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The people who gathered in the clubroom after school were Yukinoshita, Yuigahama and me. Oh, and Hayama too.

"What did you find?" Yukinoshita pressed Yuigahama and me for our information report.

Yuigahama laughed sheepishly. "Sorry! I asked the girls if they knew anything, but I got zilch!" she apologised meekly.

Yeah, but that couldn't be helped. That was also because of how Ebina‐san went on and on about things Yuigahama really didn't need to know like shipping the uke and seme and whatnot. Yuigahama's attempt at listening for information went nowhere.

Yukinoshita lowered her head and peered down directly at Yuigahama. But she did not seem particularly mad. "Is that so? In that case, I don't mind."

"Huh? Are you okay with that?"

"On the contrary, today you found out that the girls had no interest and were not related. That makes it purely a problem concerning Hayama's group. Yuigahama, you did well."

"Y‐Yukinon…" Yuigahama's eyes clouded over with emotion.

Yukinoshita neatly dodged Yuigahama's hug. Yuigahama's forehead hit the wall with a thump and her eyes welled up with tears.

Astonished, Yukinoshita nursed Yuigahama's forehead. At the same time, she looked at me. "So, what about you?"

"Sorry, I didn't find a clue to the culprit's identity."

"…I see." I thought she'd rip my head off, but Yukinoshita only let out a resigned sigh. Then she looked at me with very pitying eyes. "Nobody would talk to you."

"No, that's not it…"

It's true I had no confidence anyone would answer me if I talked to them. The act of talking to people and broaching a subject uses up a high amount of spiritual calories.

"I didn't find out who the culprit was, but I did learn one thing," I said.

Yukinoshita, Yuigahama and Hayama all leaned forward. Doubtful eyes, expectant eyes, interested eyes ‐ as I received their gazes in turn, I let out a single cough. As if on cue, Yukinoshita asked, "What did you learn, I wonder?"

"That group is Hayama's."

Huh? Aren't you stating the obvious?" Yuigahama said vehemently as if I was an idiot. All I could see in her eyes was, 'Who's this virgin? Ooka?' Hey, leave Ooka out of it.

"Uhh… Hikitani, what do you mean?"

"Oh, I phrased it badly. I meant 'Hayama's' in the possessive sense. In other words, the group belongs to Hayama and exists for his sake."

"Nah, I don't really think it's like that…" Hayama said, but that was only because of his lack of self‐awareness. In that case, maybe the three in that group were just as unaware as he was.

But since I was an outsider, the differences to me were as plain as day. "Hayama, have you ever seen those three when you're not around?"

"No, never…"

"That goes without saying," Yukinoshita said as if I was an idiot. "It's not like you can see anything when you're not there." This was quantum mechanics. The power of observation.

I nodded. "That's the only reason why Hayama never noticed. Those three stop getting along at all as soon as it's just the three of them. To put it simply, they all like Hayama as their 'friend', but the others are 'friends of their friend.'"

Yuigahama was the only one who reacted to what I said. "Oh. Oooohhh. I totally get it. It's awkward when the person who keeps the conversation going isn't there. I never know what to say so I end up playing with my phone…" She hung her head, as if remembering something unpleasant

Yukinoshita leaned in towards the down‐faced Yuigahama. "Is… that what it's like?" she whispered quietly into Yuigahama's ear, tugging on her sleeve hesitantly. Yuigahama folded her arms and nodded in confirmation.

That was Yukinoshita for you. She had no experience with friends, and so she had no experience with friends of friends either.

Hayama merely went quiet, as if reflecting on my words. But this was one thing Hayama couldn't fix. To him, they really were his friends. But that relationship didn't extend between all three of them ‐ they just had to make do with each other.

Being someone's friend meant bending over backwards for them. So on no condition did I think that having a lot of friends is a wonderful thing

Hayama was currently stuck in that quagmire. He was surrounded by friends, but on the other hand, you could say he was trapped by them. Running away wasn't an option either. No escaping fate.

Still, I knew a way to get out of that situation.

"Assuming you're correct, Hikigaya‐kun, their motives only become stronger." Yukinoshita put a hand on her chin in contemplation. "Perhaps there's no way to determine who did it out of those three. The situation can't be controlled unless the culprit is removed. All the more reason to suspect those three…"

Removing people, making things normal ‐ Yukinoshita was a scary one. Had she removed the Sagawa‐san and Shimoda‐san of her past?

On that note, kicking people out of school was a terrible thing to do, so I suggested another approach. "Nah, there's no need to remove the culprit. There's a better way," I said

Yukinoshita tilted her head and peered at me quizzically.

There was no mistaking the wisdom behind removing the culprit when a crime had been committed. But another option remained. In the case of a jewel theft, the crime would never have happened if the jewel did not exist. Remove the jewel that would be stolen ahead of time.

"Hayama, you can solve this if you want to. You don't have to search for the culprit and the situation won't escalate any further ‐ and this way, they might become better friends."

I wonder what sort of look I had on my face as I said that. I was smiling, at least. And it was such a splendid smile that it made Yuigahama pull back in horror.

Inadvertently, I started cackling the way Zaimokuza did. If there existed a devil that chased humans to make wicked deals with them, it might have looked like me at that moment.

"You wanna know?" I asked.

Hayama, the poor, lost lamb, listened to the devil's offer and nodded fervently in response.

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It was the next day when Hayama made the decision regarding his own fate.

In the classroom, the names of all the classmates were listed on the blackboard. Each grouping consisted of three names, and they were written down to indicate the groups for the workplace tour. The three girls sitting next to me giggled and smiled at each other as they went up to the blackboard and began writing down their own names, having promised each other beforehand.

As for me, I didn't call out to anyone and just sat there watching as if I were spaced out. This was how I dealt with those occasions when we had to split into groups. At these times it was vital not to make a single move. The late Takeda Shingen also said the same thing: "Immobile like a mountain." He was completely right. I was waiting for the winds of fortune to shift and for the homeroom teacher to say, "Yes, yes, I know you all hate Hikigaya‐kun, but it's not good to leave him out! Not good!"

(…that's what my fourth grade homeroom teacher said. I'll never forgive that old hag Isehara.)

Anyway, as the saying "Good things come to those who wait" goes, all a loner has to do is wait around half‐asleep the whole time until two classmates who can't find a third person resorts to calling out your name. And that's how our happy little group gets formed!

...meh… I could be doing figures right now…

I chuckled and pulled out my notebook and opened to a page on statistical forces for a machine learning program I was writing which used a deep learning neural network. But was I a Bayes guy…

As I started working on the mathematics, someone gently shook me by the shoulders. I could feel the softness of those delicate hands even through my clothes. When a voice called out "Hachiman", it was heavenly music to my ears. As if I were gently shaken awake by heaven, I opened my eyes from my slumber.

"Morning, Hachiman."

"…an angel? Oh, it's Totsuka."

Whoa, did that take me off guard. He was so cute I thought for sure he was an angel. Giggling, Totsuka sat down at the seat next to me where the girls had been just before.

"What's up?" I asked.

Totsuka held onto the sleeves of his gym clothes tightly and gazed at me with upturned eyes. "A‐about the group formations…" he began hesitantly

"Hm? Oh, yeah. You've done well for yourself."

So Totsuka had already decided after all. What a pity.

As I stretched, I looked around the classroom. The majority of groups had been picked, so it was about time for us loners to make an appearance. I had to join a makeshift group with the other loners. There were difficulties even in groupings among loners, and if I made a late start, I'd end up being forced to group with two people who got along well. It was time to look for the losers by checking the names on the blackboard.

At that exact same moment, a group was getting written down. It was a certain threesome I remembered on sight.

The new Three Musketeers! I had unwittingly witnessed the birth of a new legacy. By the way, my favourite character is 'Ooka, the virgin fence‐sitter.' After he wrote down his name and looked at the others' faces, he laughed awkwardly. I couldn't see Hayama's name anywhere.

As I watched the three of them, I heard a sudden voice. "Can I sit here?"

Without waiting for my reply, he sat down next to Totsuka. At the sudden appearance of an unexpected newcomer, Totsuka threw an anxious look in my direction and muttered, "Er, uhhh…" It was super cute.

"Thanks to you, we settled things peacefully. Thanks, man." The newcomer smiled cheerfully. It was Hayama Hayato.

"I did nothing," I insisted. So why the hell was this guy talking to me like he knew me? Was he a nice guy? A really nice guy?

"Give yourself some credit. If you hadn't said what you did, they might still be fighting."

Or so Hayama claimed, since I didn't do a single nice thing. In fact, all I'd been thinking of was dragging Hayama onto the path of the loner.

The reason why those three were fighting was because they wanted to be with Hayama. So take out the root cause and voila.

Basically, the answer was to separate Hayama Hayato from his friends. The existence of a loner was like a permanently neutral country. If you weren't one, trouble would come your way even when it wasn't your own doing. If the world was populated entirely by loners, there would undoubtedly be no such thing as war or discrimination. Hey, I deserved the Nobel Peace Prize for that.

"I've always wanted everyone to get along, but I see now that I cause conflict too…" Hayama muttered, and for the first time, he seemed lonely.

Unable to find any words to respond to Hayama, I let out a non‐committal grunt. Hayama had gone to the Service Club out of his sheer desire to find a solution to help his friends and his group, and all I had given him was a harsh, bitter choice.

Even though he had gone out of his way to talk to me and had remembered Zaimokuza's name. Even though he was a nice guy. Even though he lived a high school life more blissful than anyone else's.

And yet it was because Hayama Hayato didn't like that about himself that he said all that.

"Those three were surprised when I said I wouldn't get in a group with them. I think it'd be nice if this could motivate them into becoming real friends."

"…yeah, I guess." Honestly, I thought anyone this nice had to have some kind of illness. I made the appropriate generic response as I drew back slightly.

"Thanks. Oh, and you know, I haven't decided on a group yet, so how about we go together?" Smiling, Hayama held out his right hand in front of me.

…huh? A handshake? What was up with this riajuu, acting all chummy with me? Geez, don't screw with me. What, was he an American or something?

"O‐okay, buddy." And because of that, I unintentionally answered like a Yankee American.

I slapped his hand ("Ouch") and Hayama smiled once again. Now that he had become a loner like me, we might come to understand each other better now.

Now then, all we needed was to secure one more person and our work was done.

Suddenly, an adorable organism was groaning next to me.

"…Totsuka, what's up?" I looked at him. Totsuka's teary eyes and his sulky face were super cute.

"Hachiman… what about me?"

"Er, uh, huh?" I blinked. "I, uh, thought you'd already decided."

"I have!" Totsuka braced himself and clung to my cuff of my blazer tightly. "I decided to go with you from the beginning, Hachiman."

"So that's what you meant by decided…"

What was this literary trick? But you know, since a loner's ability to read subtext was unnecessarily high, I'd never even realised he had never specified who he was going with. When I looked at the blushing, sulking Totsuka, my face softened without me knowing. When I laughed, Totsuka looked up at me and giggled.

Hayama, who was watching the two of us smiling, stood up straight and looked back at us over his shoulder. "Right, I'll go write our names. Where do you want to go?"

"It's up to you," I said, and Totsuka nodded in agreement.

So Hayama began writing our names on the blackboard:

"Hayama", "Totsuka", "Hikigaya". Oh, so he didn't spell my name wrong. That made me kind of happy, I guess. Could it be that these people were my friends?

Hayama went on and began to write "workplace we want to visit". And then‐

"Oh, ooooh," a girl remarked. "I'll do the same thing Hayato's doing."

"No way, Hayama‐kun's going there?" another girl said. "Oh, I'll change mine too, I'll change mine too!"

"I'll go there too!" And another.

"Hayato's the real deal! He's super Hayato!"

Our classmates bombarded Hayama all at once. And then, as they eagerly yabbered among themselves, they chose the same place as Hayama did and replaced their names on the blackboard. Soon enough, my name was lost underneath the mountain of names written over the top. And once again, my existence was ignored accordingly.

And with that, I slip away unnoticed, sirs and ladies. Needless to say, friendship is also something that can slip away unnoticed at any moment.

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-WG