I do not own The Loud House. All rights belong to Nickelodeon.
Chapter 4
Lynn's dream
It was cold the morning adult Lynn woke up – cold as yesterday. It was so cold cloud bursts came from her breath. She slowly unzipped her sleeping bag and removed the layers of tarps and rags before unzipping her tent inside the old shack. She stood watching the cars go by on the highway. Her tent was in the woods near the highway and was between that and the park with a public restroom.
"Okay . . . let's get to work," Lynn said to herself.
By 'work,' she meant doing what she does daily: finding food. Few people were offering cash by the streetlight, so she may have to steal food or go through the garbage. She would set up her tent at the homeless camp under the highway bridge, but she had to keep her distance so what little she had wouldn't be stolen.
'Maybe one of the college students might feel generous like that one girl last week,' Lynn thought.
She coughed several times, and it got bad enough that she had to lean against a tree. After a while, she was able to regain her strength.
She put on her backpack and walked with her shopping cart full of bags. With that, she began her day. Not many people know the luxury of having money to buy food. No money, that's makes getting food a lot harder. When it comes to survival, looking for food is constant. Then it started to rain, and Lynn knew she had to rush to return to her tent before the ground got too muddy. She made it just in time to get her cart back to her tent but slipped and fell in the mud.
Lynn groaned, "Oh man."
End of Lynn's Dream
Lynn woke and groaned as she rubbed her eyes.
"Is that a good sign?" Lucy asked.
"What?" Lynn asked.
"You didn't gasp or scream in your sleep. Does that mean you didn't have any nightmares?" Lucy asked.
Lynn let out a sigh, remembering her dream . . . being a hobo.
"Oh, I had nightmares. They may not have jarred me awake, but they were still bad," Lynn replied.
"How bad?" Lucy asked.
Lynn didn't answer, but Lucy could see Lynn's hair standing up with her goosebumps even from the other side of the room. Lucy even noticed Lynn's pupils shrink and shiver.
'Whatever nightmares she's having is shaking her core,' Lucy thought, 'Should I tell Lincoln? Or does he already know?'
The girls all had breakfast. While the parents were out meeting with their lawyer, Lincoln brought Clyde, Stella, and Ronnie Anne. Lincoln prepared himself to be embarrassed and to lift his sisters' spirits. Normally, Clyde would have either a nosebleed or a 'system overlord' when standing in Lori's presence, but not anymore. He looked at her and the others with a half-serious and half-indifferent look.
"Hey Clyde," Lori waved with a small smile.
Clyde looked away, "Lori."
Ronnie Anne had a stern look with angry eyes. She stood calmly with her hands in her hoodie pocket. Stella was in a similar state but in a less aggressive way.
"Girls, these are the three people I told of my powers before I told you. You remember Clyde and Ronnie Anne, but let me introduce Stella Zhau," Lincoln said.
The sisters all looked at the tall girl with curiosity.
"There's one more thing that you should know about Stella. She's . . . she's my—"
Before the white-haired boy could finish that sentence, Stella grabbed her boyfriend and pulled him over. She had him leaning over while holding him, sending her lips straight to his. Her kiss was long and passionate. At first, Lincoln was surprised by this, but then he closed his eyes and gently held her face with one hand. Lincoln relished the kiss and the sensation of Stella's fingers gliding through his hair. Everyone's eyes widened at this, and the sisters all gasped.
Stella separated the kiss but looked at Lincoln with a smile and wink. Then she turned to the sisters and said confidently, "I'm his girlfriend."
The Loud sisters stood frozen for a short while with their jaws hitting the floor. Then they all squealed screams like they were at a boy's band concert as they waved their arms and even hopped up and down – even little Lily was squealing joyfully. Lincoln and his friends were taken by surprise at this, not expecting their reaction to be so positive. Clyde gently pulled Stella out of the way, knowing what would happen next. The girls all dashed and squeezed Lincoln in a group hug.
"Lincoln! Why didn't you tell you sooner that you had a girlfriend?" Luna cooed.
"She's so pretty, too," Lola added.
They separated from the group, smiling at their brother.
"Girls, do you know what this means? Our Lincoln is growing into a man!" Lori praised.
They squealed a scream again.
Lincoln rolled his eyes, thinking, 'Girls. Sheesh, what can you do?'
"Showoff," Ronnie Anne whispered to Stella.
Stella said nothing as she crossed her arms and smirked. Clyde blushed while looking away and rubbing the back of his head.
Ronnie Anne stepped forward and cleared her throat to get everyone's attention.
"I'd hate to interrupt your 'OMG' moment, but Lincoln believes that you girls deserve a second chance despite all evidence to the contrary. However, let me make this perfectly clear to you all," Ronnie Anne stated clearly, "This is your second and last chance to be good sisters to your one and only brother. Those visions may not have come true, but you are all still capable of doing terrible things. Every day, you have to not do those things and do what's right. Because so help me, if I find a papercut, a scratch, or even one hair missing on his head, that's it. It's all over for you. I'll call the cops and have you thrown in jail so fast your heads will spend. I'll even kidnap Lincoln and take him back home so my family can adopt him if I have to."
The girls' eyes widened at that.
"She's not joking. She will do it. So, if you girls are serious about doing right by Lincoln, then you better practice what you preach," Stella stated.
"We will. We promise," Lynn said.
Ronnie Anne and Stella gave her a hard stare as they squinted their eyes.
"Oh, that reminds me. Lincoln, we got something special for you," Lori said.
She went into her room, and the others got really excited.
"What is it, girls?" Lincoln asked.
They all had excited smiles as they bit their bottom lips.
Lori started, "Lincoln, we uh . . . we pooled together whatever cash we could get our hands on and whatever dough we could earn. It wasn't easy, but we saved enough—"
"To buy you a gift!" Leni finished excitedly.
"A gift?" Lincoln asked.
"Yeah, dude! You've been so good to us lately, even while we were grounded. You made us dinner and have been so supportive, and you made that wonderful art of us! We wanted to get you something special to show you how much you mean to us, little bro," Luna explained.
"Oh girls, you didn't have to," Lincoln said,
"Yes, we did! Lincoln, you mean so much to us. So, we wanted to get you something nice," Luan said.
"So, close your eyes," Lola said.
"Girls, I—"
"Shush, close them!"
Lincoln obeyed, and the girls put something in his hands. When he opened them, he saw something he thought he'd never see in person in all of his childhood years—rare trading cards of Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack. The cards were shiny, and the color schemes made them look beautiful as they reflected light. Clyde, Stella, and Ronnie Anne looked amazed, as did Lincoln.
Lincoln gasped, "No way. Platinum edition Ace Savvy cards of Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack!"
The girls could barely contain their excitement. Then, they finally released their joy as Lincoln cheered in happiness.
"Oh my gosh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Lincoln praised as he hugged and kissed his sisters.
"You're welcome, Lincoln!" Lori said.
"I told you he'd like those cards! I told you!" Lynn said confidently.
"How did you guys get these? They must have cost a fortune," Lincoln said.
"Well, we could only buy one card – the One-Eyed Jack one. The other we had to win from a card collector geek in a poker game. Thankfully, Luan was able to win that card, plus the winning pot. So, we're eating at Burpin' Burger later," Lori said.
"You won it in a game of poker?" Lincoln asked, amazed.
"Yep, and it was not easy. I can't tell which was harder, the card game or holding back Lynn and Lola," Lana stated.
"Yeah, that collector was a real snob. He just kept mouthing off!" Lola added.
"If it weren't for Leni and Lana, we wouldn't pulverized them!" Lynn declared as she punched her hand.
"Well, I'm glad it didn't come to that," Clyde said.
"You might want to keep those cards a secret for now. There aren't a whole lot of them, so someone might try to steal them from you, Lincoln. (Cough) Chandler. (Cough) And his goons. (Cough)" Stella said.
"Oh, yeah. That is true," Lincoln agreed.
"Oh, and one more thing, Lincoln! Mom and Dad let me have my sewing machine back, so I made you something," Leni said.
"Really?" Lincoln asked with wonder in his eyes.
"Wow, it's Christmas for him," Ronnie Anne said sarcastically.
"Don't ruin it for them," Clyde whispered to her.
Leni brought a fabulous pair of cargo jeans, a red T-shirt with a big black Ace of Spades on it, and a cool black sleeveless denim jacket with a red cotton hoodie. Lincoln's eyes sparkled at the clothes that Leni had made him.
"Oh my gosh, Leni! They're gorgeous!" Lincoln praised.
Seeing Lincoln so happy brought tears to Leni and even the others.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love them, and I love you girls so much!" Lincoln said.
The girls teared up and hugged Lincoln again, kissing his head and face.
"We love you too, Lincoln," Leni said.
"We love you so much," Lori added.
"And we always will. Never forget that, Lincoln," Lucy said.
"Never, ever," Lola added.
"Forever and ever," Lana stated.
Clyde couldn't help but smile and tear up at the warm, heartfelt moment he was seeing. Even Stella smiled, but Ronnie Anne just rolled her eyes.
Ronnie Anne spoke, "Not to ruin the moment, but what is the plan to keep the family together? I mean, that is the plan, right? Because that FBI lady, she's really putting the screws to your parents."
Clyde cringed, "Yeeeah, actually, she is right, Lincoln. She really has it out for them."
"Have you seen the future on how to win or keep your family together? Because if your parents lose in court, they'll separate your family, right?" Stella asked.
"Actually, yes, I have looked. There is a way to win, but I can't tell you guys because if I do, then it'll change the outcome. I know you guys want to know, but trust me. I got a plan to not only keep our family together but to knock out some other problems," Lincoln explained.
"What other problems? Oh wait, you can't tell us, right?" Lynn asked.
"Correct. When the time comes, I'll be able to explain it, but not yet."
"Whatever. Just tell us when you need us to do something, and we'll do it. We're trusting you, Lincoln," Lori said.
"When do you guys show up in court?" Stella asked.
"Next week. They won't have all of us in the stand, but they'll definitely have me up there. When they do, they will ask a lot of questions about my life here, about you ladies, our parents, and my relationship with all of you. I'll try my best not to make Mom and Dad look like bad guys, but the public will not be nice when they hear the answers to the questions – especially to Dad," Lincoln explained.
"Who else are they going to question on the stand?" Luna asked.
"Probably me, you, Luan, maybe Leni, and . . . possibly Lynn," Lori answered.
That sent chills down Lynn's spine. They talked some more, and then Lincoln tried his new clothes on. They were a little loose, but that was good because he'll grow into them so they'll stick around longer before he gets too big for them. They all went down to the Burpin Burger. Thankfully, it wasn't busy, so there weren't many eyes on them.
Everyone chatted about everyday stuff. Lincoln talked with Clyde about making comic books together – he'd be the artist, and Clyde would be the writer. Clyde fell in love with the idea and agreed instantly. The two talked about one story idea to the next. The whole time everyone talked, Lynn barely said a word.
When she left to use the restroom and went to wash her hands, she couldn't help but stare at herself in the mirror. Enough time had passed, and she didn't have to have the bandages around her head, but a noticeable scar had surfaced on the side of her head as she moved her hair out of the way. As Lynn stared at the scar, she saw flashbacks of that night. Her brother looked at her with utter fear in his eyes, like a beast came into his room. Even though it had been a while since then, she could remember that night like it was yesterday. She could see him grabbing that action figure and smashing it on her face and then grabbing her and throwing her against the wall. She could feel the pain . . . and the blood.
Lynn shivered at the images she saw. Then, her mind was flooded with the visions Lincoln showed her and everyone – from the bad luck incident, her and her sisters beating him, and him beating them. Her hands trembled as she remembered seeing the red fire in his eyes as he savagely beat her with a club while breaking her arm and leg.
Lynn ran the water in the sink, closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths. Then she splashed some water on her face while rubbing her eyes. A red hot flash passed through her body, mainly her head. Lynn concentrated on her breathing to not pass out.
"None of that is going to happen. Calm down, Lynn. We're better now, and we will be better. Lincoln's okay. We're okay. We're all okay," Lynn said softly to herself.
After a while, her head felt a little better, but when she raised her head and opened her eyes, she saw her adult self in the mirror – her hobo self. That grown-up version of Lynn was looking right at her younger self. She gripped the sink while panting. Lynn saw blurry, scratched-up faces with angry eyes and devilish smiles in the mirror's reflection and around her.
Whispering voices echoed in her head. Lynn couldn't make out what they were saying. Then she heard the dreadful words whispering, 'Sore loser,' and 'You're worthless.'
The whispering voices got louder and louder, making her head hurt. Lynn held her head and took deep breaths. Then, she focused on the one thing that made sense to her: Lincoln. She focused on his face, his voice, his words, and his smile.
"Those visions didn't happen because Lincoln didn't let them happen. He cares. He's the most wonderful brother in the world. That's who he is! He was running away not because he doesn't care but because he does care! He didn't want anyone to get hurt. Those visions didn't come true, and they never will. Not on my watch, pal. I will never let them come true," Lynn said firmly in the mirror.
Lynn closed her eyes and focused on her brother while taking deep breaths. After a few minutes, her heart rate slowed down, and her hand stopped trembling. She washed her hands and exited the restroom. She stopped at the corner to watch Lincoln interact with his friends and sisters. He looked happy, like himself again. Before she remembered how miserable he was, his smile was gone.
'Were we really causing him so much misery while he felt he was waiting for an inevitable fate? Why would I would treat him so poorly? Am I really that big of a sore loser—?" No! No more of that crap talk! That was then. This is now, and now, I want to be better for him and my sisters. I have to be,' Lynn thought.
She returned to the table, and the food finally arrived. It was delicious—nothing like a good burger and fries. As everyone exited the restaurant, Lynn hugged Lincoln.
"Hey, Lynn. You okay?" Lincoln asked.
"I just wanted to hug my brother," Lynn answered.
Lincoln hugged her as she kissed the side of his head.
"You know, Lincoln, we haven't had our first official date yet, and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me to Dairyland. Just you and me," Stella proposed.
"Ooooooooo," The sisters all said in unison.
"I won a free season pass there, and they're hosting their new ride, The Milkshaker," Stella said.
"Oh! Say yes, Lincoln! That ride is so fast, you can barf, fly around in a loop, and get hit in the face with said barf," Lana said.
Almost all the other girls, especially Lola, said in unison, "Eww."
"Of course, I'd love to go with you, Stella," Lincoln said.
"Good, I'll see you next Saturday, and Lincoln . . . look your best for your best girl," Stella said before kissing him.
Lincoln's sisters softly squeed as she got on the bus to head home. Lincoln rolled his eyes with a smile.
Meanwhile
Future Lincoln found the Red Barron's ship. It was massive, like a giant cargo freighter if it were a spaceship. The Red Barron was known throughout the galaxy as a smuggler, merchant in the black market, a cheapskate, and silver tongue snake thief murderer. Rumor has it he can be in multiple places at once in different parts of the galaxy.
"Let's see who this guy is and why he's dicking around with me and my past," Future Lincoln said.
Future Lincoln snuck into the ship by going through the walls and staying invincible. He searched around and found stockpiles of weapons, ammo, and other various black market inventory. Then he found time machine cubes and bounty discs with his name on them.
"Well, we found who's supplying these bounty hunters. So, Red Barron, who are you?" Future Lincoln asked out loud, knowing he was being watched.
Clapping broke the silence as Lincoln shed his cloaking to be seen. An elevator platform came down, and a man in a ridiculous suit sat in a golden chair. He had red hair and a smug smile. He knew that face from anywhere – Chandler.
"I am impressed. You found me faster than I thought you would, and you can sense me from way up here!" Chandler hollered.
"Chandler McCann," Future Lincoln spoke with a glare.
"Oh, look that, Larry Lame remembers me, and I was really wondering if I'd get teary-eyed that you wouldn't remember me. I'm getting all emotional. I might walk over and give you a big wet kiss," Chandler said.
Lincoln said nothing as he shot him with an energy blast that obliterated him. However, another Chandler was wearing a different suit from a railing high up.
"I was going to ask did you miss me, but I guess not!" Chandler said before laughing.
"Why and how the hell are you alive after all this time? I know you don't have any power crystals," Future Lincoln said.
"Oh, it's funny you ask because I've been plotting revenge on you all my life ever since you beat me to a pulp and became the star of all Michigan," Chandler started.
'Changing the past is affecting the future. Little me is a hero, but for some reason, I still exist, which means he's going to turn into me. He still has the seed of anger within him,' Future Lincoln thought.
"As time passed after you disappeared, I became an old man," Chandler continued.
Then another Chandler walked in, "I was going to die soon, but I was not going to give up. I'd find you even if it were at another time. In another life!"
Then another Chandler emerged, "So, I cloned myself and synced each clone with my memories and my charming personality. Each clone would search throughout space and time until finally, I'd find you!"
Then, more and more clones of Chandler emerged.
"You've lasted all this time through cloning yourself?" Future Lincoln asked.
"Yes! And now, there are so many of me that there are millions of me all throughout the galaxy. So, it doesn't matter how many of us you kill. There's always more! This is my revenge. No matter where you go or how many planets you destroy to try and get rid of me, there's always going to be another Chandler to hunt you down and tire you out until you die!" Chandler stated.
Future Lincoln stared at him before speaking, "All this because I kicked your ass and people liked me and not you? You're pathetic."
"And your days are numbered, Larry! You can't kill us because there's too many of us. So, what are you going to do, Larry? Huh? You gonna cry?" Chandler mocked before he and the other Chandlers laughed.
Future Lincoln used his powers to destroy the time travel cubes. The Chandlers all gave confused looks.
"I don't have to kill a million Chandlers. I don't even have to kill one," Future Lincoln said before summoning a time portal, "I just have to change one."
All the Chandlers' eyes widened as he entered through the portal. Before he left, Future Lincoln shot an energy blast that hit through the walls of the ship, causing the Chandlers to be sucked out into the vacuum of space. Future Lincoln only heard briefly as they screamed, 'No!'
Future Lincoln traveled back to the present in Royal Woods. He pressed a few buttons on his gauntlet to make it look like he wore regular clothes – relaxed-fit blue jeans, a black Punisher Skull t-shirt, and a black military outdoor jacket. He was outside of Chandler's house. He heard Chandler's parents arguing when he walked to the front door. Chandler's bruises had healed since Lincoln beat the shit out of him, but his mother now knew the truth after he lied, saying he fell down the stairs.
"Honey, you need to calm down," Mr. McCann said.
"I want that boy arrested! He attacked our son!" Mrs. McCann replied.
"Mom, please don't yell," Chandler pleaded.
"Do you really think that's a good idea? The news is already talking about him as a child victim from his family. Attacking him may make us look like villains," Mr. McCann said.
"Villains?! Are you kidding me?!" Mrs. McCann yelled.
Future Lincoln unlocked the door and walked into the living room where all three were. They stopped arguing and turned to face him, surprised. Future Lincoln put on a pair of sunglasses and what looked like a stun gun with a big light bulb. It was basically a neuralyzer to zap people's memories but in a different design.
"Whoa, who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?!" Mrs. McCann demanded.
"I was going to be the man to kill you, your husband, and your son, but I got a better idea that's more entertaining and satisfying," Future Lincoln said.
"What the fuck are you—?"
Before she could finish that sentence, Future Lincoln pulled the trigger, and a bright light flashed out of the bulb. In that instant, Mrs. McCann's anger disappeared, and their memories were erased.
They said nothing as Future Lincoln put away the neuralyzer gun and sunglasses. Then Chandler broke the silence, "Who are you? And who am I?"
"I'm just your neighbor, coming over to wish you guys a safe trip before you leave the state of Michigan to move down to Oklahoma," Future Lincoln answered. Then he bent down and looked the boy square in the eye, "Your name is Larry – Larry Ebola Gonorrhea Lame. You hate comics, video games, cartoons, anime, sports, music of any kind, girls, women, cars, beaches, roller coasters, fast food, and socializing. You love tofu, dirt, mud, and pigs. You have a mild fascination with earthworms. You don't bathe as much as you should, and soon as you grow into your teens, you'll become a heavy smoker."
Chandler, now Larry, nodded, "Okay."
Future Lincoln turned toward the boy's mother, "Your name is Labia. Labia Lipton Lame. You're extremely religious but welcoming to any and all people. You only have sex once a year, and the reason why you keep the house clean is that you have obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is why you have an irresistible urge to pick up any trash you see in the streets."
She nodded, "I see."
Future turned to the father, "Your name is Dick. Dick Humper Lame. You're from an extremely Jewish family. You're very talkative, you're not physically active except when you're working on your pig farm, and you suffer from hypochondriasis, especially rare diseases and illnesses that most people have never heard of. You're overbearing to your son to inherit the family property and carry the legacy."
"What family property and what legacy?" Mr. McCann, now Dick Humper Lame, asked.
"You and your wife are going to quit your jobs today. You're selling your house and moving out of Michigan. You'll spend every ounce of money you own, including your son's college money, to buy land in Oklahoma to start a pig farm. Your wife will handle the paperwork while you and your son do all the physical work. And you're leaving and buying land there as soon as possible. Have safe travels, and don't worry about the tornadoes. Oh, and you've never heard of anyone named Lincoln Loud and have no interest whatsoever with him or anyone in Royal Woods," Future Lincoln said.
When he walked out, the parents called their bosses to tell them they quit while their son went to his bedroom to pack. Future Lincoln pulled out a light orb to see the future of Chandler cloning himself fade away into nonexistent. A new future emerged. It showed Chandler living an unhappy life working on a poor pig farm that got destroyed three times by tornadoes. That cocky bully is long gone. No wife, no kids, not even a husband. Just ex-boyfriends and friends that don't get him. He smokes and drinks a lot as he grows up. He goes bald and fat before he's even out of his thirties. He dies of lung cancer at the age of 41.
"Sad ending of a sad life. It's what you deserve, you son of a bitch. That takes care of that problem. Now, let's see how my family is doing at trying to be a better family," Future Lincoln said as he walked down the street.