Chapter 2: Is this goodbye?

While most people tend to say before I knew it, 4 years passed by, this was not the case for me. I was painstakingly aware of how long it took for time to pass. To my dismay, I had to share a bedroom with Hikari. And yes, I called her by her new name because saying her old name made me feel like I was still holding onto the past. Thankfully, after a couple of days, our parents decided she needed a more luxurious room, so she moved out and Sasuke moved in. Really showed how much they cared about their other kids. But it was fine, I honestly wanted them to favor her. It took attention away from me, and she was kept busy. Unfortunately, just because I changed lives, it didn't mean my depression went away. I still barely ate, and it felt like I would collapse any second. Sasuke was by my side through it all. He held my hair back when I vomited, he gave me tissues when I cried, and slept with me when I needed comfort. Hikari however… she seemed to get the message and backed off. Although she started acting… strange. She ignored Sasuke and I, and was always showing off when we were around family. The only family that really accepted me- other than Sasuke- was Itachi. He was getting busier though, and didn't have time for us anymore. I made sure to bake for him and draw for him when I could, though.

Nevertheless, 4 years did pass by. I was on prescription meds, but they just made me even more anxious, so I made Sasuke hide them from me until I had to take them. At age 5 we all enrolled in the ninja academy.

I was actually kind of excited. In my old life I loved school… I started getting bullied. Even when the bullying stopped, I found myself changing myself for my friends. I even changed myself for Hikari. So I began to hate school. My parents constantly pressured me to get good grades, and even a C wasn't good enough. It put a lot of strain on me. I'll spare the rest of the details for another time.

On our first day, I finally met Naruto. He was loud and oftentimes hurt my sensitive ears, but he was a good friend. It was at that point I wondered who I would marry. Would I be lonely forever? Would I drag Sasuke down with me and cause him not to marry? I sighed, blinking my eyes and snapping back to reality. I was sitting in class on the first day of the ninja academy, Sasuke sitting next to me.

"You okay?" he asked me, resting his head on his fist and looking at me.

There was a mixture of pity and love in his eyes.

Was I… becoming a burden? He was constantly taking care of me, and probably missing out on all the fun things everyone else was doing. I shouldn't worry him anymore.

"Yeah… I'm fine. Just anxious about school," I replied, hoping he didn't notice my lie.

"You sure? You look a little pale. I brought snacks and your meds," as he said this he scooted closer and looked deeper into my soul, presumably looking for the truth.

"Yeah. Yeah," I said, adding more conviction to the second yeah. "I'm fine. Let's just focus on the lesson."

Sasuke studied me for a couple more minutes before shrugging. "Okay. If you say so."

I tried to focus on the lesson as my sight went in and out of focus. Soon my breathing became sharp and shallow.

"Sasuke… can I have my anxiety pills?..." I shakily gasp.

Sasuke immediately reacts, grabbing the pills and giving me some.

"What the- Why do you guys have pills?!" Naruto says VERY loudly. Iruka looks in our direction and narrows his eyes. Moriko and Sasuke, my office, NOW." he says sternly. We both shuffle out of our seats and to Iruka's office. Hikari gave us a dirty look before turning to the other direction and talking to Ino.

Iruka sits down behind his desk. "Give me the pills. Why do 5 year olds even have those?"

Sasuke reluctantly hands over a big pouch of pills. "They're for Moriko. You can ask my parents, they are prescription"

"While I highly doubt that, I will ask anyway. You shouldn't bring pills to school. Moriko will have to do without them." Iruka said, a serious look and tone emitting from him.

"What?!" Sasuke yelled out in anger. "Do you have any compassion? What if she has a panic attack?"

Iruka laughed. "I highly doubt a 5 year old girl would have a panic attack. I'm sure you guys have a perfect life and are overreacting." Iruka got up and grabbed his telephone. "I'm gonna call your parents now."

I looked down and Sasuke squeezed my hand. I felt so helpless. This life was supposed to be different. I was supposed to be happy. But I haven't even tried to be happy. Why? From now on I will try to be happy for Sasuke's sake.

"Your parents want you home. Bring Hikari with you." Iruka whispered, looking away.

We nodded and walked home with HIkari.

"What happened?" HIkari asks, surprising me at the fact that she actually cared.

"I- I don't really know. I just got really panicked and Naruto saw Sasuke give me my pills." I say, looking down.

"Do you think mom and dad will be mad?" I added, nervously looking at my siblings.

They both shrugged.

When we got home, our parents yelled at us. Even HIkari, surprisingly.

"Do you just not care about Moriko?" Sasuke frustratingly asked them.

"We do. But she doesn't need special attention. Her situation has just been blown out of proportion and she's being dramatic." They replied, giving me a cold look.

"I'm sorry-" I began, but Sasuke cut me off. "Are you being serious?!" he yelled out in protest.

"Sasuke. It's okay. They're right. I'm fine." I whispered. If I wanted to be okay, I would really have to believe I was.

After that, 2 years passed by. It was finally the day that Itachi would kill everyone. That day, Hikari stayed home sick. As Sasuke and I walked to school and were stopped by our aunt and uncle, my eyes widened in understanding. I ran back to the house and hugged Hikari. "I'm sorry. I love you." I cried into her chest. I released her quickly and ran back to Sasuke.

He gave me a weird look, but we went on our way.

Under my breath I said up to the sky, "Goodbye, Aurelia…"