Sometime in Season 4
"Interview"
Even after months of living in Storybrooke, Hook was only slightly acquainted with Snow White's seven dwarf companions. They were somewhat famous in the Enchanted Forest due to their role in the war against the Evil Queen and King George. Once Snow and Prince Charming's forces retook the kingdom, the dwarves were named its protectors.
Grumpy, known in this world as Leroy, was the first of the dwarves that Hook met. He accompanied Snow White and David when they took the pirate back to his ship after the car accident with Greg Mendel. He witnessed Hook's shameless flirting with Snow in front of her husband, as well as the chaotic consequences of taking his advice to wake the sleeping giant. Naturally, this did not make a good impression.
The dwarves next saw Hook inside Granny's diner when it looked like the town was about to be destroyed. A week later, they drank together in celebration after Henry's rescue party returned from Neverland. Then they found themselves transported back to the Enchanted Forest, briefly living together as refugees before Hook split off from the others.
A year went by before he laid eyes on any of the diminutive men again. When he did see them, it was usually just in passing, as they worked in tandem with Emma, Regina, David, and Snow to thwart the Wicked Witch.
As far as Hook could see, the only thing they had in common was an affinity for alcohol, though the dwarves preferred beer rather than rum. Dwarves were creatures of the earth, while pirates entrusted themselves to the sea. Dwarves were steady, selfless, and humble, while pirates tended to be proud, self-centered, and unpredictable.
Given this history—or lack thereof—Hook was surprised when, shortly after his first date with Emma, he received a friendly warning from David.
"The dwarves might give you a hard time, now that you and Emma are official."
"How do you know this?"
"They did the same thing to me when Snow and I got engaged. They thought I might be a gold-digger trying to take her throne. Don't take it personally; it's just because they care."
Hook was not overly concerned, until he arrived at Granny's a few nights later. When he walked into the diner, the booths and tables were empty, but the bar was full. All seven dwarves were lined up along the counter, some sitting, some standing between the seats. They had been talking amongst themselves, but as they noticed his arrival, they all turned to face him. Some looked nervous, while others looked solemn, even stern.
From what Hook knew of dwarves, they were not generally violent; these ones did not seem to carry any weapons on them. But their pickaxes were piled on either end of the counter, and each one of them had more hands than he did.
"Ah," Hook said brightly, "hello gents. Is there something I can do for you?"
"Yeah, Captain," Leroy said, coming up and clapping him on the back. "We're here to have a talk with you."
"I see." Hook gestured to the counter. "Should I order us a round?"
"Oh, no. We're treating you."
Hook smiled, thinking of exchanges he had had with some pirates who put on overly hospitable airs when dealing with their adversaries. "Is that an offer or a demand?"
"You can think of it as a rite of passage," Happy suggested.
Hook obligingly took the seat offered to him, in the very middle of the bar. He was effectively surrounded by the dwarves.
On the other side of the counter, Granny gave him a look that might have been concerned. "If anyone breaks anything, they have to pay for it," she reminded the men as she handed out their drinks.
Hook picked up his glass mug, but unlike the dwarves, he did not drink right away. "Listen, mates, you don't need to beat around the bush. If this is about Emma and me, I'm happy to listen to any concerns and answer any questions you may have." With that, he toasted them and took a swig.
The dwarves seemed surprised by his directness. Bashful glanced at his brothers before hiding behind his mug.
"Alright, Cap," Leroy said, setting down his mug and fixing his glare on Hook. "I'm not gonna lie to you. I didn't like you when you first arrived. You almost killed Belle, and you successfully made her lose her memories."
"Aye, that I did," Hook acknowledged, "and I made up for it by protecting her from the Witch and assisting her in vital research."
"Yeah, yeah." Leroy sounded unimpressed. "We've watched you turn over a new leaf. We know Emma and Snow and Charming all trust you, and we respect you for what you've done to help this town. But that doesn't change the fact that for hundreds of years, you were a violent, good-for-nothing pirate." He raised his brow knowingly as he lifted his mug and gestured with it. "And old habits die hard."
Hook wondered if they were deliberately trying to bait his temper.
"I didn't start out as a pirate," he informed them. "In my land, I was once a lieutenant in the royal navy. I only turned to piracy when I realized how corrupt our king was. Better to live with honor among thieves."
"Honor? Didn't you ravage towns and give no quarter?"
Hook's jaw twitched, but he remained calm. "Aye … but we never killed for the fun of it. We had a charter, like any crew. There were limits to what was allowed—for instance, no one was to harm a woman or child."
"Wow, what a high standard to meet," Leroy said sarcastically.
"Look, mate, we can argue about my past, measure for measure, but I've changed since meeting Emma. She inspired me to be better. I left that life behind the moment I learned she needed my help. Since then, everything I've done has been to help her, her family, and her home."
"So, now that she's staying here, you plan to stay too?"
"Aye."
"And no more plundering and pillaging?"
Hook flashed a grin. "Not unless it's for a good cause. For instance, if Emma or her parents asked me, you wouldn't want me to refuse, would you?"
Doc, Happy, and Leroy let out a chorus of "Of course not," while Sleepy, Sneezy, and Bashful let out hesitant sounds like "Um" or "Well." Dopey tilted his back and forth in ambivalence.
Leroy glared at his brothers, then said to Hook, "Well, as long as you're not hurting anyone innocent, I guess that'll do."
"Good. Anyone else have anything they want to say?" Hook looked up and down the line of dwarves.
Doc raised his hand. "I have a question. What are your prospects in Storybrooke?"
"Prospects?" Hook echoed.
"Do you have a job—a way to make an honest living?"
"Well, I'm not employed at the moment," Hook said evenly, "but I've got a bit of gold saved up, and I can do any work involving sea vessels."
"Does having only one hand make that harder?"
The bluntness of that question irked him as much as the subject matter, but he merely said, "I can usually find ways to compensate for it."
Sleepy mustered the energy to ask, "Did you even have to work much as a pirate? Don't you just steal what you need to survive?"
Hook frowned, feeling indignant for a new reason. "I'll have you know it takes a great deal of work to be a sailor of any kind. And I've been one since I was a child. I started at the lowest possible rung, and had to work my way up for the chance to enter a real navy."
"What made you go into seafaring?" Happy asked.
The dwarves looked expectantly at Hook, who thought over his answer. "It wasn't exactly my choice," he said reluctantly. "My brother and I were sold into service as children."
For once, Leroy was taken aback. "Sold?" he repeated.
"You were a slave?" Bashful blurted.
Hook bristled at that. "You're one to talk, miner. Did you choose your line of work?"
"That's different," Doc protested. "We were born for our work."
"I know; I'm quite familiar with the process of producing fairy dust." Off their looks of surprise, he explained, "It was one of many types of magic I studied in hope of finding a way to kill the Dark One."
"Well, at any rate, we're not just miners," Leroy insisted. "We're the kingdom's guards. And protecting the kingdom also means protecting its leaders."
"That makes sense," Hook allowed.
"That includes Emma." Leroy fixed Hook with another challenging look. "You do realize, Emma isn't just the sheriff, she's also a princess?"
"I am well aware of that, mate," Hook replied evenly. "I escorted her to her first ball. If anything, you should thank me for helping her to embrace her role in this town. If it weren't for me, she would be living in New York right now, and you'd still be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch."
The dwarves were silent after this assertion. Then Dopey, the mute one, wrote something down on his notepad and slid it down the counter. Hook used the tip of his hook to pull it to himself. Two words were written on the page: Thank you.
Hook blinked in surprise, then looked up at Dopey, who smiled slightly and nodded. Hook nodded back.
Sneezy broke the awkward silence with his own namesake.
"I've always found it intriguing, how you receive your names," Hook said conversationally. "Does the pickaxe tell you who you must be, or does it sense who you already are?"
"Tomato, tomato," Sleepy yawned.
After blowing his nose, Sneezy spoke up. "You know, there used to be eight of us. We had one more brother, Stealthy."
Hook frowned, surprised and curious. "Really?"
"You would've liked him," Happy said, smiling nostalgically. "He could break in or out of any place."
"Sounds like the sort I would've liked to have in my crew," Hook admitted. "What happened to him?"
"He was killed by King George's soldiers, the night we met Snow," Sneezy said.
Leroy's face darkened in a new way, which Hook recognized as grief. "He died trying to rescue Snow and me."
"I'm sorry," Hook said sincerely. "I lost a brother too. Liam was a few years older than I, but he practically raised me."
A few of the dwarves nodded or bowed their heads in sympathy.
"Speaking of raising," Leroy said, "if things go the way you hope with Emma, how would you feel about having Henry as a stepson, or having kids of your own?"
Hook's face felt warm in a way that had little to do with the alcohol. "That's thinking awfully far ahead, mate."
"If things go well, you'll have to think about it at some point," Happy pointed out.
"Well, if it comes to that, I'd consider it an honor," he said truthfully. "And I'd try to be worthy of it. Just as I'm trying to be for Emma."
The dwarves looked at each other, up and down the line. Hook could not watch them all at once, but he saw some of them nodding their heads.
"Alright, Hook," Leroy said. "For now, we're reserving judgment. But if you break Emma's heart, or go back to theft and murder, you'll have to answer to us. You ever been at the receiving end of seven magic pickaxes?"
"No," Hook said, "and rest assured, I don't intend to. And you needn't worry about Emma's heart. I don't intend to break it. I intend to protect it."
Leroy actually smiled at that. "Sounds like we're on the same page, then." He lifted his glass toward Hook, who clinked his own against it before they both took a draught.
They all drank a while longer, though the conversation turned to other topics, from the cold weather to the prices of boats to the best kind of liquor for different occasions. With a little sleight-of-hand, Hook managed to slip something toward Granny as she collected their mugs. He then thanked the dwarves and bade them a cordial farewell.
He had reached the stairs when he heard Leroy exclaim in outrage, "That scallywag paid for our drinks!"
Hook grinned to himself and swiftly climbed the stairs to his room before they could catch him.
A short while later, as he was getting into bed, his phone alerted him to a text message from David: How did it go?
Hook did not like texting, but something occurred to him when he read the message, so he painstakingly typed a response: How did you know it happened today?
There was no reply.