Chapter LXXV

My Life Is in your Hands

I let out the longest sigh of my life. I'm impatiently awaiting the arrival of Shikamaru, who has decided to make me wait. Since I've lost track of time, I feel like hours have passed. I'm trapped in this prison of flesh that is my body. The boredom grows and becomes unbearable. All in all, I console myself that I no longer suffer martyrdom. The first night spent in this room was the worst of my entire life; a real hell that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I can't sleep. Other than talking to myself, I can't chat with Naruto due to his silence. I can't move my arms and therefore play any game with him to chase away the boredom that is slowly killing me. I desperately need to be entertained, to be stimulated. The gentle caresses in my hair leave me indifferent now.

What I'd give to read something.

In search of visual entertainment, I sweep my gaze everywhere around me. I observe the window through which I contemplate the village and the horizon, the next bed, Naruto watching over me, the tiles, the extinguished neon lights, the ceiling, the bedside tables, the wardrobes… Suddenly, an epiphany illuminates my spirit. My shinobi gear should be in the wardrobe. A copy of the Make-Out Paradise that I carry everywhere with me must be there. I can't move my arms, of course, but knowing Naruto, he will obey my slightest request.

"Naruto. Do you see the wardrobe over there?"

The blond turns his head, looking for the thing I'm referring to, wagging his black tail. When his eyes focus on the wardrobe in question, he returns his attention to me and raises an eyebrow.

"This is where my things are stored. Inside you'll find one of my books. Can you bring it to me, please?"

Faithful to his silence, he doesn't answer me. However, he understands me since he releases my hand, goes to the wardrobe and looks inside. His back hides my vision, but I can see my accomplished ninja jacket and my clothes, including those of the teenager. As his tail twirls playfully, he takes off his hospital jacket and tucks it inside.

The ebony mosaic tattooed on his back overwhelms my eye every time. The more I contemplate it, the more I find it magnificent. The abstract shapes fit Naruto's curves and muscles to perfection. I wonder if the markings are the same among other chakra devourers, or if they're unique like fingerprints.

Naruto puts on my long-sleeved shirt… I let out a sigh of exasperation; he annoys me by always stealing it from me whenever he gets the chance. I'd rather see him shirtless than see him walking around with my stuff on his back. The feral boy begins to inspect my clothes. He shoves his hand into my back pocket, from which he takes out the object of my desire. At the sight of my beloved book, I'm a little too excited. If I could, I'd tremble.

"Yes! That's it! Come back!" Naruto closes the wardrobe and returns to my bedside, book in hand. "Can you climb on top of me and hold it up in front of my eyes on page 52?!"

He gently places the book on my chest. With great caution, he climbs into my bed, making sure not to crush me. He spreads both my arms to put his two legs on either side of my body. He takes the book, which he opens to the requested page and holds it out in front of my face, at eye level.

"Perfect, Naruto! Stay like that!" I exclaim enthusiastically as I began reading.

Obediently, Naruto turns the pages when I ask him, becoming my arms and hands. Fortunately, my silent giggles don't bother him. I can finally distract my mind from a thousand and one questions. I desperately needed to think of something else. Plus, it helps me pass the time.

- XxX -

Distant footsteps break the silence and quickly, a silhouette appears in the door window. The latter knocks and enters. I recognize Shikamaru. He knows the reason why he was summoned; he's nervous, and his posture lacks confidence and nonchalance. I ask Naruto to put my book aside and move away from me—something he does immediately before sitting down again.

"Yo!" I greet him.

"You seem to be doing better … a bit too much for my taste," Shikamaru dryly says, pulling up a stool to sit next to Naruto.

"It's not just an impression, Shikamaru. I'm under his hypnotic powers. Apart from my mutilated arms, I no longer have any pain."

"He's capable of doing that? Damn. Is there a limit to his powers?"

"I wonder… Although his eyes are exceptional, the repercussions are too serious for him, much more than we thought."

"What do you mean?"

At the same time, Naruto takes my hand and caresses it with his thumb.

"His eyes temporarily lose their light."

"Blind, huh? I understand better why he refuses to use them. Making him speak this way is also not an option since it'll cause him stress."

I nod. I've had doubts in the past. Thinking back to that horrifying night when I was at the mercy of a nightmarish Naruto about to assault me, his eyes were veiled in darkness. He couldn't see at all; he even hit his head against the bottom of the bed. He used his nose to orient himself in the environment. I assumed it was due to his meltdown.

Thinking back to that moment when he showed me his dream, in which I abandoned him in a cage, the power used for his eye powers determines his time of blindness. Since I didn't fight against his genjutsu by embracing it with open arms, it took less effort. My reasoning is logical; I'm convinced that's it.

"Tell me. How many days have I been hospitalized so far?"

"Soon five days," he replies.

Shikamaru observes my torn and mutilated arms. I can't hide them under the blanket. Unnecessarily, I'm ashamed that they're seen like this. The many bites, the reason for his visit… I can easily guess what he's thinking.

"Do you really think you can change his mind, Kakashi-Sensei?" he worries, not at all convinced that I can persuade Naruto.

A silence settles in.

"There is no other way. We both know what will happen if I fail."

The tension is palpable. My heart is racing. I will die. Naruto will also die if he refuses to devour Shikamaru's chakra. I don't know what makes him want only my lightning chakra. Based on the information we have on the chakra devourers, he should accept without hesitation. If it benefited us before, this unhealthy obsession with my chakra puts us in real trouble now.

To save the both of us.

I have to convince him.

There are no other options.

I lock my gaze on Naruto, who looks into mine. A lump in my throat prevents me from making the slightest sound, which is nothing more than useless whispers now. My body is completely paralyzed, but I manage to squeeze Naruto's hand. I take a deep breath to untie my vocal cords that are reluctant to express themselves.

"Naruto... I'm gonna be honest with you. What I'm gonna tell you won't please you at all…"

My words panic the teenager, who holds his breath as he moves closer to me. He takes my hand with his now trembling ones. Whimpers escape his lips as fear possesses and engulfs him more and more. I have his full attention, even though he's terrified to the point of holding back tears.

"I know you do, Naruto. I need your venom to heal, and my chakra reserves are too low to give you anything. Naruto… If you can't poison me again… Inevitably, I will die. I will disappear. Do you understand what I'm telling you, Naruto?"

Unsurprisingly, Naruto's trembling even more. His deep blue irises release saline drops. While crushing my hand, Naruto lets out whimpers fuelled by sorrow and a pain that stabs him in the heart. He understands the severity of the situation.

"Naruto, the only way to save my life is for you to devour Shikamaru's chakra."

Naruto gasps, jumping. Excruciatingly slowly, he turns his head to look at the other boy, who already has his left arm extended towards him. His eyes stare at him with anguish. An abstract and inconceivable distress strikes him. Naruto looks at me again and brings my hand to his heart. I feel the beating of his organ of love more unleashed than ever. The imposed dilemma is tearing him in two…

"There are no other solutions, Naruto," I insist. "I know it hurts you, but you have no choice."

His normally tanned skin becomes as white as mine, or even whiter. His breathing is jerky and noisy; he begins to hyperventilate.

Naruto has a panic attack.

"NARUTO! LOOK AT ME!"

My cry captures all his attention. His tears are clear waterfalls that flow freely. In turn, my chest hurts; his pain reaches me and splits me in two. I feel so helpless. For our survival, he must do it, break the chains of his food blockage that condemns us both to imminent nonexistence; the only cure to escape death is his venom that I sadly need to stay alive.

"You have to do it, Naruto… It's that … or I won't be in this world anymore… You're gonna find yourself all alone because I'm gonna disappear. I don't want you to see me die slowly, Naruto. You can't choose. It's the only thing you can do."

Once again, I manage to squeeze his hand with all my strength. "I promised to protect you, not to abandon you … but you must help me keep my promise, Naruto. Without your help, I will fail to keep my word. My life is in your hands…"

The blond whines in despair and his teeth grind roughly together. He closes his eyes, places my hand on his face and hides behind it. The pain that shakes Naruto is so great that his gasps of grief seem painful. His mouth opens, his lips gesticulate awkwardly, then immediately stop. My heart stops. For a second, I thought he was coming out of his silence, but his voice is still muted. All I could read on his lips was the syllable "ka."

"Naruto..."

His darkened eyes wander over to me, then to Shikamaru, again and again. His gaze is empty. His cries suddenly become silent, as if something inside him has broken. Reluctantly, he puts my arm back in its place. I hold my breath—rather, I forget to breathe. Naruto finally gives in. I touch with my fingertips the hopes that are so inaccessible.

For the first time since the beginning of this whole story, I won't be the victim of his monstrous, painful fangs.

Shikamaru isn't calm at all. He's arched, sweating and tense like concrete. He doesn't show it, but stress is crawling under his skin; his chest which swells too quickly betrays him. Just like me, he understands that Naruto is about to inflict on him the abuse that I experience daily. The pain caused by his bites isn't unknown; I've written numerous detailed reports on the subject. Additionally, Shikamaru witnessed my martyrdom on several occasions.

We wait with dread for Naruto to comply. He completely freezes in place, staring at the nothingness in front of him; he's still in mental distress over the situation. Nevertheless, he finally places his anguished eyes on Shikamaru's forearm. Reluctantly, his hands grasp it.

At the same time, Shikamaru immediately stiffens. A growing panic seizes him; he fears Naruto's killer fangs about to pierce him. I understand. After all, I'm their favourite victim. Not to help him, Naruto is rough. Shikamaru's arm is already scratched, and the blond digs his sharp nails deeper into his flesh.

Naruto's eyes light up, but he can't bite him. He opens his mouth, brings his canines closer… They don't even graze the skin before he withdraws, groaning. He tries again … and does absolutely the same thing again, indirectly tormenting Shikamaru. Unfortunately, he continually tightens his grip on the fragile limb. The youngster lets out a moan of pain when I hear a worrying crack. Naruto is slowly breaking his arm … and Shikamaru is being brutalized for nothing since Naruto can't bite him.

"Naruto! Look at me!" I call out to him out loud. "Stop thinking. Focus on me. Do it for me and no one else, Naruto. I believe in you. I know you can do it. Save my life, Naruto. Please."

Naruto hisses a high-pitched sound that seems unpleasant to Shikamaru, given that he flinches as he places his free hand over one of his ears. Naruto's eyes are waterlogged, and a few dark hairs stand up. His face distorts and is so frightening that it makes my blood run cold; his gaze is as icy as the highest snow-capped mountains in this world. Without warning, he fiercely bites Shikamaru's arm, who lets out a scream before plunging into hell.

Shikamaru squirms in pain and bites his own fingers until they bleed. His breathing starts in a rush. His hemoglobin-stained hand grips the blond hair, and he tries to push Naruto away. The odious pain instinctively forces him to fight against the predator, which feasts on his chakra while firmly holding his grip. The hands armed with claws tighten more and more like a murderous vice, in which the bone is crushed and cracked.

As for me, I can only watch helplessly as this scene unfolds before my eyes. Hearing the sounds of distress that resemble abstract cries for help, I sympathize with Shikamaru being tortured alive. He can only go through this ordeal, endure it until the very end. Seeing the violence Naruto shows… I feel bad for him…

However, even if Naruto likes Shikamaru, I fear he won't stop. Naruto is hungry; he hasn't eaten in over five days. The risk of him taking Shikamaru's life is very real. I must intervene and therefore avoid a tragedy.

"Naruto! That's enough! Let go of him!"

Naruto lets out a ferocious growl, and a final crack tears a scream from Shikamaru. The bone in his arm has just broken.

Naruto violently pushes Shikamaru, who falls heavily to the ground with a thud. Lying in bed and unable to move, I can't see him. I can just hear his breathing and his moans that convey his agony. However, I don't have time to worry about him. At the sight of Naruto, my heart panics.

Naruto arches forward and his hands roughly grab his thick mop of hair. He shouts high-pitched wails that bury those of the other teenager, then his cries become howls. He shakes his head frantically, and his tail wags in all directions. It's not a panic attack, it's worse. He's unstable, as if he's going to explode. In all this, he's tearing his hair out.

"NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO!" I shout his name over and over again, but my voice doesn't reach him.

Suddenly, he collapses to the ground as well. To see what's happening, I have no choice but to use Sharingan. Naruto stands with difficulty on all fours and trembles like a leaf. He hiccups many sick noises and begins to vomit. When the sapphire-eyed boy stops his vomit dance, he clings to the bed sheets to keep from falling back. Apart from bile, he expelled almost nothing. I'm relieved; I was afraid that Naruto would return what he had just eaten if that's possible.

My student cries while hiding his face in the draperies; at that, his hand seeks mine and clings firmly to it.

Before I can say anything, the door swings open. Horrified, Sakura runs to Shikamaru's side.

"Shikamaru!" she cries, helping him sit down again.

"My arm's broken," he mutters, wincing in pain. "Get me out of here… I'm gonna die…"

Shikamaru stops compressing the bite on his spasming arm. The protruding holes still bleed just as much, flowing freely; he bleeds out. In all this, his arm is ugly with bruises of all kinds; a strange redness spreads across his swollen skin. Immediately, Sakura treats him with her medical ninjutsu. The damage that Naruto's monstrous fangs can produce sends shivers down my spine. Without the venom, the wounds are too big and deep. Blood can't clot if a vein is stabbed.

"… I don't know how you manage to endure … this hell every day, Kakashi-Sensei," Shikamaru hisses, grinding his teeth.

With a lump in my throat, I remain silent. This horrific scene disconcerted me too much to say anything. Naruto was so violent with him…

That said… I'm happy to exempt myself from this excruciating ritual for once. Naruto will have the energy to produce venom, with which he will save my life and his own. Unless I find someone else, Shikamaru will have no choice but to feed him a second time until I can do so.

Naruto's reaction worries me a lot… I don't know what could have caused him such distress like the vomiting. He's still greatly upset as he cries and cries. I can't do anything to ease his pain, protect him from it. If I could move, I'd take him in my arms and rock him tenderly…