𝚂𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚆𝚊𝚟𝚎
"People don't like you when they know you don't like them. So you put on that smile and you give them the show of a lifetime as you bite back your desire to scream."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
"They stop the trains just outside the Capitol so everyone can pull up all together in the morning when the crowds have formed. Both of you should go up to the windows and let them see you as we approach."
"Now is a good time to think about who you want to be to them."
"Yes, yes. We need to start building your stories, Florence can get ahead on talking to people. Mags has worked with all sorts to relative success, so if we need to bounce around ideas anything should work."
Breakfast was such a serious affair, completely unlike the relative ease of the night before. So abruptly everyone had jumped straight into work… Mags and Finnick so serious, Caspian overwhelmed as he picked at his meal. No amount of years training for the games fully prepared one for the sudden shift from a person to a tribute. Delilah was more relaxed, sipping away at her coffee as her eyes bounced from speaker to speaker… though she was at an advantage, she was raised a tribute….
Florence looked up from where she was filing away at her nails, perked up as an idea flashed through her head… wonder if her brain was as colorful as her hair, "I am a big fan of a love story, such an easy story to sell and one that never gets old."
"You both would make for a great love story. Just listening and watching you last night convinced me of everything. Have the real love that most others who pull this lack."
"No." Delilah was so abrupt with her response that it made Florence jump in her seat a bit, and everyone had looked her way, curious at the response she was so sure of. "A love story would make us weak. It is not what they want"
So resolute, so sure, no room for questions. Caspian was used to it… everyone else not so much.
Finnick raised his eyebrows, smiling a bit in almost… disbelief, "And how do you know that?"
Because I will always be my family name first…
Delilah scoffed, her eyes going cold as she stared down Finnick. Not a fan of the way he doubted her… she never quite liked being doubted. But if pretty boy needed reassurance that Delilah was a knowledgable part of this… fine, "While we are getting all dressed up for the parade, you three start talking around then. Listen to how they talk about us… what they want from me. Because I promise, my story was picked for me the second my name hit their ears."
She grabbed Caspian's hand under the table, pulling the boy's head her way, "And then when I am right, you and Mags are going to help Cas build his story. I can handle my own." Caspian glanced down at her uneasily, something that went ignored.
"And if you are wrong? If people have decided that the Calamari strength failed with your parents? Your brother? What then?"
Delilah's jaw went tight, her head tilting a bit as she held in her jerk of anger. She really hated being doubted, "Then they can have a love story."
The quiet squeal of delight broke the growing tension between Finnick and Delilah. Every pair of eyes turned on Florence who so unabashedly smiled to them, "I just have never been able to work with a love story before."
Nothing but a show to her.
"We are almost there." Mags nodded to the windows… reeling everyone back in.
It was like a flip was switched on Delilah. Her posture straightening, the cold look on her face melting away, her hands pulling at any hairs that threatened to cause trouble. She didn't look as she did yesterday… not so bored now that she had more control over herself… she almost had a ghost of a smile in her eyes… an easy excitement.
She knew better to go from bored to suddenly jumping off the walls with excitement, because of her behavior yesterday she had to shift gears to a calmer plan. One where she was happy to be there but was a sort of silent threat… honestly she was almost thankful… easier to fake when it is closest to your true self.
She made it to the window just as the train went into the deep tunnel that was their final stretch. The mountains separating the Capitol from the East were large. They would sit in the dark for what felt like minutes despite the speed of the train. Enough time for Caspian to pull himself together, joining Delilah at her window…
"So do we hate each other?"
Delilah glanced over to him, trying to find something to firmly look at in the deep dark, "Not sure either of us would be able to be all that convincing at that."
He took her hand, "So what's your call?"
Her smile quipped up… he would always take her word first… "We can respect each other without being in love… so everything except the love."
He hummed… dammit she loved when he hummed, "Everything except the love… this might be the greatest challenge I have ever faced."
She just squeezed his hand, not daring to move for the kiss when the light could return at any moment. Just grasping his hand, she leaned against the window, waiting… and waiting.
And then the sun was back… and there it was.
The Capitol.
A rainbow of a city. It was just as colorful and over the top as the people who lived inside. Their buildings were tall and flashy, the sun shining onto the colors and creating a mess of a hue in the air. It was blinding and over-stimulating. Everywhere you looked was a yellow as painful as the sun, a blue so bright it could only mean deadly, a pink so deep that it could only be fake. The colors were so grossly artificial and so horrendously overused it was hard to really see the beauty in them.
Their cars were all so… out of this world. Equally as colorful, flashy, so… unnecessary. And the people… the people lined up watching and waving and cheering as the train rolled by. They had slowed in pace, letting the citizens watch them and letting them watch the citizens. All so bizarre to look at. Colorful wigs, strange colors on their faces, strange clothes everywhere. Flashy, over the top, so… overdone… so much work done on each face that despite all doing their best to try and be different in the wildest of ways… they all looked the same. Each and every one of them trying so hard to fit into their otherworldly sense of reality.
From the buildings, to their cars, to the people, and probably even to their pets… it was all so excessive… consumeristic. All of those people so lost in the bliss of their lives of nothing but abundance… that they rallied children to their deaths in the spirit of their own entertainment.
Nothing but a show to them.
Just smile and wave.
She had to keep herself from getting angry… fuck the anger she wanted to feel… but anger wouldn't help her. So she kept her mask, waving at the people as they pointed to her like she was already on display. And she gave into it… as she was taught to do.
Just waving with one hand as with her other she tightened her grip on Caspian even more. Feeling her anger wane when he gave her a squeeze back, equally needing the support in that moment.
XxxxxX
Reaching the train station would mean their next stretch of time before in the public eye again. But it would be far from a break… every minute of the next few hours would be work… being all done up and ready to be flaunted for all to see in the opening ceremony.
Caspian and Delilah were separated from their team, walked as a pair to the Remake Center…
Don't panic. Don't make it difficult. Just get it over with.
She wanted nothing more than to make a grab for Caspian's hand, to let him support her through this. And the very thought of being separated from him made her want to throw up.
If there was ever going to be a moment she couldn't get through on her own it would be this… but that was her exact reality. She would have to face it alone. And that thought wouldn't calm her mind and definitely not her heart that was beating away in her throat.
She couldn't have told you anything about that walk. Not the colors of the walls, the turns she had taken, the faces she passed… it was all growing increasingly more blurred. Her brain going into overdrive as it focused so heavily on the source of her growing panic.
And when she reached her door… hearing the faint chatter of her prep team inside… watching Caspian be led further down the hall… she shut down.
.
.
.
She was snapped back, body jerking and eyes wide as she took in the blinding white of the room she was in. She was just as frantic coming back to reality as she was leaving it… body bracing itself to run as she focused in on the face above her.
A familiar face.
A familiar voice.
Caspian.
The change was nearly immediate.
The panic washed away by an immediate familiarity… comfort… safety. It was Caspian, looking at her with those wide, beautiful, stormy eyes. And if he was there, she had to be okay.
She felt his hand on her cheek… that same gentle touch that had earned her trust so long ago and had yet to break it. He smiled when she leaned into it, reaching up her own hand to grab at his.
"You okay there Del Bell?"
Hate that one.
He only smiled wider at her death stare. Knowing just how much she whined about that particular nickname.
She was brewing up a snapback—
Her eyes shot over to the movement just beyond Caspian. Eyes landing first on the woman and then quickly jumping to the man next to her.
Delilah sat up, lightly pushing Caspian away as she quickly put back up her mask, but eyes giving away the worry flooding in her mind. So focused on that man and his horrible wavy eyebrows, and his sharp mustache, and his eyes filled with—
The woman cleared her throat, doing nothing to stop Delilah's uneasy staring at the man, but catching the man's attention easily… he took the hint when she nodded her head towards the door.
Delilah watched him until the door clicked shut behind him… then her gaze finally and truly went blank as she looked to the woman.
The first thing she noticed were the bright blue eyebrows, paired with a blue lip and red eyeshadow… but after that, she was so… normal. No extreme modifications to her stern face. No colors in her brown hair. Her dress was odd. Black tulle making up most of it with a strange blue collar around her neck. And a small little hat with a veil and starfish.
It was by no means a typical look for anywhere but the Capitol… but was much more pulled back…
"Would you both follow me?"
Caspian finally pulled his gaze from Delilah, looking quickly to the woman and then back to Delilah, ghosting his fingers over her arm as she went to stand… his want to touch and help overshadowed by the knowledge that Delilah wouldn't seem weak to any stranger. Ever.
As long as she was breathing she would force herself to be perfect… and after the whole fainting thing… she needed to prove herself to this woman.
So Caspian would just hover behind, his attention firmly on Delilah as she led them after the woman through a door.
The room they entered was bland… compared to the rainbow outside. Just a pop of color with two blue couches and windows that overlooked the city. It was clean and in a way, luxurious…. But it was so empty… so bleak… all or nothing in the capitol.
Delilah and Caspian sat on one couch as the designer took the other, a tension between the two 18-year-olds and this stranger… Delilah was the quickest to get to business.
"What happened to the previous designer for four?" It really wasn't often that designers ever left the richer districts… and especially four. Four was always considered a fun district to dress… so many colors and places of which to draw inspiration. And more so… four was… attractive. Tanned skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, strong… a common mold, Delilah's mold. And even outside that specific look, four just tended to give the Capitol their favorite people to look at… Caspian would be a favorite.
This woman smiled, easygoing in a way as she jumped into the most informative explanation she could give, "My partner and I beat him out. I'd already been working on some ocean-themed sets, someone higher up saw it, spread the word. They were ready for someone more fresh. Cashgroves had been losing touch the past few years. As you may be aware with how he practically just sent them out in seashells last year."
Caspian had the most outward reaction, a tension lessening in his shoulders. What this woman had said was… comforting. I mean it had to have been a worry…
The Capitol had no problems with exposing the tributes. Having their bodies plastered everywhere. Ripping away all privacy… humanity. Exposing children to the world and making them just deal with it. The designer for four… the previous designer… he had no problem sending out tributes practically naked.
The woman… this new, hopefully better designer eyed Delilah… darting her eyes to Caspian, catching the minuscule amount of space between them… the comfort. She was careful as she kept talking, "I will also be changing things up now that I am more aware of your history… Delilah. I was made aware of some things about why you may have been so nervous about this process."
Nothing changed in Delilah… still so calm…. Caspian though… his head tilted in question… his cloudy eyes boring into this designer as she provided the last hint, "I know some of the men that used to dress you and your mother on your Capitol visits."
Delilah lost her mask there… had to look away, closing her eyes as she tried to clear a memory away… a memory of those men that so loved to poke and prod… a memory she tried so hard to keep locked away.
Caspian had shot up in his seat, alarm in his eyes as he looked down to Delilah… her reaction all he needed as confirmation for what he was thinking. And that was something to work through. All the emotions that flashed through him at once, ranging from anger at these unknown men to a deep care for her. His hand had twitched to reach for hers.
Something this designer had noticed, a bit of a smile twitching at her features, carefully moving on conversation when Delilah had managed to quickly take in a breath, "I figured building this trust first would help ease you into the prep. I will guarantee your prep team are all women as well. I want you to feel as comfortable as you can here."
Finally, Delilah had lost some of her tension, meeting this woman's eyes… meeting that small, comforting smile.
She kept going, watching these two teens closely as she started to ramble about her plans. "Now we have scratched the original plan for the looks. You, Delilah, led to this. Looking at the looks for your family there is a certain theme to play off of. Your two looks will be separate because of this history but will in a way sort of complement one another. "
Caspian was still looking at Delilah, listening perhaps… but focused on her and only her. Delilah was the more responsive one now, nodding as she accepted it, a bit of a smile as she realized that she had been correct on a story already being formed for her. "As long as Cas still has an opportunity to stand out."
The designer popped an eyebrow at the impromptu comment… more so at Caspian's smile… Delilah cringed back.
Don't go getting too comfortable, dammit.
Delilah was always taught to be wary of the designers. Everyone from the Capitol was only on your side as long as it helped them. She would be a vessel for this designer to just show off creations on. Their help was important… a great look so vital… but trusting them… it was a different ask. Being comfortable with them was not something to do.
The designer was quick to ask, "Should we have assumed you two would have wanted to show a more team-like appearance? Seeing you together makes me think of a pair… we can switch plans?"
Caspian's gaze finally looked to the designer, a small part of him subconsciously looking to be a team. But Delilah was firm, "No. We grew up together, so there is a sort of friendship and respect to be expected. It's better we keep our images separate though."
The designer just left it at a gentle nod, leaving power to the tributes, "Well as I said they will be complementary, a shared theme. But it does also provide that separation. Figured it provided breathing room for any story you made as district partners. It could be spun either way for what you decide." She sat a bit taller… suddenly looking just a bit more serious, "Now are you okay with getting started… if it would help, I can pull some strings for you and Caspian to be prepped together."
Once again there it was… that caring…. Delilah's head fighting over giving in and remembering to be cautious. This designer… this woman… she was just… unexpected. She listened, she was thoughtful, she was understanding… it was just… almost…
It didn't matter.
Delilah just nodded, instead sitting taller as she took in a breath, "We can get started," she looked to Caspian for a split second, "Caspain doesn't need to be with me."
XxxxxX
The next several hours were a whirlwind. Four, blurry-faced, unimportant people had come in… her all-women prep team.
Then it was nonstop work. Delilah nearly fell asleep multiple times through her time spent getting cleaned up. Being from a wealthier district meant it wasn't quite as brutal of a beautification as the kids from twelve would no doubt be screaming through. Delilah was at least familiar with the feeling of a wax and, horribly, the pain of eyebrows being plucked… though their method of threading almost did make her eyes water.
But for the most part, it wasn't bad. A luxury treatment she could understand how people bought into. The most expensive and best of products doing wonders on her… especially her curly hair that never quite seemed healthy without products that only her parent's victor money could once buy. She almost felt horrible to say she missed that money… that she missed the excessive lifestyle they provided… earned through blood.
She really tried not to get lost in it. Focusing on the endless chatter of her prep team. The team she would never remember the names of, just simple civilians doing a job any Capitol resident could be trained in. But perfect to listen to for just that. A small glimpse into the minds of the common folk of the Capitol… the ones that fueled everything with their simple enjoyment of everything the higher-ups entertained them with.
So even if she couldn't remember their names or faces in any way… she held onto every word. Especially happy with how excited they were to have "The One To Watch"… Caesar's words may not have worked alone but when coupled with her family name… yeah they had some effect on the Capitol citizens… now she just hoped the elites weren't far off from those same opinions.
Maybe the prep team represented the common folk… the masses… but the masses didn't have the money to send a parachute with a game changer like Finnick Odair's trident.
In almost no time at all, Delilah was stood before a mirror watching her designer make adjustments to the material wrapping around her body. Mind drifting in and out as this woman rattled on about her ideas and thought process.
Delilah getting the tiniest bit caught up on just how… different this was than her capitol visit all those years ago… all those dresses and hairstyles and touchups. So much like a doll to be made up and played with.
But as the designer once more asked Delilah if the current coverage was comfortable… it was another instance of care… one that felt so humanizing in a process she had spent her whole life prepared to be a doll for.
Delilah snapped back when she was asked again, the designer having paused and pulled her hands back… a faint bit of worry on her so ordinary features.
Nodding absently, Delilah blinked herself back to present as the designer smiled and kept on with her fiddling. Finally listening in on what this woman had to say, grounding herself to present with the chatter.
"The tribute parade has to be my least favorite part of this whole experience. All the designs focus so much on just the district part that the individual and what works best for them and what makes them shine is lost. And for it, so much creativity is lost. Look at 12, they just get some coal on them and have no identity of their own. Both the design and the tribute is forgotten to showcasing the most recognizable feature of the whole district. Even for 4, you get toned down to attractive figures wrapped in rope or dressed as giant starfish.
"There is so much more that can be done if you simply draw inspiration from the whole culture instead of taking one thing and making it the whole look…"
Delilah put the chatter further back in her mind as she shifted focus to really look at herself. The almost sheer-like material wrapping around her body, twisting and waving and flattened down just where it needed to be. Overlapped where it was most needed to cover or keep support, gaps in respectable places. The material wrapped down her arms before it was permitted to fall naturally on its own, joining the flowing skirt effect that consumed her legs, the slit the only proof her legs still existed.
She wasn't quite sure how many pieces of material were used and tied together but somehow this designer had made a dress out of unsown material. Held up by one shoulder and lots of double-sided tape. A work of art that changed colors as it flowed down, the lightest of pinks on her shoulder that traveled into a pleasant purple and then finished into a burst of blues and whites and blacks and a sea-like green.
It was simple and yet just from watching her designer pull at the bottom, Delilah could see the vision. The gentle waves enough to give a feeling of home.
Her makeup was simple in a traditional sense, no intricate designs in her eye makeup or a pop of color on her lips… it was when you left the typical features that it got not so simple. Scale-like designs sat at her temples and up her hairline. Her skin had been coated in something that gave a sort of water-like shine to it matching the wet look her curly hair had been given. Her curls sticking in just the right places, the mass of her hair weighing on her back and shoulders.
A headpiece sat atop her head. A crown of sorts, small but adorned in small pearls of whites and pinks, some on strands that wove into her hair.
It was such an innocent design… and yet when you noticed the crown base made of fish bones, or the sharp point to her thin bits of eyeliner, or the long pointed nails faintly seen through the sheer material… there was a hidden bit of something more dangerous.
People would pick this look apart for days through the time in the training center. Comparing it to all the looks of her family, digging for the little nods towards her ancestry.
Delilah just kept finding herself so distant from her present situation… so…"My grandfather incorporated a lot of fish bones into his looks."
The designer jumped a bit, startled by the first words the young woman had spoken in hours. But she was quick to smile, moving on from her fiddling as she stood back to get a more complete look, "Yes, always found that so genius on his designers—"
"It was his choice." The designer was interrupted but so politely handled it as she allowed Delilah to keep going, "Contrary to what everyone thinks, he wasn't a career. Just a fisherman who spent his whole life handling a knife and skinning fish. The bones were a bit of home while he was being paraded around."
That so weirdly calm smile never seemed to leave the woman's face, "Strange to think of such a ruthless man holding much sentimental value over anything. Probably was such a normal man at home."
Delilah shrugged, "My father said he did his best to live a good life… things got worse when my father was sent in."
"I couldn't imagine how it felt… how it felt for your parents."
Nothing else had to be said… the rest easy to fill in…
How it felt to watch your child live your trauma…
She'd never know. No one in the Capitol ever would. They'd continue to live nice comfy lives, watching the tributes and victors like the showpieces they were, no real feeling towards how they felt. Never considering them as real people who deserved real empathy…
And yet this designer did. As Delilah met her eyes… that unmodified face and those caring eyes and that sad smile… she could feel herself being seen as she was. A person. A real breathing person who was living through something horrible…
Which is why she slipped up, broke a rule.
"What is your name?"
Her smile seemed to grow bigger, "Porpentina."
Delilah left it at a nod, looking back to the mirror, "Is it ready?"
Porpentina moved to stand behind Delilah, looking over the girl's shoulder into the mirror, giving a firm nod as she slipped back into a professional demeanor, "Yes, and just about in time too."
Once more, just a nod… Delilah's eyes just ever briefly looking back at Porpentina through the mirror.
Please don't be a disappointment.
XxxxxX
Delilah was led to the chariots with her head held high, moving with such purpose that her dress was already doing as it was designed to do, the waves harsh at her feet.
She felt the eyes of the other tributes but would not give a single one a glance in return. She didn't need to study them, not then. She didn't need anyone to know she had any interest in them. They didn't need to know any hint of those who worried her… not like they were making clear they worried about her.
No Delilah would just keep her eyes on her destination, and that was Caspian Gilbert, dressed in the most fascinating of blues and a crown suspiciously like her own atop his head. He held a spear in hand— which would never be his weapon of choice— and stood with a strength that was so normal for him but that Delilah so hated in that moment.
Looking like that, with the same wet hair and skin look, some strange open shirt that showed more skin than necessary… Delilah hated that she would not be the only one able to stare.
A sentiment shared in Caspian as he finally found her walking towards him, the awe so quickly replaced as he noticed all the stares on the beauty that was always Delilah Calamari.
Lacking the time for either of them to make a comment as they were demanded around by their stylists and mentors in preparation for the chariots to leave, Caspian and Delilah would have to eat away the jealousy prickling at their skin. Delilah a bit better at such a task as Caspian stood a bit too close, a poor shield from the many eyes.
He would calm as they looked ahead and out of the room towards where they would soon be heading. Hearing the thundering crowd just outside. His knuckles going a bit white as he grasped his spear… the reality of just what was happening fully hitting…. Just a day ago his name was called and now he was going to be showing the world this first real look… the beginning of making an impression on people who partially controlled his fate and the fate of the love of his life next to him….
Delilah slipped her hand into his free hand as the chariots ahead of them started moving And she would give one gentle squeeze before the chariot jerked and they had to separate.
Prepared to give their first impression… if nothing else.
Just smile and wave.