82: Return to Form

Auron was leading her back up the steep path again at a sedate pace.

"You think we'll ever see him again?" Rikku asked, swinging Auron's hand in her own. "Actually, do you think he'll come back as a human? It's not humanity that's waiting for his return."

"He'll be human. I have full confidence in Jecht's ego, if nothing else." Auron huffed. "As for seeing him again…" He shrugged. "Maybe."

She sobered at his tone, studying their joined hands. Auron's maybe really meant probably not, at least for him. It reminded her starkly that his moving on would mean something different from hers. As Braska had said… she was the anomaly, as permanently frozen in her dream-state as Tidus – and now, maybe even Jecht – would be. Maybe she'd disappear like the spirits of Macalania if the world ever stopped believing in potential.

Auron didn't have that problem, though. He'd disappear much sooner.

"I was hoping we'd have more time together," she said, her feet coming to a standstill.

Auron stopped and turned to look at her, his eye crinkling in a silent laugh. "Two lifetimes weren't enough for you? You really are a greedy thief."

She grabbed onto him, and his arms came up around her. "I don't think I'm going back the same way you are," she mumbled into his coat. "I think… I'm going to keep on being me, forever. But you aren't going to keep on being you, once you go."

"Sorrow is what held me together for this long," Auron told her. "If I stayed on as myself into eternity, it would change me for the worse. The old man that I was might come back with a grudge." He shook his head. "Hanging on too tightly to the past warps all souls, eventually. Even the best-meaning of them." He drew back from her.

"I know. It's just… hard to say goodbye all over again." She thought about what Braska had told her… what she'd discovered about Spira's true nature. The world was a spiral. Just not of death. Still, even with hope restored, it continued to spin Auron out of her orbit.

"I pledged myself to you," he said solemnly. "If you wish us to be together in all things, I…" He hesitated. Then, with a deep breath, he looked her in the eye. "I can destroy your Fayth stone. Braska gave you his soul, but if I remove the anchor you both left behind, you'll have the freedom to make the same choice as the rest of us. To rejoin the cycle. And to eventually return… as a human again. We could leave the Farplane together. Be reborn again, together." His grip on her arms tightened, and his expression wasn't pleased.

"It still sounds like you'd have to kill me first, though," she said shakily. She imagined Auron standing at her Fayth stone, raising his sword. The Masamune, a piece of his own soul. Using it to fracture hers. She imagined him aging again with each strike, his hair turning whiter, the lines creeping back over his face as he destroyed her body to release her soul.

"I don't want to," he admitted lowly. "If you asked that of me, I would do it. I would do anything for you. But I'd rather you tried to live your own life first." He backed away from her slowly, and his gaze was kind. "I meant what I said. Perhaps… with a little less personal recrimination," he added, seeing her glare heat up. "But you deserve to live a life that is not defined around my existence. What Lenne wanted for you was wrong. And Braska didn't bring you back to be my lover. He brought you back to be yourself." He turned and began leading her back up that steep path, where the wildflowers thinned out and the sound of rushing water grew louder.

"Take your chance to live a little, Rikku. To enjoy the Spira that we made. All of us, together."

Rikku looked up, suddenly realizing where Auron had been leading her all this time. "This is the way back," she said, wondering how she hadn't noticed. She turned towards him, fear licking at her. "What kind of a life will it be without you in it?"

"It will be a good one," he told her, confident. "Your life will be what you make of it." He sighed, and looked at their hands. "I can wait here for your return. When you're satisfied with what you've experienced. I can wait until you're ready to let me leave." He smiled and kissed her knuckles. "For you, I can be patient."

She swallowed. "But you won't be out there, living that life with me."

"There are others who will be." He looked beyond her and sighed. "Like your suitor."

She blinked, then frowned. "What? Who?"

He turned her around. "Watch," he instructed her. "As I have been, since you fell in."

So she looked. There, on the Farplane plateau, she saw someone hunched over, sitting on a rock. His hands were crossed over his forehead, which was lowered to nearly his knees. He looked… exhausted.

"Oh," she breathed out, genuinely surprised. "What's he doing there?"

"A good question," Auron rumbled, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Al Bhed don't visit the Farplane."

Footsteps sounded, and Rikku's mouth fell open when she saw Yuna and Tidus appear.

Yuna's soft voice broke the silence. "Gippal?"

Gippal sprung to his feet, his shoulders straightening in surprise, before dropping back into his trademarked casual slouch with a smirk on his face.

"Hah! Couldn't resist my company, could you Yuna?"

Tidus glared at him, moving closer to Yuna. "Hey! Back off, man."

Yuna's concerned expression didn't change, though. "Gippal, it's been nearly a year now. You're the only one still here, and Leblanc's starting to think about charging you rent."

"Now isn't that more than just a little greedy of her?" he scoffed. "That woman drips money. She doesn't need any of mine."

Rikku shook her head, backing into Auron. "No way. He's chasing me because Cid's been trying to set us up. He's just using me to legitimize himself as the new leader—"

"This isn't about Leblanc and you know it!" Yuna's raised voice cut across the plateau like a whip, and Rikku turned in time to see Gippal flinch. "The Machine Faction is destabilizing the longer you spend down here! Rin and Nahdala can only do so much while you're…"

"Sulking," Tidus provided helpfully.

Yuna shouldered Tidus. "Be nice," she hissed, before addressing Gippal again. "If you don't come back soon, Cid's going to reestablish the Pollendina dynasty again, and—" She quieted down, obviously unwilling to badmouth her uncle, but the look on her always-expressive face was telling.

Tidus jumped in to rescue his girlfriend. "Even Brother doesn't want that," he said. "Come on. You already saw what he did to Zanarkand. There are still traditionalists left in the Al Bhed too, Gippal. You need to take charge before they band around Cid and make a move you can't counter." His voice was bright and he was arguing passionately for Yuna's sake, but Rikku could see real anger behind those easy words.

Tidus was mad, and Gippal knew it. Get your shit together before they drag my girl back into it.

Gippal hung his head and turned away from Yuna… which resulted in him facing them. Rikku watched his eye squeeze shut and his mouth flatten out; it was a vulnerable face, one she'd never seen him make before. He looked up, schooled his expression, and then put his back to them, addressing Yuna.

"You're her cousin. Family. Don't tell me you've given up on her too?"

Yuna dropped her hands. "No," she said quietly. "I miss Rikku. And… I have to believe she'll come back someday. She hasn't appeared on the Farplane yet. That means… we just have to wait until she's ready."

"And that's what I'm doing! Waiting! Unlike the rest of you hypocrites!" Gippal yelled, losing his cool.

Auron let out a soft, amused huff. "He reminds me of you."

"That's not very funny," Rikku said, her hands still on her cheeks as she tried to process this new information. Gippal… actually cares? Then she clenched her hands into fists. "Wait! You mean to say it took him thinking I was dead and gone before he got serious about me?" she seethed.

"As I said. Very much like you," Auron repeated, sounding even more amused.

That took the wind right out of her sails. She refocused on the conversation between the others, and realized Yuna was leading Gippal back into Guadosalam.

"Hey, Yuna? I'll catch up. Got some people I wanna see here first," Tidus called after them. She waved, and he watched Yuna and Gippal until they disappeared before turning to face them, obviously able to see them both. "Auron! Looking good," he said, raising an approving eyebrow. "Nice to see you're finally back too," he added, grinning at Rikku. Then he frowned. "… Where's my old man?"

Auron huffed. "I bet you'll find out soon enough. Don't worry about Jecht."

Tidus blanched. "You saying it like that only makes me worry more, you know." He rubbed the back of his head. "Anyway, Rikku. Are you ready for your big comeback yet? I know Yuna was acting all tough there, but she's just as heartbroken as Gippal. She just knows how to smile and hide it better than he does."

"You see?" Auron told her. "You have a life waiting for you to be lived."

"Y-yeah," she said shakily. "But, I, um." She turned around to face him, her head spinning from all of the possibilities spanning before her. Potential, she thought, cataloguing her many choices. To stay in the static stillness of the Farplane, trapped forever with Auron. To die with him and be reborn, leaving her old life behind. To come back and take control of her old life again, and send it in a new direction… one that wasn't always looking over her shoulder, at her memories.

"Do you truly want to continue to be trapped in the past with a memory of me?" Auron asked her softly. "I know you, Rikku. You're stronger than that. And as much as I want to be with you… I will never be able to be that selfish and destructive. Not to the woman I love." He leaned down and nuzzled her neck.

"Ugh! Alright, alright, I'm going," Tidus said, sounding disgusted. "But I hope you think about coming back this time," he added, his voice softening. "We miss you, Rikku. Don't forget about us."

Rikku waved Tidus off, then turned into Auron's embrace. "You tell me to leave, and then you kiss me like that…" she murmured.

"I died in Macalania a long time ago. This," he sighed, leaning into her, "Isn't what love is supposed to be, Rikku. It's not about throwing away your future to live in the past. Braska understood that too late. But he gave you the chance to escape his fate."

"Won't you be lonely here?" she asked him. "Don't you want to move on?"

"I still have my duty," he told her. "Your real body lies below, in the Farplane. And I am your Guardian now. I can at least wait for you to live out this lifetime."

She closed her eyes. "I don't want this to be the end of our story."

He smiled. "One day, you'll find me again." He drew a slow breath, obviously savoring her presence in his arms. "No. I will find you." She heard the promise in his voice. "When I do, write a new one with me then."

"It's time." They drew apart, looking at the child-form of Bahamut, who appeared before them. "Are you ready to leave now?" Bahamut asked her.

Rikku swallowed, and Auron stepped back. "Yeah," she said shakily, her eyes glued to Auron.

"I hope you have a happy life," he told her, his smile pained… but also proud.

"Thank you," she said, watching him. "For being my world for so long." He was disappearing; the white was returning, along with the sensation of falling.

"Find your way," she heard his voice echo in her ears. "I know you will."

"Auron—"

He disappeared, and there was only the soft rush of wind, the cry of the pyreflies, and the sound of beating wings.

.x.x.x.

Rikku woke up disoriented, a crush of arguing voices surrounding her. Her head hurt. Cracking her eyes open slowly, she winced and regretted it immediately. Even the dim light of Guadosalam stabbed into her eyeballs like knives. A soft groan escaped her.

"Hey." There was a whisper near her ear, so low that only she heard it. "Are you ready?"

"Nnng… nope," she groaned again, trying to turn her head away from Tidus and block the world out. "Go away." She felt him stifle a laugh, heard the rustle of cloth as he leaned back.

"I think she's awake!" he yelled over the din of the room, both to silence her audience and as payback for not cooperating.

Muzzily, Rikku reached for a pillow and considered chucking it at him, before deciding to settle it over her face instead, her ears ringing. "Can you all tone it down a notch?" she begged, her voice muffled.

The pillow was ripped away unceremoniously, and Rikku shrieked. A strong arm caught her before she could roll away, giving her a perfunctory slap on the cheek.

"OUCH!"

"Paine!" Yuna's voice sounded shocked.

"What? She's being a brat," Paine shot back, slapping her other cheek. "Rikku. Stop it. Wake the hell up, everybody's worried about you." Despite her harsh words, Rikku heard the undercurrent of worry in Paine's voice.

Sighing, she shook Paine off and sat up, holding her head. "Ugh! It feels like my eyeballs are trying to crawl out of their sockets," she moaned. She cautiously opened one eye and took in the room.

Yuna kneeled by her bed, her mismatched eyes wide and wet with tears. She had her hands over her mouth, an uncontrollable smile beginning to emerge from beneath them. Behind her, Tidus was grinning at her knowingly, his arms crossed. Sitting by her side, Paine was glowering at her, looking for all the world like she'd hit Rikku again if she tried to escape.

Paine shifted abruptly when Brother pushed her out of the way. "RIKKU!" he yelled, knocking her back against the bedrest with a hug. He was weeping openly, emotional enough that he'd even forgotten to be nervous around Yuna. "E druikrd oui fana kuha! Vunajan!" he yelled, crushing her so tightly that her breath left her in a whoosh and she tried to tap out on his shoulder repeatedly. "You do not do that again! NO FARPLANE!" he sniffled wetly, giving her another squeeze.

"Rao, rao!" she wheezed, shooting Paine a look of relief when the other girl peeled Brother off of her. "Crr. E's rana huf. E's rana," she said, ruffling her brother's Mohawk as he scrubbed at his eyes.

He continued to sob loudly even when Paine hauled him off the bed and handed him over to Tidus. "Go dry your man-tears on the guy who's used to getting soggy," she said irately.

"Well, this has been quite the show," a shrill voice cut in. Leblanc kicked away from the wall she'd been leaning against, fanning herself. "I'll report this back to Nooj," she said, closing her fan with a loud snap. Then she sashayed towards the door, stopping in front of Gippal, who was leaning against the other side of the doorframe. She hit his chest with her fan, looking annoyed. "I might even tell Baralai, so the boys can know when to expect you back."

Gippal shrugged, though his eye was glued on Rikku, the smirk on his face threatening to turn into a full-blown smile. "Don't tell me you're kicking me out already. I haven't even said hi to Cid's girl yet."

"Hah!" Leblanc arched an eyebrow and opened her mouth, looking annoyed that he wasn't even bothering to make eye contact with her. "It's high time you freeloaders—" She stopped when the silent figure next to Gippal pushed himself off of the wall.

"We stay." Kimahri crossed his arms and loomed over Leblanc, doing a much better job at staring her down from over his nose than she did, particularly with the way he towered head and shoulders above her. "Until Rikku tell us to go."

"Hmpf." Leblanc sent a cool glance towards Rikku over her shoulder. "Well. I suppose I might let you inconvenience me for a few more days." Her eyes narrowed. "But no more. You people are terrible for tourism." She flounced out of the room in a swirl of robes and perfume.

"Alright, alright," Tidus said loudly, still wrestling with her teary-eyed brother. "I think we're all being a little overwhelming here. Why don't we let Rikku catch up with Yuna first?"

"Yeah," Rikku said, looking at the crowd gathered around her, compressed into the tiny hotel room. It wasn't even everyone who would've worried about her, she knew instinctively. Her heart warmed as she looked at them.

How could I have ever forgotten? I had a life here, too.

Tidus was busy shooing everyone but Yuna from the room. Soon, she was left alone with her cousin.

Yuna leaned forward and gave Rikku a hug, much more gentle than her brother had, but with just as much emotion. "You're back," she breathed.

"Yeah," Rikku said, leaning into the hug, weary and relieved.

They separated after a moment, an unusual awkward silence filling the air between them. Normally, Rikku would have filled it with her non-stop chattering.

"You've gotten quieter," Yuna observed with a faint smile.

Rikku picked at her fingernails, blushing. "Umm… yeah. Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make everyone worry so much, Yunie."

Yuna grabbed Rikku's hands and separated them. "You were gone for a year," she said softly. "You just… disappeared. I was so worried at first, but then Tidus…" Her hands flexed and squeezed Rikku's fingers. "He told me everything would be okay. That he just knew. And then a few months after we lost you, Kimahri brought me this."

She released Rikku and reached into her pouch, pulling out a sphere. It wasn't centuries old, from the looks of it, but still a little dusty and worn. Yuna set it on the bed between them, fiddling with the switches. The sphere flickered, then buzzed to life.

"The secret to my success?" A loud laugh sounded. "Well I gotta admit – them sweet rolls really are somethin' else!"

Rikku's eyes widened, and she leaned down. Jecht was laughing at a large crowd; a familiar reporter was needling him.

"Seeing an Al Bhed in the middle of those Ronso Fangs was a real shock! Do you have anything to say about your decision to play for the newest team in the league?"

"No comment." Even with her voice pitched low, it couldn't have fooled Yuna. They watched the recording play out to the end of the painful interview.

"Luca has its eyes on you, Rikkma!"

Yuna shut the sphere down. The silence loomed between them.

"… Does anybody else know about this besides you and Kimahri?" Rikku asked after a moment.

"Tidus hasn't seen this, but I think…"

"Oh, he knows," Rikku answered for her.

Yuna nodded. "He's the one who carried you out of the Farplane. He said… you just appeared." She twisted her hands together. "You didn't just fall. What… really happened to you, Rikku?"

"Oh, Yunie… you're never gonna believe this," Rikku said, taking a deep breath, and let the dam burst.

After a torrent of words, some time, several tissues, and a few slices of Leblanc's Triple Love Chocolate Mousse Torte, Rikku finally finished telling Yuna the abbreviated version of her story. Well, most of her story, she amended, thinking about how she'd omitted the parts about falling in love with your hot playboy dad, nearly sleeping with him, and then stealing his soul. And also that little thing about being an aeon who could turn into a giant airship. Some things were better left unsaid, even between family. She had a suspicion that Yuna knew a little more about that last one than she was letting on, given that she was living with Tidus, but her cousin tactfully avoided digging deeper.

"I don't know," Yuna said, licking the last of the chocolate off of her spoon. "It's still kind of romantic, don't you think? Auron's waiting for you in the Farplane. You might be even able to see him if you went back!"

Rikku shook her head. "I bet Brother won't let me get close to the Farplane for years and years," she said with a laugh that died out slowly. "Besides… I think I finally see what Auron meant when I woke up to all you guys fussing over me. Going back now would be like rejecting his last wish. He wants me to be here. And I'm starting to think he's right."

"Hmm," Yuna said. "You… umm. You didn't really say so, but… it sounds like you became friends with my father, too."

"Mm-hmm," Rikku hummed lightly, feeling her heart race.

"I don't really remember you visiting us in Bevelle…" Yuna continued slowly.

"I did spend a lot of time on the roof arguing with Auron!"

"… but I don't really remember that much about my father, either," Yuna finished quietly. "It's silly, isn't it? I still remember Auron. And Jecht, showing me the Mark III," she giggled. But when she stopped, Rikku saw the fragile look in her eyes. "But all I remember about my own father is his leaving." She lowered her gaze. "He called Bahamut, and I was so impressed. But… I also wished… that he could've taken me with him, instead of that dragon." She looked up at Rikku, her face full of yearning. "Can you… tell me a little about my father? I… I want to get to know him."

"I…" Rikku's heart clenched. And then she leaned over and hugged Yuna. "He was wrong, Yunie. He was totally wrong about a lot of things. But there was one thing I'm sure of that never changed, no matter how many mistakes he made," she said, feeling it in her soul. "He loved you. And in the end… he wanted to be with you. To be a real dad for you. Sin… just got in the way."

She felt Yuna shudder against her and closed her eyes, feeling the slow thrum of her heart beating in her chest. "I'll tell you all about him, I promise," she whispered, drawing her fingers through Yuna's hair comfortingly and kissing the top of her head, just as Braska had always done. "Anything you want to know, for as long as you need."

Yuna's soft cries subsided, and she turned her cheek onto Rikku's shoulder. "Thanks." She laughed sadly. "It's… almost like I can feel him here with me."

Rikku huffed out an unsteady breath, blinking away her own tears. "Yeah. I know."

.x.x.x.

The parade of meetings, explanations, sphere calls, and general assurances that yes, she was okay and no, she hadn't gone crazy in the Farplane took all day. She was exhausted by the time night settled in Guadosalam, feeling completely wrung out despite not having fought a single battle at all.

It felt weird, walking through the quiet, empty streets without watching for fiends or a weapon in hand. She imagined exploring Guadosalam with Auron, Braska, and Jecht; marveling at the enormous tree roots and trying to get Jecht not to stare too much at the Guado. She lingered at the Farplane gates, watching the pyreflies slowly twist and twirl behind the stairwell.

"You're not thinking of going back in, are you?" Tidus jogged up, stopping beside her and putting his hands on his hips. "After all the trouble it took to get you outta there!"

Rikku shook her head. "Not really. I have a promise to keep to Yuna now." She side-eyed Tidus, then poked him in the ribs with an elbow. "I dreamed about you while I was there, you know. It was like you were talking to me from the future. Were you?" she asked.

He gave her a goofy smile and a small nod. "We're all connected now. So how's it feel, being the last two aeons left in Spira?"

Three, she thought, but decided to let Jecht surprise Tidus on his own. "Kinda… normal? I don't feel like an aeon at all."

"Yeah, about that," Tidus sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Listen… you need to remember to look the part." He gestured at his hair, which hung in shaggy strands below his ears. "Change your hairstyle every few years. Put some wrinkles in when you notice Yuna or Paine start having them. Maybe a new scar or two somewhere where they can see. If you never change, you won't blend in."

Rikku processed that, looking at Tidus in a new light. "You mean… you're aging just for Yuna's sake?"

"Mm-hmm," he said. He didn't seem bothered by it, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back.

She turned and sat at along the ledge of the staircase, swinging her feet over the side. It felt nostalgic. "Doesn't it bother you that Yuna will eventually die and move on without you?"

Tidus paced behind her with slow, thoughtful steps. "I'd be lying if I said I was fine with it. But, well…" He sighed. "She brought me here. I don't want to disappoint her or make her sad. So that's why I'm gonna try my best to be exactly what she wants me to be: a normal guy, living a normal life."

Rikku snorted. "Not a blitzball superstar?"

"Naw," Tidus laughed. "That was my old man's thing. I don't mind playing, but Yuna's more important to me than any game." He shrugged. "I'm looking forward to it. Staying by her side, hopefully growing old together too." A shadow passed over him. "I guess I'll still be here when she goes. But… I'm not gonna spoil my time with her right now worrying about what might happen in the future. I deserve some happiness! And Yuna does, too."

He said it so casually, declaring his complete and utter devotion to her cousin; it was like it had never even occurred to him to be any way else. Rikku felt a sudden jolt of fondness for him. "You're just like your dad," she giggled.

"Hey! If you're just gonna insult me, then I'm leaving," Tidus huffed.

"Go run back to Yunie," she laughed at him. "I'll be fine. And Tidus?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for the advice." She grinned at him, and he tipped his fingers at her.

"No problem. It'll be our secret!"

"You two trading little secrets already?"

Tidus turned around, scowling.

Gippal strolled up behind him, his grin wolfish. "Didn't think you had it in you, Tidus!" he needled. "Wonder what Yuna would think if she heard you canoodling with Cid's girl like that?"

Tidus fumed silently, glaring at Gippal. He turned back to Rikku, stabbing a finger at her. "You," he declared, "Have awful taste in guys. I'm leaving before whatever's wrong with you rubs off on me. See ya!" He ran off, snickering to himself.

Gippal stared after Tidus, confused. He swung around to look at Rikku. "What was all that about?"

Rikku was too busy covering her cheeks, which were burning red from both embarrassment and indignation. Did Tidus say that just because I used to date Gippal? Or was it because I was seeing Auron, who was kind of like his foster dad? Huh, or maybe he figured out that I kissed Braska, who's technically his father-in-law… Realizing she was only digging herself a bigger hole, she gave up and focused on revenge instead. I'll make him pay later! Belatedly, she noticed Gippal was strolling up to her, acting like he hadn't been camping out in Guadosalam for a year and pining after her like a lovesick puppy.

"It's an inside joke," she grumbled. "What do you want, Gippal?"

"Whoa," he said, taking a step back and holding his hands up. "What's with all the heat, Cid's girl? I was just stopping by." He was definitely going for casual in front of her, but she'd seen his face when he'd thought he was alone.

Do I really have to do this now?

She looked back at the Farplane, thinking wistfully of what it might have been like to grow old together with Auron. After talking with Tidus, the sting of never having had the chance cut deeply. If she closed her eyes, she could still taste Auron's lips on her and feel the weight of him in her arms. And on top of that, she was reeling from the force of Braska's desire; that his consumption with the idea of being in love had resulted in her co-opting his actual soul.

Whatever Gippal was feeling for her felt foreign and unwelcome, like a child playing at the idea of love. The weight of two Pilgrimages had changed her; she knew the matchstick Gippal was trying to light would be burnt to a crisp by the inferno she'd already immolated herself in.

No wonder Auron was so rude to me the first time around, she thought with a wry smile. It tapered off into a feeling of abstract sadness; even the scorn and impatience she was feeling right now she'd learned from him.

"My name's Rikku. I haven't been Cid's little girl for a long time," she said to Gippal tiredly. "And you're not just stopping by. This is the Farplane, if you hadn't noticed. I know how you feel about it."

He bristled. "Well, I thought I knew how you felt about it too, but then you went and threw yourself into it for an entire year!" He stopped himself, then growled. "This isn't what I— look. I'm just trying to say, I'm glad you're back. I was…" His face flushed. "Worried. People were saying you were gone." He looked down at his shoes, scuffing the tip of his boot into the rock. "I don't know what I would've done if you'd died."

She crossed her arms, eying him. "Thanks," she said, and was surprised to find she meant it. "But you still shouldn't have abandoned the Machine Faction. You are the Faction! Spira needs you now more than ever."

Gippal groaned, throwing his arms up. "Great. Not you too! Can't I worry about you even just a little bit without getting grief for it?"

Rikku rolled her eyes and smirked. "You never worried about me before. Why start now?"

He glared at her, his mouth working, before he snapped it shut. "Yeah, whatever," he growled. "I don't know why I even bother. You never take me seriously."

Rikku tensed, looking at the swirls of the pyreflies behind the gate. She felt older now, and wiser. And this time, she heard the hurt in his voice. Had it always been there, when they'd verbally sparred? Maybe; she'd just never bothered to listen for it before.

The nature of love is more expansive than that, her soul whispered to her. Those feelings aren't tied to single persons.

Just because she didn't understand or want Gippal's love – that didn't make it, or the hurt he was feeling, any less real.

"Sorry," she said, walking up to him. He reared back, surprised by her sudden proximity, but she reached out and grabbed his hand. "I do take you seriously. You're the best mechanic I know. You're a good friend and an even better teacher. You took our people and gave them something to work for, something to be proud of. The Machine Faction is changing the way everyone sees the Al Bhed. We're no longer Spira's boogeymen. I love what you've done so far. And I even really did love you once, too." She felt the tremor in his fingers at that. "But I'm not ready for whatever it is you're trying to tell me now." Not when I'm still filled with the sight and the sound and the taste of Auron's memory.

She smiled up at him, squeezing his hand. "Thank you for caring, Gippal. Maybe someday I'll be able to answer your feelings seriously, too. But not today. Of course," she said, releasing him and stepping back, swaying on her heels. "If you'll settle for having me as your friend… I can try to be a better one, this time around."

Gippal stared at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. "You've changed," he said, sounding surprised. "You're all grown up now."

Her grin widened. "Well, it had to happen sometime."

"Huh." His eyes narrowed shrewdly. "You're right. I should be getting back to the Machine Faction. You wanna come with? Being Partners in Crime sounds a lot better than being a Gull-girl."

"Hmpf! Negotiate my release of contract from the Gullwings with Brother first. Then we'll talk," she said, smirking. Turning around, she looked back at the Farplane and put a hand to her lips, blowing out a soft kiss.

Can you see me now, Auron? This is my story, and I'm gonna try my best.

A/N:
E druikrd oui fana kuha! Vunajan! = I thought you were gone! Forever!
Rao, rao, ed'c ugyo. Crr. E's rana huf. E's rana. = Hey, hey, it's okay. Shh. I'm here now. I'm here.