Chapter Two

If You Were Alive

Daniel materialised in the living room of Gull Cottage. He stood still, looking around at the familiar things in the room. He was relieved to find nothing appeared to have changed, after all. The house was quiet, but he could hear the children playing ball with their dog outside in the front garden.

The happy, carefree sounds of their game comforted him. He closed his eyes, waiting for that strange, disconcerting sense of not belonging in his own house to return, but it didn't.

He frowned, as he sighed with relief. "Perhaps I allowed last night's excess of emotion to over-ride my good sense," he decided with a nod of satisfaction, stroking his beard with one hand. "Yes, that's it. Everything is ship-shape, as it should be."

He could hear Carolyn's voice in the kitchen. She was talking to Martha, but their conversation was muffled.

He walked toward the living room's open doors, willing to apologise for his reticence of the previous evening. He should not have left Carolyn to face her parents alone. He could have offered her his moral support if nothing else.

But as he approached the kitchen door he heard her next comment to Martha and he appeared to be the subject of their conversation. He stopped to listen, his relieved expression slowly deepening into one of stormy confusion.

"Oh, but, how can I love him, if there's no hope of us having any kind of future together?" Carolyn asked, in a tragic tone. "I once thought there was, but now I know I was wrong to even hope. If I cannot have him, what is the point in staying here just to watch everything I dreamed of having turn to dust?"

"Yes, there is the question," Martha replied thoughtfully. "I can see where you've got a problem. It isn't easy being in love with someone who ultimately can't love you back. It's a sticky situation you've got yourself into and it's not going to be easily resolved."

"Yes, that's why I came to ask for your advice." Carolyn sighed. "It always comes back to that. I can't seem to get past it. There doesn't appear to be any happy ending. And I need one, right now. Sometimes I wonder why I ever started this affair."

"Well, since you asked for my opinion, I think it would be better to make it a clean break. Maybe go away for a while, collect your thoughts and see if things are as hopeless as they appear to be. That may give you the answer you're looking for."

"Maybe you're right," Carolyn mused. "That's one solution. But what if all those confusing feelings still won't go away? What if they remain despite the distance? How will I get on, then? I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I don't have a lot of time. They won't wait for me to find a solution."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have chosen such a thorny issue to get all tangled up with in the first place," Martha advised candidly. "They always seem to come back to haunt you in the end when you've got no time left to nut it out properly. But, I guess it's too late now."

Daniel heard her walk from the kitchen table to the stove. "More coffee?" she asked. "Maybe it'll unblock your thinking. I know I could use another cup. How about another slice of cherry cake?"

"Thanks, but if I drink any more I won't be able to sleep for a week." Carolyn laughed ruefully. "And delicious as it is, I couldn't possibly eat another bite of your cake."

Daniel heard her push back her chair. "You've been a really big help with all of this, Martha. As soon as I'm finished here, I need to phone Claymore and talk to him about the final days of the lease. The next two weeks will go by very quickly and I want to be prepared."

"Good luck with that," Martha replied. "But what will your parents think? I wouldn't like to be around for that conversation."

"I'm not going to tell them anything until it's all finalised. They would fly straight back here if they knew. They can't wait to take me and the children back to Philadelphia with them. It seems Owen Mitford is still missing me."

"That wet blanket," Martha tut-tutted as she returned to sit at the table. "If you wanted to marry him, you'd have to cut him loose of his mother's apron strings first. But I do admire your courage. It can't have been an easy decision to make."

"It wasn't…" Carolyn sighed. "But what else can I do now? My hand has been forced. I need to resolve this issue, somehow."

"Yes, well you know I'll support you in anything you decide. We can get through this. We have before. Even if we have to start all over again…"

"That doesn't bear thinking about," Carolyn complained. "I don't know if I could, now. Oh, why do things always have to end up being so complicated?"

"Yes, well, I'll admit, I'm glad I have my Ed. Simple, uncomplicated Ed, who loves me for my cherry pie. You can't ever go wrong with cherry pie."

"You certainly can't."

The two women shared a comfortable laugh together as Daniel stood in the hall listening to their conversation. His unwelcome sense of disconnection returned with a vengeance.

Is Carolyn really planning to leave Gull Cottage in two weeks? Is she intending to take away everyone I've come to think of as my family?

Without any warning or consultation? Have they come to such an impossible impasse that she cannot see any other way out than to run away?

"Not if I have anything to do with it!"

Again, the previous night's conversation with her replayed in his mind. Her wistful comment continued to haunt him. 'Captain, if you were alive… if you were alive… were alive… alive…'

He knew what he had to do now. He couldn't see any other option if he wanted his adopted family to stay with him. He was sure Carolyn would agree to stay, if there was something to stay for. Or someone…

"Let it be so…" Lightning flickered and thunder rolled across the sky as he dematerialised, just as the children came clattering in through the front door followed by a barking Scruffy. They hurried into the kitchen.

"Is the Captain mad at something?" Jonathan asked, helping himself to a cookie from the plate on the table.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since last night," his mother told him. "I'm worried about him. It's not like him to stay away when I need to talk to him."

"Well, he must be really mad about something." Candy shrugged, also taking a cookie. "That storm sure came up quick."

"It's gone now…" Carolyn turned to look out the window behind her, her brow furrowing with concern. "I wonder where he is…"

"Yeah, I wish our homework would go away just as fast," Jonathan complained, taking a second cookie before dragging his feet toward the door.

"Come on…" his sister encouraged, pushing him forward. "I'll race you to see who gets finished first!" They left the kitchen in a chorus of shouts and Scruffy's excited barking as they raced each other up the stairs.

"I'll be up in my room, trying to finish this article, if you need any help," their mother called after them.

"Maybe you should give those two star-crossed lovers in your story a couple of kids and a dog to contend with. That would surely take their minds off all their emotional problems and angst."

She chuckled. "And you could throw in one irascible ghost for good measure."

"A good idea, but perhaps a little extreme for Feminine View." Carolyn smiled as she collected together her pages of typed work. "It's certainly never dull around here. Thanks for your help."

"Any time…" Martha waved her away. "Getting involved with other people's love affairs has always been my speciality."

"That and cherry pie." Carolyn leaned down to kiss her cheek before she left the kitchen.

As she crossed the foyer she glanced around. "Captain…?" she called. "Where are you? I really need to talk to you."

There was no reply and no sign of him. She sighed, missing his comforting, unquestioning support. They might never be able to touch, but they had so many other ways to communicate that had always soothed her rattled nerves.

She wished he'd been with her last night, facing her parents and their confident plans for her future. She badly needed to hear his opinion and to know he was on her side, as he had always been. She could never leave him, not now, and she needed him to understand that.

She walked up the stairs, pausing to frown at the Gatley barometer hanging on the wall. The quivering needle was pointing very firmly to stormy. Candy and Jonathan were right. Daniel was in a terrible mood about something. She hoped it was nothing serious. She didn't need another crisis right now.

"Blast it, why won't you answer me…?" she whispered fiercely, continuing up the stairs toward her bedroom. "And where have you gone? I need to see you. You'd better come back to me and soon…"

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Claymore sat at the small side table in his office, assembling an early midday meal with exaggerated care. It was a pleasant ritual he enjoyed almost as much as adding up his ledgers.

"One and one make two. Two and two make four…" he chanted happily to himself. "Four and four makes Claymore even more money…" He giggled gleefully as he carefully peeled the shell from a boiled egg before holding it up for close inspection. "Eight and eight better not make me late for my meeting…"

Pleased with the result of his shelling, he was about to place the egg on his plate for quartering when a sudden storm outside flashed with lightning. A peel of thunder rattled the entire building. Claymore yelped as he jumped in fright, his peeled egg flipping out of his fingers to splatter across the floor.

"Good morning, Claymore…" Daniel announced his sudden appearance icily.

"Um, good morning," Claymore replied warily, pulling the napkin from the collar of his shirt.

He shifted uneasily in his chair. "Is there something I can do for you, Captain? I was about to enjoy my meal and I don't want another attack of dyspepsia because you're here. And I have an urgent noon meeting at my bank that I can't possibly miss."

"Forget your meal and your blasted meeting!" Daniel folded his arms across his chest. "I'm here to tell you that Mrs Muir will be telephoning you to discuss the end of her lease. You will not talk to her. If she comes to see you in person, you will not be in. You will avoid her at all costs. Or it will the worse for you."

"What do you mean, discuss the end of her lease?" Claymore's face went white with dismay. "What's happened between you two to make her want to do that?"

"It's been two years, you addle-pated ninny!" Daniel told him. "Two years since she took the lease on Gull Cottage! You should have been keeping a closer watch over your affairs instead of feeding your stomach!"

"Ah, well, she's always paid on time before. Maybe she intends to renew her lease…" Claymore tried valiantly. "I'm sure that's it. I mean, she seems very happy there… with you. Surely it's just an oversight. What with the wedding and all, she must have just forgotten all about it. It does happen, you know."

"No, you simpering dolt! I heard her telling Martha her plans for their future, not ten minutes past. And they do not include me. It seems Mrs Muir's parents will be returning in two weeks to take her and the children back to Philadelphia."

"But… but, who will I get to take over the lease?" Claymore jumped up. "There won't be any other takers, not with you around." He swallowed tightly. "Um, you wouldn't consider… ah… perhaps finding somewhere else to haunt? Somewhere far, far away?"

He brightened. "I have it! Why don't you go with her to Philadelphia?"

"No!" Daniel glared at him. "Gull Cottage is my home and always will be! But now that I have engaged your mercenary interest, you will do as I command?"

"Yes, yes, of course…" Claymore nodded quickly, sinking back into his chair. "I will avoid all contact with Mrs Muir. If she phones, I'm not in. I'll keep the door locked in case she shows up. My lips will be sealed." He swiped two fingers across his mouth.

"Make sure they are." Daniel glowered at him. "Or I will make sure you regret the day you were born!"

Claymore raised one hand cautiously. "Um, I hate to bring this up. But what if she doesn't try and contact me? What if she goes straight back to Philadelphia with her folks and just allows the lease to expire?"

"Leave that to me." Daniel sighed. "I have a plan…"

"I thought you might…" Claymore clasped his hands together. "For once, Great-Uncle, we are in perfect agreement."

"Excellent."

"You know, we really should have more pleasant chats like this. You always want something horrible from me or you're trying to scare me half to death." Claymore smiled weakly.

"Do not push my patience too far!" Daniel snapped.

"Of course, of course…" Claymore mumbled. "Forget it. I was just thinking out loud."

"It pains me to know what weak clay I have to work with…" Daniel shook his head at his great-nephew before dematerialising.

"I wish I'd never heard of Gull Cottage…" Claymore sat staring at his plate of food and the smashed egg on the floor. He always lost his appetite whenever the Captain interrupted him at mealtime.

"What am I going to do with it if the Muirs leave? I can't possibly afford the upkeep. I'll just have to sell up…"

That option didn't bear thinking about. It felt as of the last two years had not existed and he was back, trying to explain to an extremely volatile ghost that the house he'd chosen to haunt for over a hundred years would soon be pulled down around his disbelieving ears.

"Why is it always me who has to try and tell him?" Claymore sighed as he picked up a lettuce leaf and began to chew on it. His normally glum expression deepened into morose.

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