Chapter 15- Compromise
compromise (noun): a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions; something that combines qualities or elements of different things.
Tao eventually drifts off to sleep, though he sleeps rather lightly. He wakes to the distinct sound of firebending outside the shack, sitting up quickly. No one else seemed to have heard it, even Katara snoring softly. Glancing around, he notes in the dim light provided only by the setting moon since the fire had burned down, that Iroh was still in the same position he had been in when they had set him down, but Zuko was gone. Another hiss of flame outside and a flash of orange light gets his attention, and he gets to his feet, setting Momo on Aang's chest to curl back up, moving lightly so he didn't disturb Toph. Stepping outside, he sees Zuko's tall, dark shape moving against the still inky black of the sky, the only indication of his position being the blotting out of the stars behind him and the bright flare of his fire as he spun and punched and kicked, releasing a number of frustrations into the air. Tao couldn't blame him. His beloved uncle was badly injured, by his own sister no less, and now he was relying on those who he considered enemies to keep Iroh alive. It was a lot for anyone to take in.
Lighting a blue flame on his fingertips, both to make sure he didn't trip on a stone as he approached the cliff side Zuko was moving around on, and to show his presence to the other firebender, he slowly approaches. Zuko stops, the a scowl appearing on his face as his orange flames burn out, and he crosses his arms, facing out towards the cliff as Tao comes up beside him, making sure to stand on his right side. He wasn't sure how impaired or not Zuko's vision and hearing was on his scarred side. "What do you want?" the fire prince grits out through his teeth, sounding almost sulky.
"Honestly? Nothing. Well... maybe not nothing. I'd like to ask you some questions but... I won't make you answer them." Tao replies, voice a little raspy with sleep still. Letting the small blue flame go out, washing them both in pre-dawn darkness again, Tao mimics Zuko's posture, crossing his arms and looking out over the cliff. The darkness felt secure, like they could hide in it and not have to worry about seeing judgment or disdain in the others' eyes.
"What kind of questions?" Zuko huffs, but he sounded significantly less hostile than Tao had expected him to. He mostly just sounded... tired. Had he slept at all? How much sleep had he gotten in the last couple weeks? He had looked pretty rough in the evening light the day before, thinner, dirty, seeming to slump in on himself a little.
"Oh, nothing too important. Mostly just about why your sister seemed just as keen to kill you as she did us. What you're doing this deep into the Earth Kingdom. Why you have hair." Tao replies, trying for casual to hopefully break some of the tension starting to form between them.
"I don't see how any of that is your concern or business." Zuko mutters, almost sounding like a petulant child. He must feel the raised eyebrow and quiet stare that Tao directs at him though, because after a stretch of silence he huffs, scuffing his feet against the dirt, kicking a small stone over the cliff edge. "Uncle and I have been on the run from Azula since three weeks after we left the North Pole. She tried to trick us into boarding her ship. Her intention was to take us prisoner. I... should have listened to Uncle. He tried to warn me that what she said wasn't what I wanted it to be." Tao can hear Zuko swallow hard, turning his head and looking fully at the prince. Now that his eyes were adjusting to the moonlight, he could see the edges of the other's face, the bridge of his nose, the roundness of his cheek, the line of his jaw and chin highlighted silver by it. His eyes were hooded, and his head tilted down as he stared at the ground, seeming openly ashamed. The level of vulnerability he was being afforded was astounding. Maybe it was the dark, the false anonymity, or maybe Zuko was just that broken down at this point that he wasn't as worried about being guarded. "We've been heading steadily south since. Trying to stay away from the coast to avoid her ship. But now she's moving inland. Hunting."
Tao is quiet for a moment, deciding not to prod about the hair. He understood the reason behind it without Zuko needing to say anything. The Fire Nation nobility always wore long hair to show their status. The topknot was a status symbol just as much as their crowns were. The phoenix tail that Zuko had previously worn also had a meaning to it, and not a very positive one at that. To cut off the topknot was to essentially sever ties with the Fire Nation. He understood why he and Iroh had done it though, why Zuko had grown his hair out. They blended in better. Zuko just looked like another victim of the war, someone who had run afoul of a firebender and had been lucky to get away. "You seem... tired." he remarks.
Zuko huffs a little, unhappy at the observation and its implications. But all it takes is a quick glance over his shoulder at the shack for him to deflate, his arms tightening against his chest. "I am tired. I've seen so much in the last few weeks. Things that I had never given much thought to before." he says, voice noticeably heavy.
"About the war?"
The prince nods once, and Tao hears his feet shuffle, seeing his silver highlighted expression twist into one of confusion and deep sorrow. "Its all so confusing. What I've been told all my life and what I've seen are completely at odds with one another." straightening his back, Zuko sucks in a shaky breath, and Tao smells ash on it when he slowly releases it. "Children with their parents needlessly taken from them. Burned for good measure. A village decimated because all the young men are gone and all they have for protection is a pack of bullies. But when I tried to help... they hated me. Cast me away just like F-" Zuko stops himself, clearing his throat and shaking his head, rubbing his hands through his short hair. "Why am I telling you all this... we're enemies." he grits out.
Tao hums, thinking back on his conversations with Iroh when he had been a prisoner on Zuko's ship, barely not chuckling at the irony of this situation. "What if we didn't have to be?" he asks, holding his hands up as Zuko whips around to glare at him, a few sparks popping from his knuckles. "Easy. Look... you're already on the run from your sister and the Fire Nation. Considered a traitor yes? She's witnessed you fighting alongside the Avatar. Even if that was just coincidence. Why not make it not coincidence? You could do a lot of good with us."
"No. No no no. Absolutely not." Zuko snaps, taking a threatening step towards Tao, who to his credit manages to not flinch back on instinct. "I will not turn traitor against my country. I will have my honor, my throne, back. Don't think that just because I'm not trying to capture the Avatar-"
"Aang." Tao interjects, feeling Zuko let off a hot, impatient breath, hands clenched at his side.
"Shut up! I will capture the Avatar and restore my honor. As soon as Uncle is healed, he's mine. Do you understand?" he growls. Tao is quiet for a very, very long time. So long the sky was turning gray at the horizon and he can start to feel Agni's influence creeping into his chi. He and Zuko just stare at each other, cool gold eyes boring into hot, angry gold before Tao sighs, shaking his head.
"Why would you want to go back to a family that so obviously wants you dead? Your own sister tried to kill you yesterday. She very nearly succeeded, if the other's hadn't arrived as backup." he says, eyes traveling to Zuko's scar, a leathery, ugly thing, marring an otherwise handsome face. A huge brand, bigger than Tao's ever had been, even at its freshest. A mark of a father's hatred. "Your father did that to you. You don't have to tell me, I know he did. Just as my father did this to me." he says, gesturing at his own face, hearing and seeing Zuko's breath hitch as the prince straightens. Tao doesn't waver though, determined to remain steadfast as he hammered holes into Zuko's stubborn nature. Or at least did his very best to. "Why would you want to go back to such a hate filled place? Especially when you have your uncle who loves you. He told me you're a good person. I've seen that you've got good in you. You deserve more than your father and sister can offer you." he was one to talk. He couldn't guarantee himself if his father were to rise from the dead and ordered him to come to him, that he wouldn't. Obedience and devotion that was beaten into someone wasn't something easily overcome. Nor was the fleeting hope that maybe if he did well this time, hate would become love. Or at least a small flash of pride.
"You don't understand."
"Don't I?" Tao retorts, shaking himself from his thoughts and frowning at Zuko, who was shaking a little, eyes squinted, filled with echoes of pain as he fought memories, his scarred eye fully screwed shut at the memory of it. "A father who's never said he loves me or is proud of me, who sets impossible expectations, who's love is so conditional it may as well not exist? A father who abused and burned me, just for not being good enough? Sure Zuko, I don't understand how you feel when it comes to terrible family life. I ran from that life at the first opportunity, and it was the best decision I ever made." his voice was tart with sarcasm and bile as he narrows his eyes at the prince, who has enough shame in him to look away. "You aren't the only person in the world suffering. You know that. But I've at least found a support system to lean on. One I embrace. You have Iroh, who loves you unconditionally. You should rely on him more." softening his sharp tone, Tao goes quiet, taking in several deep breaths to settle himself and push down the dark memories, closing his eyes, counting back and then forward in his mind for a few turns and then opening them again.
Zuko is quiet, also trying to settle himself down, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, breathing raggedly, his shoulders hunched up by his ears. Slowly, he calms down, jaw clenched as he glared through narrow eyes at Tao. "Why do you care so much about what I do? After all I've done to you and your little group, hunting the Avatar, taking you and the waterbender captive, attacking you. Why all this?" he demands, taking a step closer to Tao, within arm's reach now. Tao could feel the heat radiating off the agitated boy, and it makes him a little nervous.
"Because... I feel like I'm looking into a mirror when I look at you. You've suffered in much the same way I have. I don't know your whole story, but I can come to enough of my own conclusions to know that your childhood wasn't a wholly happy one. No one is as angry as you are, as quick tempered as you are, if they grew up in a well balanced and happy family." sighing, Tao turns and faces the cliff again, hoping the break in their standoff would diffuse some of the tension. "And because I know I'm healing. Slowly but surely. Maybe I want that for you too... this pain? Constantly running from the shadow of a monster, fighting your own mind... its torture. Slow, razor sharp torture. No one, not even someone meant to be an enemy, deserves to feel what I feel, and what I'd bet Sokka's seal jerky you feel."
This seems to take the wind out of Zuko's sails a little, and even though Tao couldn't see much of him out of his periphery, he hears him let out a gusty, hot sigh, and hears him shift and turn again, hearing the rustle of fabric as the other crosses his arms again. "What would I even do, if I gave up on capturing the Avatar? Where would I go? There would be nothing but running and death." he nearly whispers, his voice getting caught up in the warm breeze coming up from the desert below them.
"I'd offer you a place on Appa's saddle but I have a feeling you'd deny that immediately. Besides, its not my place to offer. That's something you'd have to talk to Aang about." he hums, emphasizing Aang's name, hearing an irritated grunt from Zuko. But the air felt more settled now, and Tao allows himself a quiet chuckle. "Azula is terrifying, by the way."
Zuko actually lets out a bark of laughter at this, a sound Tao was happy to hear after coming so close to coming to blows with him. "You don't know the half of it. She'll have a special interest in you, as well, because you both bend blue fire. It'll be even more of an interest if you can bend lightning like her. I wouldn't let myself get captured by her, if I were you. Spirits know what she'd do to you."
"Why Zuko, it almost sounds like you're concerned for my safety." Tao gasps dramatically, facing Zuko as the gray dawn light fully lights them both, a cool yellow starting to creep up the horizon, the clouds in the far distance highlighted orange at their edges. Zuko scoffs, and Tao chuckles. "She's already shown a lot of interest in me. The way she smiles whenever she spots me is... unnerving. Like she'd like to take me apart and see how I tick inside. Though I'm not sure who scares me more. Her, or her knife flinging friend with the buns."
"Mai?" Zuko asks, sounding surprised.
"Is that her name? Her father is the new governor of Omashu. Her and some chi blocker are traveling with your sister."
"Her name is Ty Lee. Her and Mai have been Azula's... well... I don't know if 'friend' is the right word but... friends since we were little. They're all formidable."
"Oh I know, trust me. I almost burned my throat out on my first encounter with Ty Lee. She blocked my bending and I panicked and bent fire through my mouth. It blistered up the inside of my mouth and down my throat because of the heat. I've never had someone make me panic like that in combat. At least... not since coming out of the ice with Aang." sighing, Tao absently rubs at his throat. Some days his voice was still a little ragged and his throat ached but it wasn't anything that wouldn't heal on its own. He didn't need to bother Katara about a small sore throat. "Oh, and, no. I can't bend lightning. My father never got the chance to teach me."
Zuko grunts at this, examining the desert below them as it was washed orange with the rising sun, seeming to sink deep into thought, his brow deeply furrowed. "What did your friend, the Water Tribe boy, mean last night about 'fraternizing with the enemy?" he finally asks, and Tao chokes on his spit, coughing and spluttering a little, looking wide eyed over at Zuko as his face burns bright red.
"You-... you heard all that?" he rasps, coughing a couple more times as Zuko shrugs.
"Not everything. My hearing isn't... great in my burned ear."
"Oh... well... uh... it- it was nothing. Really. He was just teasing me. He likes to do that. He's... kind of like an annoying brother that way." Tao stammers with a nervous laugh, sure he wasn't being very convincing. The raised eyebrow and skeptical stare he gets tells him that much. At least now, though, he didn't have to ask about Zuko's burned eye and ear anymore.
"If I understood correctly... you do realize that those sorts of... 'relations' are illegal in the Fire Nation, right?"
Sighing heavily, Tao nods. "Yeah. I was around during Fire Lord Sozin's time, remember? Technically one hundred and sixteen here. He made that law about ten years before I was born. There were still people who were unhappy about it on the island I lived on." shaking his head, he folds his arms across his chest, trying to relax. "Its not like it matters anyway. War is no time to be chasing those sorts of... hopeless thoughts." after all, he had a track record of finding himself drawn to people who would hurt him or leave him. First Jet, though he firmly knew that was a purely physical attraction. He had found Yue beautiful, though he hadn't given any energy or thought beyond that, especially when Sokka showed so much interest in her. And he had warred with himself over Zuko for months now. They were enemies, and would probably remain enemies until the end of the war. And Zuko was right, relationships between people of the same sex was outlawed in the Fire Nation. He knew that, at least a hundred years ago, the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes didn't have such laws. Snorting, his tone becomes a little tart when he speaks again, covering embarrassment with sarcasm. "I'm surprised you're not repulsed. Your whole thing is honor and following the will of the Fire Nation and Fire Lord after all."
Again, Zuko goes quiet, seeming shockingly contemplative. Much more than Tao would have ever expected him to be. "We're not in the Fire Nation. But we are enemies." he says simply before turning and making his way back into the shack, leaving Tao standing at the cliff edge, a little breathless and wide eyed, wondering what exactly he meant by that. Was it as simple as that statement? Or was there more to it? Not that it would do his mental well being any good to ponder it.
He remains rooted in place for about ten minutes, watching the sun come up, trying to calm himself down and convince himself there was nothing to Zuko's statement. Giving himself a final shake, he heads back into the shack, seeing that everyone was starting to wake up. Katara was already sitting by Iroh, her hands softly glowing with her healing waters. Toph was picking some dirt from between her toes, and Zuko was sitting near Iroh's feet, watching Katara closely but making sure to stay out of her way. Aang and Sokka were the last to start shifting around as Tao goes through their bag of food to get some breakfast put together since Katara was busy, starting up the campfire again and starting to cobble something together. It was easy to sink deep into thought as he focused on the food, mind wandering to dangerous places that it had no business going to, and he doesn't even notice that he was being spoken to. "-ao? Tao?"
"Hey Sparky! Wake up!" Toph's much louder voice finally startles him out of his thoughts, the campfire flaring a little as he bodily jolts, giving himself a shake.
"Huh?" he says intelligently, blinking a few times at the two girls, Katara giving him a concerned frown.
"You alright? Zuko didn't do anything to you while you two were outside did he?" she asks, casting the prince a suspicious look, who had the sense to not speak, but he does roll his eyes.
"What? No- no we just talked. I was just deep in thought. Sorry... did you need something?" Tao replies, shaking his head. Katara looked dubious but she sighs, holding out an empty bucket to him.
"Aang and Sokka went to forage for herbs and food. Could you go to the well out back and fill this up for me? This wound is looking better, but it still needs a lot of work. The fresher water I have the better."
Nodding, Tao stands and takes the bucket from her, heading out the door. He wasn't worried about Zuko trying anything. As long as Iroh was indisposed and Katara was healing him, Zuko wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his uncle's health. Even if he did, Katara and Toph together were more than a match for him, especially in the thin, tired state he was in. When he pulls the bucket of water up, he takes the opportunity to use some of it to rub the cool water on his face and the back of his neck, chastising himself for his wandering mind. He was just going to end up hurting himself if he entertained these treacherous thoughts concerning Zuko too much. Even if Zuko did have any proclivities towards other boys, they were enemies. But even if Zuko did by some miracle swap sides after this kindness they were showing him and Iroh, he was still a prince. Should he ever be able to go back to his country and claim his throne, however that wound up happening, there were laws that would always keep them apart. And besides that, Zuko would have to keep certain appearances up and fulfill certain duties. Like an heir. Hard to have an heir with another man.
Sighing raggedly, Tao drinks some of the cool water, rubbing some more on the back of his neck and dumps it, pulling up another bucket, steeling himself against more daydreams and wandering thoughts. No sense in chasing rabbaroos. Heading back into the shack, he sets the bucket down by Katara and kneels beside her, tilting his head. "How's he doing? I'm surprised he's still unconscious." he murmurs. He was worried, but he knew Zuko was even more worried but too prideful to ask the Water Tribe girl how his uncle was. Katara hums, pulling some of the clean water out of the bucket and forming it around the wound.
"Azula barely missed his heart. This burn went deep into his skin and muscle, nearly to the bone. Even once I heal it to a good point, where he wouldn't have to worry about infection and would be able to use the arm again, it'll still hurt him for a couple weeks." she murmurs, focused on her task. "Even if she didn't intend to kill him, she nearly did anyway."
Nodding, Tao spares a glance at Zuko, seeing him listening intently, and then he t urns his attention back to Katara. "Any idea when he might wake up?"
"Hopefully by noon. I can feel that he's getting stronger already, so it shouldn't be long."
"Good. I'm glad to hear that."
oOo
Lunch was almost ready when Iroh lets out a groan and slowly opens his eyes. Zuko was at his side before anyone else could move, helping the older man slowly sit up, his usually anger twisted expression instead filled with concern. "You were unconscious." he explains when Iroh looks at him with questions in his eyes. "Azula did this. It was a surprise attack."
"Somehow that's not so surprising." Iroh remarks, voice a little raspy as he sits back against the wall of the shack. Zuko hands him a steaming cup of tea he had brewed up and sits back, examining his uncle closely as he takes a drink. Tao barely holds in a snort when Iroh's expression twists at the probably very bitter taste of the tea, but to his credit, he gets it down. When Zuko refills his cup though, he tosses it out the window behind him when the prince wasn't looking. Thankfully, the others who did see him do it, didn't comment. It was about then that Iroh notices the company they had, and he gives them all a soft smile. "Well isn't this a pleasant surprise. Hello, everyone. I am sorry to have been such a burden on you."
"You're not a burden at all. You were hurt really bad, we couldn't just leave after seeing it happen." Aang says, sitting up a little straighter between Toph and Katara by the campfire as Katara finished up lunch. "Katara's been healing you, but your wound is still pretty bad."
"It might take another day of healing sessions to get it to a good place." Katara continues for Aang, seeming almost apologetic. Iroh just smiles gently at her, chuckling softly.
"I appreciate it. I've always marveled at the healing abilities of waterbenders. Its an honor to get to experience it for myself, though I do wish it wasn't under quite such dire circumstances." he surveys the group, spotting Toph quickly and his smile widens a little. "Its good to see you again young lady. I take it that you're one of the Avatar's new friends."
Toph doesn't seem to have any trouble realizing that it was her that was being addressed and she grins widely at Iroh. "Yeah. Thank you again, for your advice. I don't think I'd have gone back to this group of dunderheads if I hadn't knocked you down." she says, which gets Sokka's attention quickly.
"Wait- you already met him?" he asks, eyes wide as he stares between Iroh and Toph. Before Toph can answer though, Iroh's eyes land on Tao, who sits up a little straighter out of reflex, even though the man's expression was nothing but friendly.
"Its good to see you again, young master Tao. We didn't get a chance to speak at the North Pole but, how is your shoulder?"
"Oh... its fine. Thank you. Between Katara and the medicine you and Zuko had on your ship, its just a scar now. Doesn't give me trouble at all." he says, shocked at the concern.
Zuko finally lets out an impatient huff, scowling at the group around the campfire and then turning his attention back to Iroh. "Enough. Uncle, I've been thinking." he says, seeming to be pretending that it was just the two of them. "Its only a matter of time before I run into Azula again. I'm going to need to know more advanced firebending if I'm going to stand a chance against her. I know what you're thinking. She's my sister and I should be trying to get along with her."
"No." Iroh says, shaking his head. "She's crazy and she needs to go down." pushing himself to sit up with a deep grimace and a grunt of pain, ignoring Katara telling him to stay sitting down, Iroh gets to his feet, only briefly rubbing at his bandaged shoulder, giving Zuko a solemn look. "Its time to resume your training." then his eyes travel to Tao, sitting on him for a moment before the smallest of smiles curls onto his lips. "I believe you would benefit from this as well, Tao."
"What!" Tao and Zuko shout at the same time, Zuko leaping to his feet from the force of his protest. "Uncle you can't be serious. He's an enemy! He doesn't need to be taught anything."
"Prince Zuko." Iroh says simply, sobering Zuko quickly. "Azula is not only targeting us, but the Avatar and his friends as well. Tao is a firebender, and he could benefit from what I am going to teach you. It will allow him to defend himself against Azula, and therefore defend the Avatar."
"Uh... you can just call me Aang. Please." Aang cuts in, wincing a little under the eyes that all turn to him, squirming uncomfortably in place.
"Of course. Aang." Iroh states, giving a calm smile to the young boy before turning his attention back to Zuko. "Even if you choose to continue to see them as enemies, they have helped us greatly. It is only fair and honorable of us to help them in return."
The wind seems to go out of Zuko at this, his shoulders slumping. He gives Tao a sullen look that was barely not a pout, and then turns back to Iroh. "Fine."
"Mister Iroh, you really shouldn't move around too much. Your wound isn't fully healed." Katara interjects, her brow knitted with worry and a little suspicion. Iroh simply shakes his head.
"I promise, I will not be doing anything that would aggravate the wound further. I will mostly be giving instruction. It will be up to Prince Zuko and Tao to do all the work from there." this seems to quell some of Katara's worry, and she settles more comfortably on her knees with a nod.
"Alright. But first you should eat. Tao and... Zuko should too, if they're going to be training." she says, spooning some lunch into some bowls, starting to pass it around. Zuko thankfully doesn't try to resist the food like he had the night before, and a little less so at breakfast, taking the bowl from her outstretched hand and settling down with Iroh to eat. Once their bowls are cleaned, the three firebenders head outside, and Tao was very aware of the rest of the group deciding to gather around by where Appa was lounging to talk about plans and watch. But mostly watch. Tao could only hope he didn't get stage fright.
Once Tao and Zuko are standing beside each other, Iroh faces them, his expression calm but serious. "Lightning is a pure expression of firebending. Without aggression. It is not fueled by rage or emotion like other firebending is. Some call it the cold blooded fire. It is precise and deadly, like Azula. To perform the technique, requires peace of mind." he says, bringing Tao back to what he had told his friends about lightning. Cold blooded. Swallowing hard, he listens intently to Iroh as he continues. "There is energy all around us. The energy is both Yin, and Yang. Positive energy, and negative energy. Only a select few firebenders can separate these two energies. This creates an imbalance. The energy wants to restore balance, and in the moment the positive energy and negative energy come crashing back together, you provide a release, and create lightning." motioning for the two teens to step back, Iroh centers his stance, drawing his hands around in wide arcs, two fingers pressed together and pointed outward. And as he moves, crackling energy forms off his fingertips, following his motions, and as the crackling grows to its loudest crescendo, Iroh thrusts one arm out and releases it, creating a flashing arc of lightning. Tao lets out a calming breath, but Zuko for his part looked excited.
"I'm ready to try it!" he declares.
Iroh relaxes his stance, rubbing his shoulder a little and looking at his nephew and Tao. "Remember, once you separate the energy, you do not command it. You are simply its humble guide. Breathe first."
Zuko takes in a deep breath, and Tao moves away from him just in case things went awry. As the other teen moves through the form to separate the energy, Tao doesn't see any visible energy in the air like he had with Iroh, nor does he hear any crackling. And as Zuko thrusts his arm forward with an aggressive shout, Tao throws his arms up to shield his face as a large explosion bursts off Zuko's fingertips, throwing him back and washing Tao in smoke, making him cough, trying to wave the cloud away. Tao watches Iroh carefully, expecting him to start shouting, to handle Zuko roughly and call him a failure or a disgrace. That was what his own experiences training were. Merciless unforgiveness of mistakes and a demand for perfection. But Iroh just shakes his head. Then he looks at Tao and gives him a nod for him to give it a try.
Swallowing hard, Tao takes the place Zuko had been standing in as the smoke clears, closing his eyes and breathing deeply, doing his best to settle his mind and his chi, stoking it gently with his breath. Then he widens his stance, drawing his arms and fingers in the same motions Iroh and Zuko had done, feeling the energies roiling inside him and in the air around him. He hears a faint crackle, opening his eyes and seeing the barest of sparks popping off his fingers, which gives him a bit of hope maybe this would work. When he feels the energies separate fully, he thrusts his arm out, releasing them. There's a pop, pop, a couple sparks bursting from his fingertips and then a deafening boom as an explosion about the size of Zuko's explodes from his fingertips, nearly throwing him on top of Zuko, who was still trying to pick himself up off the ground. Holding his wrist, his hand aching from the concussive force, Tao keep his head bowed, expecting a blow or a scathing word.
But instead, Iroh calmly steps in front of them, his voice just as calm and instructive as it had been at the start. "Remember, this form requires peace of mind. If you are in conflict with yourself, it will not work. Now, both of you, calm yourselves, get up, and try again." he says, offering his good arm to Zuko and then to Tao to get them on their feet. They take places about twenty feet apart so they didn't blow each other up, and Zuko immediately throws himself back into the form while Tao stands with his eyes closed, his hands by his side as he tries to calm his mind, to shut everything off so he could get this right. There's another explosion beside him, and he opens his eyes, seeing Zuko on his back again.
Taking a deep breath in, Tao falls back into the form and motions, feeling the energies inside him, pulling them apart, more sparks and crackles appearing at his fingertips as he moves them, the hairs on his arms standing on end from the static, but again when the energies separate and he thrusts out his arm to release it, he gets a couple pops, some sparks, and an explosion, throwing him back against a rock, knocking the wind out of him. Grimacing, he uses the rock to stand again, wheezing a little and straightening his aching back. He had to get this. Iroh was being kind enough to teach this to him, he couldn't waste this opportunity.
Zuko nearly blows himself up two more times before Tao tries for a third time, with similar results. He knew why this kept happening. He was afraid, too used to the way his father trained him. Usually by now he'd have been hit or threatened with fire at least twice. But Iroh was just watching calmly out of the way as the two teens drilled the technique. It was unnerving to Tao, and that was creating turmoil within his mind and emotions. As long as that turmoil existed, he wouldn't be able to properly generate the lightning. He didn't know exactly what was causing Zuko to have problems, though he could guess. He hadn't been joking when he told Zuko he felt like he was looking in a mirror when he looked at him. Zuko was just more expressive about the anger, frustration, and other negative emotions he experienced. They were always written clearly across his face and in his eyes.
They drill the lightning form for two hours before Zuko finally gets frustrated enough to speak up after getting blown back yet again, Tao also still on the ground from his own explosion, covered in soot, panting with the exertion. "Why can't I get it! Instead of lightning it just explodes in my face. Like everything always does." this final comment makes Tao look over at him, seeing the clench to his jaw, the frustration and... sadness in his expression as Iroh moves towards them from where he had taken a seat.
"I was afraid this might happen. You will not be able to master lightning until you have dealt with the turmoil inside you."
"What turmoil!" Zuko protests, though he seems to realize the irony of that outburst at the same time Tao does as he walks over to listen to what Iroh had to say.
"Zuko, you must let go of your feelings of shame, if you want your anger to go away."
"But I don't feel any shame as all, I'm as proud as ever."
"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame." Tao doesn't hear what Zuko says in response to this, bowing his head a little to truly chew on it. He wouldn't call himself prideful, but he would say that he had quite a bit of shame over his past, the way he was raised, the way his father had treated him. It was hard to let go of. Some days it felt impossible. Even if his thoughts weren't constantly on what he had been through like they had been in the past, that didn't mean those internal wounds weren't still there. Perhaps smaller than before, but still there. "Young master Tao. I do not know all of what you have been through. You have divulged very little to me when we have spoken. But I do know this... the longer you pick at a scab, the deeper the scar will be. You must leave the wounds of your past in the past, if you ever hope to heal."
"I... I understand..." Tao breathes, letting out a gusty sigh, rubbing at a sore spot on his arm.
"I have another idea." Iroh continues, making Tao and Zuko both look up at him. "I will teach you a firebending move that even Azula doesn't know, because I made it up myself." Zuko actually smiles at this, and Tao can't help but perk up a bit as well, exchanging a look with the prince that was actually excited, their status as enemies temporarily forgotten in the excitement of training and learning new techniques. And even for as on edge as Tao was, still waiting for the 'gotcha' moment where he got hit or shouted at, he was enjoying this.
Katara at this point insists that they take a break so she can do some more healing on Iroh's shoulder, also wanting to look Tao over for as much as he had been thrown around and had explosions go off in his face. When he protests, insisting he was fine, she wasn't having any of it, putting her small hands on his shoulders and pushing him to sit down. Which was quite the feat considering he stood as tall as Zuko, quite a bit taller than her. She also almost takes his shirt off for him so she can check for bruises and scrapes, lightly thumping him on the head as he half heartedly resists and protests. Zuko looked mystified, watching the two of them as Katara tends to a couple small scrapes and burns on his back and hands, which she frowns at.
"What? Have something to say?" she asks sharply, to which Zuko frowns.
"Not really. I'm just surprised at the amount of concern." he remarks, crossing his arms as Katara lets out a rather unladylike snort.
"Well he is like a brother to me. Of course I'm going to take care of him, just like I take care of Sokka when that knucklehead gets himself hurt." she says plainly, taking Tao by surprise. He hadn't realized that she thought that deeply of him. Sure he thought of her as a little sister, but they had never put a voice to those sorts of deep emotions before. They were all like family to him. Aang and Katara like younger siblings he had to look after, Sokka like a brother of a similar age he could just... be a boy with. Even Toph, after only a few days, was creating a pretty concrete spot for herself in his heart.
"My sister would have never taken care of me like that." Zuko says, like the idea of siblings taking care of each other confused him. Considering the relationship between him and Azula he had seen so far, he wasn't surprised. He could only imagine the torment that he went through when he had still lived with her in the palace. And he could bet with certainty that she did all the tormenting. For all his fire and bluster, Zuko seemed like he'd be a caring and loving older brother, if only he were given a chance. He had seen his gentleness for himself, in quick snatches of light hands tending to a deep wound, or a strong hand helping him off the deck of a ship.
"Well your sister is kind of a psycho, so I'm not surprised." Sokka remarks, wandering over with some jerky, offering a piece to Tao, something that Tao had come to realize was a sort of love language for Sokka. If he shared food with you, he liked you. "Normal siblings look out for each other, whether they're blood or not. We're like a family in this group, so we take care of one another, especially when jerkbenders like you are chasing after us."
Groaning, Tao kicks Sokka's shin lightly, scowling up at him. "Stop. Let's not provoke a fight right now, alright?" he states, getting a shrug from the other teen. Aang flits over at that point, plopping down in front of Tao as Katara finishes mending a bruise on his back from being thrown into the rock a few times, finally giving him his shirt back as he munches on the jerky.
"Well you still have your eyebrows. Its been really cool watching you practice this move." the airbender says with a wide grin. "You think you'll be able to figure it out? You always make a few sparks every time."
"I hope so. I'll keep practicing on it, even after we go our separate ways from Iroh and Zuko. I'll have to. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of Azula, not by a long shot." he replies, noticing that Zuko frowns deeply at the idea of Aang getting away from him. As long as his uncle was injured though, Tao doubted he'd try and chase after him too hard. If at all.
Once they've all had a break and Katara triple checks Iroh's wound, though Tao notices that she doesn't even ask to tend to Zuko's scrapes and bruises like she had with Tao, not that he thought Zuko would allow it to begin with, Iroh gathers the two firebending teens together and finds himself a long stick to draw in the dirt with, not moving them away from the group this time. Whatever he had to teach them now must not have involved bending. "Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want." he says, drawing the symbol of the Fire Nation in the dirt. What really makes Tao, and the rest of the group pay attention though, was when he immediately moves on and starts drawing the Earth Kingdom symbol right above it. "Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong, they are persistent and enduring." he says, and Tao notices Toph grin out of the corner of his eye, sure she could feel him drawing in the dirt as well as she could hear the man speaking. "Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns, and found peace in freedom. Also they apparently had pretty good senses of humor." he remarks, grinning broadly. Aang giggles at this, getting a returning chuckle from Iroh. "Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything."
Katara and Sokka exchange a look at this, their expressions soft, and full of love. Tao was surprised to get this sort of lesson from Iroh, and he was curious about where it was leading. So, too, was Zuko. "Why are you telling us these things?" he asks. Tao imagined it was strange, after a lifetime of being taught firebending and Fire Nation supremacy through war propaganda and being a prince of the nation responsible for the war being waged on the world.
"It is important to draw wisdom from many places. If you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale." Iroh replies, drawing lines between the four symbols in the dirt. "Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations, will help you become whole."
"All this four elements talk is sounding like Avatar stuff." Zuko says, cutting a look over to Aang, who sits up a little straighter, and was paying perhaps more attention than Tao and Zuko were at this point.
"It is the combination of the four elements in one person that makes the Avatar so powerful." Iroh says with a nod towards Aang. "But it can make you more powerful too. You see the technique I am about to teach you is one I learned from studying the waterbenders." Tao blinks at this, openly shocked, and Iroh chuckles. "You, Tao, already have some experience in waterbending kata. You incorporate almost more waterbending moves than firebending ones in your bending. This new technique may come very naturally to you. Come, stand up you two."
The pair stand and follow Iroh a little closer to the cliff, nearly shoulder to shoulder in their eagerness to learn this new technique, and Tao notes that Katara and Aang were both watching with rapt attention as well, curious what a firebender like Iroh could have gotten from watching waterbenders. "What would you like us to do?" Tao asks.
"Turn and face each other. Hands up, now move against each other, like you're pushing and pulling on a water stream." Iroh replies, adjusting their stances as Zuko and Tao face each other, resting their wrists against each other's, starting to move in small circles like they were in fact waterbenders. It came smoothly and naturally to Tao, but he could feel the stiffness in Zuko's movements. It only takes him a few repetitions though to relax into it as they moved together in a push and pull, and the air warms around them as their chi moves naturally between them with their movements. "Waterbenders deal with the flow of energy. A waterbender lets their defense become their offense, turning their opponent's energy against them. Tao has already discovered this on his own with his firebending, using his chi to push and pull on another firebender's fire. But it can go further. I have discovered a way to do this with lightning."
This makes both of them stop, not moving away from one another, but looking at Iroh with wide eyes. "You can teach us to redirect lightning?" Zuko asks, audibly and visibly excited as his uncle nods.
"If you let the energy in your own body flow, the lightning will follow it. You must create a pathway with your fingertips. Up your arm to your shoulder, then down into your stomach. The stomach is the source of energy in your body. It is called the sea of chi. Only in my case it is more like a vast ocean." Iroh laughs, and Tao hears a few laughs from behind him as well. Apparently they were being more closely listened to now, Iroh's instruction fascinating to everyone. "From the stomach, you direct it up again and out the other arm. The stomach detour is critical. You must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly. You may wish to try a physical motion, to get a feel for the pathway's flow. Like this." demonstrating the motion a few times, Tao and Zuko both fall into it as well, moving in sync as the sun sets on the horizon. "Now, are you focusing your energy? Can you feel your own chi flowing in, down, up, and out?"
"I think so." Zuko says softly, fully focused on what he was doing.
"Yes, I do." Tao says as well, engrossed in this training just as much. Iroh has them repeat the motion over and over again, until he was absolutely sure they were tuned in to the flow of energy within their own bodies. When he was satisfied, the sun almost fully down and thick storm clouds gathering overhead, he gives them a broad smile.
"Excellent! You've got it." he praises, and Tao can't help but feel warm at the sound of it, and how genuine Iroh was with it.
"Great! I'm ready to try it with real lightning." Zuko says, clearly excited.
"What are you crazy? Lightning is very dangerous." Iroh replies, brow furrowing, and Tao was glad he hadn't spoken up, because he had had the very same thought as Zuko.
"I thought that was the point, you teaching us how to protect ourselves from it."
"Yeah but I'm not going to shoot lightning at you!" Iroh says, horrified and wide eyed before turning around. "If you are lucky you will never have to use this technique at all."
Zuko, though, was not satisfied with this, looking at the rolling storm clouds as there's a faint rumble in the distance. He sets his jaw, swallowing hard. "Well if you won't help me, I'll find my own lightning." he declares, stomping away and going over to where their ostrich-horse was tied up, swinging himself onto it and giving its side a kick, taking off down the cliff side and heading right towards the storm.
"He'll be alright... right?" Tao asks as Iroh lets out a gusty sigh, frowning as Zuko disappears over the curve of the hill.
"He will. I hope. There is much turmoil inside my nephew. I can only pray that he is able to find the proper path for himself, and find healing. You as well, Tao. Both of you deserve healing."
Tao flushes at this, but before he can reply, Aang comes up beside him. "We should probably leave, now that Zuko isn't here to try and stop us. Will you be alright on your own?"
Iroh smiles at this, nodding. "I will be fine, Ava- sorry, Aang. I thank you all again for your help. It has been an honor to share this time with you all, even if the peace was temporary. Perhaps we will meet again, under equally peaceful circumstances. Until then though, travel safely."
Aang nods, hurrying back over to the rest of the group to help them get packed up and get Appa's saddle on him. Tao meanwhile stays by Iroh, facing him and giving him a traditional Fire Nation bow, bowing deeply to show the level of his respect. "Thank you, Iroh, for your instruction. I'll keep training on this. I won't let you down." he says. He jumps a little when a wide, warm hand rests heavily on his shoulder, looking up and is taken aback by the warm, almost loving look on Iroh's face.
"I know you won't. You are an excellent firebender. I believe that you have the makings of a master singular in your craft. You are also a good young man, who I can see cares deeply for those around you. Take care of your friends. With what is coming, they will need your support." Iroh says, and Tao's face burns. He doesn't know what to say, so he just nods, swallowing hard. "Take care, my boy. I look forward to meeting you again."
Tao nods, bowing again to Iroh before turning and hurrying over to the others, helping them finish loading Appa up, making sure to leave a pouch of herbs for Iroh to continue treating his shoulder, and then they're in the sky, heading northwest to look for a place for Aang to begin his earthbending training. Tao's mind though, was on Zuko, and the thunderstorm that he chased.