A/N not sure how many people are following this story here but you may also see it on AO3. But thank you for reading. This is completely unbeta'ed so forgive any mistakes. Thank you for reading!
Hermione and Harry sat cuddled up on the common room couch. Everyone around them was getting ready to leave for the winter holiday. The train would be leaving in an hour and the usual frenzy of the holidays suffused the air.
Ron appeared at the portrait door with a soft smile on his face. Hermione watched the ginger as he crossed the room, picked up her legs that were strewn across the couch, sat down and laid her legs across his lap. She raised her brow at him, "What's got you all smiley, Ron?"
Ginny burst through the portrait door, stopping to gape at her brother, "DID I JUST SEE YOU KISSING OLIVIA STRIKER?!"
Silence filled the mostly empty common room as they all looked at Ron expectantly. The redhead had blushed bright enough to match his hair as he nodded in affirmation.
Harry threw a pillow at his friend, "Oy! When the hell did that happen? Last month you two were at each other's throats during the Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff match."
"She's been helping me with History of Magic since Hermione has been a little preoccupied," Ron was smiling brightly, running a nervous hand through his hair. "When would I have told you two anyway? You've been holed up in Hermione's room until McGonagall told you off. I wasn't even sure she liked me back until she kissed me down in the entrance hall."
Ginny walked up and smacked her brother's arm. "If you hurt her I will make sure you'll need to be sent to 's to retrieve your bullocks, Ron."
Ron paled, "I won't. Merlin, you'd think you were her mother."
"She's my only female friend who actually likes to play quidditch. What am I going to do if you break her heart, Ron!" Ginny smacked him again.
The siblings continued to squabble in their familiar manner. It was odd for her to be there, in this normal teenage setting. Hermione wasn't a teenager anymore because of her time traveling and she had problems no one else could relate to. She had a bond with Severus Snape that she had caused and couldn't remember. She might have even bound herself to her best friend as well. It seemed so reckless and so unlike herself. But then again, Professor Snape was definitely different and Harry was in love with her. Hermione felt her face flush as she recalled their walk back to her rooms the night before.
The three students had been banished from Professor Snape's quarters by Mrs. Malfoy. They had followed Draco into the Great Hall for dinner despite being a bit early. Harry kept a firm hand clutching hers or rested it on her thigh the entire dinner. It was possessive and protective. Even a little intimidating after what had just happened in their potions professor's rooms.
The Headmaster wished everyone a good holiday and unceremoniously unleashed a wave of floating mistletoe through the Great Hall, spread out by a soft gust of snowy wind that gave off no coldness. The Christmas trees that lined the room were suddenly lit with the wizard equivalent of fairy lights. It was as breathtaking as it was every year. Hermione suddenly remembered her parents and how she had always wanted to show them the castle. A feeling of melancholy rushed over her.
Around them, students were leaving the hall in droves. The air was filled with excited chatter that was interrupted by errant shrieks as various couples were caught under enchanted mistletoe. None of this could rouse her from the longing feeling in her heart. She felt Harry push her hair out of her face and comb it back. He looked at her with such warmth that her heart skipped a beat.
"Come on, Hermione," It was as if Harry knew she was feeling sad. He helped her up off of the bench and walked, hands entwined through the throngs of students. It didn't come as a surprise when they were caught under some mistletoe a few steps before they made it out of the hall.
"Well go on then you two! We already know you've had your practice!" Seamus egged on from the crowd.
Bashful in front of most of the school, she kept her head down against his chest. She felt him chuckle and place his hands at her waist. A part of her was mortified at the entire idea, but years of failure had taught them that there was no use in trying to get free without sharing a kiss. Dumbledore was the only one who could end the spell but he never did unless a student and teacher were caught together. That thought brought her back to earlier when Professor Snape had kissed her in his bed. If her face wasn't bright red it would be now.
"Hermione, it's ok," Harry whispered, his finger tilting her head so she was looking him in the eye. His familiar eyes seemed to stare into her soul, the bond between them pulsed. It was only then that she noticed that the feel of it on her pinky had spread up the back of her arm, around her shoulder and down her other arm to her other pinky. Like an airy shawl that enveloped her. She could see a similar ribbon over Harry's shoulder.
The radiance and the glow of it, brighter than she had ever seen it. Harry smiled down at her and she returned it earnestly before leaning up and capturing his lips. Her mind was a confusing whirlwind of pleasure and a yearning for something else. The memory of Snape, his scent and his touch, burned through her senses. Hermione deepened the kiss making herself taste Harry and smell the petrichor tinged scent of him. She felt his arms wrapped around her.
The face of Snape, looking at her adoringly in his bedroom, flashed in her mind and a sharp pain stabbed her in the chest. The moan that she emitted was mistaken by Harry as a result of their kiss. His hand fisted her hair as his tongue teased hers. Hermione felt like she was stuck in two different moments, here with Harry under a mistletoe and in Snape's bed with his hand on her cheek.
The velvety touch of Harry's magic and his lips was interrupted as they were doused with ice cold water that made them jump apart.
"Miss Granger! Mister Potter! Detention on the first day of next term! The mistletoe moved on long ago." Professor Mcgonagall waved her wand at them, casting a drying charm.
"Sorry, Professor," Harry said, though his wide grin didn't match his words. The Scottish matron sighed, shaking her head.
"Need I remind you that you are Head Girl, Miss Granger?"
"No, Professor," Hermione bowed her head. Her nerve endings were dancing with the feel of Harry while her mind was wrapped around the memory of Professor Snape.
"I will be checking in with both of you at curfew. Do not let me find you loitering in Miss Granger's room, Mister Potter. Chosen One or not you are still a ward of this school and we have rules," With a 'hmph' she strode away.
Harry laughed once she was out of earshot. Their audience had dispersed while they were being reprimanded. Hermione felt like she was split in two. It was as if the knowledge and full awareness of the two bonds was creating literal internal conflict. The ribbon felt reassuring because it felt like Harry. The larger liquid darkness of her bond with Snape was mysterious, unfamiliar, but so enticing.
"Hermione, are you alright?" Harry took her hands in his.
Once more touching him, she could see the ribbons of magic that wrapped around them. She noticed then that if she looked closely, the ribbons looked almost like a rolling current that traveled from her to him. Hermione also noticed for the first time that while the ribbon was tied around her pinkies the ends of Harry's rested loosely in each palm, as if he could drop it to the floor at any moment. Hermione felt a shiver travel up her spine and felt like she knew more but couldn't get the memory to surface. The only thing that came to mind was that it looked almost like Harry held the reins and she was simply meant to go where he led. Like a leash. She shook her head at the unsettling idea.
"Yes, Harry. I'm fine, just a little embarrassed," Hermione nodded but couldn't look him in the eye. They walked hand-in-hand until they reached her door.
Harry pulled her into his arms and kissed her temple. His voice was muffled as she returned the hug, burying her face in his chest. "Hermione, I know the bonds are scary. But I need you to know that no matter what, I'm here. I don't care about the bond you have with Snape. I don't care if I have to put up with him to be with you. We are also bonded somehow which means you are meant to be here. Do you understand?"
"Harry," She pulled back far enough to meet his eyes. The look of determination and love, paired with the bond that she could see from her periphery was overwhelming. "Harry, if I can't break the bonds…I can't ask you to wait for me. The war…everything…we don't even know what the bonds will do. They have already altered so much. How do you even know you actually like me romantically and it's not just this bond?"
"I love you, Hermione. I. Love. You. The war is here, and we have no idea what will happen to any of us. I don't have time to second guess myself and I don't want to. You're it, Hermione. I knew at the end of last year. When I told you about the horcruxes and your first thought was of my safety. It took me so long to see it but I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Bond or not. If it means we have to have tea with Snape every afternoon so neither of you go crazy, I'll deal with it." Harry held her hands firmly. "You don't have to say it back. If I've learned anything all these years, it's that some things don't need words."
Hermione cupped his cheek and gazed into his sincere eyes. Her body seemed to suffuse with warmth and safety. She knew that she had loved Harry as a friend since first year. But seeing this man he had grown into, confessing his love for her, she didn't know what to say. There was a part of her that was hesitating. She had a feeling it had to do with the memories she had lost.
Not able to do anything else, she kissed his lips softly and bid him 'goodnight'.
"Hey, Hermione, you feeling okay?" Ron asked, squeezing one of her legs that lay across her lap.
Startled out of her thoughts, Hermione smiled. "I'm alright Ron, just a little tired. Studying for my Arithmancy term final might have made my brain mush."
Ron made a face at the subject, "Well, we are on holiday. After the Order meeting we'll be at Grimmauld place with mum and everyone. You can take your mind off everything for a bit."
"Yeah, Hermione, you can finally read something for leisure," Ginny teased. "Anyway, sorry 'Mione, but I'm going to steal Harry and my brother. We agreed to a pick up game of quidditch with Draco. He's probably already waiting for us."
"You sure you don't want to come, Hermione?" Harry asked when he noticed her roll her eyes.
"Wait, Ginny, can I talk to you for a bit?" Hermione said, sitting up and looking around them.
Ginny nodded and told the boys she would catch up, "What's up Hermione?"
"You know there's an Order meeting tonight?" Hermione began.
Ginny scrunched her nose, "Yes, and I'm still not allowed to sit in."
Hermione chuckled at the girl's disgruntled face. "I wanted to let you know about some of the major things that have changed in the war effort. I think you deserve to know and I would also, selfishly, like to be able to talk to another woman about it all."
"What are you talking about Hermione?" Ginny looked contemplative.
"You're only a year younger than us, and I know you'll be using the extendable ears anyway to listen in on the meeting. But I think having you know will help me a lot when I can't go to the boys about it. Ya know, when I need a level head." Hermione smiled softly at the girl.
"Is it about why you lost some of your memory?" The ginger haired girl asked, tentatively.
"We still don't know what caused that and it seems some things are still being kept from me to keep me from being overwhelmed," Hermione glanced at the portrait hole that Harry and Ron had left through. She knew it was probably Dumbledore who had told them to withhold information so she really couldn't blame them. What she had already learned was overwhelming enough. "Gin, do you know what a soulbond is?"
The other girl's brow furrowed, "Are you bonded to someone, Hermione?"
"Yes. Earlier this year I performed a ritual that resulted in me bound to the person I was doing it for. I still don't remember what exactly happened."
"Hermione, who are you bound to?" Ginny asked, curiosity getting the best of her.
"Professor Snape. Before you say anything. From what I know, I don't know what else the boys know. I had decided to modify a ritual to remove any dark curses on Professor Snape. It resulted in the removal of the Dark Mark and his improved appearance. But it has also complicated things. He can no longer spy for us." Hermione explained, interrupting the questions that were swimming in Ginny's head.
"You're alright though?" Ginny moved to sit next to her and take her hand. It was a surprising question.
"Yes, Ginny. I'm fine. The bond doesn't require much to maintain it. It has caused some uncomfortable encounters that I would love to have a girl to talk with about," Hermione admitted.
"So, let me just get this all straight," The Weasley girl winced as she seemed to rifle through her thoughts, "You are bound to Snape and you are the reason he looks so young. But now that he doesn't have a Mark he can't spy for us. So the war plan will pivot. Do we have any other spies?"
"Lucius Malfoy," Hermione responded, bracing herself for the response.
"What…oh so he's turned coat as well. Like Mrs. Malfoy and Malfoy the younger," Ginny rubbed her temples. "Can you break the bond?"
"Not without knowing what I did to modify the initial ritual," the curly haired young woman leaned deeper into the sofa.
"Did you ever look through your journals? There might be some clues. You always did fill them with bits and scraps of ideas." Ginny reminded her.
"Oh! Gin, you're brilliant. I completely forgot. Look, I know the boys are waiting for you so go." She replied, standing and waving her off.
Unexpectedly, Ginny pulled her in for a warm embrace, "You're a brilliant witch but you can be so stupid. Rituals, bonds, and Severus Snape. We will talk more tonight, deal?"
"Deal," Hermione agreed then insisted that the girl go.
It took a bit of work but she found the stack of journals and, specifically, the one she had started at the end of the last school year. There was also a curious amount of books Hermione didn't recall ever having. It seems she had truly gotten busy the last 6 months. She pulled some of the leather bound tomes out and immediately realized they were books on bonds and alchemy. As excited as she was to find some clues, she was eager to read her journal.
It started with the end of last term. She recognized some of the entries at first then it all became foreign. Her eyes sped across line and line of text. Pieces of paper with scribbled notes and arithmancy equations were tucked between entries. Hermione felt her heart racing, dread creeping in. She'd not just been researching bonds and rituals, but specifically one's that would take a sacrifice for a life returned. From her notes she realized she had been working on a brand new ritual.
Those entries were starkly different from the more mundane musings of her life at Grimmauld place and the frustration of the war. Hermione chose to ignore the more orderly and lengthy entries to focus on those about research. In passing she saw Professor Snape mentioned more than she expected in those verbose entries of the day-to-day. She marked those to look through later, curious about how far their involvement had run.
Then the scribbled equations and spastic train of thought came to a sudden stop. The following pages were scratched and torn and angry. She couldn't make out any words for a few pages, but it was almost like she could feel the sadness and pain dripping out of them. There was a sick feeling in her stomach that was replaced by the feeling of wanting to be swallowed by the ground.
Taped to one page was a newspaper article, "23 Killed In Largest Mass Shooting in Australian History."
Her hands trembled as she flipped the article open from where it was folded in half. There, underlined with wobbly lines, were the aliases she had considered for her parents. They were in the middle of the list of casualties with a picture of them. Her tears hit the paper, joining the older dried stains on the brittle page. She flipped forward and found the next few pages empty. It seemed she had stopped writing completely after that.
Overcome with emotion, Hermione dropped the journal to the ground and sobbed.
Severus was making his rounds as the last few students left for the holiday. He had taken a moment to relish in the silent hallways and look out upon the snowy embankment surrounding the school. It was a moment of peace in a sea of turmoil, and it was short lived.
He felt her magic surge followed by a stream of emotions so jumbled and painful it felt like a punch in the chest. Hermione.
It was luck or coincidence, but Severus was on the floor where Gryffindor Tower let out. He dashed down the hall, and with a swish of his wand broke her wards and strode into her rooms. He was immediately met with a bombardment of unrestricted magic that did nothing to quell the sounds of a woman screaming and crying like a dying animal.
Within moments he found her surrounded by the remains of her rooms. She was on her knees with a whirlwind of magic circling her.
"Hermione!" His voice was firm but she did not acknowledge him. Realizing that his Occlumency shields were up, he tore them down and felt the full onslaught of her emotions. Through the bond he called for her, pushing his dark liquid magic at her. The whirlwind died, the wailing quieted, but the girl didn't look up. The pain, the self hatred, the regret, and most of all, the guilt was crashing around him. Then suddenly it was receding. No!
He recognized the signs of deep occlusion. He crossed the room, pulling her up to her feet but she couldn't hold herself up. Severus tipped her chin and saw the dead look of her eyes. Panic nearly took hold of him, but he shoved it away. With a whispered apology, the potions master tore into her mind. Legilimens
There was no library.
A/N Any ideas what will happen next? Anything you hope to happen?