AN: Sam explains what happened to Jack during his blackout. After Hathor.

I'm not much for notes. Nothing against those who are, but I like my work to speak for itself or not at all. That said, to each their own, and I read your notes. :)

However, I felt like this one needed a justification. Stargate is new to me (less than 6 months), but I already know there are a lot of feelings around the Hathor episode. I actually don't despise it as much as some, but agree that there are some problems. That being said, there was too much delicious awkwardness to leave it alone. Also, sorry for the goofy chapter title, but I just love that line. It has nothing to do with the content. Also, Don Davis is the star of this episode.

Hathor had been allowed to escape. They had an opportunity to take her down, but now there was one more Goa'uld out there to threaten Earth. And Jack couldn't remember anything that had happened between first meeting her and popping out of the sarcophagus. Jack headed back to the locker room with Carter to contain any remnants of the larvae and collect what they could for Doc Fraiser to study.

"It's a shame that sarcophagus was destroyed. We really could have learned a lot from it." Of course, that would be Carter's perspective. Jack didn't mind. Maybe the team was a little geek-heavy, but she was right about one thing on the day they met. She hadn't let him down. She was well-rounded and capable, never relying solely on her brains.

"Carter, what was I doing in that thing anyway?" Jack had to know what happened in the chunk of time that was just a void in his head.

"Uhh, Hathor was trying to turn you into a Jaffa," Sam answered. This stopped Jack in his tracks.

"Jaffa? As in... shaved head, shiny tattoo on the forehead, Jaffa?" he asked. Sam stopped and faced him to explain.

"Assuming she made you her First Prime, then yes. Like that." Fortunately, the corridor was fairly deserted so no one who didn't have to know would hear the rest. Today, at least. It would be all over the base by next week.

"So that's why you were so fascinated with my..." he gestured towards his still exposed torso from neck to navel with the beginnings of a smirk on his lips and a bit of mischief in his eyes.

"Yes, Sir," she answered. "Not that there's anything wrong with..." she gestured awkwardly toward where the Goa'uld pouch had been, and then redirected her eyes to his face, though not as quickly as she would have liked to be proud of herself.

"But not quite miraculous?" Jack knew he should stop teasing. He could see her starting to blush and while he was enjoying himself, he guessed that the pinking in her cheeks meant that she was not.

"Well, for a man of your advanced years, I'd say it's close." The parry surprised him, and suddenly he was enjoying himself way more.

"Whoa there! Shots fired!" Jack returned. "A man of my advanced years?"

"Well, relatively speaking, Sir," Sam explained with a barely suppressed grin.

"Relative to what, Captain?" He was already sorry the moment he finished the question, but it was too late.

"Actually, relative to everything. All time is relative. According to Einstein's-"

"Ah, ah! Not right now, Captain. Another time, maybe," he admonished with a raised hand before he started moving toward the locker room with her following beside him.

"Yes, Sir. I'll pencil it in for next week," she grinned.

"So, when you say trying, how far along was the process? Exactly?" he winced.

"Just the incision. We fished you out of the tub before any of the larval Goa'uld could, uhh... claim you." Her grimace matched his, except that he shuddered a bit where she was still.

"Did you check? I mean, it couldn't still be in there all sealed up?" he asked placing a protective hand over his stomach.

"Doctor Fraiser checked."

"How, exactly?" he followed up.

Sam didn't answer verbally, just raised her hand with a little flourish and grasp toward his stomach.

"Ew."

"Oh yeah."

"I probably should have bought her dinner first," he lamented.