Todoroki left him, in the end, after tying him to a pillar in the middle of this barren warehouse, without telling him when he'd come back.
If he'd come back.
Perhaps it was the Hero's way of dealing with him: let him freeze until not even his Quirk can melt the ice covering his body.
To pass time, Midoriya began counting. At two hundred seventy-eight, the tip of his nose was so cold he wondered if his nostrils were frozen. At five hundred twenty-six, he had trouble flexing both his fingers and his feet. At seven hundred ninety-nine, he was convinced his ears had fallen off. At two thousand eight hundred and two, he wondered what would be more painful between dying from the cold or facing his mother's stricken face as she learns her son was the Judge. At five thousand nine, daylight yielded to the night and he couldn't see a thing ahead of him.
When he reached one billion, he stopped believing Todoroki would come back.
The Hero left him a wool blanket, as if he had thought of everything before intervening during the Judge's operation, but Midoriya had kicked it away out of spite. It laid a few feet away, covered by a thin layer of frost.
He would've smacked his head against a wall because of his stupidity if he could've.
His body is seized with shivers. Thirst is scorching his throat. Each time he swallows feels like ingesting broken glass. He clenches his teeth to stop them from clattering but it hurts his jaw to keep it grounded. He rubs his hands together as a desperate way to create heat, blowing in them but even his breath is cool and makes his attempts fruitless. The warmth he seeks avoids him.
He startles when two hands grasp his, so hot that the slightest graze makes him start, and light shines in the warehouse, blinding him.
"Ah, look at you." Midoriya blinks wearily, his hazy vision narrowing down to a clash of white and red hair, and two eyes of different colours gazing down at their locked hands. Midoriya follows his gaze, knowing it can't be a hallucination because his touch is too real to be invented. "I gave you a blanket to keep you warm. Why did you throw it away?"
Midoriya chews his lower lip, tearing his gaze away. Todoroki doesn't berate him, rather sighing and leaving his side briefly to pick up the discarded blanket. He warms it in seconds using his Quirk, then spreads it over Midoriya. The latter hums in content, snuggling in his newfound warmth.
"See? It's better that way," Todoroki nods as he pats Midoriya's shoulder. "Don't throw it again."
It's hard to be angry at someone who gave him what he refused to admit he needed. If anything, Midoriya's irritated at his own weakness.
"You're... back?" He croaks, sinking under the blanket until it covers his nose.
"Yes. I wanted to clear some things."
"Did it work?" Not that Midoriya cares, but it's not like there's something else to distract him from the cold.
"Not really." Todoroki shrugs before settling down next to Midoriya. "Scoot over."
Midoriya doesn't have to, for Todoroki slides under the blanket with him, pulling a bit to be sheltered as well. He wonders if the Hero sat with his left side close to him deliberately, but he now gained a personal heater on top of his blanket.
"What are you doing?" He inquires because he has to, or else wouldn't it be too weird if he accepts Todoroki's presence beside him without being wary?
"I'm sitting beside you."
Sitting is a generous word; he's rather slumped beside him. As if to prove his point, Todoroki sinks deeper under the blanket, mirroring Midoriya by burying his nose under the wool. Their elbows bump as he settles down, Midoriya jolting at the sudden touch, but with Todoroki's new position their arms are rubbing against each other. He swallows as he looks away from the Hero, fighting against the urge to squirm away.
"Aren't you supposed to arrest me?"
A cloud passes on Todoroki's face. "I'm supposed to, yes, but I'm officially been branded as the Judge's accomplice."
"You...?"
Todoroki nods, his long sigh emptying his lungs. Without a warning, his head oscillates from left to right like a pendulum before it nestles on Midoriya's shoulder. Midoriya stiffens but doesn't push away the Hero's head, bearing the sudden proximity in silence.
"You're my prisoner and I'm your accomplice. What a pair we make."
"We're not a pair."
"I thought we were a pair. Partners."
"Partners?" Midoriya snorts. "Partners of what? We were working together in the Police Force because Tsukauchi forced us to. It's not like we had a solid partnership."
"Yes, we had. Remember Medusa?"
The image of a blooming cactus pops instantly in his mind, but Midoriya sweeps it away with a shake of his head. "It's surely dead now. We didn't take care of it very much."
"I'm sure Tamakawa will adopt her."
Midoriya rolls his eyes, throwing him a deadpan glance sideways. "It. It's a cactus."
"Her. You named her."
He doesn't answer back, preferring to simmer with irritation, but it's hard to remain irritated over a cactus' denomination with the Hero at such a short distance. His head is turned away from Todoroki, but his shoulder tingles each time the Hero shifts, when Todoroki's nose nudge his collarbone or when his ear brush his curls. His breathing warms Midoriya's skin, coming out in long and deep sighs, and Midoriya's own respiration copies his rhythm.
"What else did he do?"
Todoroki straightens and Midoriya shivers, the cold air assaulting his shoulder where his head used to be. Even if he's still looking away, Todoroki's eyes are like two heavy weights crushing him.
"Are you talking about Endeavor?"
"Endeavor's the only one who could've said you were working with me."
"With the Judge," Todoroki rectifies.
"Yes, that's what I said. With me."
"But you're not the Judge."
Midoriya scoffs, daring to face him. "What are you talking about?"
Todoroki meets his mocking gaze with a levelled one. "The Judge is an idea and an idea doesn't have a definite face. Now it's time for someone else to get the title."
If not tied to the pillar, Midoriya would've backed away or punched Todoroki. He tests his restraints, feeling the rope digging into his skin, perhaps deep enough to draw blood. Todoroki must've felt the shift in the atmosphere, the temperature in the warehouse dropping below the ten degrees and not only because the night was gaining ground, the light above them flickering not only because of the wind drifting through, the distance between them that was comforting and almost intimate becoming more ominous... But instead of moving away, he edges closer and puts one grounding hand on Midoriya's shoulder.
"The Judge is not who you are, Midoriya. It's just a thought that you were so obsessed with that you decided to make it reality, so you became this thought. But it's not you."
"Shut up," he hisses, his fists curling.
"I told you before that you have two faces. One is real and one is fake but you forgot which is which. I can tell after all this time spent with you that the Judge isn't the real one."
"Shut up!" Midoriya yells, writhing against the bonds. "You don't understand."
"I don't understand everything and no one can, but I do understand the pain, the loneliness and the feeling of never being enough."
"You know nothing about me!"
"That's not true."
Midoriya freezes. Todoroki's voice wasn't exactly a shout but it was above his usual volume. He was sitting straight against, half turned away from Midoriya as if ready to bolt towards the exit. His eyes are narrowed down as they pin him down like a butterfly under glass.
"You think I know nothing?" His voice cracks and Midoriya's breath hitches. They stare at each other in complete stillness, the rise and fall of their chest as they draw air pausing for seconds. "I've seen you, Midoriya. I've seen all of you."
He can't answer to that, not vocally. He doesn't want to answer because it might prompt Todoroki to continue, but his silence might give the same result. He doesn't know what Todoroki will reveal about him that he tried to forget, that he tried to deny, that he tried to hide from everyone and most of all from himself.
"I've seen your fake smiles and your real tears. I've seen you obeying to Tsukauchi when you were really seething inside. I've seen you pretending to be harmless and to know nothing about the murders when you're the one we've been searching for all this time. I've seen you trying so hard to become the ruthless Judge you dream of but failing because you're being you."
What's worse is that there's nothing Todoroki just said that is wrong. As much as Midoriya would like to look away from him, his eyes are magnets drawn to his face like his soul is drawn to his entire being and unable to pull away. It's been like that since the first time they met, Midoriya realises, or maybe since the very first time he heard Todoroki's husky voice answering the phone.
"If you don't remember who you are, then I'll make sure to remind you."
"I don't want to remember."
The words slip out of his mouth in a pitiful cry that he wishes he could swallow back immediately, but he doesn't have the Quirk to turn back time. He doesn't have a Quirk, period, and that makes him sniffle and his eyes sting.
"I am the Judge," he declares, his breath shuddering. "I killed three people and I will kill a fourth."
Todoroki creeps even closer but his voice lowers. "Stop, Midoriya." One hand hovers above his scalp, skimming through his hair so lightly it can be mistaken for a breeze. "No more lies."
"I am the Judge," he repeats, stubborn, or maybe stupid, he's not sure anymore, but he repeats it nonetheless. "I killed three people and I will kill a fourth."
And Todoroki repeats himself as well, "Stop," he says, and he's so close Midoriya doesn't see the ground anymore but Todoroki's knees sticking together, folded under his body. His hand is more present this time, tugging at some locks with enough strength to make itself known but without hurting him. "No more lies."
"But I'm..."
Todoroki adds more pressure as he ruffles his hair, his other hand sneaking behind Midoriya and looping in his back. With the slightest push, like one blowing a candle or another placing the ultimate card on a castle made of cards, he tilts Midoriya forward into his arms. The descent is slow, almost agonisingly so, but Todoroki guides him without loosening his grip. He's his anchor, drowning Midoriya along with him and they sink underwater with no sound. It's not until he's fully in Todoroki's embrace that he realises the rope around him is a mere souvenir except for the red marks around his skin.
"No more lies," he murmurs, and Todoroki hums in approval.
They're plunging deeper and he wishes they will never be pulled back from the dream to reality.
But it's impossible to breathe underwater.
Todoroki doesn't leave, this time.
They remain together in the warehouse. Todoroki warms the blanket using his Quirk, but it isn't necessary since their body heat envelops both of them.
It's the first time Midoriya sees Todoroki sleeping, or perhaps he's feigning to sleep, no one can truly know, but if he's faking then he's an excellent actor, better than Midoriya can ever dream to be. He almost asks him if he's sleeping but his lips are sealed as he contemplates him. Todoroki sleeping is like watching a lake, sprawled on a grassy knoll and being mesmerised by the stillness of the water as much as by the depts it conceals.
Midoriya holds a tentative hand above Todoroki's head, as if trying to peer below the water's surface without creating a ripple that would alert him of his presence. There's a balance he doesn't dare to break, and the shyest dip can shatter the illusion, thus he makes no more. As the sun dawns outside and reveals things that couldn't be observed before, Midoriya begins to distinguish his reflection in Todoroki much clearer now.
When light floods the entire warehouse, Todoroki twitches, frowning before his eyes flutter open. Sleep has cast a haze over them, but after blinking repeatedly the grogginess clears. Midoriya smiles as Todoroki stares at him, his lips parted.
"You're still here?"
He chuckles, "Why would I leave? You're my accomplice, right?"
Todoroki opens his mouth then closes it, eyes gleaming with a new light. He turns away and Midoriya wonders if he said something wrong, if he'll receive another speech on the Judge's identity.
"Todoroki-kun, are you alright? Did I...?"
He falters when he notices Todoroki's shoulders shaking. His mind spins as he searches for the right words to apologise when he's interrupted by a discreet snicker. When the Hero faces him again, his face's crinkled up in a smile.
"I'm sorry," he chokes, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. "I must be tired."
"Don't be sorry for having emotions, silly."
The comment sounds inoffensive but Todoroki's smile droops. As aloof as he may seem, Midoriya knows emotions can overwhelm him like no other since he's so used to suppressing them. Once he feels, Todoroki's entire soul will be in tune with his emotions.
Midoriya folds his legs, his head tilting to the left. "Now what?"
"Now we move."
"Move?" He repeats, startled. Todoroki is already rising, stretching his back and rubbing the back of his neck with a slight grimace. "Where do you want us to go?"
He shivers when the Hero removes the blanket he wrapped around himself and buries it in a backpack. If Midoriya knew any better, he would've thought the backpack just materialised itself but he assumes it was hidden from his sight before.
"Put this on."
Midoriya catches the bundle tossed to him, recognising the bright colours. "An All Might hoodie?"
"To hide your face."
"You should be the one hiding his face," Midoriya replies as he slides it over his head, compliant. "You're much more recognisable than I could ever be."
"I have a disguise of my own," Todoroki retorts as he takes out a dark wig, tortoise shell glasses and an oversized pullover. "But we're not leaving together."
Midoriya stops dead. "What did you say?"
Todoroki puts his wig on, rotating it a little so the long bangs hide his scar. "We're recognisable because of our physique but also because we're travelling together. So I'm letting you go on your own. You can leave now, if you don't want to see me again."
As strange as it is, Midoriya isn't even tempted to leave. Twenty-four hours ago, he was crafting his biggest scheme and planning on framing Todoroki who always had his suspicions concerning his double identity, and his agents had been waiting for his signals. Now he was left abandoned, taken away from the failure he used to call his most intricate plot, and his only company consists of the man he intended to frame.
Even if he left, there was nothing to go back to.
And if he left, he would never forgive himself.
"I'm not leaving you, Todoroki-kun."
"I don't think you understand." He was now adjusting the glasses on his nose, his two hands swallowed by the sweater, but his eyes were glaring at him. "I can't hide you forever."
"I'm not asking you to hide me. Besides, I have nothing to hide because Endeavor didn't see my face since I had a mask."
"Mask or no mask, this man has an uncanny intuition. I'm sure he'd know it was you who attacked him if you two crossed each other on the street."
His costume was done when he finished his sentence, his wig a bit askew on his head and his glasses, too big for him, sliding occasionally from his nose. Even when wearing this ridiculous jumper that hugged his neck yet hung loose on his shoulders where the pattern of snowflakes yielded to kaki, Midoriya couldn't deny that Todoroki still looked rather handsome.
"Then we'll make sure we won't cross him."
Todoroki rolls his eyes but a smile is already blooming on his lips. "What a flawless plan."
"Yeah, and what a flawless disguise you have." Midoriya steps forward before he can stop himself, one hand already reaching to straighten the wig. Todoroki's eyes are open wide, following each motion Midoriya's hand makes as he rearranges a few locks. "Black doesn't suit you."
"It's only temporary."
"Yes, temporary."
After all, what they were doing right now was only temporary.
But it's real.
Midoriya lets go of the wig, retreating towards the exit. He can hear Todoroki scrambling to grab his backpack and hurrying to his side. He lets the Hero peeking out of the warehouse, making sure that the coast is clear before stepping outside where light snow was falling, a few lost snowflakes swirling in the cold air before finishing their journey on the ground. One of them ends in Todoroki's hair, a stark white spot against the fake dark hair.
He fights against the urge to sweep it off and busies himself by examining his surroundings. The neighbourhood where they stand isn't much different from the one where Endeavor lives, but the houses are smaller, more decrepit, and in the morning light with the snow still descending from the heavens the empty streets seem to shimmer.
"Where did you take me?"
"Not far enough from Endeavor's house," Todoroki grumbles. "How about going to Yokohama?"
"You're seriously considering to flee?"
"I'm not fleeing. I'm helping you to get away, but then I'll come back to Tokyo."
"And then what? Tsukauchi will question you on the Judge and you'll have to tell the truth."
"I'll tell the truth. I'm not working with the Judge and I don't know who the Judge is. The Judge isn't you," Todoroki reminds him as Midoriya stares at him dubiously. "It doesn't have a face."
"Still bent on that?"
"We said no more lies," is the Hero's final answer. "The question is more about you. What are you going to do once you're away?"
"I'm not going away." He doesn't need to see Todoroki to know the latter glowers at him from behind his glasses, practically oozing disapproval. "I'm not going to give myself away or get caught either," he adds, "but I'm not leaving you."
"I'm returning to the Police Force, Midoriya."
"Yes, I know. I'm going back with you." Todoroki's about to protest but he cuts him off. "I told you I'm not leaving you and I keep my word. No one knows I was the Judge. For Tsukauchi, I'm still working with the Police Force. You, on the other hand, were declared as the Judge's accomplice. Here's what going to happen: we go back to the Police Force, me as a police officer and you that I found near the crime scene in Endeavor's house. Did he see Yaoyorozu?"
"I don't think so, no."
"Then the teargas grenade could've been thrown by one of the Judge's agents. He doesn't have any proof to incriminate you because you didn't throw even it in the first place."
"What do you make of the fact that I saved you?"
"You heard everything. You saw the man confessing to being the Judge and you didn't want Endeavor to kill him because he needs to be trialed, so you decided that it was enough and intervened. You could've have known that your apparition would scare the Judge's agents."
"And now where's the Judge?"
The answer comes to his mind as easily as breathing. "He managed to overpower you and got away in a moment of distraction."
But Todoroki's face crumbles and he shakes his head, sighing, "Even if this story sounded like it really happened, which it doesn't, who's going to believe me anyway?"
"Tsukauchi will because he'll see you're not lying, right? And I believe you."
"Midoriya," Todoroki whispers, "it's not going to work."
"No, it will. You just have to believe."
"Just like your plan to kill Endeavor worked?" Midoriya flinches but Todoroki doesn't give him any mercy. "There are too many loose ends. Why didn't I act when Endeavor was attacked? Why didn't I help him fight against the Judge and his acolytes? How did I manage to find a car so fast, a car that was so conveniently waiting for me just behind the house? Why didn't I neutralise the Judge when he was still struggling from Endeavor's attack? Why didn't I immediately deny Endeavor's accusation of working with the Judge if I'm not guilty? You try to tell this to Tsukauchi and he's not going to buy it. He may have a Quirk that can detect lies but he didn't become a detective solely based on this."
Although Midoriya keeps telling himself another of his plans is going to work, that Endeavor didn't recognise him, he knows it's doomed from the start. His face has become too identifiable. His agents — ex-agents he should say — saw him more than once devoid of any mask and could very well send a letter to the Police Force describing what they did in his name. Maybe they already destroyed his career by now, not that his career was very salvageable to being with.
"Then what do we do?"
He didn't mean for his voice to be so feeble, so transparent. Todoroki doesn't meet his eyes, and Midoriya knows they're back to square one just by hearing the cold tone he speaks with.
"There's no 'we', Midoriya. I'm letting you go and you should take this opportunity. The next time we'll face each other, I may not... I will not spare you."
"We said no more lies. We said no more lies," he says again and pours more of his frustration, of his fear perhaps, in his words when Todoroki doesn't respond, "and you're lying right now."
"If you want my advice, leave Tokyo," he declares as he secures his backpack on his shoulders, not even glimpsing at him. "Leave Japan if you want to be sure."
Yes, temporary.
"Be sure of what? How? Leaving won't change a thing." But Todoroki has already spun on his heels and is walking away, leaving Midoriya paralysed where he is. They're being hauled back to reality and he desperately wants to stay rooted to a chimera. "You can't just leave, not after you saved me with no explanation!"
He doesn't even stop when he speaks, and perhaps Midoriya shouldn't have pushed him far enough for him to give an answer, "Maybe I shouldn't have saved you then."
But it's real.
"Todoroki-kun!"
His call is useless. There's no hesitation in the way Todoroki carries himself, no regret in the way his head is held high and his eyes are fixed on reality while he remains stuck in a dream. Midoriya watches him disappear like a mirage until even his dark wig has faded from sight, the footprints he left in the snow now filled to the brim, erasing every trace he was even present.
Don't leave me.
It was a dream from the beginning.
A beautiful, enthralling but unreachable and temporary dream.