(Edward's P.O.V)
"They're having a memorial for Grayson tonight. I think that's such a lovely idea. I can tell he meant a lot to many students here. Apparently, he was the captain of the football team. I hear he was an exceptional quarterback. 'A real star' as Coach Miller put it. It's such a shame what happened to him. Lynna showed me a picture of him in gym. He was very handsome and had the deepest blue eyes. They were such a cute couple—" I interrupted Alice's incessant monolog as my fist came down on the table with a force that nearly shattered it.
There was a crack in the center of the table, where my fist met the surface. "Enough!" I glowered.
Although my glare was meant for Alice, Jasper was the one that returned it full force.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Jasper questioned, rage twisting his usual stoic features.
Emmett looked up from playing with his food; his usual jolly demeanor vanished as he looked between me and Jasper. Alice was staring at me with hurt in her eyes; her thoughts were guarded. The thoughts of everyone in the cafeteria started echoing in my mind, seeming to grow louder and louder by the second.
I wanted to scream. My eyes slowly trailed to the golden-haired girl with piercing blue eyes whose mind was hushed. She was looking right at me with a blank expression. When she saw me looking, she ripped her eyes from mine and started picking at her food once more.
Jasper's question rang through my mind— What is wrong with me?! I hesitantly met his furious gaze, Alice's hurt eyes, Emmett's curious expression, and Rosalie's annoyed frown before I responded in a broken whisper, "I don't know."
Before any of them could respond, I all but ran out of the cafeteria, dodging strange glances from several teachers as I escaped the school and sprinted into the neighboring woods where I was finally free from the thoughts of those around me.
(3rd P.O.V) The Cullens'
"What the hell was that?" Emmett asked his siblings.
Jasper wrapped an arm around Alice; he didn't need to be an empath to know when his mate needed comforting. The petite vampire leaned into his embrace. She was truly affected by Edward's behavior. Out of all her siblings, her and Edward had always been the closest— up until his departure twenty years ago, that is. She missed her brother; they all did— who he used to be; who he still is, deep inside.
"I don't know. But it was uncalled for," Jasper grumbled bitterly.
He was going to have a talk with the emotional mind-reader later. He knew Edward was going through a lot. He felt everything he felt. Up until recently, Edward had been completely numb. Anytime the empath was around him, Jasper had a strange, hollow feeling overcome him. Edward was empty inside; broken.
Over the past few days, Jasper noticed that the numbness had been replaced with anger. All he could feel from the brooding vampire was anger with a twinge of sadness. Up until now, that is. During Alice's monolog, Jasper picked up on the slightest hint of jealousy, but it was very much overshadowed by anger— so much so, that the empath believed he may have imagined it.
"He's so dramatic," Rosalie rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance.
"But why? He went from being practically mute to this." Emmett scrunched up his face in confusion.
"Maybe he isn't ready for this— being around humans. Maybe going to school and trying to 'be normal' is just too much for him right now," Alice spoke up thoughtfully with a faraway look in her eyes.
"I think you're right. It's too soon," Jasper agreed with his mate.
Rosalie's eyes flashed. "Too soon?! It's been twenty years. That's two decades. He's being downright ridiculous. So, what— Bella wanted to be with a dog. He should have known better than to fall for a human to begin with. What did he expect?!"
"You can't help who you fall in love with, Rose. And not all humans are bad," Emmett stated before adding with a smile, "I would fall for you if you were a human."
Rosalie rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. "That's different."
"No," the broad vampire chuckled. "It's not."
Alice pursed her lips, deep in thought. "It's my fault," she sighed, her brows knitting together sorrowfully.
"How's that?" Jasper inquired.
"Becoming friends with Lynna. It's a.. reminder, I think. Bella and I became quick friends when they got together, and my being friends with Lynna reminds him of that." Another sigh escaped her lips.
"But he and Lynna aren't together, so it's hardly the same," Emmett said as he stabbed his baked potato with a plastic fork. "Besides, he can't stand her."
"Why do you think that is?" Alice shot back.
Emmett shrugged his broad shoulders and dumped his cup of oranges on top of the baked potato. "I don't know. He doesn't like anyone. He doesn't even like us anymore."
"Maybe he can't stand her because he wants to kill her? He literally told us that her blood sang to him like no other— meaning, she smells even better than Bella. Perhaps, that's just another reminder," Rosalie spoke up as she pretended to take a swig of milk.
They all widened their eyes in sync.
"You're right," Alice nodded. "She reminds him of her. I feel so bad. I'm being a bad sister, aren't I? I didn't stop to think that being friends with a human would rub salt in the wound."
"Nah. Don't feel that way. It's not your fault. And it's certainly not Lynna's. She can't help that her scent appeals to him. If he's not ready to deal with humans or the temptation, then he can just drop out and try again in a few years," Emmett was quick to say.
"We should talk to Carlisle. He needs to be the one to discuss this with him. Edward won't take it well coming from us," Jasper added.
They were all in agreement.
(Edward's P.O.V)
I was reluctant to walk back into the building, but I knew hiding out in the woods wouldn't solve anything. Of course, I could just ditch the remainder of the day and go home, but that would raise questions with Carlisle and Esme. Perhaps, I should leave all together. I felt as though I was just dragging my family down anyway. Maybe I should go to Greenland? No, I want to be completely alone. Antarctica? Yes, Antarctica would be perfect.
To my dismay, a stabbing sensation pierced through my core that nearly took my breath away. I fell to my knees and clutched at my chest. As quickly as the pain began, it ceased, fading out until I was left with the same hollow feeling that I had grown accustomed to. I inhaled slowly, carefully— making sure the pain had truly subsided. When I was certain it was over, I marched back into the building and headed straight to class.
I was the first student to arrive. I took my usual seat and laid my head down on the desk, wishing I could close my eyes and drift off to sleep. I wanted an escape. I needed an escape. Sleep was lost to me forever. After all these years living as an immortal, I found that sleep was what I yearned for most. I envied those who could go home after a bad day and sleep it off, waking to feel rejuvenated and ready to start a new day. To me, my life was one endless tragedy that I couldn't sleep away. I could never have a fresh start.
I was pulled from my tormented thoughts when the students started filing in, one by one. Seven students took their seats before she walked in. My eyes grew in surprise when I saw that she was wearing that hoodie once again; it swallowed her whole, completely hiding the skin-tight dress she was sporting— Most importantly, it was hiding those curves from view. I took note of her downturned mouth as she trudged my way and sat down in front of me; she refused to make eye contact with the likes of me.
In that moment, I became so angry with myself that it was unreal. Why was I so distinctly aware of her existence? Why do my eyes automatically gravitate towards her?
Without thinking, I inhaled sharply, causing her scent to overwhelm me. My muscles tensed, ready to spring towards the girl in front of me and sink my teeth into her fleshy neck. What if I allowed myself to kiss her warm skin before my teeth pierced her flesh? I would start at the hollow beneath her ear and trail my lips down her neck, stopping at her collarbone. To my chagrin, I wasn't imagining the delectable flavor of her blood— I was fantasizing about the sweet yet salty taste of her skin on my lips.
How absolutely ridiculous! I despised the human girl with every bone in my body. I was fully convinced of that. The feeling was mutual on her end as well. We harbored nothing but dislike for one another. She was a constant reminder of what was lost to me for eternity— who was lost to me, I should say. She was nothing more than a tribute of the heartbreak I had spent two decades running from. Still, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get the thought of her out of my head.
Alice swiftly walked in and sat down beside Lynna before giving me a half smile that I didn't return. Lynna swiveled in her seat to face her.
"Hey, are you okay? You seemed upset during lunch." The golden-haired girl was observant.
Alice gave her a believable smile. "Oh, I'm great. Just heard that I was missing out on a shoe sale at Macy's, is all. I'll survive."
I rolled my eyes at her excuse. As I eyeballed the ginormous hoodie swallowing the petite girl in front of me, I was unable to bite my tongue.
"I see you've decided to wear the hoodie after all," I spoke in a snarky tone before adding sarcastically, "Was it something I said?"
The human girl spun around to face me with piercing blue eyes that stared straight through me. "Don't flatter yourself, Cullen. As if I would give a rat's ass about your opinion."
A rat's ass? My jaw went slack. Hearing those foul words leave those pretty lips of hers shocked me. I was quite amused, nevertheless.
What did you say to her? Alice sneered in her thoughts.
I, obviously, chose to ignore the silent question.
"Whatever, Holloway," I grumbled bitterly, unsure of how to respond.
Alice short me a stern look before giving Lynna a kind smile. "I love your dress. Don't listen to him."
Lynna shot me a glare from over her shoulder which I returned in full force. Stupid girl.
(Lynna's P.O.V)
"Do you want to ride together to the memorial? Or are your dad and Sadie coming?" I asked Noah as we walked into the parking lot.
He released a deep sigh. They're coming. But dad invited his new girlfriend to tag along as well. Safe to say, I'd prefer to ride with you.
I furrowed my brows. "He has a girlfriend? Since when?"
He frowned. I don't know. But he seems pretty serious about her. I haven't even met her yet.
I gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm sure she is lovely. Give her a chance."
I will. He promised with another frown.
"I'll pick you up at six," I said to him before we parted ways.
Noah nodded and waved before he climbed onto the back of his motorcycle and sped away.
After I dropped Dustin off at home, I chose to go visit Grayson. I sat on my knees on the damp ground. My fingertips traced his name carved on the stone.
"It's been a year," I whispered as tears welled up in my eyes. "A year without you. I don't know how I've made it this long without you. I think about you… literally all the time," I said with a dry chuckle. "Everything reminds me of you. I miss you. So so much. I miss your smile, your laugh. I miss holding your hand as we walked to class. I miss your stupid dad jokes. My jokes were so much better, you know," I whispered with the saddest of smiles. "I miss feeling your arms around me. I always felt so safe in your arms. I miss you sneaking into my room at night so you could comfort me during a storm. You knew how much the thunder scared me. I miss you teasing me about it."
I felt a lump form in my throat as I continued to fight back the tears. "I just… miss… you."
The first tear fell and it was like opening the flood gates. I was no longer able to hold back the waterworks. I fell to the ground and cried. And cried. And cried.
(Edward's P.O.V)
I don't know what possessed me to wander through the woods after school. It was as if my mind had a mind of its own. Subconsciously, I knew where I was headed— To the cemetery. Why? I wasn't sure. Did I know she would be there? Of course not. Despite today being the anniversary of Grayson's death, I didn't know that she would be there. It was entirely a coincidence that I was watching her from atop a pine tree as she sobbed next to the grave.
As I listened to her monolog, I felt my stomach twist in a strange, unfamiliar fashion. She loved Grayson; truly, she did. Perhaps her love for him wasn't as fickle as I once thought. Perhaps she would have spent the rest of her life with him. Perhaps she would have been Mrs. Grayson Cole Evans. Perhaps they would have lived happily ever after. Or perhaps he would have let her down. Perhaps he wasn't the man she thought he was. Perhaps he didn't love her as deeply as she, so clearly, loves him. Perhaps their relationship would have gone up in flames, destroying her opinion on love entirely. Perhaps. Or perhaps not.
I was curious though. If the roles were reversed— if she was the one to perish in that fire, would he be mourning for her a year later? Or would he have moved on by now? Clearly, her love for him hadn't faded in the slightest. Would he be sitting at her grave, pouring his heart out on the anniversary of her death? Doubtful.
As I watched the tears fall from her face, there was one thing I knew for certain about the girl. When she loves someone, she loves them with all of her heart. A small part of me was tempted to go over to her, to comfort her somehow. I wanted to offer her some form of solace— to tell her she's not alone. That must have been the human in me, what little was left anyway. Despite not being fond of the human girl, I didn't want to see her cry.
She was hurting. Her heart was broken. They say time heals all wounds, which is the case as far as humans are concerned. But what if she's different? What if she never truly recovers from his death? Even if she seeks refuge in the arms of another, will her heart always yearn for his? Will she always be looking for him to come through her bedroom window to comfort her during a storm? Or will she open her heart to another? Someone like Tyler? Marty? Noah, perhaps? She was a beautiful girl, so she wouldn't be without options. That much was certain. Would she see him coming? In a vision? — The man who was destined to pick up the remnants of her shattered heart. Or would he blindside her entirely?
Once again, I felt that breathtaking, stabbing sensation in the center of my chest. I nearly fell out of the tree as I clutched at my chest. Thankfully, it was quick to subside. I was so focused on the weeping girl that I didn't notice Emmett sneaking up on me. He was standing on the branch opposite of me and looking at me with narrowed eyes.
"I won't let you hurt her," he growled.
I narrowed my eyes at him in return and let out a low, threatening growl. So, he thought he was her protector, did he? A surge of anger unlike any I had ever felt before rocked through me. The fact that it was directed towards my brother only made it that much worse.
"You think you're going to protect her from me?" I challenged, clenching my jaw.
He nodded once, firmly. "If that's what it takes." Leave her be. His thoughts warned.
I shook my head and scowled. "What would Rosalie think of you being the human's bodyguard?"
"That doesn't matter. Lynna is innocent," he stated with glowing, golden eyes.
I pursed my lips and leaned against the trunk of the tree in a casual manner. "If Rose gets jealous, it won't be me that you have to worry about killing the girl."
His eyes widened; his thoughts jumbled. "It's not like that. You know I love Rose."
"Oh, yeah?" I quirked a brow and smirked, knowing I was getting under his skin. "Then, why do you care if I kill the girl or not? What's it to you?"
His jaw went slack. "Listen to yourself! This isn't you. You can't go around hating all humans because of what—" he stopped mid-sentence, but he didn't have to finish; I already knew what he was going to say.
"Don't you dare speak her name," I snarled as I crouched down, preparing to lunge towards him.
His eyes were now the size of saucers. He wasn't afraid of me, not in the slightest, but he was very surprised by my behavior. He raised his hands as if to surrender.
"Woah, woah. Chill. I'm not going to," he assured me.
I felt myself relax, but I remained in the crouched position. I ripped my eyes from him and focused on her when she lifted her head from the ground. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, the blue in her eyes appeared to glow against her flushed cheeks.
"She is really pretty," he hummed, trying to ease the tension, before locking eyes with me. "Don't you dare tell Rose I said that," he chuckled.
I rolled my eyes. "She smells better than she looks," I grumbled bitterly.
It was actually a tie, but I wouldn't tell him that. He inhaled deeply and nodded.
"She does smell exceptionally good, I'll admit," he said with a frown as he folded his arms across his chest.
My head snapped in his direction, feeling a strange urge to stand between him and the girl. I chalked it up to a predator simply not wanting to share its prey. My throat and lungs burned like the fiery pits of hell when I allowed myself a breath as well.
"You know how bad it would hurt Alice if you hurt her, right? And Carlisle and Esme? They trust you, Edward. Please don't betray them like that," he spoke slowly; carefully.
I couldn't help roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah," I spoke nonchalantly.
Emmett grinned, unfazed by my careless demeanor. "That Tyler guy really has it bad for her, huh?"
I shrugged and blinked slowly. For some reason, even hearing his name got on my nerves.
"I'm curious. Do you think he stands a chance with her?" He asked in a casual manner. "Apparently he was Grayson's best friend, but I heard through the grapevine that he had a thing for her before Grayson came along."
My eyes narrowed into slits. "Why do you care?" I challenged.
He chuckled lowly. "I mean, I do consider her a friend as far as humans go. I'm just curious. I figured a mind-reader such as yourself would know."
I clenched my jaw as I stared down at the girl who was staring at the tombstone with a solemn expression. "The answer is no. He doesn't have a chance with her. She's not over Grayson. She thinks about him all the time."
I simply repeated what I heard her say to her deceased boyfriend. I truly had no idea if my words were true, but I believed they were. She wasn't over Grayson. So, as for the time being, Tyler doesn't stand a chance with her. Emmett nor the others knew that Lynna's mind was hushed to me. It's none of their business, and I planned on keeping it that way.
"That's a shame," he mumbled as he stared at her with pursed lips. His thoughts were guarded.
"Why do you say that?" I wondered.
"Because she deserves to be happy. She's too young to give up on love. She shouldn't still be grieving the way she is."
I hummed in response. He was right. He looked at me with a cautious smile.
"What about that Marty kid?" He laughed. "Maybe he's more her type."
I scoffed. Timid band geek with anxiety issues over a confident jock? Doubtful. Emmett was starting to get on my nerves with this.
"I don't think so," I spoke through gritted teeth.
A goofy grin played on his features. Noah's face drifted through his mind. My fingers dug into the bark of the tree with force.
"What about Noah? They're already real close," he spoke thoughtfully.
"Seriously?!" My head shot in his direction as an unknown emotion pierced through me. "They're just friends, Emmett. Why are you being so nosy?!"
He ignored my comment with a low chuckle. "Often times, the best relationships start off as friendship, you know."
I was instantly reminded of she-who-shall-not-be-named, who fell in love with her mutt of a best friend. I was seeing red when I locked eyes with my brother.
"You need to leave," I growled out.
His goofy grin instantly vanished; his face took on a sour note. "I'm not leaving you alone to stalk your prey, Edward. As I said, I won't let you hurt her."
That did it. Something in me snapped. Stalk my PREY?! That's what he thought I was doing?! I was absolutely livid. A snarl ripped through my chest before I lunged towards him; the sound of our bodies colliding echoed throughout the woods, sounding like two giant boulders slamming together, as loud as thunder.
The second we hit the ground, he ripped me from him and sent me spiraling into a tree; the force of my body caused the tree to collapse on itself. Emmett's eyes darkened with anger, matching my own. The sound of a soft, panicked voice broke through my rage.
"Who's there?" Lynna called from the cemetery, feigning bravery.
My head instinctively swiveled in her direction then back to Emmett when I remembered her fear of storms. The sound of our bodies colliding very much resembled the sound of thunder.
"Now, look what you've done," I growled, resisting the urge to strike my annoying brother. "You frightened her!'
His jaw went slack, his eyes widening in both shock and amusement. "I frightened her?! You attacked me!"
The sound of Carlisle's thoughts pierced through my mind. Enough.
A few seconds passed before he emerged from the trees, his face stoic. "Enough," he spoke in an authoritative voice, mimicking his previous thoughts.
His mind alerted me that Alice had seen our fight in a vision. Of course, she went and told Carlisle. I shot another glare in Emmett's direction before I went to climb the tree once more. Carlisle's hand clamped down on my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks.
"We need to talk," he spoke in a firm voice.
I hesitantly spun around to face my father-figure.
Someone's in trouble, Emmett taunted in his thoughts before he took off at a full run.
I groaned internally. Carlisle's thoughts were completely guarded. He gestured in the direction of the house with a solemn frown. I inhaled deeply— her sweet scent still lingered in the air, but it wasn't as strong, so I knew she had left. Still, that unyielding burn scalded my throat and lungs.
I nodded solemnly and allowed him to lead the way. We took off at a run, stopping a ways from the house so we still had privacy. Whatever he had to say, he wanted it to be between the two of us. I leaned against a tree in a casual manner.
"So, what's this about?" I asked glumly.
He, too, leaned against a tree and looked at me with warmth in his eyes. "What do you think this is about, son?"
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking," I spoke in a monotone, not in the mood for one of his speeches.
I didn't bother trying to read his thoughts. Over the past two decades, I had gotten better at blocking out the thoughts of others.
"Edward," he breathed out, pausing before continuing. "Jasper told me about your outburst today."
That automatically earned an eye roll from me. "It wasn't a big deal."
They called that an outburst? Ha! Carlisle frowned as he studied my expression.
"Edward, we all think it would be best if you wait a while longer to integrate yourself with humans," he spoke in a calm, careful voice.
I could have sworn I felt my heart drop to my stomach. "What are you trying to say. Carlisle?" My voice was low and firm.
He sighed deeply before approaching me, placing a hand on my shoulder as he looked into my eyes, "Son, I don't think you're ready for this yet. There's nothing wrong with waiting a few more years."
My eyes widened. "You want me to drop out of school?"
The idea seemed entirely preposterous to me. Why– it was absurd!
He nodded. "I believe that would be best."
For some reason unbeknownst to me, I felt myself starting to panic. I shook my head fervently; I could feel my eyes growing wider by the second. I stepped away from him and ran a hand through my hair in exasperation. Carlisle quirked a brow as worry painted his features.
"Son?"
I continued shaking my head as I started pacing back and forth.
"No. No, no, no. No. No! NO!"
The words echoed throughout the forest. Who was yelling? They were so loud. I felt someone taking a knife and stabbing my chest. A scream broke through my lips as I fell to the ground.
"Make it stop!" The voice yelled again.
Without realizing it, I had torn my shirt to shreds, desperate to remove the knife from my heart. It was then that I realized that I was the one screaming. Carlisle wrapped his arms around me, as if to hold me together. The pain subsided and I started to sob tearlessly into his shoulder.
We sat like that for an hour. He comforted me in the only way he knew how as I finally allowed myself to feel. Anger wasn't a new emotion for me, but what I was experiencing now went much deeper than that. There was an intense sorrow that I had buried for twenty years. It was true despair. I allowed myself to feel that sorrow for an hour, weeping uncontrollably, until I was able to lock away the pain once more. I didn't have the strength to face it fully. Not yet. As I locked it away, I buried the key much deeper this time.
I took a deep breath, sighing in relief when the numbness washed over me once again, before I pulled away from him. We stood up in sync and I looked at him solemnly.
"I'm not dropping out," I told him, my jaw clenched.
The look on my face told him it wasn't up for debate. His thoughts were full of disappointment and worry.
"Can I ask why not?" His voice was gentle, fearing I would break again.
"Because.. Because I can't," I stated.
I didn't have an actual reason. All that I knew was that I literally couldn't. That wasn't an option.
"Why?" He asked, curiosity seeping through his thoughts.
I was silent for a moment, trying to figure out why myself. Finally, I shrugged. "I really don't know," I admitted with a sigh. "I just know that I can't."
He pressed his lips into a thin line and mulled my words over. "Alright," he breathed out. "How about this then?" He paused, gauging my reaction before continuing, "How about we all leave, together, as a family, and you can start at a new school?"
"No," I was quick to say, fighting back the panic once again. "I'm not leaving. You all can leave if you want, but I'm staying here." My chest rumbled, building up a growl.
He stared at me with a look of incredulousness. "Edward, none of us judge you for this. Emmett, himself, has had two different encounters with bloodsingers. Each of which ended in tragedy, which you are already aware. Dropping out or leaving isn't a sign of weakness. It's simply sparing the girl her life."
I was, once again, aghast. "That's what this is about?! The human?! You want to leave over her?!"
He furrowed his brows. "She is partly the reason, yes. Edward, what were you doing at the cemetery?"
His guard dropped for a split second, alerting me to the fact that he, too, thought I was stalking the girl to kill her! A predator stalking his prey— just as Emmett had thought! I scowled.
"I wasn't stalking her!" I exclaimed, trying to reign in my temper. I managed to speak a bit more calmly, "And I certainly wasn't plotting on killing the girl."
"Then what were you doing?" He questioned.
"I didn't know she'd be there," I spoke firmly, willing myself to believe it. "It was… a coincidence."
Yeah, that's what it was. A strange coincidence. He looked at me skeptically.
"Carlisle," I sighed, locking eyes with him. "I will not harm the girl. You have my word."
His golden eyes flickered before he sighed in defeat. "I believe you."
I meant what I said. I wouldn't harm her. I wouldn't allow a human to have that much power over me. Not again. Despite how tempted I was to sink my teeth into her neck, I would do no such thing. I had dealt with temptation before. As long as the girl didn't get too close (which she definitely wouldn't), then I could control myself. I was certain of it.