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A few days later, I was in gym class again. Because of my repeated practice sessions with the wall, I had become a master of tennis wall hitting. At this point, I could hold up a rally with the wall without having to move a step in any direction.

After tomorrow's class, we would be starting tennis matches for a bit. In other words, today was the last time I would be able to just practice rallying.

It was my last rally practice, so I thought I would use it to its fullest, but then I felt something poking me on the right shoulder.

And who might this fairy behind my back be? There wasn't anyone who would talk to me, so this had to be some kind of supernatural phenomenon, right?

I turned around, when I felt a finger poke into my right cheek.

"Ahah, caught you~." It was Totsuka Saika, giving me a cute smile.

Oof, what was this I was feeling…? My heart was seriously pounding. If he wasn't a guy, I would have asked him out and then gotten rejected on the spot. Wow, so I guess I would get rejected here? Am I gay? No… Am I though? No… am I Bi? Hard maybe. It was a hard, hard maybe.

I mean, once you saw Totsuka in his uniform it was plain as day that he was a guy, but when he wore his gym uniform, which was the same for guys and girls, his gender really wasn't obvious. If his socks were black and went higher than his ankles, you definitely wouldn't be able to tell.

His arms, legs, and waist were all slender, and his skin was pale white.

Gay means you want to do the sex with guys. I generally didn't want to do the sex with guys. But with Totsuka I could see myself sexing the do. You heard me. Sexing. The. Do. So I might be bi. This guy was cute enough he had me questioning my whole sexuality. Thanks for that. I really, really needed that today.

Well, it was true that he didn't have very large breasts, but it's not like Yukinoshita had those either.

For some reason, I felt a horrible shiver run up my spine.

So having cooled down, I spoke up to Totsuka, who was standing there still smiling at me.

"What did you want?" I wondered.

"Ah. Today you know, the guy I usually pair up with isn't at school. So… umm, if you want, wanna be my partner?"

Stop looking at me with upturned eyes, dammit. You look way too cute like that. Stop blushing, ugh.

"Ahh, that's fine. I'm by myself right now too."

Sorry, wall. I can't hang out with you today…

After I apologized to the wall and responded to Totsuka, he seemed relieved. "Phew, what a relief!" I heard him mutter.

Dammit, hearing that made me nervous. He was seriously way too cute.

According to Yuigahama, Because of how cute Totsuka was, some of the girls at school had begun calling him "the Prince." I see, considering Totsuka was a pretty boy who had a feminine sense of cuteness, that name fit him to a tee. In addition, the name "the Prince" also made you want to protect him. And I would protect him given half the chance.

With that, my free practice with Totsuka began.

Totsuka was on the tennis team, so it was no surprise that he was good.

He got to the superb serve I had mastered in my wall-hitting sessions, and returned the ball right at me.

After we had repeated those motions over and over, Totsuka even started to strike up a conversation, almost as if he was getting bored.

"As I thought, Hikigaya is pretty good."

Because we were pretty far from each other, Totsuka was speaking pretty slowly.

"I was super awesome at wall hitting, so that makes me a tennis master."

"That's squash, not tennis…"

As our slow, drawn-out sentences went back and forth, Totsuka and I continued hitting the ball to each other. The others around us missed shots and missed returns, but we continued our long rally.

And then, the rally stopped. Totsuka caught the ball in his hands as it bounced towards him.

"Let's take a short break."

"Alright."

We sat down together. Why the hell was he sitting next to me? Wasn't that a bit weird? When two guys sat together, wasn't it more normal to sit across from each other or diagonal from each other? Wasn't he too close? Wasn't he way too close?

"Hey, I wanted to ask Hikigaya-kun for some advice…"

Totsuka spoke with a serious look on his face.

I see. If he wanted to ask me for advice in secret, then I guess we had to be close like this. That's why we were sitting so close, wasn't it?

"Advice, huh…? Careful with that. I'm not good for much."

"Yeah. It's about our tennis team actually… we're really not very good, you know? We don't have many people either. And if all the third-years graduate by the next tournament, we'll be in even worse shape. There are a lot of freshmen who joined but who didn't start playing tennis until high school, so they're not very used to it yet… and because we're so weak we can't get motivated either. I mean, it's not like people need to compete for spots to play, so…"

"I see."

That made perfect sense. Actually, that seemed like a common problem for the smaller, weaker sports teams.

Because your team wasn't very good, people didn't join. And because there weren't many people, nobody competed for a spot on the starting lineup.

Even if you took a break or skipped practice, you could play in the tournament, and as long as you were playing matches, you felt involved enough. There were definitely plenty of people who could be fully satisfied by that even if they didn't win any matches.

Those players were never going to get any better. And then, because they didn't, the team had no hope of attracting new players. And thus continued the vicious cycle.

"So… if Hikigaya is okay with it, won't he consider joining the tennis team?"

"… Huh?"

Where did that come from…?

Totsuka saw the confusion in my eyes, and he seemed to shrink into himself as he sat there hugging his knees. He glanced at me once in a while with pleading eyes.

"Hikigaya is good at tennis, and I think he can get better and better. I think he can motivate the others too. And… if it's with Hikigaya, I think I can try harder too. U-Umm… I don't mean that in a weird way or anything! I-It's just that I want to get stronger at tennis!"

"It's fine for you to be weak… I'll protect you."

"… What?"

"Ah… you know. It's nothing." You just had me questioning my sexual preferences over here. Making a guy wonder… was that your plan, Totsuka? To get me thinking?

Seeing Totsuka's lovable innocence made me say the completely wrong thing there, even though I should be trying to be serious here. But come on, he is way too cute. He was so cute that I almost ended up agreeing to join his club on the spot. I almost raised my hand with the vigor of someone charging into battle to get the last piece of cake in the cafeteria.

But no matter how cute Totsuka may be, there were some requests I just could not grant.

"… Sorry. I don't think I can do that…"

I knew my own personality all too well.

I didn't see any point in going to club every day, and also didn't believe in physical activity every morning. The only people who did that were the old geezers doing tai chi in the park, right? And after all, 'I really can't go on with this~~~…' was pretty much my favorite motto.

If someone like me joined the tennis team, I guarantee that all I would do is get Totsuka depressed.

"… I see…"

Totsuka seemed disappointed. Meanwhile, I tried to find something to say in this situation.

"Well umm… don't worry. I'll try to figure something out."

Even though I couldn't do anything.

"Thanks. I think I feel a bit better after talking with Hikigaya."

Don't… don't do that. Don't give me sympathy. You're only making things harder on every one.

Totsuka smiled at me, but I knew that his peace of mind was only temporary. At the same time, a part of me also thought that even if it was only temporary, if Totsuka felt at peace, that in and of itself was worthwhile.

Shit man. I might be gay. And if this is gay, I don't want to be straight.

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"Impossible."

That was the first thing Yukinoshita said to me.

"Impossible, huh… But, umm-"

"The impossible is impossible." See. You said the same thing about us being friends and - oh. Ouch.

And I was coldly rejected once more.

This had started when I took Totsuka's words and went to Yukinoshita for advice.

My plan was to steer the conversation so that I could quit the service club and then publically announce my intention to join the tennis team. Then, little by little, I would fade out of that club as well… But now that plan was being cleanly blocked.

"I mean, I can see where Totsuka was coming from when he asked me to join the tennis team-in short, I have to scare them into being more active. If a new person joins the club, won't that eventually change things?"

"Do you really think you can survive in a group setting like that? Do you think they would readily accept a creature like you?"

"A creature like me… what is a creature like me, Yukinoshita?"

"In a word. Sad."

I bobbed my head.

True… I wouldn't exactly be praised for just quitting, but if I saw all those people lazing around during club and enjoying themselves, then I might go and start hitting them with my racquet.

Yukinoshita's short chuckle almost sounded like a sigh.

"You really don't understand what it means to be in a group, do you? You're a master of solitude."

"Are you really one to talk?"

Yukinoshita continued talking, completely ignoring my comeback.

"I admit that it's possible that they will band together if presented with a common enemy such as you… But they would only make the effort required to throw you out, which will not translate into any personal improvement. Therefore, that isn't a solution at all. I stand as evidence of that."

"I see… Wait, you're evidence?"

"Yes. I returned from overseas in middle school, so naturally I started at a new place, but all the girls in my class… Or, rather, all the girls in the school were desperate to drive me out. Even so, not a single person tried to better themselves to the point where they could beat me. What imbeciles…"

"U-uh, yeah, that makes sense, I guess… I mean, if a girl's as cute as you, then that sort of thing happens…"

"…W-well, that's true. Compared to the other girls, it's no exaggeration to say that my looks are by far the best, and it's not like the other girls are so weakwilled as to just lay down and give up at that, so you could say it was a natural result. That said, Yamashita and Shimamura were also pretty cute… They were pretty popular with the boys as well. But that only applied to their looks. When it came to academics, sports, artistic ability, and even etiquette and spirit, they couldn't even hope to reach my ankles. And if turning the entire world upside down still won't be enough to beat me, then it's natural that they would concentrate all their efforts into grabbing me by the legs and dragging me down instead…"

Yukinoshita had seemed at a loss for words for a moment, but she soon fell back into her same old rhythm and started shooting out flowery, self-aggrandizing statements one after the other.

You could say that her speech flowed like a river, but it was more like the torrents of Niagara Falls… Saying all that without missing a beat was seriously impressive.

Could it be that it was Yukinoshita's way of hiding her embarrassment? So maybe she had her cute sides too…

Yukinoshita was catching her breath, probably because she had talked for so long. Her face was also slightly red.

"…Could you please try not to say something weird? I'm just trembling in fear."

"Okay," I granted. What did it matter. Totsuka was way cuter than any of the girls I knew. Okay. I might have caught a bit of the gay.

"But Totsuka should be happy if something can be done to improve the tennis team…"

As I spoke, Yukinoshita widened her eyes and stared at me.

"How unusual… Since were you the type of person to worry about others?"

"I worry about other people all the time," I defended. "I'm just not very good at it. And this is the first time anyone has asked me for advice."

In the end, getting asked for help did make me somewhat happy. Plus, Totsuka was pretty cute… Without realizing it, my lips began to loosen into a smile. Yukinoshita butted in, almost as if she wanted to stop that smile.

"I've often been asked for love advice in the past." Her chest puffed out proudly as she spoke, but her expression gradually darkened.

"Good for you?" I hazarded a guess.

"…When a girl asks for love advice, it's usually just a strategy to tie others down."

"Bad for you," I realized.

"'If I announce who I like, then the people around me will start to be more careful, right? It's like marking your territory. Once it's a known fact, trespassing will get you treated like a thief and thrown out. Even a guy who confesses will still get thrown out. Did you really need to tell me all that…?"

"A little bit," I confessed. "You think I understand the dating life?"

"My mistake."

"That's what I thought. Come on. This me were talking about. Just a dude trying very hard not be at all. To be or not to be. Whether it is nobler to end my fucking life or drag this thing out. I would rather not be."

"Of course you would say that."

"Yeah, because you have so much fun," I bit out.

"Heyoo~~!" In complete contrast to Yukinoshita, Yuigahama entered with that happy-golucky, screwed-in-the-head greeting. Yuigahama had her usual stupid grin on her face. She seemed as carefree as ever.

However, there was someone else behind her with a serious yet feeble-looking expression on his face.

His lowered eyes were devoid of confidence, and he was weakly gripping the hem of Yuigahama's blazer. His skin was pale white. He reminded me of a faint dream, something that would disappear the minute you looked at it under the light.

"Ah… Hikigaya!" He gave me a bright smile the moment he saw me, and color seemed to return to his pale skin. When he smiled like that, I finally realized who he was. Why did he look so gloomy…?

"Totsuka…" He slowly pitter-pattered towards me, and this time, he grabbed my sleeve tightly. Hey, hey, that's against the rules… Though I guess he's a guy.

"Hikigaya-kun, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, I'm a member of this club… Why are you here?" I wondered.

"I brought a new customer with me today, fufu~~." Yuigahama embellished.

"Hey, come on-I'm a part of this club too, ya know? So I thought I'd earn my keep. And Sai-chan looked like he had something on his mind, so I brought him here."

"Yuigahama," Yukinoshita started.

"Yukinon, you really don't have to thank me. As a club member, this is the least I can do-"

"Yuigahama, I really don't see how you're a club member…" Yukinoshita trailed off.

"I'm not?!"

I was in Yuigahama's camp here. I thought she was a member of the club. Serves me right. Thinking I understood something.

"That's right. You never handed in your application letter and our advisor has not recognized your membership, so you're not a club member."

Yukinoshita was pointlessly strict when it came to the rules.

"Yukinoshita…" I cut in. She met my eyes. She looked away with a little huff. "If I got in…"

"I'll write one! If you want an application letter then I'll write you a million! Just let me join up!"

Yuigahama had tears in her eyes as she took a piece of looseleaf and began to write. 'application letter'… At least capitalize it, dammit.

"So, Totsuka Saika-kun… Right? What do you want from us?"

Yukinoshita ignored the hastily-writing Yuigahama and turned towards Totsuka. Totsuka began to shake as he was pinned in place by Yukinoshita's cold stare.

"U-Umm… I want… to make the tennis team… better, I guess…?"

Totsuka was looking at Yukinoshita at first, but as the sentence progressed, he slowly turned to look towards me. Totsuka was shorter than me, so he was looking up at me as he tried to gauge my reaction.

Please don't stare at me… My heart's starting to race, dammit, so look somewhere else.

But just as I was thinking that, even though I'm sure she wasn't intending to save me, Yukinoshita answered in my place.

"I don't know what Yuigahama told you, but the service club is not some miracle cure-all. We are here only to help and promote independence. Whether the tennis team gets better or not completely depends on you."

"I… see…"

Totsuka shoulders drooped; he looked completely disappointed. Yuigahama must have told him something to get his hopes up…

"Where's that seal, where's that seal…" Yuigahama muttered as she began to rummage through her bag. I glared at her, and as she felt my stare, she looked up. "Huh? What is it?"

"Don't give me that… You made irresponsible false promises, and now we have to break this young man's fragile hopes and dreams," Yukinoshita threw merciless words at Yuigahama, but Yuigahama just cocked her head in puzzlement.

"Hm? Hmmm? But, I mean, I thought Yukinon and Hikki would definitely be able to do something… Was I wrong?" Yuigahama said that in a completely nonchalant tone. Depending on how you took that statement, you could almost hear a bit of a teasing challenge in it too.

And, unfortunately, there was someone here who would take it just that way.

"Here we fucking go," I murmured.

"…Hmph. Now you've said it, Yuigahama-san… Whether the one over there can do anything is another issue, but to think you would try to test me like this…"

Yukinoshita laughed. Ahh, it looked like some weird switch had just flipped on inside of her… Yukinoshita Yukino was the kind of person who took all challenges head-on and used all her strength to smash them to pieces-hell, she would smash them to pieces even if she wasn't provoked. She was the kind of person who would mercilessly lay into even a peace-loving Gandhi like myself. It made me wonder what she could do to the big seven.

"Well then, fine, Totsuka-kun: I will accept your request. All I have to do is help you improve your tennis ability, right?"

"Y-yes, that's right. I-if I get better, I think everyone else will try harder too."

Maybe he felt pressured by Yukinoshita's wide-eyed stare, but Totsuka was hiding behind me as he answered. His face peeked out from just slightly above my shoulder, and I saw uneasy fear in his eyes. It was almost like looking at a trembling wild rabbit… And it made me want to put him in a bunny girl costume. So I'm bi. So what? You learn something new every day.

I wanted to alleviate Totsuka's unease, so I took one step forward to protect him.

When I was close to Totsuka, I could smell the scent of shampoo and deodorant. He smelled indescribably like a high school girl… What the hell kind of shampoo was he using?

"Well, it's fine if we help, but what are we going to do?"

"I said it already, didn't I? Do you not remember? If you don't trust your memory, perhaps you should consider taking notes?"

"Wait, don't tell me you were being serious back there…"

As I thought back to when Yukinoshita was saying things about forcing people to work 'until they died,' I saw Yukinoshita smile back at me… It was almost as if she was reading my thoughts. Damn was that smile scary… I mean, I was willing to work myself to death on a handful of problems. But not everybody was up for fighting like their lives depended on it.

Totsuka's white skin became paler and he began to tremble. "Am I… going to die…?"

"I'll keep you safe. Don't worry," I promised. I pat Totsuka on the shoulder. He blushed and gave me a heated look.

"Hikigaya… Are you saying that seriously?"

"A little. I won't let Yukinoshita kill you."

Yukinoshita's gaze seemed to say 'could you stop me.' Yeah bitch. I could.

"I seriously can't understand you sometimes… but…"

"Hm, so Totsuka has tennis practice after school, correct? Well then, let's start our special training sessions during lunch break. Shall we meet on the courts?"

Yukinoshita interrupted Totsuka and began to quickly make plans for tomorrow and beyond.

"Roger~~!" Yuigahama held out the application letter she had just finished writing as she answered. Totsuka also nodded. So… That meant…

"So… I'm going too?"

"Naturally. After all, it's not like you have any other plans for lunch break, right?"

…Nail on the head there. I mean… it was to listen to the voices in my head. But sure. No real plans.

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-WG