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The day after we went to the maid café, the number of people in the clubroom was a record high. We wracked our brains together because according to Yukinoshita, when treating the symptoms was ineffective, you had to change perspective and aim for eradicating the root source of the problem.
I knew that Yukinoshita and I ‐ and maybe Yuigahama too ‐ were club members. It also wasn't so mysterious to see Totsuka and Zaimokuza here since they visited from time to time. One other person was present even though it was unusual for him to be here, and mysteriously enough, he blended into the surroundings.
"What brought you here, Hayama?" I asked.
Hayama was reading a book by the window pane. Oi, give me a break, I thought. What was one of those nice guy jock‐types even doing reading a book? I bet that wasn't all he was capable of. When I called out to him, Hayama closed his book and waved his hand in a self‐effacing gesture.
"You see, Yui called me here…"
"Yuigahama did?"
I turned around to see Yuigahama with her chest puffed up with pride for some reason.
"Yep, I kinda thought about it, and don't you think there has to be some kinda reason Kawasaki‐san changed? So I thought it would be good to get rid of the cause but, like, that's kinda hard to do when no one tells us what that cause is, ya know?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Miraculously enough, Yuigahama's argument made logical sense. Enthralled by this minor miracle, I could only grunt in response. As a result of the ego stroking, Yuigahama puffed out her chest even further until I swear she was looking up at the ceiling.
"I know, right?! That's why we need to think of something to counter it. If she changed for the worse once, then we can change her for the better this time."
She was one of those 'two wrongs make a right' sorts of people. She had to be more of a stooge than the Three Stooges.
"So, why was it necessary to call Hayama‐kun?" Yukinoshita said somewhat thornily, as if she did not think highly of Hayama's capabilities.
But Hayama seemed not to care particularly since he had turned his attention towards Yuigahama.
"You don't get it, Yukinon," Yuigahama said. "There's only one reason why a girl would change."
"The reason a girl would change… are you talking about degradation over time?"
"Isn't that called aging?! Y‐you've got the wrong idea! A girl will always be a girl at heart! Yukinon, have more pride in yourself as a woman!"
"Not that again…" Yukinoshita sighed in astonishment. Still, she had a point. In my opinion, girls who use the phrase 'girl power' have a much lower girl power than the girls they criticise for having no girl power.
"The reason a girl would change i‐is… love, or something like that."
I could hardly believe this chick could blurt out something so embarrassing. …not to mention she was the one who was most embarrassed out of all of us.
"A‐anyway! When you like someone, your whole world changes! I thought we should get someone who could trigger that reaction… so I called Hayato‐kun."
"Er, I don't know why you thought of me," Hayama said to Yuigahama with a strained smile.
Oi, you bastard, if you don't even know why she thought of you, I'll get even more pissed off at you. Zaimokuza evidently thought the same way, because he glared at Hayama at approximately the same moment I did.
"I'm sure there are a lot of other guys who get along with girls. Even among us… isn't Totsuka quite popular?"
Oh, good… so Hayama is aware of his own popularity… I mean no, I'll never forgive that asshole. Zaimokuza evidently thought the same way, because he glared at Hayama at approximately the same moment I did.
"M‐me? I don't really know about that…" Totsuka looked down, his face reddening. When she saw how he looked, Yuigahama folded her arms and pondered slightly.
"Hmm. I think Sai‐chan is cute too, but I don't reckon he's Kawasaki‐san's type. The other guy here is, let's face it, Chuuni is a chuuni. That leaves only Hayato‐ kun."
"Oi, don't just casually leave me out."
She turned bright red. "Y‐you're out of the question, Hikki!" Man, she really didn't need to blow up at me…
On another note, Zaimokuza was even more shocked than I was at being completely sideswiped… also, was her nickname for him 'Chuuni'?
"Yuigahama‐san's judgment is astute," Yukinoshita said to me. "Do you honestly believe that there is anyone in your class who would notice you?"
"Nope." I agreed with her. You see, if I were a girl, I wouldn't have the least bit of interest in a loner like me. Look, that's my talent as a ninja, okay. You can't help it when your existence is shrouded in shadows. Man, what a great ninja I am. Believe it…
"Oh, uh, I didn't mean it like that. I mean you're not really that bad, it's just, you know, reasons and stuff… anyway, I asked Hayato‐kun to help out." As I thought about how I would make use of my shinobi skills to become the Hokage one day, Yuigahama went on talking to Hayama in front of her. "Won't you help us out?"
She clapped her hands together and bowed her head.
There was no guy who would refuse if he was asked like that. A bunch of things happens to boys. They get happy if someone asks them for something and they get a funny feeling in their chest if someone claps their hand together in request and they're motivated by the desire to be a hero by helping others from the time they're small. A bunch of things, I guess.
Hayama appeared to be no different. "I got it," he answered with a slight shrug. "There's nothing else for it if that's the reason. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll do what I can." He paused. "You do your best too, Yui," he said as he clapped his hand on Yuigahama's shoulder.
Ugh, wasn't he the one who's supposed to do his best?
"Th‐thanks…" Yuigahama answered blushingly from being touched.
And with that, Yuigahama's plan 'Operation: Gigolo Hayama's Romcom Exploits!' went underway. What a lame naming sense. The gist of it was simple. Hayama would use all of his gigolo powers at once to catch and ensnare Kawasaki's heart. (By the way, why do they say you 'catch' a person's heart anyway? Not even a gigolo is capable of ripping a heart out of someone's chest.)
Moving into position at the bicycle parking area, we went on waiting in preparation for Kawasaki to arrive. Of course, since it was unusual for us to be with Hayama, we put some distance between us so that we could observe what was going on between him and her.
Then finally, the time came.
Kawasaki walked into view, listlessly dragging her feet the same way as yesterday. As she stifled a yawn and opened the lock on her bicycle, Hayama chose that moment to appear.
"Hey there. You seem tired," he remarked lightly.
It was meant to be an act, but he said it with such natural ease that we, who were listening nearby, couldn't help but utter "Hey there" back at him.
"Do you have a part‐time job? You shouldn't bite off more than you can chew, you know?" he said with such casual concern. I can't believe that Hayama, half of me thought, while the other half was in love with him.
Meanwhile, Kawasaki just sighed with irritation. "Thanks for looking out for me. Well, later." She started pushing her bike out without a care in the world.
But as she turned her back, a warm voice assailed her, one that would thaw even the coldest of hearts.
"Look…"
That made Kawasaki stop in her tracks. She looked back at Hayama over her shoulder from where she stood. A refreshing early summer breeze blew in the space between those two. At this sudden romcom development, Yuigahama leaned her whole body forward with great interest, gripping her hands so tightly her palms were sweaty.
Meanwhile, Zaimokuza seethed with hate and jealousy and gripped his fists with killing intent. As the cool breeze stopped, Hayama's voice rang out. Hayama had pretty boy sparkles all over him. He was reeking of pheromones.
"You don't have to pretend to be so tough, you know?"
For a moment, neither of them said anything.
"Thanks, but no thanks." Kawasaki went on wheeling her bicycle.
But for Hayama Hayato, time had stopped. He had been left behind. It took a full ten seconds for Hayama to return to where we were watching over in the shadows.
"So it looks like I was rejected," he laughed sheepishly.
Zaimokuza burst out laughing at the rejection. I told him to shut up.
"It's mean to laugh!" Totsuka told him off, looking as if he was trying very hard to hold back on his laughter himself. Zaimokuza's bellowing laughter was infectious and he just couldn't help himself.
"W‐well, you see. I don't really mind, Totsuka," Hayama said, grimacing. …man, was he a nice guy. He'd helped us out despite his misgivings, and because of that he'd suffered a humiliation. And yet he took it like the good sport he was.
Predictably enough, Zaimokuza stifled his laughter as he considered Hayama's situation, and coughed loudly instead.
"Sir Hayama… you don't have to pretend to be so tough pfffft! Hahahaha!"
"Idiot! Quit it, Zaimokuza! Stop making me laugh!"
As Zaimokuza roared in laughter, Yuigahama's face stiffened. "You are the worst…"
"So this was a failure too," said Yukinoshita. "It couldn't be helped. Tonight, we'll try going to the other store."
"Guess so…" I agreed.
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The time on my wristwatch said it was 8:20 pm. I leaned against the tapered monument (aka 'the weird drill thing') at our meeting place in front of Kaihin‐ Makuhari Station1 . Opposite of me was the Hotel Royal Okura, where situated on the top floor was the bar called 'Angel Ladder.'
It was the final store in Chiba's central business district with 'angel' in its name that operated until the early hours in the morning. The name was written out twice: first with English letters and then in Japanese.
I adjusted my flimsy, uncomfortable jacket so that I could get used to it better. It was a beautiful jacket I'd borrowed without asking from my father's closet, but it still fit me well since we were around the same height. I wore jeans and a coloured shirt with a black stand‐up collar, along with a pair of long nose leather shoes. It wasn't the sort of stuff I wore every day.
Seriously, I couldn't stand these clothes. Everything besides the jeans was my dad's stuff. My hair was even gelled and everything, courtesy of Hikigaya Komachi. When I asked Komachi to pick out some grownup‐looking clothes for me, she somehow turned the whole house upside down in her quest to complete my outfit.
("Since you've got the eyes of a tired salaryman, big brother, your clothes and hair need to look like a grownup's as well," she insisted, which was troubling for me to hear. Were my eyes really that bad?)
The first one to appear at our meeting place was Totsuka Saika. "Sorry, were you waiting?"
"Nah, I just got here," I said.
Totsuka was dressed in sporty clothes that would have looked good on either sex. His loose‐fitting cargo pants were coupled with a somewhat tight‐fitting T‐shirt. He wore a thin kind of woollen hat that wouldn't warm anyone up and a pair of headphones hung around his neck. Every time he moved around in his basketball shoes, his wallet chain jingled and gave off a dull sheen.
It was the first time I'd ever seen Totsuka in plain clothes ‐ no wonder I stared at him vacantly. As I did so, Totsuka held on tightly to his woollen hat and hid his eyes in embarrassment for some reason.
"Oh, don't stare at me so much… d‐do I look weird?"
"N‐no, not at all! You, uh, look good."
This whole exchange sounded uncannily like something you might say on a date, but unfortunately, Totsuka and I were not in that kind of relationship.
Zaimokuza proved that just by showing his face.
Okay, so for some reason he was dressed in a monk's day clothes and he had a white towel wrapped around his head. Anyway, I ignored him.
"Hmm. This should be the meeting place… ooooh! If it isn't Hachiman!"
When you're pissed off by an annoying character, you couldn't help but comment on it. "What's with that outfit? Why do you have a towel wrapped around your head? You think you're a ramen chef?"
"Oho, good grief. Were you not the one who said to dress like a mature adult? As such, I chose to wear the monk's clothing and towel like a working man…"
…ah, so that was the idea. Man, now that he'd gone ahead and worn it there was nothing much I could do about it. He didn't have to go so overboard, but whatever.
At around the same time I came to that conclusion, I heard the sound of Yuigahama stomping into view. She looked around restlessly and took out her cell phone. Did she not realise we were right next to her?
"Yuigahama," I called out to her, causing her to stiffen in reaction. She looked back over her shoulder with fear written across her face. Seriously, she was just looking at us one second ago.
"H‐Hikki?! Oh, it's Hikki. For a moment there, I didn't recognise you… s‐some outfit, huh?"
"Quiet you. Don't laugh."
"I‐I'm not laughing at all! I was just, like, shocked at how different you are from normal…" She stared at me as she made noises of incredulity. Then she nodded knowingly. "Did Komachi‐chan pick those clothes out for you?"
"Yeah, you catch on quick."
"Just as I thought…" Yuigahama seemed to have grasped something. I had no idea what she had figured out.
She'd gone all fashion police on me for some reason, so I returned the favour and looked her over.
Yuigahama was wearing a tube top with a vinyl bra‐strap that covered only her right shoulder and slipped off her left. A heart‐shaped necklace hung around her neck like usual, which she probably had a liking for. She wore a denim jacket with short sleeves over her upper body.
Her black chino mini pants had a gold button on them, and she wore high mule shoes that clung to her ankles like vines. Whenever she walked, her anklets wobbled.
"Somehow, you don't look very grownup to me…"
"Huh?! What part?!" Yuigahama looked at her arms in a panic, and then at her legs. From all of those accessories, she did look like a female college student, I guess…
And with that, we were more or less all together. Just as I was thinking only one more person needed to show up, I heard a voice behind me.
"I apologise. Was I late?"
Her white summer dress stood out brilliantly in the pitch‐black darkness of the night. Looking down, I could see the outline of her thin, supple legs through her black leggings. Her small mule shoes were patently simple, fitting her feet like a glove. It looked very flattering. When she lifted her palm to check the time, the pink surface of her miniature wristwatch reflected against her white skin, standing out in its cuteness. I could see that the metal band wrapped around her slender, feminine wrist was made of silver.
"It's time."
Yukinoshita Yukino exuded the cool charm of an alpine flower blooming in the night.
"R‐right…" I couldn't muster any more words. I remembered how her appearance had overwhelmed me the first time I encountered her in the Service Club. Now if only her personality matched up…
"You the Mottainai Ghost?"
"That's ridiculous. The Mottainai Ghost does not exist," Yukinoshita denied me smoothly, gazing at all of us in turn.
"Hmph…" She pointed at each of us, starting with Zaimokuza. "That's inappropriate wear."
"Huh?"
"That's inappropriate wear."
"…eh?"
"That's inappropriate wear."
"What?"
"Your entire appearance is inappropriate."
"Hey…" For some reason she was judging us all. And for some reason, she judged me differently from the others…
"I told you all to come in formal clothing."
"I thought you said dress like an adult?"
"Where we are going, nobody will be dressed like that. The men have their ties done up and it's common sense to wear a jacket."
"I‐is that how it is…?" Totsuka asked.
Yukinoshita nodded in reply. "Plenty of reasonably well‐priced hotels and restaurants are like that. You'd do well to remember that."
"You sound like you know what you're talking about." It wasn't something an ordinary high school student would know about, that's for sure. About the only restaurants we went to were Bamiyan and Saize. The most high‐class restaurant we'd been to was Royal Host at best.
In any case, I was the only one among us wearing a jacket. Totsuka was in casual clothes, while Zaimokuza looked like a ramen chef.
"I‐is my outfit no good either?" Yuigahama asked to make sure. Yukinoshita looked somewhat ill at ease.
"In the case of a girl, your dress code isn't too bad… but if your escort were Hikigaya‐kun, you could afford to be a little stricter." I rustled my Hiromi Go‐like jacket to make my presence known, but Yukinoshita snickered. "Your clothing may make you seem harmless but your rotten eyes tell another story."
…were my eyes really that potent?
"I would rather not have to go through the effort of trying again after being rejected at the door the first time, so I suppose you might be better off changing clothes at my house, Yuigahama‐san."
"Whoa, you're letting me in your house?! I wanna go, I wanna go!" Yuigahama caught herself. "Oh, but won't I cause a bother at this hour?"
"That's nothing to worry about. I live by myself, you see."
"You're a capable woman?!" Yuigahama blinked in exaggerated surprise.
I had to wonder what was up with her assumptions. Did she think everyone who lives alone is a capable woman? But in Yukinoshita's case, I had to agree. Her cooking was insanely good and (more to the point) I couldn't imagine her living with someone else.
"Then let's get going, shall we? It's just over there." Yukinoshita looked up at the sky behind her.
The whole area was filled with high‐rise apartments well‐known for being particularly expensive. I didn't really watch television so I didn't know much, but I did recognise it as the setting in dramas or the occasional ad. (Random trivia: Kaihin‐Makuhari is often used as the backdrop in hero shows.)
Yukinoshita was peering at the faint orange light coming from a tremendously tall skyscraper. Interestingly enough, it appeared Yukinoshita lived in a room on one of the top floors. Whoa. Whoa. So this was how the bourgeois lived… somehow, I doubted even those sorts would let a high school girl live alone.
"Totsuka‐kun," she said, "I'm sorry to turn you down after you came all this way…"
"No, it's fine. It was kind of fun seeing you all out of your uniforms," Totsuka said with a grin. His sheer cuteness almost made me want to go home already. I didn't want to see him go.
"Okay, so while Yuigahama's changing, we'll have dinner. Contact me appropriately when you're done."
"Okay, sure thing!" Once the two girls separated from us, the three remaining boys fell silent, listening to the rumblings of their stomachs.
"So, what are we gonna eat?" Zaimokuza asked as he rubbed his stomach.
Totsuka and I looked at each other.
"Ramen," we said in unison.
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-WG