Chapter Twenty-Three

Are We Still Allowed To Dream?

"What's happening?" Carolyn looked around in confusion. "Why am I back here?"

Once again she was standing in the foyer of Gull Cottage as she had been in her fever dream. But this time there was no flickering candlelight or liveried servant carrying a tray heaped with food.

A lantern spread a pool of flickering light from a stand beside the front door. There was no sight or sound of anyone else. The staircase was in darkness.

Unsure of what she expected to see, Carolyn looked down at her clothes, only to find as before, they'd been replaced. But this time, by a ball-gown of soft peach silk trimmed with long falls of antique cream lace. The bodice was set off her shoulders, and scalloped low across her chest.

"Am I dreaming?" She raised the folded fan she held in her hand, seeing she now wore long white evening gloves to her elbows. "All I said was, I liked the idea of dancing with Daniel at Christmas…"

She put out one foot from beneath her skirts to assess the soft satin dancing shoes on her feet. "I guess I must be dreaming…"

She closed her eyes, drawing a long breath of anticipation and releasing it slowly. She wondered where her husband was. She couldn't wait to see him.

She put a hand to her head. It didn't ache anymore. She felt a deep sense of relief she'd finally made a decision over what to do about her parents this Christmas and she knew it would be the right one for them all.

She found her hair was now dressed up on the back of her head, long ringlets falling to dance around her bare shoulders. She put one gloved hand to discover a pair of curling ostrich feathers nodding above her elegant coif.

"Okay…" She dropped her hand, curiosity drawing her forward. "Not bad so far, as dreams go…"

Walking to the front door, she opened it and looked out. But this time the front lawn was completely deserted. There were still the strings of coloured lanterns, but no sign of any musicians, elegant dancers, and no tables of food and beverages.

No horse-drawn carriage stood waiting at the front gate for its passengers. The swinging lanterns gave the only illumination, beyond the full moon slowly rising overhead. Running beside them were strings of fancy Christmas decorations and great bows of red satin had been tied around the necks of the two lions that guarded each side of the front porch. They both looked somewhat disgruntled with their new finery.

But, despite the total lack of an orchestra, there was music playing. A soft, Viennese waltz drifted on the soft evening breeze. It swirled around Carolyn, drawing her out onto the front porch, and down the steps.

Standing in the middle of the wooden dance floor, laid out on the grass as before, Daniel was waiting for her. He was once more resplendent in his naval uniform and dress sword as he had been in her fever dream and then at their incredible wedding in this very garden. Carolyn smiled, as the sweet memories came flooding back.

"How could I ever wish for anything more…" She stared at him, her heart rate increasing to the point of breathlessness. "Dancing with my husband in the moonlight at Christmas. That is all I want to do…"

Daniel had never looked so handsome and more desirable. She pressed one hand to her chest.

"My dear…" He extended one gloved hand towards her. "May I say how beautiful you look tonight?" He curled his fingers into a beckoning motion. "I doubt I have ever seen you looking lovelier."

"I know it's the middle of the day…" Carolyn reasoned as she walked slowly toward him. "I really should be up in our room, working and waiting for you to return. You were expecting an answer to the question about my parents and I now know that I cannot—"

She stopped speaking, knowing her rational words of reason had no place here. Close enough to see the beguiling look in her husband's blue eyes, she smiled as she opened and raised her fan to conceal the lower part of her face.

Daniel put one gloved finger to the top of her fan and pushed it down, slowly. "There is no need to dissemble, my love. You forget how well we already know each other."

"Yes..." Carolyn shivered. She frowned, looking around them. "Is this your doing? It's just like that Christmas dream you gave us all last year."

"I am here solely at your own loving wish, my love." Daniel extended his arms wide. "And are we truly dreaming, Carolyn?"

She sighed. Hearing her name on his lips always did that to her. She could never tire of hearing him say it. She tipped her head back to look up at him.

She smiled shakily. "I have never, in my life, felt so weightless…" She shook her head. "And I don't even feel tired anymore…" She pressed her fingers to her temple. "My headache is gone..."

"Were you unwell, my love?" Daniel's forehead creased with quick concern. "Why didn't you tell me? Should we go inside and I will summon a physician?"

"I was feeling overwrought," Carolyn freely admitted on a sigh. "But, no, thank you. It was just a headache from too much thinking about what to do for the best. It doesn't matter now. I have never felt better."

She knew what she wanted to do about her parents visiting Gull Cottage for Christmas. She was aware he would want to argue with her hard-won decision and try to change her mind.

She didn't want him to go away. But how could she make him stay?

"Then you stand in no need of some more of my Willow Bark Golden Elixir?" Daniel smiled teasingly, watching her closely when she sighed again.

"Most decidedly, no." Carolyn shook her head, making her ostrich plumes dance. "Well or unwell, I doubt I could ever stomach another dose of that. Especially since Jonathan told me what you put in it. Put a keel under me, indeed."

"A pity." Her husband laughed gently. "It is guaranteed to cure."

All around them the music swelled and drifted. The lanterns flickered, shedding pools of soft, coloured light. The Christmas decorations rustled and their tiny silver bells tinkled. It seemed as if the whole world was waiting in some kind of anticipation.

"Would you care to dance a Christmas waltz with me, my beautiful Carolyn?" Daniel bowed formally, extending one hand to her. "We only have until I return with the children and you awaken."

"I thought you'd never ask…" Carolyn whispered as she dropped her fan to hang by its strap around her gloved wrist.

She placed her hand in his, and as before, he raised it to his lips. But instead of kissing the back of her gloved fingers, he turned her hand over to press his lips to the erratic pulse beating within her inner wrist. Carolyn watched the courtly gesture with a snatched breath, totally fascinated as she fell in love with her handsome, otherworldly husband all over again.

Keeping her hand, Daniel drew her closer to him. With the dance floor to themselves, they began to waltz freely, sweeping around and around, as the music continued to play, slipping seamlessly from one tune to another. It seemed as if time itself, had been suspended, and this one night could last forever…

"You do waltz so beautifully," she told him, gazing up into his eyes. "But I've already told you that."

"That fact I have always known…" Daniel smiled down at her, his gaze centring on her softly parted lips. "I am at my very best with such a lovely partner."

"Of course, you are." Carolyn nodded, returning his smiling regard. "You know everything…" She wanted nothing more than to be swept up into his arms and held closer, much closer than their formal dancing style allowed.

Finally, the music sank into breathless silence. There was only the sound of the waves breaking on the shore below the house and their shared breathing.

They were standing close to one another, in the centre of the floor. Without looking up, Carolyn knew there was a large sprig of mistletoe hanging above their heads.

"That was... wonderful..." She dropped her eyes to study the gleaming brass buttons of his naval jacket. She had to admit, they were very handsome buttons. "Thank you... I know I will always remember this dance..."

"You are most welcome," Daniel replied softly. "As will I."

"I would love to come here again," Carolyn whispered to his buttons. "With you…"

"Yes..." Daniel acknowledged, with a wistful smile. "I like that there is no one here, but us, for our first Christmas…"

As he gazed down at her, the flickering paper lanterns slowly began to blink out, one by one, until the moonlight gifted the only illumination. As before Daniel's hand slipped from hers to rest on her shoulder.

Carolyn inhaled an expectant breath, once again remembering that far-off moment when they'd almost kissed, before a sudden moan from Mrs Colburn, and the resultant screams of fainting women, had broken them apart and woken her from her dream. But, this time, there was no other sound…

"Carolyn…" Daniel said, softly. "Carolyn, look at me… please..." His other hand also settled on her waist, drawing her closer still.

"Yes… Daniel…" Carolyn hesitated for one more heartbeat, before she took each set of gleaming buttons in turn, all the way up to his beautiful eyes.

She wanted to say they could stay this way, forever. It all seemed so right and wonderful.

"I wish—" she began to say.

"No. No more wishes…" Daniel replied, so softly she almost didn't catch his words. "Everything we have ever desired has already come true. We cannot ask for more. It would not be possible…"

"I thought that today. But I so wish my parents could meet you and understand what we have, together. Surely we can make that happen if only we could figure out a way."

"It will always be an impossible dream and you know it…" Daniel placed a silencing finger against her parted lips. "All too soon, you must wake up, and life will go back to how it always has. We are together now and that is all that matters."

"Yes… I know." Carolyn shook her head slightly. "But, l wish we could be together at Christmas as well..."

Daniel didn't answer. There was nothing more to say. He lowered his lips to capture hers.

With his arms around her slender waist, he drew her up onto her slippered toes, almost entirely off her feet as he deepened their shared kiss. The whole world tilted and fell away. Carolyn clung to the wide strong set of his shoulders.

One of her hands moved slowly upwards, curling around the back of his neck, drawing him closer still. This time she wanted so much more than kisses and soft words. She could hear her own heart beating with his, in perfect unison.

Curled in her bed, resting on her side with her warm cheek nestled into her pillow, Carolyn smiled and sighed. Within her heart, and inside her sweet dream, she knew, there was no other place she would rather be than right there, held secure in the strong arms of her beloved.

Truly she could not ask for anything more. Because, surely, there could be no more than what they already had…

"Daniel, you are my heart and my soul…" she whispered. "For always…"

※※※※※

A week later Carolyn was sitting on the couch in the living room, leaning forward to warm her hands by the fire. The day had started out chill and it had not warmed up as the morning advanced. Outside, light snow was falling.

Daniel sat leaning back in the armchair opposite, watching her with frowning concern. They'd brought the typewriter and their work downstairs to sit next to the fire. In the corner by the window, their newly-decorated Christmas tree stood filling the air with a sweet pine fragrance.

"I see you've taken up smoking again…" Carolyn glanced at the cigar in his hand.

"It helps me to think. And there's a lot to think about," Daniel excused himself with a shrug. "I do wish you would agree that my going away is the only answer. You look drawn and I know you have not been sleeping well. I fear the return of the ague."

"No, it isn't that. I promised I would telephone my parents today and make my excuses," Carolyn replied. "This year is not convenient, after all. We still have a lot of work to do if we are to publish in January."

"Blast the work!" her husband stated firmly. "I do not like to see you so pulled about and wan-looking for worrying over me. I will survive. It's Elroy Applegate you'll need to feel sorry for. He will be dancing to my tune soon enough."

"Wan-looking?" His wife raised her brows at his old-fashioned description. "How quaint. We should use that word in our latest manuscript."

"Well, it's the truth," Daniel shot back, getting to his feet. "Deny it all you wish, but I am going away to Spirit Island today and that is the end of the matter. You will telephone your parents and invite them to stay. They can be here by the morning. And that is my final word on the subject."

"But I don't want you to go. You know I don't want that." Carolyn sighed, fast losing the battle to deny him his practical solution.

"Your lovely dream of our dancing together on our first Christmas must remain just that," Daniel replied softly. "Simply a wonderful dream…"

He shook his head at the sweet memory of their kiss beneath the mistletoe. "And we may go back there any time we wish."

"But I want the reality, this time, not just the dream…" Carolyn spread her hands, feeling pulled in many directions at once.

Martha pushed open the doors and entered the room, carrying a tray of the coffee pot and two cups. "Ed's just left. He dropped by for a cup of coffee and a slice of my cherry pie," she said, placing the tray on the coffee table. "I've made you two a fresh pot and I—"

Suddenly, there was a loud knocking at the front door. Martha looked up, as she placed the tray on the coffee table. "Now I wonder who that could be…" she mused, turning around and heading back into the front hall. "I'll get it." She closed the doors behind her.

"Whoever it is, don't you dare go anywhere without talking to me first," Carolyn commanded her husband in a fierce whisper. "Promise me?"

"Very well. I promise." Daniel sighed heavily, tossing the stub of his cigar into the fire. "But my mind is made up. It's for the best for everyone. You will see."

Out in the foyer, Martha opened the front door to reveal Bradford and Emily Williams, both carrying suitcases and looking somewhat unsure of their welcome. They stood brushing the snow from the shoulders of their winter coats.

"Hello, Martha," Emily said. "It's lovely to see you again."

"Why, Mr and Mrs Williams. Well, hello. It's nice to see you both again too," Martha replied in a raised voice. "And so soon…"

She paused, listening to the sudden sounds of consternation coming from the living room. A muttered 'Blast!' from the Captain as they both scrambled to hide their work from prying eyes and make it look as if nothing out of the ordinary had been going on in there.

Martha smiled. "You're both looking well."

"Well, we're not deaf, Martha. Not yet, anyway." Bradford frowned at the housekeeper.

"Of course, you're not," Martha replied jovially standing aside. "Please, do come on in out of the cold. The children will be so thrilled to see you both. They're playing games up in their room."

"We weren't entirely sure we'd be welcomed back," Emily countered as the couple entered the house. "We had the feeling that the name Williams is not wanted here in Gull Cottage. We waited for an invitation after Harriet's visit, but we've heard nothing." She took her time pulling off her gloves and arranging them neatly in her handbag.

"Oh, pish tosh," Martha assured them heartily. "Harriet did cause a bit of an upset, but that's all water under the bridge. We've forgotten all about her."

She leaned forward to look behind the pair. "As long as you haven't brought her with you."

"No, as far as we know she's staying with Hazel for the holidays," Bradford explained. "So, finding ourselves at a loose end, we thought we would surprise our daughter. After all, it is the season of goodwill and we're keen to see our grandchildren again. A phone call now and then is not the same, as you well know."

"Well, we've all been a bit busy, that's all. I was saying just yesterday, where has the time gone?" Martha replied brightly, as she shut the door behind them. "But this is such a happy coincidence. Why, Mrs Muir mentioned only this morning that she must telephone you and invite you both to Gull Cottage for Christmas. And here you are." Of course, she did not say their loving daughter was thinking of inviting them for the following Christmas.

"She was?" Bradford looked back with raised eyebrows. "Then I'm glad we decided to come."

"Of course," Martha said stoutly. "You are family, after all."

"Mother!" Carolyn opened the doors of the living room and hurried into the foyer. "How lovely to see you again! I… wasn't expecting you."

"I wasn't sure we were welcome here," Emily replied, accepting her daughter's welcome hug. "You were out the last time I telephoned and you didn't call me back."

"Oh, now, who on earth gave you such a silly idea that you're not welcome here?" Carolyn turned to her father, embracing him fondly. "I simply took a couple of days away to clear my head. I've been very busy."

"Harriet told us how hard you work," Bradford replied thoughtfully. "She phoned after her visit to say there were some very funny things going on in this house and she never felt entirely welcome. Something about an unseen presence here that always made her feel uneasy. And she heard you often, talking to yourself in empty rooms."

"Oh, but you know how much Cousin Harriet loves to exaggerate." Carolyn smiled. "If she can't sniff out a problem, she'll create one. I'm a writer. I talk to myself all the time. I like to get the flavour of the piece. It's nothing for you to worry about. It's just an old habit."

"That's as may be," her mother replied. "But you never did it when you lived with us. And you know Harriet only wants the best for you. She was worried about you. She did say she met your most charming and divine Captain Gregg here one night at dinner."

Emily shook her head. "He did not sound at all like the Captain Gregg we meet the last time we were here. The one you were supposed to be marrying." She cast a quick frown at her daughter's replacement wedding ring.

"Well, he was the same man, I can assure you of that," Carolyn said with false brightness. "Martha can see to your bags. Why don't you come on into the living room and have a nice hot cup of coffee? Warm yourselves by the fire."

"That sounds wonderful," her father replied. "But I'll take the bags upstairs. You two go and get cosy by the fire. I know you'll want to talk about women's things which do not involve us men. I'll drop in and hug the children."

"Yes, in a moment, dear," Emily patted her daughter's forearm. "We shall go and freshen up first. Then we can have some coffee and chat about the Captain and your plans. Harriet was sure he would be back from the sea now the winter has set in. We're so looking forward to meeting him again. Meeting him properly."

She frowned at her daughter. "That was the other reason for our visit. We felt sure we'd see him again because you'd be inviting him for the Christmas meal. Harriet did say things seemed very serious between you two. I heard all about those flowers and that endearing love note he wrote to you."

She paused, seeming to think. "I tell you what. Why don't you telephone him now and see if he would like to come to dinner tonight, as well? I mean, you know we don't stand on ceremony."

"Blast!" Daniel exclaimed from the living room. "Tell her it's impossible, tonight. I'm laid up in my sick bed! I'm dead! Claymore's run away! Tell them anything!"

"I, why, well, yes, of course. I can try…" Carolyn managed, seeing the trap and skirting it neatly. "That's if he's not too busy with all his sailing things."

She managed a shaky laugh. "You know those sea captains…"

"No, actually, we don't." Her father frowned. "But we would like to. Harriet was so sure he was going to propose to you that night. She said he couldn't keep his hands off you. She did say she felt rather embarrassed by his fawning all over you at dinner."

"Oh, Dad…" Carolyn shook her head. "Harriet was exaggerating again. She always did. The Captain was the perfect gentleman that night over dinner. He always is. He does send me flowers now and then. And a note or two. But we are trying to keep it low-key. We're not rushing into anything."

She crossed her fingers behind her back. "And he didn't stay long enough that night to propose to anyone. He had better things to be getting on with as soon as he left."

"He did?" Emily shook her head. "That's no way to conduct a serious courtship, I must say."

"What sort of things is he getting on with?" her father demanded to know.

"Oh, I don't know. Just things…" Carolyn replied helplessly.

Her parents considered her doubtfully, disbelief writ large across their faces.

"Well, you two go on up and I'll make you all a fresh pot of coffee…" Martha quickly inserted into the uncomfortable silence before she bustled away into the living room to fetch the tray.

"Broadsided and scuppered, all in one," Daniel complained from his belligerent stance in front of the fire. "I shall make myself scarce before I am discovered."

"It could be worse…" Martha muttered, keeping her back to the foyer as she bent to pick up the tray. "It could have been Cousin Harriet back to finish what she started. Then we would have been in a right pickle. I doubt you'll have enough time to browbeat Claymore into being you, again. He almost passed out last time."

"That interfering snoop of a woman had better think twice about trying to board us again! I will not stand for it! These two are bad enough!"

"So, we just have to make the best of it and ensure the Williams' visit is swift and uneventful. The world had to intrude again at some point and the children will be so happy to see them."

"I'm aware of that…" Daniel passed a frustrated hand over his bearded chin. "I know I cannot keep them apart and nor do I wish for that. I guess we have been spoiled by having these last few months to ourselves without someone poking their noses into our business."

"That's the ticket. Be grateful Claymore is your only relative," Martha advised wisely as she straightened holding the tray. "We just have to clear the decks for action, maintain our present course, set our sails accordingly and pray for fair weather ahead."

"I say, Martha…" Daniel looked her over with approval. "We might just make a sea woman out of you yet."

"No, thanks." Martha grinned. "I'm far too fond of having dry land under my feet."

She fixed him with a stern eye. "But now that the Williams' are here, you will not just up and disappear without a word to your wife. She would not take it very well. She needs your support now, more than ever. Her parents are asking for more than she can give them."

"Yes, I am deeply aware of that fact…" Daniel nodded. "As soon as I can get her alone, I shall say my farewells and depart. Applegate is expecting me."

"I'm sure it won't be forever. Just a few days. You'll see…" Martha shook her head as she quickly left the room.

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