Thoughts on female custodians
I'm a bit late to the party but in the not too distant past the Games Workshop announced that some custodians had vaginas and had always had vaginas, and it seems to have caused a bit of neuralgia in some segments of the fan base.
My own musings on the topic:
The older I get the more convinced I become that the "40 thousand" in Warhammer 40k refers not to the year but to how many times GW has retconned it. The Games Workshop are the complete god emperors of retconning and changing shit in ways that would make George Lucas blush, they do this sort of thing all the time and they will do it again in the future, changing the lore to suit the share dividend raising schemes of whatever corporate dipshit is given the power at a given moment. It's what they do, it's what they have been doing for decades now.
Every year a new line of models to sell, every year some new product to buy and consume, to feed on your hard earned money at grotesquely inflated prices. Here buy Primaris, here buy space marines with slightly different drip, here are some new codexes every five seconds that you have to buy, just endless shit pushed on the fan base to milk every last dollar, and millions and millions of people keep eating up every new thing they are sold, gentle as lambs, forking over obscene amounts of money to buy more plastic to paint as Games Workshop shareholders laugh all the way to the bank.
The constant changes are a fleece and always have been, retcon here and there to sell yet another new thing that you will pay a fortune for and never paint. They have taken what was meant to be a fun game with friends and turned it into a way to fleece you for as much money as they can get you to pay them to buy their latest retconned product.
The galaxy in 40k is meant to be a stagnant place where there has been no progress in ten thousand years, just a slow decay as knowledge of technology is lost and the variety of weapons and equipment gets less not more… But this didn't let them constantly sell new models, it hurt sales so they started retconning the ever living crap out of the setting to allow for constant new stuff to buy. Shareholder profits trump fidelity to lore.
And now after the 40 thousandth retcon they have said that Custodians have some female members and I barely even registered it, I'm numb from all the old retcons and I feel nothing anymore when they do.
But I was mildly, (well I'd like to say "surprised" but nobody's surprised), mildly what's the word, mildly amused I guess by the way some other people in the fan base reacted to the latest retcon bullet amongst the storm of other retcon shrapnel that Games Workshop machine guns out relentlessly.
With the calm mature flexibility of a bus load of severely autistic children facing change, combined with all the social grace of a screaming toddler in a supermarket when mummy says they can't buy a chocolate sweet, certain hairy necked members of the 40 Retcon fandom let their views be known across the internet. Games Workshop retcons are all fine and good until you try to say that a member of the Emperor's man harem has a vagina, oh the outrage!
What ever happened to all those alpha males saying "no girl space marines cause lore says so"?, Where did you go gigachads?, The Games Workshop has now made girl Custodians officially canon and all the scruples about being canon hawks disappears?
What's the matter with you, grown man, that you hide in your pillow fort crying and holding up a sign reading "no girls allowed" in vain as GIRLS brazenly enter your little safe space as you wail in impotent rage?, Oh my god the horror!, You poor little crying snowflake, do you need counselling and a cuddle to get over this terrible thing that has happened to you?
For goodness sakes man grow up and get over it, are you a man or a child?
If you don't want your soulless plastic miniatures to be girls then don't buy the grotesquely overpriced boob armour custodian miniatures that we all know are coming, buy your pure sausage fest plastic custodians with pride and play with your toys, (perhaps paint them while you are at it). Maybe other people want to get a second mortgage to pay for their new army of girl Custodians, now they can and they can field them without lore hawks berating them for having fun the wrong way.
The time to get pissed off with Games Workshop retcon abuse was literally any time in the last twenty years, they do it fucking constantly. To get pissed off in this singular incident just makes you look like a child who cries and wets the bed if a girl goes in his "boys only" cubby house.