Chapter 10

"Mind if I have a word with you?" Professor Horsewood asked Pherein as the warrior sat talking with the other two guards.

"Of course, sir," Pherein answered respectfully ending the conversation with a nod and standing up.

The pair moved off beyond the edge of the camp into the darkness of the night.

Lauren watched them go and was troubled. She'd tried to talk to the big Delorgan several times since they'd set up camp for the night but each time he'd been conveniently engaged in something else or stuck close to the other two guards, Winchell and Farr. The sensitive woman's heart began to ache for a reason she couldn't quite put her finger on. Travis came over to engage her in conversation, trying to re-establish something with her, distracting the thought that had started to form in her mind.

"What is it, sir?" Pherein asked as they moved to a place they could talk.

"Please call me Heinrich, Pherein," the Professor reminded him.

"Very well. What is it, professor?"

"Is everything okay? You seem troubled."

"All is well. We're quite safe here I believe and soon we will make Grantsbend," the fighter answered.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Horsewood pressed in.

Pherein knew it too but had tried to deflect the question. Automatically he began to formulate a safe answer, one that would be behind a wall of stone and protecting his emotions. The stoic man opened his mouth, but he looked at the academic and saw an empathy in the man's expressive eyes that disarmed him. So, instead he tried to be as honest as he could.

"I don't know, professor…I mean, Heinrich," Pherein answered with a frustrated shake of his head. "Something is heavy on my heart, but I'm not even sure how to explain it to myself let alone to someone else I barely know."

"That's fair enough and totally understandable," the academic responded patiently. "I cannot begin to tell you what is in your head, or what you've gone through, but I am a good listener, and I am interested in helping you."

"Why do you care?"

"We've faced death together." Horsewood chuckled. "I am sure that means nothing to you, but this was my first experience, so I feel a bond with you."

Pherein shook his head at the enigmatic man and couldn't help chuckle himself. "No, that means something to me. I guess I'm just not used to people caring what I'm thinking. Most only are interested that my sword is sharp and it swings true. You seem different."

Horsewood beamed at the compliment from the veteran warrior but didn't say anything.

"It's this damned place," Pherein spat out in anger. Then calming he said, "No, that's not true. It's me. I've changed since I've been away from home, and I do not like what I see."

"What do you mean?" Horsewood asked quietly. "You are an honorable man; a faithful companion and I like you very much."

Pherein felt his chest tighten and he convulsed once involuntarily in emotion at the kind statement. "You don't know anything about me."

"Oh no?" Horsewood countered with a sly raising of his eyebrow. "I am a professor. Do you not think I can't do my research? I checked on you thoroughly, Pherein MacDiarmidson of Clan MacDiarmid. I think I understand what you speak of more than you can imagine."

"What? You knew and you still hired me? Why?"

"My colleague, Professor Pinn, who I trust implicitly, said that while you may be lost you are a man of integrity and character, a man implicitly to be trusted."

"He did?"

"He did. And Pherein, you have more than proven yourself on this quest. I fear though, you're a young man who has lost his way like one who has lost a compass and cannot find true north because it is cloudy."

"That I am," Pherein confessed. He looked at the professor again who showed nothing but care and decided to share everything with him.

Two-and-a-half hours later the pair returned to camp and while the others didn't seem to notice, or care, Lauren noticed there was a changed expression on the face of the islander. He looked at peace and this made her smile.

The following morning Lauren was up what she thought would be early enough but already Pherein was gone. The others were stirring and preparing breakfast before camp would break for the return home.

Home.

The idea concerned the woman in a way that she couldn't understand though if honest with herself she knew why. Travis came over with a plate of food he'd prepared for her. A peace offering she had no interest in. The thoughtful woman graciously accepted it which obligated her to eat with him.

The fellow student made it very clear he wanted to continue with what they'd had before. He looked eagerly for a reply.

What DID we have before? Lauren thought to herself, shaking her head.

"What?" Travis asked.

"Pardon?"
"I said 'what', as in what's on your mind?"

"This is not going to work between us, Travis."

"Excuse me?"

"I know what you are angling for and it's not going to work. I apologize if I led you astray with my intentions, but I see you no more as a fellow student." The kind-hearted woman could see the look of pain on the young man's face so added, "but we can be friends. I'd like that actually."

"Friends?" he scoffed. "Whatever. See if you can do better than me. You were lucky I was even interested. I don't know what I even saw in you."

Travis got up and stormed away.

A wave of insecurity hit the sensitive woman. What if he's right? What if no one else is really interested in me? Then she became suddenly honest with herself. What if HE is not interested in me?

"Is everything all right, Lauren?"

The tormented woman looked up, eyes glassy, to see Professor Horsewood looking at her with a sympathetic look.

"Oh professor! I don't know," the woman answered forlorn.

"I noticed the conversation between you and Travis. It seems like you've made a decision with regards to that boy."

The man was perceptive.

"You're right. And I'm ashamed of myself for making it appear I was interested in him."

"But you are interested in another?"

"Well, no…I mean…what are you saying, professor?"

Horsewood only raised one eyebrow inquisitively.

Lauren's face reddened at the look from her teacher yet there was no air of condemnation in it, rather one of sympathy, and dare she believe, support?

"What do I do?"

"Lauren, you are one of the brightest students I've ever taught, and it has been a joy to watch you grow but there's something else I've noticed about you."

"What?"

"You hide your feelings. You hide your passions behind a wall. I know they're safe there, but you miss out on the adventure of life. I believe there is much more to you than the world, than he, has seen of Lauren Ivanov. I leave you with that thought for we need to prepare to leave. But know I am here for you, to support you, to cheer you on and to help you in anything I can.

"Thank you, Professor Horsewood, truly," Lauren answered, almost breathless, a single tear dropped and stained her pale cheek. "I'm not sure anyone has ever done that for me before."

The professor gave an embarrassed smile, nodded his head in appreciation and walked off to see to the arrangements for the day leaving the woman with her thoughts.

Lauren didn't see Pherein until the outline of the city walls of Grantsbend appeared on the horizon, but it didn't matter. She knew what she had to do.