Chapter 9

There was no doubt about what, or more precisely, who Elizabeth meant with those words. Nathan felt his breath catch in his throat, willing himself not to react too strongly. He exhaled slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on hers. As much as he wanted to shout out that he had already forgiven her he knew that she still needed time. The debacle with Lucas had only just happened so it was important not to rush things, to let her have however long she needed to sort that and get it out of her mind. Everything in good time, he told himself.

Of course she would want to speak with Abigail, whose very presence seemed to have a calming and soothing effect on Elizabeth. But there was also a rawness in how Abigail looked at life, an honesty in how she saw people and understood their needs. He could see in them a closeness that wasn't there between Elizabeth and Rosemary, an innate sense of each other that went beyond normal friendship. Mother and Daughter. Sisters. It encompassed all of that and more. He could understand why Bill had loved the woman for so long and how important it was that he make sure that he didn't let her get away again. Life was too short not to be with the one you love.

In his own mind he needed to rationalise what had happened and not rush into anything. This was about more than just Elizabeth and him. He had to think of Allie and what it would mean for her if they were to explore the feelings that they so clearly had for each other. Take it to a serious level. Nothing was more important in his life than his niece and he had already seen how affected she had been by the uncertainty surrounding his interaction with her school teacher. Elizabeth also had some explaining to do, not just to him but to Allie as well. She owed them that. The memory of that little hand slipping into his and the words that showed wisdom beyond her years as they watched the pair return from Union City was something that it would take time to erase, for Allie and for him.

He could wait, just a bit longer, continue to give Elizabeth space as he had always done and in that time search his own heart to make sure that he too was ready. Love is patient, love is kind came into his head, the very tenet that he had tried to follow with this woman he loved as she struggled through the grief that had been her companion for so long. Now, as he began to believe that she had come out of the darkness more words from Corinthians 13 came to mind, It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Then finally, And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Did he love Elizabeth? She was like oxygen to him. Would he wait for her? Until the end of time and then some. Did she love him? He had always had faith and hope that she did, never more than now.

Seeing the hesitant expression on her face he gave her the gentlest look he could, his eyes filled with love and understanding. Then he quietly said, "You tell me when you are ready".

It was clear to those watching them as they descended the stairs that something had happened. A smile came to Abigail's lips and she looked around for Bill, hoping that he too was seeing this. She found him in the doorway to the kitchen, looking at her with an expression that said he was thinking the same. In her heart she prayed that what was written across both Elizabeth and Nathan's faces was not another false dawn. Just as she had been with Jack, Elizabeth could not hide where her heart lay. At least not to those who cared for her, it just took longer for her to understand it herself. To be able to overcome her fears and trust in God's plan was never going to be easy when you had already lost so much.

But this time was different. She was no longer the young, naïve schoolteacher who had fallen in love with a Mountie and then doubted her own ability to live with all that it encompassed. She had survived the heartbreak of losing Jack, had her heart torn apart and then patched back together with the love she had for her son. But it had never truly been made whole and it was clear now that one special man held the key to healing it. One who had also felt loss and pain, who understood what it meant to put someone else before himself. He had already shown he could do that and yet still he held enough love in his heart to make room for a widow and her son. To make them a family, a wonderful blended family.

As Elizabeth walked across to where her friend stood the smile that had been teasing the corner of her mouth grew wider. She could see Jack sitting on one of the sofas with Allie, his face full of concentration as he listened to the words she was reading from the book on her lap. There was something natural about the way they were with each other, as though they fitted together without any effort. Abigail followed Elizabeth's eyes and found herself grinning along with her friend. "They could be sister and brother," she said, "there is such a bond between them already."

"I know", Elizabeth whispered in reply, "I wish I could go back and start with her all over again. What must she think of me?"

"She loves you Elizabeth, I see it in the way she brightens up when the two of you are together. You are the closest to a mother she has ever had, the person outwith Nathan who she feels most at home with. I don't think you will get any argument from her if you choose to follow your heart".

As though sensing they were talking about her Allie looked up, her face hard to read until she glanced first at her teacher and then her uncle who was standing further away talking with Bill and Gabe. Looking back and forth between them she had a sudden realisation that something had changed. Then it was as though a light went on inside her as she began to believe that maybe, just maybe, what she had been dreaming of was now a little bit nearer to happening. Drawing Little Jack closer she went back to the book, her face radiating an inner joy she couldn't remember ever feeling before, her eyes darting now and then from the words in front of her to the two people she hoped were going to make her dream come true.

"She could be the Star of Bethlehem guiding the three magi, there is such a luminescence about her right now. It's as though she believes everything is finally going to be just as she wished". Abigail kept her voice low but her words were clear. "I think you may have just found the perfect Christmas gift for her, if you are brave enough."

Elizabeth knew that this was the one person she had never been able to lie to. "I think I am", she mumbled, then more emphatically she said "no…I know I am but I guess I'm still a little scared of making that commitment. Of holding someone else's heart in my hand". When nothing was said back to her she gave Abigail a closer look before continuing, "Have I missed something else that happened here today? Are you already one step ahead of me?" Turning around to find Bill she laughed when he winked at her. "Abigail Stanton, I think you have some explaining to do!"

Around them the children were gathered in small groups, the nearness of Christmas Day evident in the flurry of activities they were doing to keep excitement at bay. On the far side the decorations were being carefully removed from their tissue paper and boxes before being sorted for placing on the tree that Gabe had brought to the back of the house yesterday. They had decided to put it up tonight, a day earlier than normal, to brighten the mood of everyone. The popcorn strings had been tied with bows, the ladder resting in the corner ready to be used for placing them on the higher part of the tree along with the star, made lovingly by her father, that Lillian had carefully kept since childhood. A memento she cherished of the wonderful man she still missed so much.

The smell of hot chocolate lingered in the room, smudges of it still on some faces and splattered on cuffs and collars as they followed Grace's lead singing joyful carols, their sweet voices filling the room. The basket of gingerbread cookies for the tree seemed to have fewer in it now and looking back at her son Elizabeth could see crumbs clinging to the side of his mouth, his head resting firmly against Allie's shoulder.

Tomorrow would be Christmas Eve and she didn't want to go back to Hope Valley. It wasn't just because Nathan was here, although leaving him now would be difficult to do. Seeing how much Little Jack was enjoying his time with all the children was wonderful and yet still he seemed to always gravitate towards Allie. She was where he felt at home, where he knew he had a safe place when so much was going on around that frightened or confused him. Would it be cruel to those expecting them if they were to stay in Brookfield a few more days? Glancing out of the window she could see that it had stopped snowing but that didn't mean that the roads were clear. Besides, she couldn't do the journey alone and it would be unfair to drag Bill away from Abigail now that there seemed to be positive signs of things changing between them. No, she thought, I can't do that. I will telephone Rosemary and let her know that we will have another Christmas celebration when Little Jack and I return, perhaps with two extra seats placed around the table.

Gabe had watched all of this from the kitchen, the interaction between everyone and wondered what more he needed to do to convince Lillian that they should be together as man and wife. He loved her and she loved him, they were honest about that. If he hadn't proved his commitment to her and the children by now then he didn't know what else he could possibly do. Yes, it was definitely time, he thought. Love was definitely in the air.

He had moved back inside the house to speak to Nathan, leaving Lucas waiting in the small cottage to ponder what they would decide about any form of retribution for him. He was surprised that the Mountie wasn't concerned that he would run away, get back to his car at the hotel and return to Hope Valley. He had considered that but in a strange way he wanted to be punished, knowing he would never be able to look any of these people in the eye again with this hanging over him. Yes, it was an accident, but he should have known that Elizabeth wouldn't hit him. Even if she did he should have taken it like a man, as Nathan or Gabe would have done, rather than letting anger get the better of him and in a panic then thinking he needed to fight against her. Whatever justice they decided to mete out to him he would accept without argument, even if it meant spending time in gaol. But the thought of that sent a shiver through him. He had heard so many stories around the gambling dens of how they treated a person such as himself in there and, if truth be told, it was not something he relished the idea of experiencing.

When the door opened he was surprised to see Elizabeth standing there with Gabe, his hands suddenly trembling as he waited to hear what she had to say. He tried to hide his nervousness while not wanting to appear arrogant. Be humble, he thought. Show humility. Let her see how sorry you are. Elizabeth laughed when she saw him sitting sheepishly in his chair as though afraid to move. "Oh Lucas, you look as though you are expecting me to announce a death sentence for you!"

He felt some relief at the lightness of her tone. "I am so sorry Elizabeth, truly, truly sorry. You know I would never hit you. If I could go back I would just stand there and let you do whatever you wanted to me. Beat me to the ground if that is what you thought I deserved!"

She realised then how much this had affected him and just how full of remorse he was. "There is no need for anything quite as dramatic as that Lucas. But we have come up with a punishment for you that serves a number of purposes. If you agree to it then nothing more will be said about the incident. Although my words to you then remain the same and I ask that you respect them."

A look of relief washed over his face and he nodded quickly. He had feared that news of this would be spread far and wide, his reputation in tatters no matter how much people declared it an accident. Once tarred with the brush of being a woman beater he would have to leave and the thought of that made him sad. Hope Valley was his home now, with or without Elizabeth by his side. Before she could say anymore he shouted out, "Anything! I will do whatever you want. Just name it!"

From just outside the doorway Gabe reached around to gather up a large bag, protruding from the top of which was some red fabric trimmed with white fur. Trying to stop himself from laughing he held it towards Lucas, "Tomorrow night, the children will be expecting Father Christmas to appear. We know you won't disappoint them. If you need some help in getting your Ho Ho Ho right, Bill is a bit of an expert."