4 AM and all's well… I think….
Jon fought off a yawn, allowed himself a stretch, and re-focused his eyes on the monitors.
So, let's review the good updates…
They'd been able to pull all the cold packs by the end of Tank's shift, leaving Jennifer with just the cooling blanket. By breakfast time, they should be able to swap that out for a regular blanket.
Core temp's near normal. So are heart rate and resps. Safe to say she's out of the woods – at least physically speaking. As for the rest…
He leaned in close, studying the girl's sunburned face.
What are you going to tell us when you wake up? Were you kicked out of the Dread Youth, or did you run away? Or did you just get lost somehow?
What's your story?
The only answer to his silent questions was the quiet, steady sound of her breathing.
He sat back, reminding himself to be patient. Jennifer would likely sleep for hours – if not an entire day or more.
His mind drifted back to the bits and pieces of intel they had been able to glean from their radio scanners. The outside edges of the puzzle were starting to fall into place.
Providence. Almost, but not quite the polar opposite of Hardscrabble – and not exactly what one would call a sister city. More like a larger, much kinder cousin roughly six miles to its far side, buffered by a rare stretch of woods that included a little creek.
Oddly enough, that limited resource of wood and water had never been a real bone of contention between the two communities. The trees there weren't good for either firewood or lumber, and the creek was too small for fishing – or for any great supplement to the wells in either settlement.
So, it mostly served as a neutral site that made it easier for the two towns to ignore each other.
About the only thing the two towns had in common was opposition to Dread and his forces – but even that was for entirely different reasons. Providence believed in life and liberty and "love your neighbor." Hardscrabble just didn't want anyone else ruling over them.
They couldn't be sure what had triggered the attack on Providence. Maybe Dread had been able to break an encrypted radio communication and had followed the signal there. Or maybe Hardscrabble had decided to sell out its neighbor – either in exchange for their continued freedom or for being allowed to take over the woods, the creek, and any other resources Dread's forces spared. Or maybe…
His brain locked up at that point, and he shook his head to clear it.
Maybe they would never know why – or how they had missed hearing anything about it in real time. All they had were a few scattered transmissions on both Resistance and Dread frequencies.
Dread's forces called it "cleansing."
The Resistance called it "scouring."
It all amounted to the same thing. Providence didn't exist anymore.
And they'd all missed another big clue earlier that day in the field, when they'd all been hyper focused on treating Jennifer's heatstroke. There had been a light, smoky haze drifting in from that direction. None of them had even thought twice about it. They'd just assumed it was from the massive Ninety-Six refinery fire, which – according to that morning's radio traffic - still hadn't died down completely.
Just like Dread to use one act of mass destruction as cover for another one. And then they'd all missed the aftermath because none of their flight paths had come within ten miles of the place. Not even close enough to see if Dread's forces had moved on to take the woods, and possibly even Hardscrabble.
We can't be everywhere at once. We can't stop to investigate every cloud of smoke. We can't save everyone all by ourselves.
Hawk had drummed those words into Jon's head from the moment the young man had first activated his own PowerSuit. It hadn't gotten any easier, even after their team had grown from two to four.
We save the ones we can, when we can. And every one that we save makes a difference.
There was a soft rustling sound as the girl's head shifted on the pillow. Her eyes slowly opened, then froze as they focused on him.
"Jennifer?"
A barely perceptible nod.
"I'm Jon. Do you remember talking to me earlier?"
Another tiny nod.
"It's all right…" He kept his voice calm and low. "You're safe here. And you're going to be all right."
Her mouth moved in a weak attempt at a verbal response, but there was no sound.
He and Hawk had anticipated that. "Hold on. I'll get you some water."
Her eyes widened a bit at that, but she made no other attempt to move.
He got up and crossed to the counter, where Hawk had left an insulated pitcher and a small glass. He filled the glass a little more than halfway and brought it back to the girl's bedside.
She made no attempt to reach for it, and he could see fear and suspicion in her eyes.
"It's safe for you to drink. Look, I'll show you."
He made sure to keep eye contact with her as he took a good-sized sip.
Her expression relaxed a little, and she made a feeble attempt to wriggle one hand out from under the cooling blanket.
"Here, let me help you. You're still awfully weak." Mindful of her sunburn, he gently cupped her face in one hand and brought the glass to her lips.
"Slow and easy, okay?"
A tiny nod into his palm, and then the little swallows began.
"That's it…take your time…" and then he let himself fall silent, so there was nothing to hear but the sound of the swallows until she had drained the glass completely.
"Better?" he asked, letting her head gently rest against the pillow.
She nodded, but then her eyes narrowed as she gazed warily back at him.
"Why… don't you want… me to die?" Her voice was still a little raspy, but it was the strongest he'd heard it yet.
"My friends and I don't want anyone to die before their time. We're all about saving lives whenever possible – not taking them."
A silent look of disbelief.
"That's our prime goal here – to preserve life."
Her eyes widened a little more at that – and then she shifted her incredulous gaze to take in her surroundings as best she could while moving only her eyes.
"Where am I?"
"Somewhere safe."
She lifted her head about an inch off the pillow – and he didn't need to look at the monitors to know that her heart rate had just spiked. "Where?" she hissed.
"A safe place. That's all you need to know right now. So, take it easy. Like I said, you're still weak from heatstroke."
As if confirming his words, her head fell back against the pillow, and her eyes closed.
"Do you remember that? Do you remember how my friends and I found you in the desert?"
"I remember…" she winced. "There was just one of you… at first..."
"That was Scout. He saw you from the air. He gave you water and did everything he could to help you until Hawk and I could get there. He's been worried about you ever since." He'd kept his words carefully measured – but they still felt like too much, too fast.
He let her breathe for a long moment – hoping for some kind of response.
"Worried…?" It was as if she didn't understand the meaning of the word.
He knew Dread's cult taught their youth to suppress all emotions, but still…
He tried re-phrasing it, "Concerned."
No response at all to that one. He decided to press on.
"He'll be relieved to know that you're awake. I'd like to call him in here so you can see for yourself, if you want…"
"If I want…" There was an uncertainty about the words… almost as if she was speaking a foreign language.
Had nobody ever asked this girl what she wanted?
Her eyes opened again – looking at him with a confused expression.
"You said… he'll be relieved…?"
"Yes."
"From… what… duty…?"
He was just beginning to comprehend how deep the emotional suppression went. This girl didn't know the emotional definition of the word. She thought that he either meant that Scout was about to be punished or demoted somehow because of her - or that the sergeant would be leaving an assigned duty for a piece of news that could simply be given over a commlink – and of course, none of that made any sense to her.
"I mean that it will ease his mind, to see that you're recovering."
Those blue eyes stared at him, still not comprehending.
How was he supposed to communicate with someone who apparently didn't have a grasp of emotional vocabulary?
Something else appeared to click in her mind as she realized her hair was loose – hanging around her face on that pillow. No longer in that Dread Youth braid. She glanced down at the cooling blanket.
"What happened to my clothes?" He could detect at least three different emotions in that little outburst. Anger. Fear. Embarrassment. Apparently, that emotional suppression only went so far.
"You don't remember Hawk talking you through all that?"
A little head shake before she collapsed against the pillow.
"I remember… the cold packs…" she was struggling to get words out again as that burst of adrenaline quickly faded. "…the blindfold… you carrying me... after that… it's all a blur…"
"You couldn't breathe easy or fully cool off in that uniform. That's why Hawk took it off you once we got you here to MedBay. He had a daughter – she would have been a little older than you-"
How was he managing to say too much and not enough at the same time?
"That's why we thought he should – I'm sorry we don't have any women here to help you-"
He wasn't blushing or stammering, but inwardly he was cringing at every word he was saying.
Why couldn't Hawk have been the one here to explain everything again when she woke up?
"But if you're asking what we did with that uniform, we put it all in with our laundry. We'll keep it someplace safe after it's been cleaned." He paused for a moment before deciding to set down the first rule for her.
"But you're not going to wear that again. Not while you're here."
That left her completely speechless, mouth agape. She glanced back down at the blanket, then back at him again, another unasked question in her eyes.
"We keep a fair amount of civilian clothes here, in a variety of sizes – for those who have lost everything. When you're strong enough to get out of that bed, I'm sure we can find you something suitable to replace that hospital gown."
The words were hardly out of his mouth before she tried to lift herself off the pillow – immediately falling back with a little cry of frustration.
"But for now, you're going to have to be patient – no pun intended."
That look of frustration on her face deepened, reminding him how mindful he needed to be with his words here. Apparently they didn't do wordplay in the Dread Youth, either.
"Now, I gave Scout my word that I would tell him when you woke up – and I always keep my promises. As soon as I give him the good news, he'll want me to let him here in to see you, okay?"
Silence.
He didn't want to push things too hard with this kid, and yet... "It will make him feel better, and it will make me feel better. And I honestly think it will make you feel better, too." He hoped he wasn't talking too much about feeling – and too soon. Then again, if she was going to heal completely, Jennifer needed to start getting acquainted with feelings.
"All right?"
She closed her eyes, as if thinking about it. "All right…" The words were soft, hesitant.
He keyed his commlink. "Scout? Jennifer's awake. She said it's all right if you want to come see her."
"Thanks, Captain. I'll be right down."
He turned his attention back to Jennifer. Her eyes were open again – looking at him as if she'd never seen him before. "Captain….?"
Those eyes took a long, hard stare into his, then drifted down and to his right. To the name badge on his uniform.
"Captain… Power?" it came out in a hushed voice – not much above a whisper. He could see wonder mixed with sheer terror in her eyes.
"Yes, that's my real name," he told her quietly. "But Jon is part of my real name, too. And I think both of us would feel more comfortable if you just kept calling me that, okay?"
"But you're…"
"Dread's worst enemy. The leader of the most powerful fighting force of the Resistance. So, I must be some sort of superman. Larger than life, right?" He couldn't help punctuating that with a chuckle.
She said nothing. Just kept that wide-eyed stare fixed on him.
"I'm also Jon Power. A flesh-and-blood human being. Like you."
That brought her head off the pillow as she hissed again, "Liar…" The word was barely out of her mouth before she fell back again.
"About my being human, or you?"
She had no answer for that.
"I haven't lied to you about anything. Neither has Scout. And nobody here will ever lie to you. That's a promise."
"Everyone lies…" Not as much anger this time. This was more… anguish.
Who else had lied to her, besides Dread and his Overunits? Who had hurt this girl – mentally as well as physically?
And how could he get her to trust him and the rest of his team?
"We don't lie here. We might refuse to answer some of your questions – for both our safety and yours – and we might not tell you all the truth at once, but we'll never lie to you about anything."
A little whimper escaped at that, and he saw tears in the corners of her eyes. Good. At the very least, that was a sign of re-hydration. And maybe her first emotional breakthrough as well.
"My eyes…" she blinked… "what's wrong with them?"
"Those are tears. They're a signal from your body that you're re-hydrated…" He hesitated.
"And that you're feeling frightened and overwhelmed, which is only natural."
"No…" More anguish in her voice as she blinked against the tears. "…that's… the worst… evil…means… my mind is weak…defective…"
"No. It means you're human. And all people cry sometimes, for a lot of different reasons."
"Even me." They both looked up to see Scout standing in the doorway.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop."
"It's all right, Scout. I think we both knew you'd be here any moment now."
"Thanks. Jennifer, it's good to see that you're on the mend." Scout took a few cautious steps toward them, as if their patient was a wounded animal who might try to bolt any second. Jon couldn't help thinking that in a way, she was just that.
"I think it's also a good time to tell you that I shed a few tears of my own out there over you."
That got her attention. "Why?"
"I was afraid that I hadn't been able to do enough to help you… that you weren't going to make it."
"Make it…?" Now they were back to colloquial English as a foreign language again.
"That I was going to lose you… that you were going to die out there, in spite of my best efforts."
There was a catch in Scout's voice, and Jon thought he could see tears in the corners of his eyes, too. It had been months since he'd seen Scout show that kind of emotion, and he made a mental note to talk to his sergeant later about why he felt so emotional over this kid.
Why they all felt so emotional over this girl. Even Tank, who had only seen her sleeping in MedBay.
Scout brushed the back of his hand against one eye, confirming Jon's suspicions.
"And now…?" Jennifer hadn't missed that gesture, even as she still blinked back tears of her own.
"Now it's because it's so good to see you again. To know that you're going to be all right."
"I don't… understand…" She'd gone from fear and self-loathing to utter bewilderment.
"Tears can come with a wide range of emotions. Fear… sadness… relief… even joy…"
Again, Jon was afraid that all this was too much for her to handle in her weakened state. But the way he saw it, she needed emotional honesty as much as their care for her medical needs.
"I know you don't understand any of that. But you will in time. For right now, just know that there's never any shame in tears here. No matter what reason we have for them."
Sometimes he needed to remind himself and his teammates of that. They weren't always the best at practicing what they preached. Especially when it came to tears.
Jennifer had closed her eyes again, wincing as more tears began to trickle down her face.
"It's all right…" he told her. "Don't fight them…don't fight your feelings…"
The tears were coming faster now, even as she screwed her eyes tightly shut, alternating between whimpering and sniffling.
"It's all right…" he repeated. "This is how you begin to heal…"
Her breath caught at that – and the proverbial dam burst a moment later. The sobs were soft, but to her, they must have felt like little earthquakes shuddering on top of each other.
As gratifying as the breakthrough was, he couldn't help aching for the girl's suffering at the same time. Couldn't help wanting to give her some little form of comfort. Could he do that without interrupting this critical catharsis?
He let one hand drop to her shoulder – the lightest echo of the gesture he and Hawk had offered when they'd started to apply the first round of her cold packs. She turned her head so that her cheek brushed against the back of his hand. Some of her tears fell on his skin, and he let a few of his own run down his face in response. It didn't matter that she couldn't see or feel them.
Scout stepped up to place his hand on her other shoulder, and Jon didn't have to look up to know that his sergeant was quietly shedding a few more tears of his own as well.
"It's all right…" he reassured Jennifer, even as her entire body gently shook with sobs. "It's okay to feel whatever you feel. It's okay to cry… cry as long as you need to… it's all right…"