||Edward's P.O.V||
There were forty-seven beetles crawling on the aged oak tree in the backyard. Make that forty-eight. The gaping hole in my chest throbbed painfully as I stared out my bedroom window. This was the first night I had spent away from her in two weeks, and I felt like I was going crazy. Counting was my only distraction. Other than that, she occupied each of my thoughts. There was a tugging sensation in my chest, seeming to be pulling me in her direction-As if the universe itself wanted me to be near her.
But no. She didn't want me there tonight. It was clear that she wanted some space and giving her some distance was the least I could do. I knew she would grow tired of our arrangement eventually, but I hadn't expected it to be so soon.
"Brooo!" Emmett's booming voice pulled me from my thoughts as he barged into my room.
I turned and shot him an annoyed glare. His thoughts alerted me that he wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.
"What do you want, Emmett?" I asked with a sigh.
He shrugged nonchalantly as he leaned against the doorway. "Just wanting to check on ya." You're never here anymore. "You know you can talk to me, right?"
Guilt coursed through me in that moment. How would he react if he knew that I was spending each of my nights with the very girl they believe I despise? With the very girl that also happens to be Alice's niece. With the very girl that Emmett, himself, was oddly protective of.
"I'm fine," I stated curtly, managing to keep the emotion out of my voice.
He arched his brows, not buying it. "Oh, really? Is that why you've resorted to counting again?"
I shook my head as I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. School would be starting in a couple of hours. I would be seeing her in less than one hundred and twenty minutes. The pain in my chest eased up at the thought, allowing me to take a deep breath.
"I'm not counting. Just admiring the view," I responded, turning to face the window.
He snorted. Admiring the view? "Trees?"
"Trees," I mumbled as I started counting down the seconds.
I was the first to arrive to class for obvious reasons. The empty seat beside me caused a pit to form in my stomach. I was on pins and needles as I waited for her to stride in. My head swiveled every time the door opened, and my heart dropped every time it wasn't her that walked into the classroom. I stole a quick glance at the clock that hung in the front of the room and frowned. She was always one of the first students to arrive; this was unlike her.
Two minutes and twenty-nine seconds passed before Alice and Emmett sauntered in, taking their seats behind me with matching smiles. My sister eyed me curiously, tilting her head to the side as she studied the forlorn expression on my face.
Are you okay? She questioned via her thoughts.
I nodded once in response to her silent question. Emmett started spinning his pencil like a top, over and over again. Is he always this annoying or am I just extra irritable today? I was guessing it was the latter.
My face lit up like a Christmas tree, despite my best efforts, when she walked into the classroom ninety seconds later. She was wearing that blue drawstring dress that took my breath away all those weeks ago. It hugged her curves like its life depended on it, causing desire to pierce through me like a knife as I breathed in her beauty. The second I saw her, it felt like a giant weight was lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again. I inhaled deeply, tasting her delectable scent in the air and relishing in it.
Her golden waves were half pulled back with stray curls framing her face in a delicate manner. Her sapphire eyes appeared to dull as she made her way towards me, clearly avoiding direct eye contact. It took every ounce of self-control I possessed not to reach out and caress her face when she sat down beside me. All I wanted to do was touch her- Feel her- Drown in her.
The electricity that hummed between us was nearly impossible to ignore. I clenched my fists, my body going rigid as I fought against the urge to touch her in some way.
She turned in her seat to face my siblings, flashing them a smile and muttering, "Good morning."
Usually, she would flash me a discreet smile- Her secretive smile was what I clung to until I was able to meet her in the utility closet after first period. This time, however, she did no such thing. All throughout class, she appeared to be paying close attention to the lecture. Her eyes never once strayed to me. Fear gripped me at the knowledge. Was I really losing her so soon?
Perhaps I was simply being paranoid. Maybe she didn't sleep so soundly last night? I knew that she was plagued by nightmares. According to her, my presence somehow managed to keep the nightmares at bay. Maybe my not being there last night contributed to a bad night's sleep. I knew that lack of sleep negatively impacted humans-Perhaps she was simply feeling those effects.
Despite Emmett and Alice sitting directly behind us, I couldn't resist resting my knee against hers in a seemingly casual manner. Judging by their thoughts, neither one of them seemed to notice. Lynna certainly did-Her heart stuttered in her chest before picking up tempo. The sound was literal music to my ears. I felt the electrical current flowing through me due to the simple gesture and breathed a sigh of relief as I felt myself instantly relax.
When the bell sounded, signaling the end of class, Lynna was the first one to jump out of her seat and make a beeline for the door. I was right on her heels, desperate to get to the closet so I could be alone with her at last. To my dismay, she didn't take her usual turn-She bypassed the empty hallway leading to our secret spot and went straight for her locker instead. My heart dropped to my stomach as pure fear coursed through my vines.
I leaned against the wall and watched from afar as she dug through her locker. Her brows were knitted together, appearing to be deep in thought. Maybe she just needed to stop by her locker first? Maybe she was still planning on meeting me? Perhaps I should go wait for her there? Just as I was about to turn to head that way, Tyler made an appearance. My entire body stiffened when his eyes lit up the second he saw her.
I'm loving that dress on her, he mused via his thoughts.
My hands clenched into fists as I glared at the nuisance of a boy. Given his thoughts, he was planning on asking Lynna to the gala. The fear I felt was quickly replaced with rage before I was able to calm myself down. I knew she would say no to the boy, but that didn't stop me from wanting to remove his head from his shoulders. Emmett and Alice sauntered over to me with curious expressions.
"What's going on?" Emmett asked with a grin, his eyes flitting to Lynna.
Alice pursed her lips when she saw Tyler approaching her niece.
"Tyler's fixing to ask Lynna to the gala," I explained, struggling to keep the bitterness out of my voice.
"So?" He challenged. What's the big deal?
I shrugged, trying not to seem so tense. "Just watching the show," I muttered in annoyance. "He deserves to be knocked down a few pegs."
Alice's eyes widened. "Why do you say that?" He's perfectly nice.
I scoffed. "You can't read his mind," I sneered.
They both leaned against the wall on either side of me, evidently wanting to watch the show for themselves. Tyler ran a hand through his dark hair before approaching Lynna with a jovial smile. She closed her locker a bit harder than usual, a gasp flying through her lips when she saw Tyler standing there.
"Hey," he greeted her, shifting his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other. Damn, why am I so nervous?
"Hey," she returned the greeting, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.
A forced smile flitted to her lips. Her eyes slowly trailed my way; my breath hitched in my throat as her sapphire orbs locked with mine. I stared at her intensely, my eyes shifting towards our secret place, trying to relay the message. She pressed her lips into a thin line before ripping her eyes from mine, leaving me to wonder if she had understood or not.
"What if she says yes?" Emmett asked in a whisper. "That will only boost his ego."
My jaw clenched at the thought. "She won't," I stated sternly.
Alice raised her brows, as if to challenge me. "She went to the dance with him, didn't she?"
I fought the urge to shoot my sister a glare; I couldn't afford to let her know how deeply her comment affected me. She started playing different scenarios in her mind. I think they're cute together, her thoughts read.
I didn't bother stifling an eyeroll at that. Tyler rubbed his hands together before he placed them in his back pockets. He was a bundle of nerves.
"Um, so..." He trailed off, earning a quirked brow from the girl that my heart was calling out for.
"What is it, Ty?" She wondered in a dull tone; she clearly wasn't in the mood for him to beat around the bush.
Her eyes drifted to me and my siblings once more. Emmett and Alice both smiled her way. She narrowed her eyes at them in a playful manner. She was well aware that we were listening in.
"The gala," he blurted out, causing her eyes to lock with his once more.
"Yeah. Don't worry. We're going to help out with decorating like we do every year," she said to him, clearly eager for the conversation to be over.
I couldn't help but feel smug at that. She obviously wasn't interested in the boy. How couldn't he see that? Tyler shook his head.
"That's, um. That's not what I meant," he was quick to say.
She studied his face for a moment before her eyes lit up with realization. "Oh," she squeaked out, her cheeks blushing a delicious shade of pink. "Well, what about it?"
Suddenly, her tone was much softer with him. Why?
"Will you be my date to the gala?" His words ran together, his face turning red.
I froze like a statue as I awaited her answer. Her rosy lips parted slightly. Her delicious blush deepened, causing her blue eyes to appear to glow against her sun-kissed skin. She shyly tucked a golden curl behind her ear as her eyes met mine for a brief second. She nibbled on her lower lip, causing desire to spread through me from afar. Even now, I yearned for her. I was that much more desperate to get her alone now. I needed to feel her warm body pressed against mine. I longed to trail my hands down her sides, gripping her small waist as our bodies contoured perfectly against one another. I couldn't wait to kiss her in that tight little dress of hers.
Tyler's eyes were dancing with hope when she met his gaze. She opened her mouth to speak, and I couldn't stop the smirk that overtook my face as I waited for the answer to tumble from her perfectly luscious lips.
"Yes," she breathed out.
The world stopped spinning. My jaw hit the floor as blinding rage and jealousy took hold within me. I gritted my teeth with a force that would crush diamonds. Emmett snickered quietly beside me while Alice smiled brightly.
"I knew it," my sister teased in a sing-song voice.
The hugest of grins spread across Tyler's face. "Really?"
She nodded, returning his smile. "I'd love to," she said to him, her blue eyes dancing.
I was in shock. How could she? Why would she? Was this her way of getting back at me for refusing to go with her? Or does she actually want to go with the obnoxious human boy? Before any more words were spoken, I spun on my heels and stalked away, unable to hide the look of anger and disgust on my face.
Before Chemistry, I was determined to speak with her privately. I spent all of last period in the woods, getting a hold on the negative emotions coursing through me-The main one being jealousy. I had forgotten just how strong and overbearing that particular emotion is. Granted, I had experienced it numerous times within the past few weeks, but never quite as strongly as today. The jealousy I felt when she went to the dance with Tyler failed in comparison to this. Back then, Lynna wasn't mine. She wasn't mine to hold. Mine to kiss. I mentally slapped myself-She still isn't. But she is-In a way. Right?
I was tucked inconspicuously in a corner, waiting for her to walk out of gym. Alice and Rosalie waltzed through the exit, casting me wary glances before they shook off my weird behavior and went to find their mates. Lynna was one of the last students to walk out. Her sweet scent wafted my way, causing my throat to burn before I reached out from the shadows and gently grabbed her arm, pulling her towards me.
A startled gasp flew through her lips, her eyes widening before she realized it was me. My hand felt like it was on fire where it made contact with her skin, the sparks dancing through my palm and traveling through my body. I relished in the feel of her before reluctantly releasing her. She narrowed her piercing blue eyes at me.
"What the hell!" She hissed in a whisper, looking around at our surroundings to see if anyone had seen us. "Someone could have seen you, Cullen."
Yesterday, she was all for everyone 'knowing about us'. Why the sudden change in attitude?
"We need to talk," I spoke through clenched teeth as I nodded in the direction of our secret spot.
She folded her arms across her chest in a stubborn fashion. "Can it wait?" She asked dully. "We need to get to class."
My eyes flashed angrily. "No, it can't wait. Go on," I demanded, gesturing for her to lead the way.
She released a heavy sigh before obliging. I followed behind her, but not too close as to draw attention. She trusted that I would make sure no one noticed as we sneaked into the utility closet. The second I closed the door behind us, I was no longer able to resist her.
The anger and jealousy I felt gave way to burning desire as my lips found hers. I kissed her greedily-Hungrily, as my lips devoured hers. I couldn't stifle the raspy groan that escaped my throat when her hands wound into my hair, pulling me closer, causing my groin to throb for her.
I backed her against the wall and gently pressed my body against hers, unable to resist as my hands trailed down her sides and grasped her hips. I longed to lift her form-fitting dress and feel the warmth of her bare skin against me. She moaned against my lips; the sweet, sultry sound was electrifying. It blinded me to rationality as I instinctively started swaying my hips against her, my body desperately craving the motion. My hardened groin screamed in protest when she broke the kiss, pulling away abruptly. Her heartbeat echoed loudly against the confined walls, taunting me.
She cleared her throat and pushed against my chest. My hand wrapped around hers that was on my chest as I gazed down at her longingly. All I could think about was kissing her again. I was dying to hear her moan for me. She was my drug, and I was addicted; I was desperate for my 'fix'. Our brief kiss wasn't enough to satiate the hunger I was feeling for her.
"I need you," my words came out as a moan as I leaned down to kiss her again.
She turned her face from me, blocking my advance. My heart felt like it was being ripped from my chest as I stepped away from her. It was only when the warmth of her body was no longer wrapped around me that I was able to remember why I had dragged her to the closet to begin with. My eyes narrowed into slits as she looked up at me with those eyes of sapphire that could so easily bring me to my knees.
"What did you want to talk about so bad?" She asked, cutting to the chase.
I leaned against the opposite side of the wall, struggling to get a grip on the many emotions sweltering within me. My lust for her was threatening to take over once more, but I was able to keep my desire at bay as I replayed her saying yes to him repeatedly in my mind.
"You're going to the gala with Tyler," I growled out his name.
She nodded once. "What about it?"
I breathed out a scoff. "Seriously, Lynna?!"
To my surprise, a sensual smirk sprung to her lips. "Jealous, Cullen?"
My brows flew up my forehead. I had never been one to admit my jealousy to her before, but there was no way I could deny it now.
"What do you think?!" I snarled, my face twisting into a scowl.
She shrugged, seeming not to be fazed in the slightest.
"Why would you agree to go with him?" The anger and frustration were clear as day in my voice. "You couldn't possibly have feelings for him, could you? Do you?"
"At least he actually wants to be seen with me in public," was her response.
I clenched my fists as I stared at her pouty lower lip, longing to take it in my mouth and make her moan my name.
"Do you have feelings for him, Holloway?" I asked in a low, rough voice.
That sultry smirk played on her lips once again, causing my chest to build up a growl.
"What if I do?" She taunted, her smirk growing. "What are you going to do about it, Cullen? Hmm?"
"Just answer the question," I spoke through gritted teeth.
Blue fire danced in her eyes. "I don't think I will," she whispered, lifting her chin in defiance.
Just as I was about to crash my lips against hers, she surprised me by opening the door and muttering, "I've got to get to class."
I was right on her heels as she walked out, catching up with her in one stride. We walked side by side through the hall, causing her to quirk a brow at me.
"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed in a whisper.
"Going to class," I responded with a shrug, flashing her a smile.
The students paid us no mind as we walked through the crowded hall.
"You're not worried someone will see us and think something?" She challenged with a frown, staring straight ahead as though she wasn't speaking to me.
"We share the same class, Lynna. It's hardly a crime to walk in the same direction as someone," I said with an eyeroll.
"That's really saying something, coming from you," she muttered in annoyance.
Alice and Jasper saw us at that moment. They both wore matching confused expressions.
You better not be rude to her. My sister threatened via her thoughts.
Jasper, on the other hand, wasn't so easily fooled. He picked up on my emotions quickly, causing him to narrow his eyes at me suspiciously. I tried in vain to keep my emotions in check, focusing on anything but my feelings for the girl beside me. I focused on the hatred I felt for Tyler, allowing it to consume me. My theory worked- Jasper believed Lynna was the cause for the negative emotion; he didn't even bat an eye as we strolled past him and into the classroom. Success.
Lynna sat down at our table and looked up at me with a frown. "What are you smirking about?" She asked in annoyance.
She was so feisty today. "I was just testing a theory. And it worked."
"What sort of 'theory'?" She wondered, turning her body towards me as I took my seat beside her.
Her sweet scent engulfed me when she tossed her golden hair over her shoulder, setting my throat and lungs ablaze. I involuntarily leaned towards her and inhaled deeply, allowing her scent to consume me. God, she was so addicting.
"You know how Jasper is an empath, right?"
She nodded. "Yeah?"
"Well, he has no problem picking up on emotions. Obviously," I continued, trailing off as I caught her eye.
"Obviously," she said sarcastically, blinking slowly as if to mock me.
I breathed out a dry laugh. "Right. Well, that makes it difficult to.. be around you while he's.. around."
She raised her brows, tilting her head to the side. "And why's that, Cullen? Scared he's going to realize you don't hate me as much as everyone thinks?"
"Precisely," I confirmed her suspicion. "I can't have him realize that I actually..." I trailed off, unsure what I was actually going to say next.
Her eyes widened, her heart stuttering in her chest. "Actually what?" She questioned in a faint whisper.
Another smirk sprung to my lips as I thought of the perfect answer. "Well, that I actually want to rip your clothes off, for starters."
Her lips parted in surprise. My smirk grew when her heart rate increased dramatically. She inhaled a shaky breath.
"Right," she breathed out, blood pooling deliciously beneath her cheeks; I fought strongly against the urge to reach out and caress her blushing cheek. "So, what was your theory then?"
"That if I focused on a different sort of emotion, he wouldn't pick up on.. Well, you know," I admitted, feeling a bit bashful suddenly.
"Well? What did you focus on?" She questioned, her voice dripping with curiosity.
I swallowed hard against the lump that formed in my throat. My jaw clenched as I responded, "My dislike for your friend, Tyler."
Her jaw dropped before she shook her head slowly. "So, he thought... that your hatred towards Ty was actually directed towards me?"
I grimaced at the use of the nickname before nodding in confirmation. "Yes. He totally bought it."
She gave me a derisive smile, pursing her lips and breathing out a scoff. "You're unbelievable."
My brows knitted together, puzzled by her reaction. "What?"
She shook her head and folded her arms across her chest. She started staring straight ahead, leaning back in her seat and scowling.
My eyes widened in confusion. "Lynna, what's your problem?"
"Just don't talk to me," she spoke through clenched teeth, her head snapping in my direction. Her sapphire eyes glinted angrily as she continued, "Seriously."
Now, I was at a complete loss. What is going on with her? Was she still mad about last night? Was she upset about my being upset that she was going to the gala with Tyler? If I could just read her mind! It wasn't like this with- I stopped short of thinking her name. But I was right. As much as I hated not being able to read her mind, it certainly didn't compare to this. This was absolutely maddening! Lynna was absolutely maddening!
I was pulled from my thoughts when the obnoxious, dim-witted jock walked in. He flashed Lynna a huge smile which I could tell she struggled to return. I narrowed my eyes at the boy, wanting more than anything to knock that goofy grin off his face.
She's so pretty. It's too bad she's stuck sitting with that Cullen guy. His thoughts read, causing me to clench my fists. I bet I could convince her to trade seats. Wouldn't be too hard. She obviously can't stand him.
I was half tempted to grab her and kiss her like there was no tomorrow in front of everyone. The look on Tyler's face would almost be worth the backlash and ridicule that I would receive from my family. Almost- I reminded myself. I was nowhere near ready to be open about my feelings for her-Not to myself, not to her, and certainly not to my family.
That evening, when I went to see her, I noticed that her curtains were drawn which caused an unsettling feeling in my chest. That didn't deter me, of course. They could have been drawn for an entirely different reason. I convinced myself that it wasn't because she simply didn't want to see me.
With a swift jump, I perched myself on her window sill and went to lift the window, only to realize that it was locked. My eyes widened as fear gripped me. Perhaps it was a mistake? Surely, she didn't mean to keep me out.. Did she?
I could hear her familiar heartbeat in her bedroom, so I knew she was there. My shoulders slumped forward in defeat before I lightly tapped on her window. I heard her inhale sharply, her heart stuttering in her chest, before she padded over to the window and pulled her blue curtains back to reveal her beautiful face.
Her features were pulled down in a frown as she made eye contact with me. I nodded towards the lock, pleading with my eyes for her to let me in. She pressed her lips into a thin line before sighing and unlocking the window. I breathed a sigh of relief as I climbed into her room, taking her in my arms without a second thought.
I held her tightly against me, relishing in the feel of her warm body against mine and breathing in her sweet scent. It felt so right having her in my arms- As though nothing else mattered.
She was the one to pull away, running a hand through her golden waves as she did so. It was then that I took note of her puffy eyes and flushed cheeks. I could smell the salt of her tears in the air, causing my heart to drop to the pit of my stomach.
"You've been crying," I breathed out, feeling myself start to panic.
||Lynna's P.O.V||
My chest felt like it was threatening to rip open as I stared into his sorrow-filled eyes. All I could do was nod, feeling another wave of tears coming on. I knew what I needed to do, and I hated it. His face twisted into one of anguish.
"Why? What can I do?" His heart was in his voice as he spoke. "Did something happen?"
I shook my head. "Nothing happened," I assured him, taking a deep breath and stepping away from him.
"Then, what's wrong?" He wondered, his golden eyes boring into mine as if he could see my soul.
I blinked rapidly at his all-too-perfect face. My heart longed for him- That's what's wrong. I knew he would never return my feelings for him. I had gotten myself in too deep, and I was in danger of drowning. I could no longer keep the tears at bay; they poured down my face, saying the words my heart just couldn't say.
His face twisted into a grimace- He looked physically pained as he stared down at me, as though he was suffering right along with me. His hands hovered over my face, clearly not sure what he should do. That was the problem.
"What can I do?" He asked in a whisper, his melodic voice washing over me.
My heart was in my throat as I forced myself to lock eyes with him and whisper hoarsely, "You can stay away."
His mouth fell open, his eyes glazing over before his face twisted into one of anguish.
"What?" He asked, his brows furrowed.
I closed my eyes, knowing I couldn't handle seeing the heartbroken look on his face.
"I can't do this anymore, Edward," my voice broke at the end.
This was killing me. My stomach rolled, and I feared I was going to be sick. A moment of silence passed before I opened my eyes; he was staring at me with the most sorrowful expression.
"Please," his voice was but a faint whisper. "Don't."
I inhaled a shaky breath. Tears continued to roll down my face. I licked my lips, tasting the salty tears before I shook my head. As much as this was going to destroy me, I knew I didn't have a choice. I was already falling for him; I couldn't afford to let this continue- To get my heart even more tangled with his, knowing that his heart would never be mine.
"I'm sorry," I whispered hoarsely, wiping at my eyes. "But.. This," I gestured between the two of us before continuing, "This is.. Over."
His eyes were so full of emotion, causing my heart to lurch longingly in my chest. Then, like the flip of a light switch, his face turned stoic. His onyx eyes seemed to stare straight through me as he spoke in a voice that was void of all emotion, "As you wish."
With that, he vanished- As though he was never even there. I stood there for a moment, stunned, before a sob broke forth from my chest. I threw myself onto my bed and sobbed uncontrollably into my pillow. It felt like my heart had been ripped clean out of my chest and I wasn't sure why. Of course, I have feelings for him, but it still shouldn't hurt like this. The pain was comparable to how I felt when I lost Grayson which was downright ridiculous. Edward hadn't died. He wasn't my lover. I'm not in love with him... Am I? No. No. Of course not, though I knew I was well on my way.
But why did it feel as though he had taken my heart with him when he disappeared from sight?