Chapter Six
Their First Farewell
"Look for my return by the end of next month." Daniel stood on the Schooner Bay dock with Carolyn close by his side. "I promise I will come back to you."
"I will miss your escort home each evening," Carolyn confided quietly.
She couldn't and wouldn't give a voice to the fears alive in her heart. She had heard the tales of shipwrecks and lives lost at sea. But she could not burden her love with such distracting thoughts.
"Home…" Daniel mused, watching her expression and understanding her concerns for him.
It had been a long time since anyone worried about his survival or return. It made him love her even more. "You speak of my house with a pleasing permanence." He stepped closer, wishing they were alone.
"It is a very homely house," Carolyn diverted her meaning neatly, keeping her gaze fixed on the shiny brass buttons of his uniform jacket.
She had to admit they were very nice buttons. She could see her face reflected in their shiny surfaces.
"Liar…" Daniel sighed, deeply aware of the interested gazes of Carolyn's two children and Martha, standing behind them.
For the first time, he found he didn't want to sail away. He could happily turn his back on the ocean to be with her. But he knew she would not allow him to spurn his responsibilities.
"The Charlotte is a very, fine-looking ship," Jonathan volunteered his opinion. "I could wish that I was sailing with you, Captain. I should very much like to see London town."
"Give yourself a few years to grow and that may indeed be your future, lad." Daniel nodded to him. "I can always use a good cabin boy."
The child's innocent comments lightened Daniel's heart and mood. His world righted itself once more. Sailing away from his love ensured he would be certain to return.
"Oh, please, don't encourage him," Carolyn complained. "Since you have come into his life, he has spoken of little else but going to sea. Your house is now his treasure trove of all things naval. If we allowed it, he would live in the attic room among all your nautical things. Everything we do now needs to be ship-shape and Bristol-fashion."
"He could do worse." Daniel shrugged, taking her hand and carrying it to his lips. "Would you be averse to having two seamen in your life?"
He wanted to hear her answer. To hear her admit she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
"I think I could get used to it," Carolyn replied softly, remembering the warmth of his kiss.
How she wished he was free to kiss her again now. She longed for the security of his embrace. His evening escort of her had become very necessary.
"You know I don't want to leave you…" Daniel whispered, giving voice to his thoughts while retaining his clasp on her hand. "I wish we never needed to part again…" She could detain him with just one word.
Carolyn nodded. "I don't want you to go, either. Sadly, we both know it must be…"
"Yes…" Daniel replied gustily. "But leaving you behind is the hardest thing I have ever had to do…"
"Oh, Daniel…" Carolyn half-raised her hand toward his bearded cheek.
She was on the verge of asking him to stay. But she knew that such words would take away all he was to her and to the ocean he loved. She could not be so selfish.
"Ah, I'm sorry, Captain. But I think that sailor's looking for you," Martha apologised, breaking into their intimate conversation.
She indicated a tall young man waving his arm in the Captain's direction from the bridge of the ship, obviously attempting to communicate. But his shouted words were lost in the noise of the harbour. Frustrated, he stabbed his thumb downwards toward the ship's rail and Daniel immediately understood.
Below the bridge, a row of the ship's crew lined the rail, taking an inordinate interest in their Captain's new lady. There was much elbowing and chattering as they observed their close interaction. Money appeared to be changing hands.
Daniel looked up and grimaced. "Young Mr Jarvis, my first mate. His timing, as usual, is impeccable."
He dropped his eyes to the ogling line of watching seamen and his expression darkened. "And my crew are being neglectful of their duties, I see." He waved an impatient arm at the line-up.
In the next moment, the cluster of men jumped and scattered beneath the lash of Mr Jarvis's shouted commands. They didn't look back as they hurried away to their allotted tasks.
Daniel smiled as he turned back to look down at Carolyn's sweet, upturned face. He knew he would miss her with every fibre of his being. The idea of not seeing her for some time tugged at his heart.
"Wait for me…" he begged. "I will return. I can promise that."
"I know…" Carolyn nodded. "At the end of next month." She smiled tremulously, clasping his hand in hers. "And I will be here…"
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With the sun setting behind her, the Charlotte sailed a steady easterly course toward London across an ocean that appeared to be made of molten glass, so smoothly did it run. Heeling over before the wind, the schooner cut a clean path through the darkening waters, her sails, sheets, and halyards all creaking and groaning in the wind.
Her decks were well-ordered and momentarily deserted, the crewmen being either at their stations or taking supper. Young Mr Jarvis, the ship's first mate stood alone at the wheel guiding their path toward the coming night and the hidden perils it may contain.
Daniel stood in the stern, holding fast to a halyard as he watched the sun sink into the dark waters behind them. He imagined it sinking over Gull Cottage and the house lights coming on to lighten the darkness.
He shook his head as the last of the daylight winked out and the ocean seemed limitless. They became a lone speck of life on its tireless breast. The ship's lanterns were ignited one by one, casting splashes of colour onto the dark waters that chuckled past her gunnels in a reassuring sound all was well.
Everything was exactly as it should be, but for the first time in his life, Daniel understood he was sailing away from someone he loved and it made his heart ache. He leaned forward, almost as if he could command the night to lift so he could snatch one last glimpse of the harbour and town that were now well below the horizon and out of reach.
Nathaniel Grimes walked silently up to his captain's side, watching him frown toward the land they'd left far behind. The ship's carpenter knew why. He'd lined up at the rail with the rest of the men and had seen the pretty lady on his master's arm. He too would have been loath to leave such a beauty behind.
"Coffee, Captain?" Nathaniel held out the heavy, earthenware mug he carried in his hands, balancing expertly with the ease of long practice against the lean of the decking.
"Thank you, Mr Grimes…" Daniel accepted it gratefully, sipping the strong brew.
The carpenter nodded as he turned to lean his forearms on the rail, staring out into the darkness. He too had left someone behind. He understood that for the first time his captain would rather be at home than sailing away from it.
"I beg the captain's pardon and I would not presume to know his business…" he began slowly, unsure of his reception.
"You may speak freely, Mr Grimes," Daniel allowed.
"It does get easier to leave 'em, sir, with time." He turned and looked up. "And they's give you a good reason to return."
Daniel considered him. "You and Mrs Grimes have been married long?"
"Twenty years my Clara has given me. And six children. I would wish for twenty more. They've been good years and I regret not a second of 'em."
He cleared his throat. "Your lady is a fair beauty. Mrs Muir is spoken well of in the town and she is a good woman. I would wish you well for your future happiness together."
Daniel frowned at him over the rim of his mug. "And you have come to ask me what question exactly?"
Nathaniel stood up, his lips twisting in a wry grin. "I said nought would escape your sharp eye, Sir." He knuckled his forehead. "The men were taking bets on if you'd bring her aboard to sail to London with thee."
"We are not wed," Daniel reminded him shortly. "It would not have been appropriate, as you well know. And I have never brought a woman aboard any ship I command."
"Aye…" Nathaniel watched him carefully. "As I told them. But they're curious. They have seen you with such beauties before."
"My personal business is none of their business," Daniel replied repressively, finishing his coffee." Make sure you tell them that, or I will tell them myself."
He handed the mug back before he returned to his contemplation of the far horizon. "That will be all…" He drew a deep sigh, releasing it slowly.
"Very well, I'll be telling them." Nathaniel straightened from the rail. "I'll bid you a goodnight, then, Captain." He shook his head as he walked away, leaving Daniel alone with his longing and his thoughts.
Daniel spent some time dwelling upon some lines of a letter he'd begun to compose for Carolyn. It expressed all his thoughts and feelings.
He began to quote it softly, 'Beloved, I am bound to you, for now, for all eternity. I can chart no other course, but homeward to your arms. I must return to you as surely as the sea birds flying with my ship return every season to the distant land.
Your loving arms are my harbour, my shore and my anchor in a storm-tossed world. I fly to you as truly as an arrow flies into the sun, to be lost in the brilliance of your smile, the warmth of your greeting…'
He sighed, turning from the view to go back to his duties. The weeks ahead were going to be long and lonely before he returned again to the safe harbour of his beloved's arms.
But he knew he would be delayed longer than he'd intended. On his return to American waters, he had a very important assignment he'd given himself to perform without delay.
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"You've been away for longer than you said," Carolyn accused the moment Daniel walked down the gangplank from his docked ship several weeks later, with his sea bag slung over his shoulder.
Carolyn stared up at him, enjoying the sight of his smiling blue eyes. He was tanned and he looked very healthy. He was even more magnificent than the unforgettable night they first met.
"My apologies, Madam." Daniel gazed down at her, absorbing everything he'd missed about her on the long, lonely nights at sea. "I believe I must pay a forfeit."
"Yes, I believe you must. But not here…" Carolyn smiled. "It is such a lovely afternoon. I thought we might walk home together."
"May I remind you that Gull Cottage is your home now, not mine," Daniel replied, resolving not to give in to the rising impulse to kiss her then and there.
He knew they were the focus of many interested pairs of eyes. Not least of all his motley crew.
"Yes, but the children were so excited when we learned you were returning today." Carolyn linked her hand with his. "Uncle Claymore has even given me the afternoon off to come down to the docks to meet you."
"How on earth…?" Daniel's dark brows rose. "Is he ill?"
"Oh, no…" Carolyn shook her head. "I simply told him I was prepared to work off the time on Sunday morning after church. He had to be satisfied with that."
"The man has no conscience," Daniel complained, repositioning his bag over his shoulder. "Do you wish me to speak with him?"
"No, but, thank you. I have learned how to deal with Uncle Claymore. We get along now rather better than before. He does have a heart; he simply guards it very well for fear someone may take some kind of advantage of him. Shall we go?"
"A moment more, my dear…" Daniel turned to the seaman who had followed him off the ship. "Deliver my trunks to the Inn, if you will, Nathaniel. I have taken rooms there."
A payment was passed between them. "And Mr Jarvis has your orders. Obey his word as you would mine until I return."
"Aye, aye, Captain…" The seaman knuckled his forehead, all the while his curious gaze was fixed on Carolyn. A gleam of approval shone in his dark eyes.
"Afternoon, Ma'am." He grinned, showing a few of his crooked teeth were missing. He turned and hurried back up the gangplank to report to Daniel's crew about the pretty young woman he'd just met.
Daniel looked after him with resignation. "You have become the centre of the ship's gossip. They have talked of little else but you since we sailed. Do you mind?"
"Not at all…" Carolyn shook her head. "The townspeople are the same. They have become used to seeing you walking out with me. And they know I now reside in your house. Their speculation is endless."
"Then, shall we?" Daniel extended his elbow, inviting Carolyn to place her gloved hand in the crook of his arm.
"Thank you, Captain." Carolyn smiled, doing as he bid.
They walked off the dock and onto the street through the town in companionable silence, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sunlight. It was a brisk walk along the road to Gull Cottage, but they were both young and fit and achieved their destination within a reasonable time.
The children were lined up on the stone wall surrounding the cottage as the adults walked up the hill. They scrambled off, followed by their dog, all three racing each other to be the first to greet the Captain's return.
"Will you stay for dinner?" Carolyn invited Daniel over the noise of greeting and Scruffy's happy barking.
"I would like that," he replied simply. "I also have something I wish to impart to you in private."
"Oh?" Carolyn's eyebrows rose, not sure what to think.
"After dinner, when we can be alone," Daniel replied mysteriously, taking her arm through his once more to escort her inside.
※※※※※
"I am afraid I must be the bearer of some troubling news," Daniel confided after dinner.
He and Carolyn stood alone in the front parlour before the warming fire. The children had retired to bed and Martha was in the kitchen washing the dishes.
"The only way to deal with bad news is to meet it head-on," Carolyn replied uneasily. "Are you thinking of turning us out of your house?"
"Oh, no, my dear. Never that." Daniel quickly shook his head. "Gull Cottage is yours until you decide to move. I will be comfortable enough at the Inn. Though their cooking cannot compare to Martha's."
Carolyn put her hand on his arm. "I am sorry it has to be this way."
"It is a small matter." Daniel shrugged, gazing down at the lovely picture she made in the firelight. "I am at sea for most of the summer anyway. Come this winter our arrangements might have changed," he said cryptically. "If you are willing."
"I… How so…?" Carolyn ventured to ask, her breath catching in her throat at the suddenly intense look in her love's eyes.
"All in good time, my dear," he replied gently, putting his hand over hers. "But first, my news. I am sorry to inform you that my cousin, and your uncle, has been very economic with the truth in recent months."
"Claymore? How and why? I don't understand…" Carolyn frowned.
Daniel leaned down to stir the fire with the poker. "Your father has not abandoned you here as you thought," he replied evenly, suppressed anger underscoring his clipped tone. "In fact, he has been writing to you every week and is quite distraught that you still do not reply. He was making plans to visit when your mother recovers from her strained nerves."
He straightened, his expression darkening with displeasure. "It seems Claymore had your father's letters intercepted at the post office and redirected to him."
He shook his head. "Anything you mailed to your father had also been diverted into your uncle's hands. He has selfishly severed all communications between you for his own ends."
"This is too awful. How could he?" Carolyn's hand crept up to her cheek in horror. "My poor father… What must he be thinking?"
"I have seen the letters Claymore wrote to him." Daniel regarded her with compassion. "He become deeply impressed with your diligent work and industry on his behalf. You are fattening his coffers very well, so he saw no reason to allow you to leave his employ. Therefore, he replied to all of your father's letters in glowing terms, assuring him that all was well and you were perfectly happy in Schooner Bay."
His lips thinned. "He also wrote that you are far too busy to write and have no intention of returning to Philadelphia. You are determined to make your home here."
"This is just unforgivable!" Carolyn took a sharp turn around the room. "I will pack up and leave immediately!"
"No…" Daniel extended an imploring hand. "I cannot allow you to do that."
"Cannot?" Carolyn raised her brows at him. "I never thought to hear that word from you. I thought you, of all people, understood me. My will is not to be denied."
"I do understand," Daniel replied quickly. "Please, hear me out."
He drew a long breath, releasing it slowly. "You have not asked how I know about your father and his letters…"
"I…" Carolyn frowned at him, suddenly nonplussed. "Yes, how do you know?"
"Because I went to see your father the moment my ship docked in Philadelphia. I wanted to ask him something…"
"You took it upon yourself to visit my family, and you did not say anything of your plans to me?" Carolyn set her hands on her hips. "This is too much! First my uncle and now you."
She shook her head. "Must all the men in my life conspire against me? You don't even ask for my forgiveness."
"No, my dear…" Daniel replied, putting out a hand which she ignored. "I admit I wondered why your father had not been in touch. It seemed very odd that such a loving man would not make an effort to contact his only child."
He dropped his hand to his side. "It seems they have been away for some months for the sake of your mother's health and they have only recently returned to the city. But I also went there to ask him a very important question."
"What sort of question?" Carolyn demanded to know, suspiciously.
"Please, sit down…" Daniel indicated the couch set to the side of the fire.
"Very well…" Carolyn picked up her skirts and did as she was bid.
"Ah, please do not look such daggers at me, my dear," Daniel begged, approaching her slowly. "I have your best interests very close to my heart. I wish only the finest of everything for you and your children."
"And how do you plan to achieve that?" Carolyn lifted her chin at him.
Daniel sighed, smiling at her. He adored the flash in her green eyes and the set of her chin. Preparing to defy him.
"Your thorns have kept you safe and your heart untouched. But you do not need to use them with me. I am utterly on your side and always will be."
"What was the question you wished to ask my father?" Carolyn persisted.
Daniel watched her with compassion. "I asked him if he had any objection to his only child marrying a Maine sea captain," he said softly. "I believe your mother immediately burst into tears when she was told the news. I am not sure if that was a good thing or bad."
Carolyn sat still, staring up at him. For the first time since Daniel had met her, she seemed lost for words. It gave him a measure of satisfaction while he waited for her answer. He was completely unsure of his ground but knew he could no longer live without making her his own in every sense of the word.
"If it were not for you and the children being here," he said softly. "I would be spending yet another Christmas alone." He pointed toward the ceiling. "I would probably be up there in my room reading a book beside the gas fire and cursing my aloneness."
He sighed. "In the past few years, I have often fallen asleep on the couch through sheer boredom because there was no one to talk with. It had been a lonely existence and I do not wish to ever do that again."
His blue eyes darkened with desire as he shook his head slowly. "I want you there beside me, to talk with me and love with me."
He sank down on one knee before her, reaching into his jacket pocket to draw out a small, black velvet box. He opened it to show her the contents. A beautifully cut diamond ring that winked in the firelight.
"This was a gift to me from the Bey of Tunis," he recounted softly. "When I met him he was a very old man with many wives and uncounted children. He told me I should keep the ring until I finally met the one woman in the world I would love utterly and could never live without."
He lifted the ring from the box, holding it out. "I said I didn't think she existed. Because I'd already searched the world for her and had not found a single trace."
He shook his head slowly. "He said, then I had not yet looked hard enough, or close enough to home. He was a very wise, very cunning old man. He often beat me soundly at chess and enjoyed it hugely."
"I… What are you asking of me?" Carolyn whispered.
"Your father gave me his wholehearted permission. Carolyn, I am asking you to do me the honour of consenting to become my beloved wife," Daniel replied simply.
She stared at him. "You called me Carolyn…"
"It is your name…"
Carolyn's eyelashes swept down. "Yes, but, I… like hearing you say it…"
"Carolyn…" Daniel repeated softly. "Will you do me the great honour of consenting to marry me, my love?"
He held out the ring, not begging, simply asking. He waited, watching all the various emotions chase each other across her expressive face.
"I have to tell you, I am not an easy woman to live with," Carolyn said slowly. "I have a temper and I am told, also a very wide streak of unwomanly stubbornness that sometimes gets the better of me. I am not afraid to speak the truth and my mind is my own. Some men have been afraid of me for those reasons." She dropped her gaze to her hands clasped in her lap.
Daniel regarded her with sympathy. "Those traits I have already seen in you and I admire a woman who knows her own mind. You never need to pretend to be anything other than who you are, not with me."
"I… also write stories… articles… under a man's name," Carolyn went on as if he hadn't spoken. "I have been published in a small way. Not yet enough to make a living for myself and my children. But I will not consent to give up trying to become a published author. I am told I have a talent for it even though my male editors do not know I am a woman. They would be horrified."
"I do not expect you to do give up anything to be with me…" Daniel replied. "Please believe me when I say you will have more freedom with me than you have ever had with any man. How could I clip your beautiful wings? They make you the beautiful, entrancing, utterly impossible woman that you are…"
He stopped, staring at his love. He could see tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.
"Oh, no, look here… Here, belay that… What have I said to make you cry?" he asked anxiously.
"Nothing…" Carolyn shook her head, even as she finally braved his concerned gaze. "You're a man, you wouldn't understand. These are tears of happiness, not sadness."
"They are?" Daniel's eyebrows rose.
To his man's mind, tears were tears and he never liked to see any woman cry. It made him deeply uneasy and feeling helpless.
Carolyn pulled her handkerchief from her skirt pocket and wiped her eyes. "I once thought my heart was made of ice, and yet you proved to me it is not. I had thought I was an impossible woman for any man to live with and you say no…"
She smiled at him tentatively. "I once thought I was incapable of love and yet here we are. And I couldn't be happier."
Daniel's forehead creased in puzzlement. "Is that a yes or is it a no?"
He was beginning to feel a little foolish kneeling before a woman who was confusing him utterly. But he would have his answer.
"It is a yes, Daniel dear…" Carolyn whispered. "It will always be a yes. I don't think I could live now without you to help and guide me. Forgive my feminine errors…"
With her eyes on his, she slowly removed Robert's wedding ring, slipping it into the pocket of her dress. Then she held her hand out to her new love.
"Thank heavens…" Daniel breathed with relief, taking her hand in his before placing his ring on her finger.
Without another word, he reached out and drew her to her feet, bringing her closer against him than ever before. Carolyn went into his embrace gratefully, resting her cheek against the solid strength of his broad shoulder. At that moment she had never felt so loved and cherished.
And when Daniel put his hand beneath her chin to tilt her face up to his, she didn't hesitate to accept his kiss with everything loving and giving that had been pent up inside her for so long.
※※※※※
"Engaged, is it?" Martha sighed, wiping her hands on her apron before admiring Carolyn's ring. "Well, all I can say is it's about time. You two have been mooning around each other for long enough. I swear I was about to say something myself to hurry you along."
She slanted Daniel a long look. "You went and saw Mr Williams. Now that was an elegant trick, I must say. I was beginning to wonder if the mail had been going astray. Trust that perfidious Claymore Gregg to be at the bottom of it, somewhere. Why I have a good mind to take my rolling pin to that snake!"
"I will deal with Claymore," Daniel told her. "But his mean trick of not giving Carolyn her mail has turned to our advantage. It has kept her here so I might pursue my suit in earnest. When we are married Carolyn will be here with the children and working on her writing. Not slaving to fatten the coffers of that thankless taskmaster."
"Well, so you've finally shared your big secret, then, have you?" Martha looked surprised. "Good for you."
"I could not marry again without coming clean on all fronts." Carolyn shook her head. "I would like to stay home and write if it was at all possible."
"Then you shall…" Daniel took her hand in his and kissed it. "I'm sure we can find the right editor who will help make you famous. I can bring you all the paper and pens you could ever wish for.
"Thank you. Once we have celebrated Thanksgiving, we will get on with making our wedding plans," Carolyn declared shyly. "It still does not seem possible."
"I know the children will be thrilled," Martha said comfortably. "I think this calls for a round of our best sherry."
She bustled away to fetch the tray of the decanter and glasses. She placed it on the kitchen table and poured a good measure into each glass.
"I will call in on Claymore tomorrow," Daniel told Carolyn as they accepted their glasses. "I will straighten him out on a number of points before I sail again."
"Thank you, I would like that. And I will miss you so much…" Carolyn shook her head. "I do wish you didn't have to go away, but I do understand."
"Keep watch for me up on the widow's walk. I have far to sail this time, but I will return before winter comes. That, I promise. We will spend Christmas together. I would like that very much. I have never had a family Christmas at Gull Cottage."
Carolyn linked hands with him. "Then we shall make sure it's a merry one, won't we, Martha?"
"We surely will," the housekeeper assured her, saluting them both with her glass of sherry. "The best Christmas Schooner Bay has ever seen. I have a feeling that the Christmas of eighteen-sixty-nine is going to be a wonderful time!"
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