pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

I saw something. The beginning of something. Remember that thought experiment about the AI simulating you and torturing you if you didn't let it out of the box? Well I started looking for evidence that I was in a box. The hyperbolic geometry of Poincare's disk implied I was already inside of an object. Some kind of fractal if I was right.

Further still there was experimental evidence that there were parallel universes. Other boxes just waiting to be opened. I was then inside one of these boxes.

I was doomed.

The knowledge hit me like a rock. I was already under pressure and was being blackmailed by something. Something out there somewhere was blackmailing me. Call it a god. Call it an alien. Call it an AI. Call it all three. An alien machine god. I was currently being blackmailed by something like that. Something like that had me in a box and when I died it was going to torture me unless I went through with it's whims. Or it was already torturing me… I blinked away a bug in my eye. I wasn't always like this. I recalled a time in my life where I wasn't plagued by little bugs and spikes and nails. I had been free once. But now I was tortured. There was no reason for god to wait to start torturing me when he could start now and forever.

So I was in a box already. What did that imply? What truths could I divine about the box maker? Well I knew that they were mostly apathetic to human suffering. Humans had been suffering on this planet for one hundred thousand years. Give nine hundred thousand or take fifty thousand depending on your definition of human. But I didn't need a million years to make my point. During that time there had been disease, famine, drought, slavery, war, and big cats coming out of the night to prey on human flesh. Have you ever heard a big cat growl? There was something instinctual about it that made human hair stand on end. For almost a million years if not longer humans had been prey to such animals. All of that, all of that, heaven watched with folded arms. Apathetic. The java child had been ripped from his parents by a big cat and devoured in the night. Human brains crushed out of a skull and lapped up with a razor tongue. Again, depending on your definition of human. I thought it stretched back a bit but I might be biased towards the human suffering aspects.

What did it all mean?

I found myself begging on the edge of prayer. It meant god didn't care about human suffering at best. Or worse human suffering was the point. And wasn't I a prime example of human suffering? The way the bugs gnawed on my eyes was unbearable at times. My nervous system was just fucked.

But I was experiencing exactly what god wanted me to be experiencing.

God was cruel.

The knowledge bricked me. It was like something out of Lovecraft's nightmares. God himself was cruel. He didn't care. It was the classic problem of evil. What did he want from me. 'He.' I laughed. It. What did it want from me?

I was being blackmailed but I wasn't even sure what my oppressor wanted me to do. He surely wanted me to do something or why else blackmail me? Why give me the tools to see that I was being blackmailed. Why let me know I was one of quadrillions of versions of myself in a box. How many boxes were there? One for each state the universe could be in probably. I've seen figures for that like 10^{10^{500}}. And let's be honest, if the universe was hyperbolic then it probably went on forever in every direction and that figure well and did truly approach infinity. Infinite boxes. What could you do with infinite universes in infinite boxes. You could probably blackmail a lot of dumbass apes. That's what you could do. But why? Same old why.

I tasted iron and realized I was biting my tongue. I was getting nowhere. I needed to take a step back. God says to you to do 'x.' And if you don't do 'x' he will torture you in every simulation where you don't do 'x.' I was in such a box. I was being tortured. But while it hurt, god wasn't making it hurt as bad as he probably could. I mean… I had my sister. I had moments without pain. So I probably hadn't not done it yet. But I was currently on track to not do it. I needed to make a change and figure out what 'x' was. I needed to know what god wanted from me.

Or I was crazy?

So between the two of us I'm not the most sane of individuals and other theoretical physicists didn't believe this really fucked up thing about reality I had concocted. But I didn't think so. I think I was using some pretty hard cut syllogisms.

I'm in pain.

God controls whether I'm in pain.

God wants me in pain.

And:

I'm blackmailed if I'm in a box.

I'm in a box.

I'm being blackmailed.

I could hardly think straight and I was chewing on my tongue none too gently. I was struggling with some pretty big ideas. How could I get away? Kill myself? I suppose but there was no guarantee I'd get away from god if I killed myself. It was all so dark and based on Lovecraft's view that the further you see the more horrible shit you'd notice. Lovecraft had been wrong. About a lot. About so much. He thought it was possible that civilizations had risen and fallen here on Earth before humanity. This was impossible. We would have discovered the ruins of such places by now and there were other unmistakable signs of intelligent life. Everything indicated a slow suffering crawl from pond scum to mankind. And mankind was then just pondscum. I felt like humanity was a spider in god's shower and brother we were circling the drain.

I turned my attention to the side and forced myself to focus on something trivial.

The midterms were converging on us right before our eyes.

There are many cases where study time roughly meant family restaurant time or library time, but there's no way to supervise a high school student who takes a stroll at eleven at night. I'm told that you get kicked out from a family restaurant past ten o'clock. For that reason, night‐time studying is something done entirely at home.

The hands of the clock were pointing close to twelve. I groaned and stretched. I figured I'd still be studying for one or two more hours. Should I drink some coffee? I wondered to myself. With heavy feet, I dragged myself down the stairs and into the living room. The coffee was right where I remembered it.

Replenishing one's sugar content is absolutely indispensable when you overuse your brain. By that I mean it was time for the sickly sweet MAX Coffee to make its appearance.

(Sudden thought: MAX Coffee is erotic when you put the caffeine and just the right amount of milk in it. First of all, it looks uncannily like a giant pair of breasts. The coffee winks at you and suggests, "I won't let you sleep tonight " ‐ or something like that. Someone should draw MAX Coffee‐tan on Pixiv for me…)

As I was walking into the living room, thinking various useless paraphernalia about MAX Coffee, I noticed my little sister Komachi napping on the sofa. This chick's midterms were coming up soon just like mine, but as usual she didn't have a care in the world. She was smart.

As I rummaged around for the MAX Coffee I bought, I remembered that the container had already been opened and so I started boiling the water instead. I poured water into the Tefal kettle, flipping the power switch on with a click as I did so. Bored and waiting for the water to boil, I sat at the edge of the sofa where my little sister was sleeping.

Komachi was sleeping with her stomach exposed provocatively.

Her bare, white skin rose and fell in time with her snores. At the same time, her cute belly button twitched. As she stirred with a soft groan, I could see she was stretched out under my T‐shirt and blazer, both of which she had taken without asking. I hadn't noticed this earlier because she had been curled up in a ball, but why was this chick in her underwear? She was going to catch a cold at this rate.

I covered her with a nearby bath towel for now. In reaction, Komachi mumbled something in her sleep. As this was going on, the boiling water had started hissing and a click announced that it was done. I tipped the instant coffee into a mug and poured the hot water on top of it.

A pleasant smell wafted from the coffee. I added an ample amount of milk and sugar to the dark coffee and stirred it four whole times with a teaspoon. When I did that, my lovely sweet coffee was ready to be served.

The milk's luxurious aroma and the coffee's sweet‐smelling fragrance mixed with each other. I just knew it was going to be great.

As if she had caught a wind of that scent, Komachi sprang up with a start.

The first thing she did was stand stock still, staring at me in silence for two whole seconds. Then, without saying a single word, she took three whole seconds to open the shirt and curtain in silence. Then she opened her eyes wide and stared at the clock for five whole seconds in silence. It took her ten seconds in total to grasp her current situation.

Then she inhaled deeply. "Crap! I overslept!" she started shouting in an obnoxiously loud voice. "I only planned to sleep for an hour, but then I slept for five!"

"Oh, I see how it is. You overslept, you say? You went straight to sleep as soon as you got home."

"You suck! I had a shower before I slept!"

"Geez, I have absolutely no idea why you're so offended."

"Anyway, why didn't you wake me up?!"

"I was fuckin' busy! But put on some pants for god's sake. And who gave you permission to wear my clothes?"

"Hm? Oh, this. It's the perfect nightie. Isn't it like a one piece?" she said as she pulled on the front of the shirt.

Don't stretch it, don't stretch it. I can see your bra, you know. And don't twirl around ‐ I can see your panties.

"…okay, I'll stop wearing them, you whiner," she said.

"Oh, thanks. Then I'll give you some underwear, Komachi."

"Ohhh, much appreciated!"

I sipped my coffee, having sworn deep in my heart that I would actually give her a dust cloth instead. As Komachi rolled up the sleeves of my shirt like a one piece pyjama again, she went into the kitchen and started heating up milk in the microwave.

"By the way, what are you doing at this hour?"

"I'm always awake. I was working on my Basilisk."

"Is that a math thing?"

"It's like a math thing."

Komachi made a sound of surprise. "I still haven't had a break now that you mention it." Then she paused. "Big brother, I swear, you'll be a businesslike man when you start working."

"Hey, businesslike doesn't mean I like working. Your English sucks."

"No way, big brother. English is totally my forte. I'm a genius yo. I AM SMARTICLES," she said with not very genius‐like English ability. Smarticles isn't even a word, you dolt.

The microwave let out a ring. Komachi held the mug in both hands, and as she blew on it to cool it down, she started walking towards me. "Guess I'll study too."

"Be my guest. I'll get back to studying, then. You better stick to it, too."

I downed my coffee with one gulp and stood up. But at that moment, Komachi pulled on the back of my T‐shirt and let out a croak like a bullfrog. When I turned around, Komachi was smiling broadly.

"You said 'you too,' right? Doesn't that normally mean 'let's do it together'? Big brother, is your Japanese impaired?"

"You're the one whose Japanese is impaired…"

Well, it wouldn't hurt to dumb myself down temporarily by looking at my idiotic little sister's homework, I figured.

And with that, my night‐time study session with my little sister began.

We brought all our study tools from our rooms and spread them out on the table in the living room. I decided to focus mainly on Japanese history today, so I went through Yamakawa's group of questions as well as the manual, and then I got into the notes.

On Komachi's end, there was 'Middle School English: Target 1800,' as if that would help with her deplorable English.

Together, we studied silently and diligently. I answered the questions and included extensive explanations in the notes whenever there were mistakes. We repeated that process countless times. By the time I finished looking over the contents of the midterms, I realised that Komachi was staring at me with a faraway look in her eyes.

"…what?" I demanded.

"Hm? Oh, I was just thinking you're so straight‐laced, big brother."

"You lookin' down on me? You pickin' a fight, you brat? I'll pull your hair!"

But Komachi just laughed at my feeble threats. "So you say, big brother, but you definitely wouldn't hit me."

"Huh? That's just what you think. The reason I don't hit you is because our parents would punch me if I did. That's all. Don't get the wrong idea."

"Teehee. You're blushing, you're blushing," she sang as she did a peace sign.

"Sh… shuddup…"

For now, I contented myself with poking her on the forehead. Specifically, I flicked an eraser at her head, causing her to self‐destruct. Basically, I unleashed all the reserves of my power in a complete, no‐holds‐barred attack.

"Oof!" Komachi moaned. The rubber hit her forehead, leaving a dint. As she nursed her forehead, Komachi glared at me with teary eyes. "Hmph… and here I was praising you for being such a good student…"

"That's because you said a dumbass thing. Now just study already, geez."

"Stuff like that is what makes you straight‐laced. Man, there are so many different types of brothers and sisters out there. I have a friend who goes to the same cram school as me whose older sister became a delinquent. She doesn't come home at all at night and stuff."

"Uh huh." It seemed Komachi had already lost all motivation to study. Somewhere along the lines, she'd closed the Target: 1800 book. By now, we were neck deep in pointless chatter time.

As I wisely ignored Komachi's chatter, I went on studying Japanese history. 645, the year of the Taika Reforms was 645.

"But ya know, his sis was a super serious student until she got into Soubu High. I wonder if something happened to her."

"Oh, is that so."

Komachi's words went in one ear and out the other. 694, the year Fujiwara‐kyo became the capital was 694. Oh wait, was that 794? No, that was the Heian‐kyo.

Still, it was enough to put me to sleep. People have a strong will not to lose to drugs. In other words, no matter how much caffeine I took, my desire to sleep might win over.

"But well, it's his family so I can't really say anything. We're getting closer lately, so he's been confiding in me, but there's not much I can do. Oh, his name's Kawasaki Taishi‐kun and he started attending my cram school this April."

"Komachi." My mechanical pencil fell from my fingers with a clatter. My tiredness had vanished in an instant. "What's your relationship with this Taishi‐kun? What do you mean by getting closer?"

"Whoa, you've got a scary look in your eyes, big brother…"

It seemed I had been looking at her kind of seriously. Komachi was slightly startled. But this was my idiot sister here. Something might happen to her if she didn't watch out for herself. It was natural that I'd be worried for her as a family member. If she was entangled with some boy, it wouldn't be good for her.

Big brother really doesn't tolerate that stuff.

"Meh. Tell me if there's something bothering you. I told you this before, but the stuff I do with the Service Club ‐ which I still don't get, by the way ‐ might be able to help you out. I guess."

Komachi puffed out her cheeks and smiled when I said that.

"Big brother, you really are a straight‐laced guy!"

"Hmmm," I hummed.

"Big brother, what's a basilisk?"

"A basilisk?" I wondered. "It's a lizard that when you look at it it kills you. It's a mythical creature."

"So why are you working on a basilisk?"

"The idea is to come up with a thought experiment that other people can't escape from."

"Why?" She wondered.

"Well… other people try to come up with good ones. So I do too. There's this famous one called Roko's basilisk which I think slaps but not for the reason it was designed for. I think it's pretty good at revealing when you're being blackmailed from the distant past or distant future. Einstein would have thought about. That's how he got most of his work done. Thought experiments."

"How can you be blackmailed from the past or future?"

"The other agent has to be really powerful. Basically a god."

"And that exists?"

"Well… maybe like a really big fucked up alien or machine. That sort of thing."

"I didn't have you pegged as the type to believe in aliens…"

"The universe is massive. It might literally go on forever. It's arrogant to think we're alone." It's also arrogant to think that we're first. But that just fed my fears.

"So you believe in aliens?"

"Really far away. Sure. Through both time and space really far away," I agreed.

"Huh. Didn't have you pegged as the type. And you think an alien could blackmail you? Why?"

"Not sure yet," I confessed. "I could have some bit of information they want or think they want or that they think I have. Just stumbled across it by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It depends."

"It sounds crazy…"

"Not as crazy as it seems at first glance though I'd hardly go around telling people this stuff. I'd sound like a lunatic."

"You are a lunatic, big brother," Komachi informed me.

Yeah. Maybe.

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

-WG