My People

I'm just going to zoot right past Omashu and Imprisoned for this chapter. They're great character episodes for Aang and Katara and don't need any additions to it. So, quick summary and then we're off to the Spirit World.

Chapter 4- Remembrance

remembrance (noun): the act or process of remembering, the state of being remembered. Something serving to celebrate or honor the memory of a person or even; a memorial.

They travel for several days, flying more or less from sun up to sun down, stopping several times for bathroom breaks, to eat lunch, and for Appa to graze. Aang insists that they make a stop at Omashu, and Tao decides it was probably best for him to stay behind with Appa. The city was swarming with Earth Kingdom soldiers, and while he had his more Earth Kingdom appropriate clothing now,the whole idea made him nervous. He takes the opportunity to forage for some food and medicinal herbs as well as get some quiet time in, leaning against Appa as they sat together in a patch of sun, trying to get his thoughts in order. So much had happened, it was hard to quantify the changes to his life and come to terms that it had been a hundred years since he had last seen home. He wondered what his home village looked like now. Was it even still there? He imagined it was, it was a port town, and had once been one of the main trading hubs between the Southern Water Tribe, the Southern Air Temple, and the Fire Nation. Though with the war and how long it had been raging, he had a feeling it was less a trade port now, and more of a military base for the Fire Nation's navy.

Regardless of the state of his home, one thing was for sure. His family was gone. He had no siblings. He had been his father's only son, and while Tao imagined that he had likely had more children after Tao had disappeared, and was probably glad to be rid of his disappointment of a son, he had no way of truly knowing.

He had never known what had happened to his mother.

Apparently, the stopover in Omashu had turned into quite the event. Tao had been mildly worried when no one had come back as night had fallen, but had decided to stay with Appa, and if no one showed up by that evening, he'd brave the city and go looking. Thankfully, he didn't have to. Just past noon on the following day, Aang, Katara, and Sokka come running up the ridge, and Aang is quick to regale Tao with the events of the day, seeming especially excited about the fact that his old friend Bumi was still alive, if very old, and the king of the fortress city, and Tao is happy for him that he had another piece of his past still around, and apparently just as crazy and mischievous as always.

Their next stop was at a small village near the coast in the foothills of a mountain range, where Katara is quick to befriend a young earthbender named Haru. This village was controlled by the Fire Nation, however, and anyone who was a known earthbender had been taken away. Tao was somewhat less tense in this village. Even with the horrors they had seen and heard about the Fire Nation committing, he felt comfortable, sort of, around people from his nation. He at least didn't have to worry about being attacked by them if he was caught firebending, which he was careful not to do anyway.

As seemed to be the trend though, disaster and chaos quickly ensued, and Haru is arrested when he's turned in for earthbending, by a man that he and Katara had saved together no less. Tao isn't super thrilled about her plan to help break him out of the floating prison, but there was no swaying her. She blamed herself, and she wasn't going to just leave him there to rot. Thankfully, luck, or the spirits, or whatever was on their side, and they end up winning the day, taking the prison, and freeing the earthbenders, who are eager to get back to the mainland and take their village back. The only casualty was Katara's mother's necklace, which had come off at some point during the fray on the prison platform. They couldn't go back and look for it though. It was likely destroyed or had fallen into the ocean. So for as much as it pained her, they had to move on.

oOo

"What a nightmare." Tao breathes as they slowly descend through the scorched threes, landing on the blackened, sooty ground. An enormous swath of forest was all charcoal, the landscape black and dead. There wasn't even any sound of birds or crickets or frogs as they get off Appa and take a look around. It was quickly clear what had happened here. Firebenders. This wasn't a natural forest fire that had just blazed out of control before going out on its own. This was a deliberate burn. Who knew why. Aang wasn't taking it well, but luckily, Katara is able to gather up some acorns and cheer him up with the hope that the forest would grow back. "You know, sometimes in the Fire Nation, there would be controlled burns in some parts of the forest. Its good for the soil, and the foliage that grows back over time always comes back healthier than before. I'm sure that isn't what happened here, but, this forest will thrive better than before after this." Tao hums, making Aang's smile widen even more as he looks around.

Their attention is diverted when a twig snapped several feet away, and they turn quickly, seeing an older man stepping out of the wreckage of the forest. He pleads for their help, well specifically the Avatar's help, and leads them back to his village. At first, the village leader is reluctant to divulge too much information, but he soon relents, telling them the story of what had been happening to this village, why it had so many damaged homes, and putting all his hopes on Aang. To his credit, even though he had no idea what he was doing, Aang vows to do his best to help them. Tao and Sokka weren't very happy about letting Aang just go out into the village and face this supposed angry spirit alone, especially since Aang didn't know how to deal with spirits at all. He hadn't exactly had any training in how to be an Avatar, on how to be the bridge between the Spirit World and the natural world. This could only end in disaster.

And it did.

Sokka and Tao had run out to help Aang and distract the spirit that does eventually appear, a huge black and white hulking, shrieking creature. Aang hadn't been making any headway with it, and was actually starting to end up in the line of fire for it when they run out to help him. Before they can do anything truly meaningful, both Sokka and Tao are snatched up in the spirit's smaller front arms, and it takes off at a sprint while Aang desperately chases after them to try and get them back. Aang doesn't quite reach them though, and just as his fingertips brush Sokka's, there's a blinding flash and Tao is suddenly falling.

He lands with a grunt on packed dirt, barely padded by a layer of leaves, groaning and sitting up as he rubs his head, looking around. This looked nothing like the charred forest or the village. The trees twisted oddly, even though they looked tree-like enough, and everything was washed in orange and mist. A strange sound, almost like a laugh but too animal-like to be anything human, makes him jump, and he gets to his feet quickly, trying to light a flame so he could see better. But nothing happens. Eyes going wide, he tries again, then again, then again, and still no fire comes out. He can still feel his chi coiling inside him like a hearth fire, warm and full as always, but he can't access it. His bending was just... gone. "Where am I..." he whispers to himself, spinning in a circle. He couldn't see Sokka or Aang, or even the black and white spirit. He was utterly alone.

Swallowing hard, he moves forward, hoping to find a clearing or some sort of water body, somewhere he could follow to find help, or somehow set up a signal for help. The terrain is uneven and utterly wild. It seemed like wherever he was, it hadn't been touched by human hands, likely ever. He can hear all kinds of unusual calls and cries all around him, and every hair on the back of his neck was standing on end. He felt watched, and the feeling wasn't unlike the nightmares that plagued him. Judging, hateful, blame filled eyes, hating him for taking the Avatar away, even though it wasn't his fault that they had been frozen for a century. But they hated him nonetheless. And then there was the hateful gaze of his father, glaring down at him with contempt and disgust, blaming him for everything.

Shaking his head to clear it, Tao takes a bracing breath. Now wasn't the time to wallow, even for as much as those thoughts were always so near the surface. Thoughts and feelings of being worthless, a burden, never good enough. Horrible impostor syndrome, always afraid of not measuring up, or saying something that would undermine how he presented himself. Of being weak when he tried to be strong. Of letting everyone around him down. Of getting his friends killed.

Stopping, Tao shakes his head harder this time, letting out a frustrated groan and pounding at his temples. "Stop it, Tao. Focus. Breathe and focus." he growls to himself. What was wrong with him. He usually had better control of his darker, more self-pitying thoughts and feelings. But right now they were surging to the surface unbidden. He couldn't deal with this right now. He didn't need to be paralyzed by his past in this moment. He had to find help, to find Aang and Sokka and get back to that spirits' cursed village and Katara. They would have to handle their plight on their own. Aang clearly wasn't equipped to deal with this caliber of angry spirit yet. Squashing his emotions down, he sets his jaw and forges ahead, ignoring the chattering of the wildlife around him, trying not to feel too vulnerable without his firebending and lacking any sort of defensive weapon. He does eventually pick up a fallen branch, just for a little bit of security.

He walks for what feels like hours, everything from his feet to his hips aching from clambering around the wild terrain. The babbling of a stream nearby makes him breathe a sigh of relief and he makes himself pick up the pace, stepping through the brush and falling to his knees beside the stream, splashing water on his face and then cupping some in his hands, drinking greedily, throat parched. Lowering his hands, he takes in his reflection, which he usually tried to avoid looking at for too long. He looked like his father. Typical Fire Nation features. Pale skin, lightly freckled across the bridge of his nose and his cheeks, high cheekbones, a strong jaw, and gold eyes. His nose was slightly crooked from being broken on a number of occasions, one dark eyebrow was split by an old scar, and then there was the burn scar. Tracing it from his right cheekbone, down across his right nostril, and along the left side of his mouth, he sighs, lowering his hand. It was an ugly thing, and a permanent reminder that he would never be good enough. No mater how bright blue his fire burned, no matter how far he could extend his range, he would never be good enough. He wasn't good enough for his father to not beat him. He hadn't been good enough for his mother to stay.

Rubbing his hands through his messy, short dark hair, he grimaces and slaps at his reflection, hating looking at himself, and sits back on his heels. When the ripples fade though, his eyes go wide. Instead of his own reflection looking back up at him, there were kind, blue eyes framed with dark lashes and brows, set in dark tan skin. His mother. As beautiful as the day Tao had last seen her, with all the same love in her eyes as she looked up at him from the water. Impulsively, he grabs at the reflection, his hands plunging wrist deep into the water and into the mud below, scattering the reflection. Before he can pull his hands back, regretting the impulsive action, something grabs his wrists and he's being yanked forward and into the water, which was suddenly much deeper than the few inches it had been before.

He's tumbling end over end through the water, somehow weightless, and suddenly he's landing on hard stone with a gasp and a grunt, air being driven from his lungs, sending him into a coughing fit. Opening his eyes in a squint, the sky is suddenly brighter, and for a moment he thinks that he's back in the village, only for that thought to be shattered when a foot connects with his ribs hard enough to send him skidding several feet away. Crying out, clutching his side, he notes for a fleeting moment that his voice seemed different, and as he turns and pushes himself to his hands and knees, he looks up. His eyes go wide with horror as he sees his father, that looming shadow, stalking towards him. He couldn't hear what he was saying, shouting, it was all fuzzy, but he recognized this scene. This was the day before his mother had disappeared. This was a memory.

Before the shadow can reach him, someone steps between him, robed in blue and red, dark hair spilling down her shoulders. His mother. He had been eight the last time he had seen her, the last time she had stood between him and his father, had calmed his rage, soothed his hate. Stopped a beating. The shadow of his father moves away, and his mother turns towards him, her blue eyes warm and full of love as she crouches down before him, saying something in muddled words, like she was speaking through water. But he remembered her soft, kind, soothing words, full of love and comfort. She reaches out, and as soon as her warm palm caresses his cheek, water rushes up around him and he's sitting up with a harsh gasp, everything suddenly dark.

Looking around in utter confusion, disoriented and reeling, Tao looks around, a cold trickle of dread creeping up his spine when his old bedroom comes into focus. Indistinct words were being shouted downstairs, his mother and father arguing again, the sound of pottery being shattered, furniture being kicked. Why had she stayed with him? Why hadn't she just gathered Tao up and taken him back to her home in one of the villages of the Southern Water Tribe? Intuitively, now that he was older, Tao knew why. His father had been a tradesman, with several ships under his command. He wasn't overly wealthy, but he had enough gold to throw around that no Water Tribe village would have been safe for them. Especially not the one that his mother had grown up in, one that Tao had only seen once when he was very small and didn't even remember the exact location of. But those questions of why had plagued him his entire life, especially after she had disappeared. Dark thoughts and questions of whether she was even alive or not also needled him. This was the night she had disappeared. Right after this argument, things had abruptly gone silent in the house, and Tao had hidden under his covers, terrified of his father's wrath over-spilling to him. The yelling continues for what feels like forever, and Tao flinches as there's a sudden particularly loud crash, accompanied by even louder yelling from his father, and when he opens his eyes back up again, he's not in his room anymore.

He's being dragged down and down through murky green water, pale, bony hands gripping his wrists, nearly clawed at the ends with jagged fingernails. The face of some sort of woman-fish hybrid grins up at him with needle-like fangs, pulling him deeper and deeper. His lungs burn and he struggles, which just makes her grip him harder. He was running out of air, and in a moment of desperation, he jerks his arms towards his chest and bites one of the woman's wrists as hard as he can. She shrieks at him through the water, but lets go, and with one last kick to her face, he paddles for the surface as quickly as he can, emerging with a gasp, dragging himself to the shore, coughing and choking on disgusting tasting water, now on the opposite side of the stream from where he had been. Moving back several feet, he turns, frowning when he sees that it was just the same six inch deep clear stream he had taken water from.

Shaking, he pushes a hand through his soaked hair and looks around, bewildered and terrified. Those memories had felt so real. His side still hurt from the kick from his father, and he could still feel the gentle caress of his mother's hand on his face, the same side where his scar started. Standing on weak legs, Tao coughs a few more times and wipes his face as best he can, moving further away from the stream, in case the fish-woman somehow came out of the shallow water, which had just been at least fifty feet deep. He was exhausted, body feeling weak and sluggish from miles of walking and from the sudden memories that had assaulted his mind. Had that woman done that? Some sort of way to keep him from fighting back until she could drown him? It was sinking in now that he wasn't in the material world anymore. The black and white spirit had taken him and Sokka into the Spirit World, and this was likely where all the other kidnapped villagers were too. But who knew how enormous the Spirit World was. Was it the same size as the material world? Bigger? Smaller? He hadn't seen or heard any sign of any human life in hours. It was an isolating feeling.

Wringing his clothes out as best he can, feeling cold and alone, Tao continues to move away from the stream, not trusting it at all. But he had to ignore his exhaustion and try and find a way out of here. Aang had no idea how to deal with spirits. So if he was going to get out of here, it was likely going to have to be on his own, which he didn't even know if it would be possible or not. He knew very little about the spirits and the Spirit World. His mother had taught him a few things, but his father had been more concerned with physical, material things, and had scoffed at her stories. His mother also used to tell him that his father had been sweet and kind once, and that she had fallen for him because of his good nature. Now, Tao was convinced that all that kindness had just been a front to lure her in because he had thought she was pretty. When she had turned up pregnant, he had likely only married her to preserve his reputation.

Growling to himself, he shoves those thoughts away, focusing on the path ahead, trying to stay alert, on edge from nearly drowning. Who knew how many other ways this place could kill him. Miles more go by before he has to stop, body aching and exhausted and he was hungry and thirsty as well. Sitting down against the broad trunk of a tree, between the high arches of a couple of its roots to try and feel more secure, he rests his head back against the bark, trying to think of a plan as his eyes slip closed.

"Well done, Tao. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, mummy!"

Tao's eyes snap open at the voices that he now hears, clear this time instead of muddled, and he looks around. He was back in the courtyard at his childhood home, but it was like looking through a bright fog as he sat on the ground. Brow furrowing, he turns towards where the voices had come from, and his breath catches. Several feet away was a small, five year old version of himself, and beside him was his mother, flowing through the katas for her waterbending, with his smaller self copying her with all the clumsy determination of a child of that age. But as he flowed through them, when he'd reach the end of one, he'd produce a tiny puff of red fire, and look up at her and give her a gap toothed smile, and she'd smile back with kindness and love.

Firebending had never come easy to him. Many of the katas for it had felt too stiff and rigid, not feeling right on his body. But when he practiced the waterbending katas with his mother, even though she was moving water and he was producing fire, it felt more natural. Over time, his bending had developed into a hybrid of water and firebending katas, using the push and pull of waterbending, and the force and will of firebending fairly seamlessly interchangeably. It made his style unique, and it was why he could never be a teacher for Aang. Sure, Aang was the Avatar, so he'd already likely be a waterbending master by the time he got around to learning fire, but Tao's style didn't translate well into being taught. He had learned through observation and through abuse. His father had never liked that he incorporated so much of what he had learned from his mother into his firebending, but at least he had never beaten that out of him. Many times, he had wished he was a waterbender. Maybe his life would be easier then.

"Try again, my dear. Remember, flow through the motions. Its a dance, not a march." his mother's voice says, drawing his attention away from his musings as he pushes himself to his feet, making his way over to the apparitions of the memory. He was taller than his mother now. He was a couple inches taller than Sokka was, making him the tallest of their group. She had always seemed like a towering beacon of love and protection to him though. And he still got that feeling, even having to tilt his head down a little to look at her fully. He remembered this day clearly. It was one of the few happy memories he held onto from his childhood. His father had been gone with one of his trade ships, leaving just the two of them at the house, and Tao had asked his mother to teach him some of her waterbending moves. He usually did when his father wasn't home. She had agreed with a soft smile and they had gone out to the courtyard and spent all day out there until they were too tired and hungry too continue. Or rather, until Tao started whining that he was hot and wanted some frozen fruit. He could still taste the frozen melon on his tongue, and he swallows back saliva, reminded of his own actual hunger as he watches the apparitions sit down on one of the benches in the shade of an overhang with their frozen fruit, also moving out of the hot sun, frazzled by how real all of this felt.

"Mummy, do you think if I train really, really hard, the spirits will make me a waterbender, instead of a firebender?" his tiny self's little voice asks, curious as well as a little sad. He had almost forgotten this part of the day. Usually he stopped thinking about this memory by the time it got to the fruit. His mother smiles at him consolingly, petting a soft hand through his ever messy hair.

"You were born a firebender, my little sun. That is what the spirits destined for you, and there is a purpose for it. Agni has blessed you, and you don't want to turn away the blessing of a spirit that powerful." his mother says gently, hand coming to a stop on the back of little Tao's head as he looks down, nibbling on his frozen melon slice.

"Then why is it so hard to firebend the way daddy teaches me... but so easy when I copy your waterbending?"

"I don't know the answer to that, Tao. You're unique and special, and if you keep training hard you're going to be a very strong firebender one day. I know it." she says, smile widening as the little version of himself looks up at her with a grin. Then she turns her head and looks up and over the courtyard, her blue eyes meeting Tao's where he was standing just inside the shade of the wide overhang. Something in her expression softens, and she opens her mouth to say something, but before she utters a word, Tao's body jerks and he sits up quickly.

A dream. It had been a dream. A very vivid, very real dream, just like the memories he had been pulled into. Burying his hands in his hair, Tao lets out an exhausted, frustrated groan. Memories and pain assaulting him on all sides. Was this what the Spirit world was really like? Just a place for his past to be thrown back in his face to hurt him all over again? He missed his mother so much it ached deep in his chest. She had always known how to console him when his father had hurt him or scolded him. And now he felt that he needed her more than ever. He had never felt so lost, stuck in a place, in a time, that was so alien to him. Even with Aang's familiar presence at his side, nothing was the same as it had been. Part of him was grateful that, remembering Sokka's strangely greatly comforting words, that the amount of time in the iceberg meant that his father was gone. He couldn't be hurt by him anymore. But now he was in a world where firebenders were the enemy of everyone, and also where if he were to fight back against other firebenders, they'd assume he was a traitor or defector, and then he'd be their enemy too. Zuko's words from the Southern Water Tribe village echo in his ears. "Who are you, traitor?"

Traitor.

Was that what he was now? He supposed, technically it was true. By helping Aang travel to find masters to teach him the various bending elements, he was going against the nation of his birth. But it wasn't his Fire Nation was some twisted, grotesque caricature of the country that he grew up in and loved, warped by decades of war, steeped in the blood of innocents, the greatest of all being the Air Nomads.

Ruffling his hands through his hair in frustration, Tao gets to his feet. He didn't know how long he had been asleep, but his feet weren't hurting anymore, and while he was hungry he felt somewhat rested. He had to get out of this place before the spiral of his memories drove him insane.

Taking a step forward, he stumbles when a stalk of bamboo catches his foot, appearing suddenly in front of him, and the color of everything around him shifts from washed in red, to the dark blue and black hues of night as he moves forward through the sudden appearance of the bamboo grove. Looking around in confusion, he sees other people stepping out of the grove with him, Sokka being the nearest. A shout of joy and excitement startles him, and he looks over as Katara envelopes her brother in a tight hug, before moving over to Tao, hugging him just as tightly, taking him off guard, though he does return it loosely.

He was... back in the material world.

Aang is the next to wrap him up in a hug, shaking a little with relief, and it takes a moment for Tao to get his mind in order, wrapping an arm around the little airbender. "Did you figure out the spirit thing?" he asks, hungry and thirsty, but focusing on his friend for now as Sokka runs off to go relieve himself.

Aang hesitates, stepping back with a small grimace. "Yeah. Avatar Roku's dragon brought me to an island where I can talk to Roku. He has some sort of important message for me. There's just one problem though." trailing off, Aang shuffles and squirms uncomfortably, Katara and Tao's eyes focused on him. "The island is in the Fire Nation. And I have to be there by the solstice tomorrow."