun stands out a lot in class."
After Totsuka said that, Yuigahama stared at me. "Reeaaally? But he's so plain-looking… It'd take quite a lot to notice a guy like him."
"Ouch," I said with meaning. Oh well.
"…W-well, when someone sits in the corner of the classroom and talks to himself, doesn't that make him stand out a bit…?"
"Ah, that's what stands-… Ahh, umm… My condolences…"
"Hey…" I trailed.
The atmosphere was getting heavier again, so Totsuka decided to try and save it. "But seriously, Hikigaya-kun is pretty good at tennis. Have you played before?"
"I mean, I played a bit of Mario Tennis during elementary school, but I haven't played real tennis."
"Oh, that's the one everyone plays together. I played that too, you know. Playing doubles was reaaally fun, wasn't it~~?" Yuigahama purred.
"…I've only played it by myself." I laughed.
"Eh? …Ah. Umm, sorry." Yuigahama apologized. .
"What the hell, are you a psychological minesweeper or something? Is it your job to dig up every little bit of trauma I have?"
"Hikki's the one who has way too many bombs!" I laughed at her words.
Totsuka, standing to the side, seemed to be having fun watching the exchange between me and Yuigahama.
And like that, the bell that announced the end of lunch break rang.
"Let's head back." Totsuka said that, and Yuigahama followed after him.
I watched them from behind and suddenly felt a bit strange.
I see… They were in the same class, so it was natural for them to leave together… For some reason I felt moved by that.
"Hikki? What are you doing?" Yuigahama turned back towards me, seeming puzzled. Totsuka also stopped walking and faced me.
I could go together with them? I was about to ask, but I stopped.
Instead, I said the following: "What happened to that juice you were supposed to buy?"
"Huh? … Ahhh!"
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-WG