and sings the tune without the words

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.

Chapter Six

Cheng-ge,

I'm so sorry I forgot your birthday! I didn't know until A-Die wrote me. I guess I knew when it was last year, but then I forgot it like everything else.

I hope you enjoy the gifts I'm including, and that they make up for it. I saw the jade snake charm and it reminded me of zidian, and it'd be cool to have that on your sword or hanging from your belt. Can you believe it was even purple? It's like it was carved with you in mind!

Lan-xiansheng said purple jade is for peace, devotion, and insight, and that snakes are symbols of longevity and fortune. He said I was smart to pick it as a birthday gift for you, because the meaning is auspicious. Maybe I knew the meanings before I lost my memory—either that or I just got lucky and picked the best anyway!

Don't set off the talisman inside. Do it outside. It's a surprise what it does! I invented it with you in mind. I kind of scared Lan-xiansheng with it, actually. He wasn't too mad, and was interested in how I came up with it, but I couldn't explain. It's like it was just in my head one morning when I woke up, or at least a variation of it.

Lan-xiansheng is writing A-Die and A-Niang, because I had another episode, and this one was embarrassing because it was in front of Nie-zongzhu—I called him Chifeng-Zun when I greeted him and then I passed out. Lan Zhan said I was talking even though I was passed out, too, something about war. I don't remember any of it, not even greeting him!

He's very nice, though, and came to make sure I was okay when I woke up. I guess he has two sons, and one of them is our age, and he said maybe he'll bring them with when he comes to Lotus Pier next. Wouldn't it be cool to make new friends?

I guess Xichen-ge (he wants me to call him that since I'm Lan Zhan's betrothed) knows Nie Mingjue, and he said he's big on sparring and cultivation, so that would be a lot of fun. He said Nie Huaisang paints and writes poetry and captures birds to be his pets. When I heard that I tried catching a bird even though I can't keep it because there are no pets in the Cloud Recesses, which is really a waste but at least there aren't dogs. But catching birds is super hard, so I bet he's really stealthy and smart.

The classes here are pretty interesting, and the teachers are being really patient with me asking questions—Lan-xiansheng told them I lost my memory and so my knowledge is spotty. I'm also getting really good with my dizi, according to my tutor.

The Cloud Recesses are really peaceful, and it's pretty nice even with all the rules. Lan Zhan helps me follow them, and Lan-xiansheng is still understanding when I forget, I guess because I lost all my memory so he might worry it's easier for me to forget things. I hope I don't have memory problems for my whole life!

Can you believe Lan Zhan didn't have any friends before he met us? He's quiet and hard to read sometimes, but the other Lan disciples thought he was snobby or something, so he was always alone. Obviously I had to do something about it, so I've been helping include him in conversations and making sure we talk about things he likes sometimes, and it's working—one disciple even asked him for help on his guqin playing, and Lan Zhan is tutoring him and he's super grateful.

I really miss you and A-Lian and Jiejie, and A-Niang and A-Die of course. I hope you're not jealous that I'm also sending them presents. I got you the most, but I keep seeing interesting things in the market that everyone would like and I can't help myself.

Happy late birthday, Gege,

Jiang Wuxian

Xian-di,

That qiankun pouch of presents you sent was bottomless, I swear. I'm really happy with the snake charm, but I'm not surprised you didn't remember my birthday. I figured we'd celebrate together when you got back.

You don't need to apologize, Didi—and anyway if you want to make it up to me, spend your allowance on yourself! You give so much to everyone else, but give yourself some presents too, okay? If you see something we might like, just draw it and send it with a letter instead.

There've been loads of times you've remembered something without realizing it, just by doing what comes naturally, like with sword forms. I bet you did remember the symbolism. You're super smart, Didi, and you were always good with literature and poetry. You'll keep remembering, even if you don't remember you remembered!

I set off the talisman in the main courtyard outside the sword hall, and so all the disciples got to see the swarm of flying purple frogs. I have no idea how you got each of them to explode into more frogs but it was like watching mundane fireworks, only better! Did you choose frogs because of Sandu's pommel? I really liked it, Didi!

The noise was a little much for A-Lian, but she liked them, too. Jiejie wants you to do a demonstration of them for Jin Zixuan when he visits and you're back home—she's writing to him and he's actually writing back and they're sending gifts and it's kind of gross but at least he's not acting like she's annoying anymore. I bet you could make one that has exploding peacocks!

That reminds me, Jin-zongzhu showed up and was kind of rude to a-die. A-Niang shooed me away before I could hear much, but he was talking about Meng-ayi and Mo-guniang, so I went and found them and told them to hide with their sons in the kitchens with Jiejie until he left. A-Niang said I did good, and A-Die was happy with me when he heard, too, but said I shouldn't have to know so much so young—but I can't help hearing things, and I just did what I knew you would do if you were here. He promised that no one can take them from Lotus Pier because they belong here now.

A-Niang told them to stay in Lotus Cove for now, and not venture into Lotus Pier unless she can go with them, because she doesn't trust Jin-zongzhu. Meng-ayi said they want for nothing and don't need to go anywhere. But I heard the older disciples talking about Jin disciples hanging around in town. I made them tell A-Die. I don't know what Jin-zongzhu wants with them, but it's really weird.

I don't think Nie-zongzhu even has a title, and I hear his sword glare is green. The Nies cultivate with sabers instead of swords, and they're really strong. A-Die sometimes quizzes me on the main clans, since I'm going to be sect leader someday, so I know they're descended from butchers and so that's why they use sabers. If Nie-zongzhu checked on you, he must be a good person, so it'll be fun to meet his heirs.

Even if you have memory problems, you know we'll always help you, so don't worry too much about the future. Anyway, if the Lan healers can slowly fix the resentful energy problem, it might get better. Focus on now, and let the future work itself out.

Don't they have like 3000 rules? I'm not surprised you forget them sometimes, and they better go easy on you since you need to keep healing. Don't let anyone talk down to you just because you got hurt, okay?

Lan Wangji was super quiet when the Lans first came to Lotus Pier. You know he wouldn't leave your bedside the whole time you were out? Cuz he promised he wouldn't leave—you asked him not to when you were delirious with fever. Anyone who'd do that for you is a good person in my book, so it's good you got some of those stuffy Lans to see it, too.

You know a lot of the Jiang disciples were really awkward with me before you came to Lotus Pier because of my temper. You kind of did the same thing for me as you did Lan Wangji there. I was mad at you at first because you were scared of dogs and we had to give away mine. I know you don't remember that, and I'm glad you don't remember me being mean—but having you for a brother is way better.

We all miss you too. Jiejie is sending some treats for you with this letter, all sweets she made in the kitchen. The membranes for your dizi are from me—I know they have them in Gusu but they're practical. Oh, and I guess A-Die and A-Niang are sending stuff too. A-Lian started to learn painting and made a bunny painting for you, based on the bunny toy you sent. You won't be able to tell they're bunnies since they're kind of just blobs but she's too little to paint well yet.

We'll celebrate both our birthdays together when you get home.

Don't have too much fun without me,

Jiang Cheng

I was going to hold off on posting this until my cultural beta had a chance to look at it, but they're out of town and it's… been a week.

For those of you who don't know, I live in the US, in a red state, and am female-bodied, disabled, and queer. The news that hit the fan yesterday has been upsetting, particularly the bits of Alito's draft that specifically reference gay marriage and rights as not being based in history, with a clear implication those are next.

This sort of thing has happened in other countries, and it's almost always a precursor to fascism and atrocities. The precedents are all terrifying.

I'm posting this because I desperately need a little dopamine as I struggle through digesting all of this, as well as finals week grading. Kudos and comments are loved, and I hope you're enjoying this epistolary journey.

Aaand somehow I forgot to post this to FFN despite having uploaded it. Whoops.