A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so late. I hope you still enjoy it.
Though the nightmare pulled Abbey from her sleep, it wasn't the reason for her panic as she sat up in the bed, trying her best to remember how to pull air into her lungs. She couldn't shake the worry that something was going to go horribly wrong, though she had no idea of what it could be, and as she closed her eyes, she felt Jed move, no doubt woken by her own movement. As he looked at her, Jed was instantly aware of her ragged breathing, and he moved closer, his eyes serious as he tried to catch hers.
"Abbey, what's wrong?"
She shook her head.
"I don't know…I just have a really bad feeling, like something is going to go wrong."
The relief that passed through Jed's eyes unfortunately didn't transfer to her, and Abbey felt her entire body begin to shake so violently that she was sure Jed could feel it, too. Light flooded the room as he turned on the bedside lamp, and he reached out to take her hand in his, his touch light.
"Just try to relax. Everything is going fine. Your examinations have all shown that the baby is fine, we've gotten nearly everything we need to take care of her, and every day, she's better than the day before. I think you're scared because nothing has gone wrong and it's making you uneasy."
Abbey looked at him, such a calm contrast to her own inner turmoil, and when she nodded finally, he gave her a reassuring smile.
"You can do this, Abbey. I know you're scared of messing something up and guess what? You will. But that's the thing about life, no one has any damn clue what they're doing. I'm going to make a ton of mistakes, too. And knowing me, they'll be big ones, because I don't seem to make any other kind. But we can do this together and we'll learn as we go, just like every other set of parents before us."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I know I'm just being stupid and overly paranoid about everything."
"And if you weren't, you wouldn't be the Abbey I fell in love with all those years ago. For the record though, you're not stupid. Just a little anxious, and no one in the world would blame you for that."
He pulled her closer, running his fingers lightly over her hair, and as she laid against his chest, she let her hand come to rest just over his heart.
"I know that it's weak, but God help me, I need you," she said quietly, causing him to frown.
"Why would that make you weak?" he asked, puzzled, "Needing something doesn't make you weak. It means you're smart enough and strong enough to recognize that occasionally you need help. There's nothing wrong with that."
He glanced down at her, smiling when he saw that her eyes were closed, and he kissed her hair softly.
"For what it's worth, I need you, too. I'd be a mess without you. Could you imagine how badly out of control my ego would get if you weren't around to knock some sense into me when I need it?
She laughed, moving back to her pillow, looking at him warmly.
"You'd be a monster," she agreed, "But I wasn't really talking about needing someone to keep you grounded. I need you for so much more than that. You help me realize that it's okay to not be perfect, you make the voices in my head shut up when they're telling me I'm not good enough, and you make me feel like my life is actually worth something. You make me feel like I'm not crazy, just a little neurotic."
He laughed quietly.
"Just a little?"
"Okay, sometimes very neurotic," she amended.
Jed smiled, turning off the light and settling back down on the bed, looking over at her as she closed her eyes again.
"I love you."
Abbey smiled, her eyes still closed.
"Hold me," she said softly.
He pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead softly, smiling when she tucked her head under his chin.
"I've got you, baby," he whispered.
She was silent for a long moment, very near sleep, and when she spoke, he knew it wouldn't be long until she was back in the dreaming world.
"Jed?"
"Hm?"
"I love you, too."
"I know," he said gently, "Get some sleep, Abbey. I'll be right here all night."
"You'd better be," she murmured, already half asleep.
Within moments, she was entirely asleep again, her even breathing filling the room, and as he held her in his arms, Jed said a silent prayer, thanking God for bringing them together.
Something was bothering him, that much was obvious, though Abbey was at a complete loss as to what it could be. She watched him that afternoon as she sat reading a book, not paying the slightest attention to the page in front of her, and when it became clear that he was trying to put on a happy facade, she dropped all pretense, looking at him seriously.
"What's wrong, babe?"
He glanced at her, his eyes never once meeting hers, a sure sign he was about to lie.
"Nothing."
Just as she'd thought. She allowed him a few moments to think that she'd accepted his lie and when she spoke again, her voice was softer, gentler.
"Jed, I'm not stupid. I know you. What's wrong?"
He sighed, shaking his head as he moved from his position on the chair, coming to sit on the opposite end of the couch.
"Today is Neil's birthday," he said quietly, "I'd almost forgotten, but it came to me just a few hours ago. I just keep thinking about how good of a person he was. He always saw the best in everyone and what happened to him wasn't fair. I know that people who commit suicide are in Hell, but it just doesn't seem right to me. Why would God abandon someone who had already abandoned themselves? Just because they were in pain and desperate for it to go away, that buys them an eternity in Hell? How is that a loving God?"
"This year has really been hard on your faith, hasn't it?"
"How could it not be?" Jed asked, looking at her seriously, "I've started questioning everything and I just don't know what to believe anymore. Everything I thought I knew is being challenged and I–I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle that."
"You are, you're just struggling right now. I have an idea. Why don't you take a break from studying for a few hours and go spend some time with your Bible? I haven't seen you read it in a long time, so maybe that's what you need."
He considered her suggestion for a moment then nodded, standing and making his way down the hallway, intent on finding his Bible.
"Maybe start with Joshua 1:9," Abbey called as he walked away.
As he walked back into the room, Jed was flipping through the pages, stopping when he found the passage she'd recommended, and as he began reading, he sat back down on the couch, pulling her legs across his legs.
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go," he read aloud, looking at Abbey seriously, "How did you know that?"
Abbey shrugged.
"I may be a bad Catholic, but I'm still Catholic. I did pay attention in church, you know."
Jed laughed, smiling as he flipped the pages carefully.
"You're not a bad Catholic," he assured her.
"No, I'm pretty sure I am," she replied with a laugh, "Sex before marriage, drinking, swearing…I'm definitely going to Hell. No doubt in my mind."
As he continued to read aloud, skipping to his favourite parts that he hoped would provide him with some clarity, Abbey smiled, a thought occurring to her as she listened to him.
"Jed, I just thought of something."
He stopped, looking at her curiously.
"What's that?"
"If our first baby's soul really is in Hell, at least Neil will be there to look after them."
"Hm…that's a good point."
He began reading again, and as Abbey closed her eyes and let the sound of his voice wash over her, he was pleased to find that it had made him feel better.
"Maybe I should start going to Mass again."
Abbey nodded, her eyes still closed.
"You could. You haven't really been in months. I know you're busy, but surely you could find time to go to church if you wanted. I'll even go with you if you want."
"Really? I would have thought that you'd want to stay in as much as possible, given how tired you've been."
"Oh, I do," Abbey answered with a laugh, "but I think I can manage to attend Mass on Sundays."
"Good. I've missed doing that with you."
As much as she hated to admit it, she'd missed it, too.
In spite of the conversation he'd had with Abbey earlier that day, Jed found himself wide awake that night, thinking about all the ways he'd fallen short in his own faith. Joking or not, Abbey had given voice to the fear he'd been harboring himself, and as she slept next to him, he couldn't stop the way his worries began to blossom. Would God forgive him for the sins he'd committed over the last five years? Would he really be punished for all eternity for turning his back on the priesthood and marrying Abbey? He couldn't imagine a just or loving God choosing to punish a loyal believer just for falling in love.
Would He forgive Jed for his lapse in attending church services? Would He really condemn their first child to Hell for something they'd had no control over? It simply didn't seem right, and each angle he examined it from all gave way to the same answer: he just didn't know. He felt guilty about Abbey offering to attend the services, knowing that her pregnancy made even the most simple of tasks more challenging, but he would have been lying if he'd said that it didn't make him feel relieved to have her with him.
Still, there had been a calmness that settled over them as he'd made his decision, and he couldn't help but wonder if God was pleased with him. Even more so than his own father, Jed had always tried to do what he thought would make God proud, though he was certain he had failed more times than he could count, but hey…at least he tried. That had to count for something…right?
He felt Abbey stir beside him, and when her eyes slowly opened, she frowned at the sight of him sitting up in the bed, glancing at the alarm clock sleepily.
"Jed, why aren't you sleeping?"
"Needed to think. You need to get some sleep, though."
"Can't," she said quietly, "Apparently, Little Foot doesn't want to sleep right now. She's moving like crazy and keeps waking me up."
Jed laughed softly, kissing her once before turning on the light, and when he picked up his Bible, he gave her a smile.
"Would you like me to read aloud, or would you rather I didn't?"
"No, please do. You know I love listening to you read. But wait. Really quickly, would you do something for me?"
"Name it."
"Say something in Latin."
"Okay. Let me think for a moment."
After several seconds, he settled on something simple, and smiled as he wrapped his arm around her.
"Te amo magis quam aliquid in mundo."
"Translation for the second half of that sentence, Jethro?"
He laughed.
"You haven't called me 'Jethro' in a long time. I kind of missed it. Anyway, it means I love you more than anything in the world."
As he began to read from the Bible in his lap, Abbey laid her head on his shoulder, letting the sound of his voice lull her to near-sleep, and each time she thought she was going to completely succumb, the baby shifted, making her eyes open again. She sighed as she moved to lie next to Jed, her fingers lightly trailing up and down his arm as the words of Matthew filled the room, making her remember their days in college when he would often read Bible verses late at night.
"Jed, whatever job you choose to have later in life, it should definitely involve speaking," she murmured, her eyes closing again, "You have the most mesmerizing voice I've ever heard. You could make anyone listen to you if you just spoke long enough."
"I'm glad you think so. Personally, I hate the way my voice sounds."
"I think everyone hates the sound of their own voice to a degree. It's like when you hear yourself on a recording. It always sounds terrible to you, but no one else ever notices anything strange."
"Hm…you may be onto something there," he said with a laugh.
He began reading again, his voice softer when he realized she was close to falling asleep once more, and when he glanced down at her again, she was sleeping soundly, her hand resting lightly on his waist.
"I love you, Abbey," he whispered.
Careful not to move too much, he continued to read silently to himself, hoping that by the time the morning came, he would feel at least somewhat more secure in his faith.
God, he hoped so.
"Abbey, why did you tell me to read Joshua 1:9?"
Abbey frowned, confused.
"Because I thought it would help you. Did you hit your head and lose your memory or something?"
Jed laughed.
"No, smart ass. I meant why did you choose that particular passage? The most commonly quoted passage is John 3:16, so why did you pick a different one? Does it have some personal significance to you?"
"Well," Abbey began hesitantly, "yes, actually. Back in college, when I was really struggling with the doubt about you and Howson, I read that passage a lot. Something about it just really resonated with me and it helped me get through it."
"Doubt about me?" he repeated, "What doubt about me?"
"I felt so guilty about you giving up the priesthood and it made me have serious doubts, not just about you but about my entire life, so I would read my Bible, trying to decipher some kind of hidden meaning in there. I always came back to that passage in particular, and I figured if it could help me, then maybe it could be of some use to you, too."
"You never told me this. Why?"
"I didn't want you to feel like you'd made a mistake or risk you walking away. Jed, I may have felt guilty, but I'm far too selfish. I still wanted you in my life and for a while, that made me really hate myself and question who I was as a person."
"You thought I'd walk away? From you? Abbey, you severely overestimate my ability to live without you. I could never walk away from you unless you asked me to. And were you being serious about hating yourself? Why would you?"
"Because I was the reason you abandoned the priesthood. And as guilty as that made me feel, I ignored it because I was so happy being with you. I valued my own happiness over everyone else's and that made me feel like a terrible person."
"Abbey, no one in the world would ever think you're a terrible person," Jed told her seriously, "A little crazy maybe, for putting up with me all these years, but not terrible."
"I feel like this is all one-sided here."
He frowned.
"What?"
"Marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership, where both people help each other and each one gives a little and takes a little. I feel like I'm always on the verge of some breakdown and all I do is take from you without helping in return. It shouldn't be that way, and I'm sorry."
Jed stared at her for so long that she thought perhaps he'd forgotten how to speak, and when he spoke again, he made no attempt to disguise his surprise.
"Abbey, did this pregnancy rob you of your critical thinking skills? That's insane. You literally helped me last night and yesterday regarding religion and how I was feeling lost. Did you completely forget when I lost my mind after the miscarriage? Or when Neil died? Or we can go back even more to when my father died. You help me every single day, whether it's just by listening to me rant about work, or with bigger issues like last night. I don't know what kind of twisted way you're looking at things, but from where I'm standing, you've saved me from being one of the most insufferable people in the world. I owe you more than anyone I've ever known, and if it weren't for you, who knows where I'd be today?"
"In some church writing sermons all day and trying not to notice all the attractive women in your congregation," Abbey replied with a laugh, "But did you mean that? Really?"
"Abbey, when have I ever lied to you about our relationship and how much it means to me?"
She had to admit, he had her there.
"You're right."
"I'm sorry?" he asked.
"You're right," she repeated with a smile.
"I'm sorry babe, I didn't hear that. Might need to speak a little louder."
"You're right, Jed!" she laughed, her voice louder, "Are you happy now?"
"With you? Always."
"And how was the service? Did you feel as though it helped?"
Looking at Dr. Gillan, Abbey nodded, a smile on her face as she answered.
"I think it did. I've never been as devout as Jed, though it would be difficult to find anyone who is as devout as Jed, but I immediately felt calmer when I walked into the back of the church. We sat in the back because it was our first time, and when it was time for the sacrament, it felt as though the God of the universe came down and wrapped His arm around me. It was the most profound experience I've ever had in my life, and when we left, I knew Jed had felt it, too."
Dr. Gillan smiled, making a note on the piece of paper in front of her.
"That's good to hear. I'm glad it was helpful to you both. I know you mentioned you'd been feeling concerned for Jed's questioning his faith, so I'm sure this was a big relief to you."
Abbey nodded again, feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time.
"I just know he's been struggling so much and I wanted to help. If going to church every single week, even when I would really rather be sleeping, is what it takes to make my husband feel like himself again, I'll do it until the day I die."
"Would you say that attending the services has helped you in your own faith?"
"Yeah, I would. I know exactly how Jed feels, because I've been there before, but when we left the service it was such a…I don't even know how to describe it. It was like God was in the room with us, like He had held us both as close as He could and was telling us that He had forgiven us for everything and that He would always be there."
"Why would you need forgiveness? What sins have you committed lately?"
"I..I guess doubting my faith, being envious of Jed for still being in school, being envious of Sara for her pregnancy that went smoothly, there's so many things."
"You feel envious of Jed?"
"Sometimes," she admitted, "I hate being in the apartment all day and yes, Heathcliff helps, but it's not the same as being in school or working. Of course, right now I wouldn't be able to do much, but I miss it."
"Have you told Jed about this?"
"God, no," Abbey laughed, "He'd never forgive himself if I did, and I don't want him to feel guilty. I offered to do this, so I have no one to blame but myself."
"Just because you offered to do it doesn't mean that you have to suffer in silence. It's your choice, of course, but I would highly recommend that you talk to Jed about it. Even if it's just to tell him that you miss school. Wouldn't you want him to tell you if the roles were reversed?"
Even before she nodded, Abbey knew the answer and cursed both herself for bringing it up and Dr. Gillan for being right. She knew she needed to talk to Jed, but there was nothing she wanted to do less. She'd never forgive herself if he blamed himself.
Her resolve to tell Jed disappeared as soon as she walked into the apartment to find him reading his Bible and tossing a ball to Heathcliff absentmindedly as he waited for her to return. He looked so peaceful and happy that she didn't have the heart to do anything that might cause that to change, and as she walked to the couch, he gave her a warm smile.
"How was your session?"
She shrugged.
"Not bad. We talked about church and how it's been helpful to us."
Jed frowned.
"You spent an entire hour discussing church? Did you switch brains with me?"
"No, we didn't. That was only part of the session."
"What else did you talk about?"
"Nothing, really," she answered a bit too quickly.
Jed noticed her tone and the too-eager way in which she answered at once, and looked at her, puzzled.
"You sure it was nothing?"
"Jed–"
"Look, I'm not going to make you tell me, but you're not one to lie to me, so I'd really like to know the reason you just did."
Abbey frowned.
"What makes you think I lied?"
He looked at her, silently asking her just how stupid she thought he was, and when she sighed, she sat down on the couch, staring at her hands.
"I don't want you to hate me."
"What horrible crime have you committed that could cause that?" he asked, "From what I can tell, you haven't murdered anyone, and you certainly haven't had an affair unless you weren't really at your psychiatrist's office just now."
"I miss going to school," she said finally, "and sometimes, watching you leave every day to do something I love, knowing I'm going to just sit here in this apartment, it makes me so envious that I can't stand it. I don't like feeling that way, and especially not about you. I should be proud of everything you're doing, and don't misunderstand me because I am, but…"
"You feel like you're watching your life go by from the sidelines?" he asked gently.
Abbey nodded.
"Not all the time, but yes. I miss having something to do, a purpose."
"Well, I have an idea, if you're interested."
"Okay."
"I can take advanced classes this coming semester and try to graduate early. If I can swing it, I could graduate in two years instead of four, and we'd be back home sooner, which means you could go back to school earlier."
Abbey frowned, thinking for a moment.
"What about Elizabeth?"
"We can ask your parents for help, or hire a babysitter. It wouldn't be the first time people have let someone else watch their child for a few hours, and it could be a good way for her to meet new people before throwing her into school."
"Throwing her into school? Jed, she's a baby, not a baseball."
Jed laughed.
"You know what I meant. What do you think? It would also give you something to do while I take those advanced classes, because I'm going to need your help studying."
"Let me think it over," Abbey answered finally, "but Jed? Thank you so much for even offering to do this for me."
"Anytime, babe. And even if you don't want to try it, I might take those advanced classes anyway. I'm getting a little sick of London, if I'm being honest."
Abbey looked at him in confusion, sure she'd misheard him.
"You love London."
"Yeah, but there are too many painful memories here. I want to go home, build our house, and fill it with happy ones. You were right about London never really feeling like home, and I'm ready to be in a place that does."
"I'm sorry," Abbey said with a smile, "Did you just admit that I was right?"
"Don't get used to it," he quipped, "But I want you to know something, so you'd better be listening to me, Abigail."
"I'm listening."
"You don't ever have to be afraid to tell me something. I might get upset or pissed off, but nothing you could say or do would ever make me hate you."
"I didn't want you to blame yourself," she said softly, "It's not your fault and I know you already feel guilty about my taking time off from school."
"Why don't you let me worry about that…" he told her gently, wrapping his arm around her, "Have I ever told you that you stress too much?"
"Only a million times."
"And yet, you still do it."
Abbey laughed.
"It's not exactly something I can control, you idiot."
"Yeah, I know. But just remember, you're Abigail Bartlet, and you can do anything. And you can believe me, I'm not exactly some moron, I happen to be very smart."
She laughed again, shaking her head as she looked at him.
"About some things, yes. Other things, not so much."
"That's why I have you," he replied with a smile, "The things I don't know, you do. You make my entire universe blaze with knowledge and I can never repay you for that."
"Jed…" she said with a smirk, "Are you just trying to get laid?"
"That depends," he said, "Is it working?"
She kissed him slowly, pulling him closer by the fabric of his shirt, a smile on her face as she pulled away just long enough to answer.
"Yeah, it's working."
As Abbey read the words on the piece of paper over and over, she couldn't stop the way the tears fell from her eyes, and when she felt Heathcliff nudge her lightly with his nose, she jumped, not expecting the touch. Reaching out to pet his head, she took comfort in knowing that Neil had trusted them enough to let them keep the dog, and as Jed walked in, towel-drying his hair, he frowned at the look on her face.
"What's wrong?"
"I was just reading Neil's note again. Jed, I know I didn't know him as well as you did, but I really miss him."
Jed moved closer, nodding as he sat down, and when he reached for her hand, he gave her a sad smile.
"I miss him, too. He'd be so excited about our Little Foot, and as we get closer, I keep thinking about what kind of uncle he would have been."
"The best kind. He would have taught her everything he knew and who knows, maybe they could have bonded over a shared hatred of French."
Jed laughed softly.
"Yeah, maybe so. At least we have Heathcliff. And we can tell her all about him and the sweet person he was. Just because he's gone, that doesn't mean his memory can't live on. You know, when you really stop to think about it, we're all just stories in the end, unless we do something truly remarkable. That's how we keep living even after we're gone, through the stories that are passed down."
Abbey frowned suddenly, her eyes filling with tears again, and Jed shook his head, unsure of what he'd said to upset her.
"What is it, honey?"
"I just thought…Jed, what about the people who don't have anyone to tell their stories? They just vanish from existence? That doesn't seem like a fair deal."
Allowing a small laugh to escape him, Jed pulled her into his arms, kissing her hair lightly.
"Abbey, only you would burst into tears over people you've never even met in hypothetical situations. I love you."
"They aren't hypothetical, Jed," she insisted, "This kind of thing happens all the time. What about people who are sick and can't remember who they are? How will their stories live on?"
"See, that's what you need to be a doctor for. You can find out a way to stop that from happening. Maybe not in our lifetime, but who knows? Maybe something you work on will be the springboard for another doctor's research. Or maybe you will find out in this lifetime. You're smart enough to do it."
Abbey nodded, somewhat comforted by this scenario, and when she laid her head on Jed's shoulder, her voice was soft as she spoke.
"Do you think anyone will remember us after we're gone?"
"I would hope our daughter does. And if she has children one day, then she can tell them all about how wonderful we were. And we can do that while we're still alive, too. We'll be the greatest grandparents in the world one day."
"Slow down, Jed," Abbey laughed, "We don't know that Elizabeth will even have children. She's not even here herself yet."
"Yeah, but it's getting closer. Only a few months left now and we'll have our perfect little baby girl."
God, she hoped he was right.
Jed never knew what caused his thoughts to race at night, though he strongly suspected it was due to having no other activities to distract him, and as he listened to Abbey singing in the shower, he lit a cigarette, pulling the smoke into his lungs as he tried to sort through the jumbled mess in his head. Several minutes passed as he tried to convince himself that he'd been right to register for the advanced classes the next year, and the more he thought about the distressed look on Abbey's face, the easier it became.
He couldn't stand the thought of her spending her time in the apartment, going insane from boredom and harboring even the slightest envy towards him, and he frowned as he realized just how worried she'd been about telling him. He couldn't understand how she was still worried that he would leave or hate her simply for being human, and each time he thought about it, the more confused he became. He'd never given her any reason to believe that he would ever walk away, yet it seemed to be a very real fear that stayed with her, and as she walked into the room, he made it his mission to find out why.
"Hey, Abbey?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what might occur, placing his cigarette in the ash tray.
"The other day, when you mentioned your therapy session to me, you seemed worried that I would leave or hate you just for having human emotions. Why is that? You should know by now that I'm not going anywhere."
She sighed, looking at him slowly.
"Do you remember all the dates Millie went on in college?"
He nodded.
"Yeah. What about them?"
"Well, each time she said something that they didn't agree with or that they thought was out of line, they left her. Even the ones who claimed to be different, the ones who said they loved her. I saw how badly that hurt her, sometimes even physically, and it scares me. I know you mean the things you say now, but what if you change your mind someday?"
"I'm not going to change my mind. Real love and trust doesn't work like that. It doesn't simply disappear overnight or because of a conversation. And if I ever felt like we were heading in that direction, I would talk to you first and I'd hope you would extend me the same courtesy."
"Of course I would, and logically, I know that. I just feel like one day I'm going to mess up in a big way or do something that will cause you to realize you made a mistake."
"You still think I made a mistake by being with you and marrying you, don't you? That's what this is really about, isn't it?"
"Jed–"
"Abbey, if you can't see by now that I didn't make a mistake and that I would have eventually given up being a priest anyway, then I don't know what to tell you. What do I have to do to make you understand that I didn't make a mistake and that it was the right decision?"
"I can't help it if I think you're wrong!" Abbey snapped, "I can't stop the way I feel and asking me to is being completely unrealistic."
"I wasn't asking you to! I was simply suggesting that you try looking at it from my perspective. Or from your perspective of me, if that helps make it easier."
"Why would I? Jed, you're everything I'm not! You're smart, you're charismatic, you're a good, kind person, and I can't–I'm just not."
"What you are is out of your mind," Jed told her, his voice still slightly angry, "If you can't understand that you are all of those things, then I've completely failed you as your husband."
"What are you talking about?" she asked exasperatedly.
"If I'd done a better job as your husband, we wouldn't be having this conversation, because you would never have any reason to doubt how incredible you are. Look, I can't make your feelings stop any more than you can, but I'm damn sure going to try. Will you please give me that chance and trust me?"
"I do trust you," she whispered, "but–"
"No, no 'but', just end it with you trust me and move on. I trust you and you trust me, that's all that matters. Maybe one day, after enough time has passed, you won't feel so worried about this, but until then, I'm going to do everything I can to make you see just how wrong you are."
"Jed–"
"Abbey, come here."
She walked closer, stopping just before she reached the bed, and he stood up, placing his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.
"I love you. And I'm not going anywhere. The faster you realize this, the better off we'll both be. So will you please, for the love of God, do your best to ignore that annoying little voice in your head that tells you otherwise?"
Abbey smiled, looking at him slowly.
"I don't know whether I should smack you or kiss you."
"Speaking as the intended recipient, I know which one I would prefer."
She took a step closer, kissing him slowly, and when she ran her fingers through his hair, she smiled.
"I'm sorry."
Jed smiled, kissing her again as he pulled her into his arms, breathing in the scent of soap and vanilla perfume, still clinging to her skin even after a shower.
"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have lost my temper."
"Considering the situation, I'd say you handled your temper fairly well, babe. You forget, I've seen you when you're really angry. The last time, I think you ended up kicking Jeremy out of your room over an accident."
"If you're referring to the glass table incident, yes I did. He hurt you and it pissed me off."
"That was an accident, and you know it, Jed Bartlet."
"Still. No one hurts my girl and gets away with it."
She smiled.
"You know, pretty soon you'll have two girls to protect."
"Well, not really."
She raised her eyebrow in question and he smiled.
"You really expect me to believe that if someone hurt our Little Foot that you wouldn't be the first one out to commit murder? I'd have to protect them from you, babe. And you're terrifying when you're angry."
"And don't you dare forget it," Abbey warned him with a smile.
"Yes, ma'am."
A/N: Poor Jed...at least he's on the right track now.