Elizabeth had been eagerly expecting to see Mr. Wickham at the Netherfield ball but when Lydia greeted Mr. Denny he told them that Mr. Wickham was not present.
"I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now, if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here."
"Which gentleman do you mean?" Lydia asked.
Mr. Denny explained that Mr. Wickham had thought that unpleasant scenes might arise if he was to meet Mr. Darcy who had refused to give him a living he had been bequeathed.
"Why? Why should Mr. Wickham stay away?" Lydia was feeling ill used because Mr. Wickham had promised to dance with her and to help make sure she had other partners. "Why would he need to avoid Mr. Darcy? If Mr. Darcy cheated him then Wickham is the injured party. Can you not tell Mr. Darcy to go away instead?"
"That might not be so practical," Mr. Denny said. "Mr. Darcy is the friend of our host, after all."
"But you are the officers, you have your swords. By all rights, Mr. Darcy should have been afraid of facing Mr. Wickham, and not the other way around."
"Oh, we would not wish a sword fight to ruin a pleasant party, would we?" Mr. Pratt said glibly. "Bloodshed is bad for the complexion and Miss Bingley might take it amiss if we made a mess."
"You could just all put your hands on your hilts, march to Mr. Darcy, and demand he give Mr. Wickham his living."
"Whoa there, Miss Lydia," Captain Carter said. "I do not suppose that we ought to meddle in affairs that we can know no details about."
"Some friends you are," Lydia said.
"I like to think that I have a number of great friends but I do not believe that I have any who would fight duels for me when I am not even there," said Mr. Chamberlayne.
"If Wickham wanted somebody to confront Mr. Darcy he should have been here to do it himself," said Mr. Pratt.
"Ten to one it is all a hum anyway," said Mr. Chamberlayne. "Bound to be some misunderstanding. What kind of a fool would put Wickham in charge of his parish? Can you just imagine him as a clergyman? Why, the other day, when the chaplain said..."
"Chamberlayne!" Captain Carter interrupted sharply.
"What did he say?" Lydia asked.
"I would beg you to forget it," Mr. Chamberlayne said.
"Why?" Lydia asked.
"I thought better of it and I suppose I had better not tell this story with young ladies present."
"But why can you not imagine Mr. Wickham as a clergyman?" Elizabeth inquired.
"Well, there are certain expectations that people have of clergymen, you know."
"And...?"
"Let us say that some people fulfill them differently."
This was a bit too cryptic for Elizabeth but she filed it for further consideration.
Lydia was rather disappointed in the cowardice of Mr. Wickham's fellow officers who would not agree to use threats of bodily harm against Mr. Darcy, no matter how much she entreated them. But she was somewhat placated when Mr. Denny asked her for the first set.
"I am sure you will be too busy dancing all evening to notice Mr. Wickham's desertion," he said gallantly. "I had better secure my turn while I have the chance."
"Your servant, Miss Lydia," said Mr. Pratt. "Miss Elizabeth."
Elizabeth was happy that a sword fight was averted but regardless, she was hard pressed to be civil at Mr. Darcy when he approached soon thereafter to make polite inquiries.
"You owe me a dance, Mr. Darcy," Lydia said petulantly. "Mr. Wickham had promised to dance two sets with me but you drove him away."
"Oh, that is amazing. Mr. Wickham made promises that he failed to keep?" Mr. Darcy said. "Who could have thought?"
"I am sure you would find Darcy an adequate substitute," said Mr. Bingley cheerfully. "He is a fine dancer."
"But he has very little pity for those of us who have been slighted by other gentlemen," said Elizabeth.
Mr. Darcy appeared a little startled. "Oh, you heard that? Please do not hold my churlish remarks at the assembly against me," he said. "I hope to be able to rectify my error eventually."
"Darcy is a wonderful friend to have, but he is never at his best in new company," Mr. Bingley said. "He is rather ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers."
"And to acquaintances," said Lydia. "Some say that you stole their inheritance."
"Indeed," Mr. Darcy said blankly. "I try to do that at least three times before breakfast every day. I do so love the exercise."
Nobody was sure how to react so the conversation stalled until he went away again.
"Oh, the high and mighty Mr. Darcy spoke to you?" said Mrs. Bennet. "He must be in his cups already."
"Hush, everyone, please be polite to Mr. Darcy," Jane begged.
"I am always polite," said Mrs. Bennet indignantly.
"We will be as polite as he deserves," said Elizabeth.
"I believe he is not very easy in most company but not everyone can be you, Lizzy. But he is Mr. Bingley's best friend and if my family quarrels with him it could not recommend me to Mr. Bingley."
"Very well," said Elizabeth. "I dare say Mr. Darcy and I can ignore each other all evening in perfect courtesy. If he props up the walls of the ballroom it saves others the trouble and I promise to think kindly of him for his service."
"And what if he asks you to dance?"
Elizabeth scoffed. "He would never stoop so low."
"He has done it before," Jane said.
"What? Mr. Darcy wanted to dance with Lizzy?" Mrs. Bennet asked.
"He has asked her twice now, that I know of," said Jane. "And it sounded like he will again, tonight."
"But I thought she was not handsome enough to tempt him," Mrs. Bennet said.
"Be that how it may he certainly spent a lot of time looking at her at Netherfield."
"Well, that is very interesting indeed," said Mrs. Bennet. "Mr. Darcy! Who would have thought? And you think that he has his eye on our Lizzy?"
"Pray speak nothing of it," said Elizabeth quickly. "It would not do to start any idle rumours. How embarrassing it would be if it came to nothing! Mr. Darcy has said nothing about having his eye on me and I am sure he never will. I have heard that he is to marry his cousin who is an heiress."
"He has ten thousand per annum," announced Mrs. Bennet. "What would he need an heiress for?"
"For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance," said Mary.
"Thank you, Mary," Jane said. "I am not suggesting that he will court Lizzy, all I am saying is that I like Mr. Bingley and he has the highest respect of Mr. Darcy's opinions. Please do not offend Mr. Darcy by being rude."
"Did you hear, Lizzy? He has ten thousand," Mrs. Bennet said.
"Or that," Jane whispered furiously. "Please do not offend Mr. Darcy by gossiping about his income. It would be the fastest way to send him running."
"Why, he knows what his income is," Mrs. Bennet said. "It could not come as a shock to him."
"Yes but Miss Bingley has forever set her cap for him and his ten thousand, and nothing annoys him more than to be courted for his riches," Jane said. "You must say nothing that implies that we know or care what anyone's property amounts to."
"If he thinks that we are fortune hunters he will pack Mr. Bingley in his pocket and be gone in the morning," Elizabeth said.
"That is my point," Jane said. She lowered her voice as there were more people gathering in the hearing range. "Everyone be on their best behaviour. That means no shrieking, and stay away from the strong punch. No snide remarks at any of our hosts, no gossiping about any uncertain affairs, no crowing about what a great catch anyone would be, no talk of any engagements that have yet to take place. Do not even mention your hopes, mama!"
"Oh, but Lady Lucas is here..." Mrs. Bennet said. "I was hoping to talk to her about Mr. Bingley, and Mr. Collins, and..."
"You are allowed to smile cryptically and say that whatever will be will be for the best, you hope," Jane said. "Nothing more out loud. The gossips see the same things you do, and if anything happens there is time enough to boast after things are settled."
"If there is to be an eventual announcement it would be less dramatic if you had given them a lot of hints beforehand," Elizabeth said.
"Very well," said Mrs. Bennet. "Not a word will be said. But Mr. Darcy would be a splendid match, and if he should ask you to dance I give you leave to like him. Mary, what do you think of Mr. Collins?"
Mrs. Bennet wandered off with Mary and Kitty.
"What on earth are you doing?" Elizabeth said in a furious whisper. "What was all that nonsense you told our mother about Mr. Darcy?"
"I do not want to be embarrassed by the gossip, and I thought she might make more of an effort to restrain herself if she cares about what Mr. Darcy thinks," Jane said. "And she might not force you to marry our cousin if she thinks there are bigger fish in the sea. You can thank me later."
"Mamma will be insufferable if she thinks Mr. Darcy had some interest in me and I drove him away."
"So do not drive him away," Jane said flippantly.
"Jane!"
"Just try to avoid sniping at him, please. And Lydia, promise me you will not drink too much. You might feel like you are having fun but everyone else will think that a drunk and rowdy child is too young to be out."
Elizabeth and Lydia promised to behave. Jane went to speak with Mrs. Hurst but the others had no wish to bother that lady and chose to greet Charlotte Lucas instead.
"I was looking forward to dancing with Mr. Wickham," Lydia said. "And so was Lizzy. But he is not here."
Charlotte was inclined to take a practical view.
"I applaud of his efficiency," she said. "If he was bound to disappoint you sooner or later it was very considerate for him to do it straight away. I dare say Mr. Wickham saved you both a lot of time."
"Jane wants us to be nice to the dour Mr. Darcy," Lydia said.
"It would not hurt you to remember his consequence," Charlotte said.
"And Mr. Pratt declared that there is to be no bloodshed," Lydia said.
"You never know," Elizabeth said. "I am promised to dance the first with Mr. Collins."
He soon arrived to greet them and Elizabeth was able to introduce him to Charlotte's notice.
"I am very honoured to make your acquaintance as I am certain that all my dear cousin Elizabeth's friends must be wonderful people. I am perfectly conscious of the privilege that I have been afforded by being able to meet so many of the connections of the Bennet family at the same time. But perhaps I should assure you that my bishop in no way disapproves of a clergyman taking part in an entertainment such as this. Dancing at a private ball hosted by respectable neighbours would be unobjectionable in his eyes, provided that excessive merriment is held in check. Given the inducement of my beautiful partner's hand for the first set, the reputability of my association with the family and the perfect propriety of all of my intentions there can be no remonstration for spending the evening in this manner, in this society."
"I am happy that you find us to be acceptable company," Charlotte said.
"The Bingleys are not well known to me but given the quality of their house, the attention to detail evident in all of the arrangements, the appropriate degree of politeness in their behaviour while greeting the guests, and the enthusiastic welcome they have been given by their new neighbours I cannot imagine that even my esteemed patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, would find anything to object to in these proceedings."
"Does Lady Catherine de Bourgh often find something to object to?" Charlotte asked.
"Object to? She is not contrary, but she is certainly adept at finding things that could be improved. She is very mindful of all the proprieties and likes the distinction of rank preserved, whenever feasible, but if there is anyone who could benefit from her condescension she spares no effort in bringing the problems to their attention."
"That is very good of her," Charlotte said.
"Previously I have not often had the occasion to take part in such an evening's entertainment, having not had the luxury of time, or the inclination to spend precious resources in frivolity, but now that I have been privileged enough to receive an invitation I am reassured knowing that one of her authority considers dancing to be a perfectly acceptable mode of courtship."
"It is a relief to hear," Charlotte said.
"I do not claim that she thinks one should marry everyone one dances with, for that would obviously be impractical and in many cases illegal, should one choose to engage in the activity with several different individuals. Myself, I have endeavoured to procure a dance with each of my fair cousins, and afterwards, perhaps I could be honoured with the honour of your graceful hand for a set as well, Miss Lucas, for the friends of my cousins are my friends too."
This invitation was graciously accepted and Mr. Collins explained further. "Lady Catherine says that dancing is a metaphor for marriage. In a ballroom full of people, you choose one partner and commit to that person for the duration of the set."
"Except for those dances in which one circulates through the room switching partners at every turn," Elizabeth said.
"That part of the analogy might not work perfectly," Mr. Collins admitted. "But Lady Catherine likes courtships to be governed by rules and expectations, like a country dance. Being performed in the full view of others and consisting of predetermined forms and figures, all the proprieties are observed but the exercise gives courting couples the opportunity to practice reading each other's cues and to anticipate each other's movements, and to test their compatibility in the synchronicity of their rhythmic cooperation. This is highly symbolic of the institution of holy matrimony in which the husband is supposed to lead his wife in the great dance of life, and the wife anticipates his needs as befits the role of a helpmeet while they are negotiating a swarm of other dancers, also known as the society."
"Lady Catherine must be one of the greatest philosophers of our time," Elizabeth said.
"Oh! I am sure she would be flattered to hear you say so, but rhetorics and sophistries are not the substance of her ambition – instead she desires to be excessively attentive to all the proper forms of behaviour. For instance, in the context of the dance it is permissible to take your partner's hand for short periods of time, and holding eye contact is acceptable as long as it does not last long enough to be construed as staring. There are certain expectations of decorum that a parson should adhere to, or indeed any person who wishes for her ladyship's approbation, and it would not do to attract undue attention by exhibiting a scandalously obvious preference at one's partner."
"I am certain that you could never court a scandal by prolonging eye contact in an indecent manner," said Charlotte kindly. "Your spotless reputation as well as the respectability of all your chosen partners surely must protect you from such senseless speculation and scurrilous gossip."
"Indeed, that is my dearest hope, but I am very grateful for Lady Catherine for her kind instruction, for having grown up in a household without a profound feminine touch her points of view are always enlightening to me, and a lady of certain years has gained some wisdom in these matters that a gentleman such as my excellent father could not impart upon me."
"She certainly seems to be a lady of many decided opinions," Elizabeth said.
"I hope one day to have the felicity of introducing you to her ladyship's attention, for although there can be nothing wanting in yourself you would no doubt be gratified to receive the gracious condescension of her advice. She is always so affable and not at all unwilling to consider all aspects of a person's life that are open for improvement, no matter how insignificant others might deem the matter."
"I am afraid that Lady Catherine would see me as quite unsatisfactory," Elizabeth said.
Mr. Collins demurred verbosely and was only interrupted by the music, as the first set started and the couples took their places. Elizabeth could find little enjoyment in the exercise. Mr. Collins was awkward. solemn and his shoes were not best suited for dancing. He moved wrong without being aware of it, and apologized profusely if he noticed it. Often he took his cues from watching what the other gentlemen were doing, which made him a second or two too late and caused Elizabeth to lose her steps. Collisions with other couples were very narrowly avoided no less than three times during the first set, and Elizabeth was rather mortified by the exhibition.
But Mr. Collins thanked her sincerely. "I could not have had a more agreeable partner for the first dance."
"I am only sorry that to have failed Lady Catherine's synchronicity test," Elizabeth said.
"You think you failed?"
"I certainly did not have the ability to seamlessly anticipate your movements in the way your patroness would prefer." She shook her head sadly. "Highly symbolically, in the course of a country dance."
"It was not that bad, was it?"
"I am sure her ladyship would never countenance nearly crashing with another couple for accidents would spoil the perfect symmetry of the formation and attract undue notice," she said gravely. "I could not expect her ladyship's stamp of approval for this performance. She would certainly dance much better herself."
"I have never been lucky enough to witness her ladyship performing a dance herself, and unfortunately her daughter, Miss de Bourgh, is of indifferent health. But she has told me that her daughter would be an excellent dancer if she ever learned."
"It seems that you have a lot in common," Elizabeth said.
"Oh! Indeed not! Quite above my horizon! The main thing we have in common is our profound respect for her ladyship." Mr. Collins told her of Miss de Bourgh's taciturn peacefulness, of her companion's steadfast devotion, of the footpaths around Rosings, and a dozen other things Elizabeth had little interest in, before Mr. Chamberlayne came to collect Elizabeth for the second set.
They spoke of the dance, and the number of couples, and he complimented her hairstyle, which was very becoming, until the conversation returned to the dashing of Mr. Wickham's career aspirations.
Mr. Chamberlayne was very sorry and he had meant to cast no aspersions at Mr. Wickham's character. "Truly, he seems like a jolly good fellow," he said. "Everyone likes him at the regiment. I just never thought that he had the temperament for the church."
"The temperament?"
"He is very keen on all the entertainment, always the life and soul of the party. Just not the person you would imagine presiding over your funeral."
"The life and soul of the funeral," Elizabeth said.
"The office calls for a certain solemnity," Mr. Chamberlayne said. "And Wickham does not seem to care two straws for that sort of thing."
"I suppose the church has employed people of very different personalities before," Elizabeth said. "My cousin, for instance, found his calling in the clergy."
"Mr. Collins? Yes, he is certainly quite different from Mr. Wickham, from what little I have seen of him."
"He loves nothing better than a long, rambling sermon on a variety of topics from a trusted authority."
"Wickham would be bored to death," Mr. Chamberlayne said. "His parishioners would get no theological debates on a Sunday morning. They would hear the shortest sermons known to mankind and get to eat their luncheon early."
"The hungry ones might appreciate it," Elizabeth said. "There is something to be said for concise messages."
"Dearly beloved, I told you last week to pray and to be good to one another. These instructions are still valid. I will update this section if anything gets changed. Read the Romans, chapter and verse. Thank you for tithing. Have a nice day and a safe ride home."
Elizabeth laughed.
"A lovely job if you can get it," Mr. Chamberlayne said. "Maybe Mr. Darcy would consider me instead."
"I wish you the best of luck," Elizabeth said.
"I even go to church when I can manage it," said Mr. Chamberlayne. "Wickham tends to be indisposed."
After the set concluded, Elizabeth returned to Charlotte.
"Mr. Chamberlayne seems rather sceptical of Mr. Wickham's ecclesiastical career dreams," she said.
"It might be that he likes being the victim of a dastardly plot a good sight better than he would like visiting the poor parishioners," Charlotte said.
"Have you ever seen him at church on Sundays?"
"I cannot say that I have," Charlotte said. "But Mr. Darcy is there every time."
"So Mr. Wickham might be avoiding him."
"Maybe Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham are the same person in disguise," Charlotte said. "Has anybody ever seen them in the same place, at the same time?"
"Once, on the street in Meryton," Elizabeth said. "They almost met, and it stretched the fabric of time and caused them both tremendous pain. But Mr. Darcy left, so the universe was able to prevent the collapse."
"Hooray, we were saved," said Charlotte dryly.
Charlotte was of the firm opinion that the living that Mr. Darcy had in his bestowal was not the only parish in all of England.
"There are plenty of curacies," Charlotte said. "If Mr. Wickham's calling was to shepherd people to the heavenly kingdom he could have worked in any number of parishes while looking for a more permanent situation. Your cousin was able to find a living without reference to the good will of a deceased benefactor, and I am sure that an eloquent, well favoured, easily liked man like Mr. Wickham might as well."
"My cousin is certainly evidence that it could not be as difficult as one might think."
"How was your dance with him?"
"Mr. Collins must be a character in a story," Elizabeth said. "I am undecided whether it is a comedy or tragedy, but he could not possibly be a real person."
"Be kind," Charlotte said. "He all but confessed that this is the first ball that he has ever been in, and he is very eager for approbation."
"Rather too eager, I think," Elizabeth said. "His patroness sounds like an officious busybody and he can hardly breathe for being so eager to repeat everything she says."
"I think she has become the scolding mother that he never had."
"Oh! After he asked me for the first set my scolding mother was certain that we are headed for the altar. She might be unbearable if I turned down a proposal. I would be very obliged if you could convince him that I am a horrid shrew."
"It would be a very good match for you," Charlotte said. "He has an income and he seems kind, well-meaning and honest."
"Is it honesty if he has no cork and all the excess words just flow over the top?"
"All that babbling must be due to his nerves. You could do much worse than to have him."
"If you like him so much you marry him."
"One of these days, I just might," Charlotte said.
Neither of them was engaged for the next set but they were spending the time in agreeable discussion when Elizabeth found herself suddenly addressed by Mr. Darcy. Remembering Jane, she accepted with formal civility.
"If you are in the mood to give consequence to those of us who have been slighted by other men you might also wish to ask my sister Mary. She is a fine dancer even if she practices the art very rarely."
"I hope to survive our set first," he said, smiling, and walked away.
"And now I am to dance with Mr. Darcy," she complained. "What have I done to deserve such a fate?"
"I dare say you will find him very agreeable," Charlotte said.
"Heaven forbid! That would be the greatest misfortune of all! To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! Do not wish me such an evil."
"Do not be a simpleton, Lizzy," Charlotte said. "You should not let your fancy for Mr. Wickham make you appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man who is ten times his consequence."
"I thought Mr. Darcy was rude long before I knew that Mr. Wickham existed."
"Yes, you hold a grudge because he did not ask you to dance at the assembly. But now he has asked you to dance, and you are still unhappy with him. What is the poor man to do? Is he forever damned by his one mistake?"
"I could forgive his refusal to dance with me as I had not asked him to, but he refused very discourteously."
"Has he been rude to you since?"
"Not in the same manner," Elizabeth said. "But he always seems so disdainful, like he could not possibly decide which one of us he despises the most."
"I am sure he does not despise you."
"If not, it is only because he is too busy and important to think of me at all."
"He thinks of you," Charlotte said. "Have you not seen him looking at you?"
"He would look at a ridiculous little monkey at the menagerie," Elizabeth said. "It means nothing."
"Oh yes," Charlotte scoffed. "He looks at you because he is interested in simians. He asked you to dance because he despises you. And when he asks you to marry him it will be only because you are very ugly."
"You are insane. He spent half an hour in the same room with me without saying a word. He is not going to propose."
"He could not work up his nerve."
"Mr. Wickham said he is going to marry his cousin, the famous Lady Catherine's daughter."
"Mr. Wickham says many things but are we to believe everything he says? You have never heard Mr. Darcy's version of events."
"No doubt Mr. Darcy would just see things from his own point of view and justify everything so he seems in the right."
"And Mr. Wickham did not?"
"His story seemed believable to me," Elizabeth said. "He knew all the details, and he had truth in his countenance."
"Did he have truth in his countenance when he told you that he would be at this ball?"
"The thing is, he seemed genuinely upset when he told me about the living."
"He might easily be genuinely upset for losing the income even if Mr. Darcy was entirely justified in refusing to give it to him."
"Perhaps."
"If Mr. Wickham is not trustworthy you might find Mr. Darcy to be a far better man than you think."
"It is not a delicate balance in which I have to like one and dislike one in exactly the same extent." Elizabeth said. "I came by my disapproval of Mr. Darcy honestly, without any reference to Mr. Wickham. If Mr. Wickham loses five points it does not mean that Mr. Darcy therefore gains five. Mr. Wickham could be a complete scoundrel but that would not automatically make Mr. Darcy a good man. No rules of logic would be violated if both of them were scoundrels."
"Your dislike does not make him a scoundrel."
"Good because making scoundrels out of good men is not a skill I aspire to."
"You had decided to hold Mr. Darcy in contempt early on but I really believe that if you gave him a chance he might make a much better further impression. He seems like an honest man, and there may be some question about Mr. Wickham's truthfulness."
"Yes, Mr. Wickham flattered me so he must be a liar, and Mr. Darcy said that I am not handsome so he must be honest!"
Charlotte laughed. "As your friend I am obliged to think you handsome but otherwise I think you have made your point. Mr. Wickham is rather like Mr. Collins. They both have a store of compliments that they think you would like to hear. The difference is that Mr. Wickham is right about what you would like to hear more often than Mr. Collins is."
"What do you mean?"
"Your cousin's compliments are intended to convince you of your beauty and that you are very lucky as the parson's sweet, meek wife you will be well rewarded by the happiness of submitting to the whims of his magnificent patroness."
"Yes, as if I would ever get along with his lady Catherine! A more interfering busybody I have never heard mentioned."
"In Mr. Wickham's case, the compliments to your beauty are merely implied in the attentions and smiles of a handsome man. But you disliked Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham is willing to supply more evidence of his evil nature to so you think that you were so clever and discerning to figure it out all on your own."
"I would far rather think myself clever than the kind of blancmange who would be swept away by her ladyship's grandeur."
"Mr. Collins does not know you very well," Charlotte said. "I do not think he has much experience of women. Mr. Wickham, on the other hand..."
"And Mr. Darcy?"
"At least you know that he is not given to empty flattery so I think if he ever compliments you you might as well believe he means it."
"If the lack of compliments is the strongest point for his honour he is not doing very well, so far."
"Is there any evidence that Mr. Darcy is not an honourable man, beyond Mr. Wickham's tales?"
"Is the injustice of depriving an old friend not enough?"
"If you were cleverer than you think or just a bit more fair-minded you would realize that Mr. Wickham never actually gave you any proof, and you have never asked to hear Mr. Darcy's side of it."
"No doubt he can justify everything perfectly in his own head."
"And what if he could? After all, you have known Mr. Wickham for fifteen minutes and are not aware of his past beyond what he has chosen to share with you. Mr. Darcy has been familiar with his habits all his life and might have valid reasons why Mr. Wickham would not make a good clergyman. The only evidence that there was any injustice is that Mr. Wickham told you so."
"Mr. Darcy has told me nothing at all."
"And why would he? Why would he bring it up? He has no reason to assume you to be at all concerned with any of these particulars that happened a long time ago and have nothing to do with you at all?" Charlotte shook her head. "What motivation could he have to slander an old friend without provocation?"
"What motivation could Mr. Wickham have to slander an old friend?"
"That is the question, is it not?" Charlotte said. "Maybe he is the one with implacable resentment after all."
"This line of thinking will not save us, Charlotte," Elizabeth said. "At the end of this road, there must be at least one dishonourable man."
"I just want you to consider that it might not be Mr. Darcy. He earned your implacable resentment by spurning your charms but if that is the extent of his crimes you might do well to give him a chance to redeem himself."
"And how do I do that?" Elizabeth asked.
"I dare you to be friendly instead of adversarial," Charlotte responded. "Try not bite his head off while you dance."
When the dancing recommenced and Darcy approached to claim her hand, the neighbours seemed rather amazed to behold them. They stood for some time without speaking a word and she began to imagine that their silence was to last through the two dances. At first she was resolved not to break it but it did not seem very friendly so she made some slight observation on the dance. He replied, and was again silent. After a pause of some minutes, she addressed him a second time, with—
"It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you could make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples."
He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said.
"Very obliging of you. Perhaps, by-and-by, I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones; but now we may be silent if you would prefer."
"Do you talk by rule, then, while you are dancing?"
"Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together but for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible."
"Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?"
"Both," replied Elizabeth archly; "for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the éclat of a proverb."
"This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure," said he. "How near it may be to mine, I cannot pretend to say. You think it a faithful portrait, undoubtedly."
"Judging from some long silences that we have shared I must conclude that mutual conversation is not our forte," she said.
"Sometimes it is quite wonderful to spend time together with someone who does not feel the need to fill every moment with empty chatter," he said.
"I can see why you like Mr. Bingley so much," Elizabeth said. "He is so sparing with his words."
"Bingley is a special case, very outgoing," Mr. Darcy said smiling, "but some of my other friends are good at companionable silences."
"Then we are destined to become great friends," said Elizabeth. "Why, I do believe we once sat at Netherfield for half an hour together and never said a word. There can be no two people who have less to say for themselves."
"Does it make you uncomfortable?" he asked.
"Well, yes," she said. "Companionable silences work better among old friends who know each other very well. With strangers, it is easier to attribute all manner of horrid thoughts to them. We are not very familiar and I have no way of knowing what you think unless you tell me."
He made no answer; and they were again silent till they had gone down the dance, when he asked her if she and her sisters did not very often walk to Meryton. She answered in the affirmative; and, unable to resist the temptation, added, "When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance."
The effect was immediate but Mr. Darcy had an expression she could not easily interpret.
"Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may insure his making friends; whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain."
"Is that so?"
"He has several former friends," Mr. Darcy said, and seemed desirous of changing the subject.
At that moment Sir William Lucas appeared close to them, meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room but, on perceiving Mr. Darcy he stopped, with a bow of superior courtesy, to compliment him on his dancing and his partner.
"I have been most highly gratified, indeed, my dear sir; such very superior dancing is not often seen. It is evident that you belong to the first circles. Allow me to say, however, that your fair partner does not disgrace you: and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event, my dear Miss Eliza, shall take place. What congratulations will then flow in!"
"Which desirable event are you talking about?" Mr. Darcy asked.
Sir William glanced at Mr. Bingley and Jane. "Well, your friend..."
"I was not aware of any announcements that have been made," Mr. Darcy said frostily.
"Well, they have not but..." Sir William trailed off.
"Do you not think that you should wait until the concerned participants have decided to publish their news? If we start idle gossip prematurely the subjects might be forced into an arrangement that they do not wish for."
"Oh!" said Sir William, chagrined. "But let me not interrupt you, sir. You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady, whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me."
Sir William wandered off but his allusions seemed to strike Mr. Darcy forcibly, and his eyes were directed, with a very serious expression, towards Bingley and Jane, who were dancing together.
"An arrangement they do not wish for?" Elizabeth said. "Do you think Mr. Bingley means nothing by his attentions to Jane?"
"I think it is a little too soon to start alluding to engagements or whatever Sir William was alluding to."
"Is Mr. Bingley just toying with Jane? Is he a rake with a meaningless flirtation in every village?"
"He has a lot of friends," Mr. Darcy said. "Beyond that I cannot say. I do not know what he thinks of your sister."
"Does he always leave a trail of grieving lovers behind when he leaves?"
"I think there have been a couple of young ladies who took his interest more seriously than he took them," Mr. Darcy said. "It is easy for him to charm people but it is not meant maliciously."
"Oops, I beg your pardon, I was not paying attention and I broke your heart accidentally," Elizabeth said. "So sorry, miss, it just never occurred to me that it would hurt if I stomped all over it."
"Let us hope not," Mr. Darcy said. "Does your sister care for Bingley? She seems so serene and unruffled."
"People here comment on everything. You heard Sir William a moment ago. What do you think the gossips would be like if Jane was more apt to wear her heart on her sleeve?"
"I see," Mr. Darcy said.
The dance required them to do some twirling around the room.
"Sir William's interruption has made me forget what we were talking of," Mr. Darcy said when they had to wait for other couples to twirl.
"We have tried two or three subjects already with varied success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine."
"What think you of books?" said he, smiling.
"Books—oh no!—I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings."
"I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. We may compare our different opinions."
"So you can tell me where I have erred."
"Or you can persuade me to see things your way."
"No—I cannot talk of books in a ball-room; my head is always full of something else."
"The present always occupies you in such scenes—does it?" said he, with a look of doubt.
"Yes, always," she replied, without knowing what she said; for her thoughts had wandered far from the subject, as soon afterwards appeared by her suddenly exclaiming, "I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave;—that your resentment, once created, was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created?"
"I am," said he, with a firm voice.
"And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?"
"I hope not."
"It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first."
"Well, I do prefer not to hate people without a reason," he said. "May I ask to what these questions tend?"
"Merely to the illustration of your character," said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. "I am trying to make it out."
"And what is your success?"
She shook her head. "I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly."
"Are all your sources reliable narrators?"
"I wish I knew."
"If one of your sources is Mr. Wickham, I am sure he had plenty of woes to share."
"He says that he has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship," replied Elizabeth, "and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life."
"Ah yes, he says," said Mr. Darcy. "You should know that Mr. Wickham subscribes to the school of ipse-dixitism. If he says so it must make it so, no other proof is needed."
"Is that a polysyllabic way of saying that he is a liar?
"That is a philosophical question," he said. "My experience is that it is a good idea to take Mr. Wickham's tales with a grain of salt. Did he tell you that he is a misunderstood hero who deserves to be treated like a prince and that it is somebody else's fault that he has wasted all of his chances?"
"Not in those words, perhaps."
"But if he really believes it, does it count as lying?" He shrugged. "Regardless, if Mr. Wickham is one of your informants I could wish that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as the perspective might be a little distorted."
"But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity."
"I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours," he replied. "But if Sir William's theory has any merit – do you not think that we might have plenty of opportunities to become better acquainted?"
After the set had ended Miss Bingley accosted Elizabeth with an air civil disdain. "So, Miss Eliza, I hear you are quite delighted with George Wickham? Your sister has been talking to me about him, and asking me a thousand questions; and I find that the young man forgot to tell you, among his other communications, that he was the son of old Wickham, the late Mr. Darcy's steward. Let me recommend you, however, as a friend, not to give implicit confidence to all his assertions; for, as to Mr. Darcy's using him ill, it is perfectly false: for, on the contrary, he has been always remarkably kind to him, though George Wickham has treated Mr. Darcy in a most infamous manner. I do not know the particulars, but I know very well that Mr. Darcy is not in the least to blame; that he cannot bear to hear George Wickham mentioned; and that though my brother thought he could not well avoid including him in his invitation to the officers, he was excessively glad to find that he had taken himself out of the way. His coming into the country at all is a most insolent thing, indeed, and I wonder how he could presume to do it. I pity you, Miss Eliza, for this discovery of your favourite's guilt; but really, considering his descent, one could not expect much better."
"In fact Mr. Wickham told me about his father himself," Elizabeth said. "And Mr. Darcy said that they used to be friends so even he would not automatically disqualify a person for his parentage. I would not wish to consider a person's guilt akin to his descent for I would be quite willing to befriend, say, a tradesman's children, if they are of good character."
"Right," said Miss Bingley, uncertainly.
"Mr. Darcy has not seen fit to warn the Meryton people about Mr. Wickham's behaviour so I wonder if he poses any danger to anyone here? Should you or your brother have any information about the deficiencies in his morals I dare say it would be of interest for the society Mr. Wickham keeps in Meryton. But if Mr. Darcy has not chosen to confide in you then perhaps you know no more of the matter than we do."
"I claim no expertise on the sons of stewards," said Miss Bingley.
"Yes, you must keep to some standards."
Jane had asked Mr. Bingley about Mr. Wickham but had learned little. Although he was convinced that Mr. Darcy had been blameless and honourable and Mr. Wickham's behaviour had been imprudent and less than respectable, Mr. Bingley had not been informed of any specific details of their quarrels. His acquaintance with Mr. Wickham dated from the same day the Bennet girls had met him on the street in Meryton. Mr. Bingley believed that the living had been left to Mr. Wickham only conditionally, but everything he knew about the matter he had heard from Mr. Darcy and could by no means be called an impartial witness.
"I am sure Mr. Bingley is sincere in his belief in his friend but we have very little in the way of facts," said Elizabeth. "Something must have happened to cause the breach between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham but we have no idea what."
"At the end of the day I suppose we might find that it is none of our business," said Jane.
"The only reason we even know is that Mr. Wickham wanted to make it our business and air his complaints," said Charlotte. "His motivation in abusing Mr. Darcy's character I cannot guess at."
When Mr. Bingley sought out Jane once again, Elizabeth and Charlotte wandered off and were soon joined by Mr. Collins. He had found out that Mr. Darcy was the relation of his patroness and wanted to pay his respects. Elizabeth attempted to dissuade him from introducing himself but he would not hear any objections.
"My dear Miss Elizabeth, I have the highest opinion in the world of your excellent judgment in all matters within the scope of your understanding, but permit me to say that there must be a wide difference between the established forms of ceremony amongst the laity and those which regulate the clergy; for, give me leave to observe that I consider the clerical office as equal in point of dignity with the highest rank in the kingdom—provided that a proper humility of behaviour is at the same time maintained. You must, therefore, allow me to follow the dictates of my conscience on this occasion, which lead me to perform what I look on as a point of duty. Pardon me for neglecting to profit by your advice, which on every other subject shall be my constant guide, though in the case before us I consider myself more fitted by education and habitual study to decide on what is right than a young lady like yourself."
"You are quite right, I am supremely unfit to assess the propriety of anyone's behaviour at an assembly such as this," Elizabeth said. "Lady Catherine would be quite appalled at my ignorance."
Mr. Collins looked taken aback but he did not veer off course. He presented himself to Mr. Darcy with a long monologue that the gentleman listened to with astonishment. If Mr. Darcy replied with contempt, coldness or cynicism Mr. Collins knew nothing of it and was quite happy with his reception.
"It seems that Lady Catherine has chosen the recipient of the living with all of her usual discernment," Mr. Darcy had said, and Mr. Collins chose to hear it as a compliment to both his patroness and himself.
"It was really a very handsome thought. Upon the whole, I am much pleased with him," Mr. Collins said.
When they sat down to supper, Mrs. Bennet was talking to Lady Lucas. They found Mr. Bingley to be a charming young man, and what a lovely party he could afford to give. For sure it was a stroke of luck that he lived so close, and his sisters were such stylish young ladies, and it was a very welcome connection. But they stopped short of announcing an engagement. Whatever would be would be for the best, Mrs. Bennet hoped.
Elizabeth reminded her mother that Mr. Darcy was sitting nearby and this had the effect of lowering the volume of conversation somewhat.
After the supper was over there was talk of music.
"Is anyone sober enough to sing?" someone said.
Mary stood up and was preparing to oblige the company. Her voice was weak and her manner affected and she usually chose songs that were too difficult for her so Elizabeth anticipated some mortification on her behalf.
"Is anyone drunk enough to sing?" someone else shouted, amid much laughter. And Mary sat back down.
Mr. Collins gave another awkward monologue about the innocent delights of musical talents that he did not claim to possess, concluding the speech with a veiled compliment to Mr. Darcy. He had promised or threatened to stay by Elizabeth's side all evening in order to endear himself to her by his delicate attentions. But Elizabeth endeavoured to convince him that Lady Catherine would think consider this quite unseemly.
"Do you not agree?" she asked Mr. Darcy who was standing nearby. To his credit, he did not pretend that he had not been listening, and was perfectly willing to back her up.
"Indeed," he said. "Lady Catherine is quite a stickler for propriety and would never countenance such exclusive attention, particularly if the couple is not engaged or courting."
"Mr. Collins has told me that she has opinions about dancing and even the amount of eye contact that is advisable," Elizabeth said. "I cannot believe that she would accept single people monopolizing anyone's company to such a scandalously obvious degree."
"I could write to her and inquire," Mr. Darcy suggested.
Mr. Collins was horrified. "By no means," he said quickly. "I would not have you go into any trouble on my behalf, Mr. Darcy. Excuse me, I see my cousin Bennet, I must ask him to introduce me to more of the neighbours."
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth said. "You have been of infinite use."
"That makes me happy for I love to be of use," Mr. Darcy said. "Might I be rewarded with your company for the last set?"