I don't own anything to Baldur's Gate. I don't make money with it. I'm writing fanfictions because I love it. So I ask you not to sue me.
English is not my mother tongue. I don't have a beta reader. Feel free to point out mistakes to me.

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Chapter 1 – Ladyfingers-Pudding-Cake

Tav wanted to laugh. Wanted to throw her head back and laugh loud enough for everyone to hear. It was just ridiculous. So unspeakably ridiculous. Her group was familiar with broken bones, gashes, concussions, and so much more. The fights they found themselves in were always brutal and bloody. But after each victory they were able to tend to their wounds. Shadowheart used her healing magic and when not, they always made sure to have enough healing potions. Neither of them cared for long about the battle wounds.

Tav looked at her companion lying in bed.

However, this...

"You think that's so funny, don't you?" the pale elf said grumpy, not sounding anything like his usual self. His stuffy nose made it difficult for him to breathe and his voice sounded scratchy and rough. A violent urge to cough overwhelmed him.

Tav knew that maybe she should feel compassion, but considering everything they had been through together, this was just weird. She tried really hard not to laugh. But she couldn't wipe away the cheeky grin on her face.

"I didn't know vampires could get colds?"

Astarion narrowed his eyes at her. "As you already realize, WE CAN!"

Unimpressed by his bitchy attitude, she placed a hand on his forehead. Nothing. He was cold as always. Interesting...

"You don't have a fever."

"Believe me, darling, my undead state hasn't changed with a few pathogens."

Tav rolled her eyes. "You're worse than before. Is it because you're a man or because you're just insufferable?"

He gave his trademark grin. "I would still consider myself irresistible despite any circumstances."

His ego was definitely still intact.

The door swung open and Shadowheart stepped into the room. Her mouth and nose were covered by a cloth. She looked reproachfully at Tav because she had nothing wrapped around her face. A little thing she had forgotten.

The cleric sighed loudly and closed the door behind her without responding. Tav didn't either, instead she asked what they both wanted to know.

"Did you figure out how our mascot got a cold?"

Astarion coughed indignantly at the word mascot, but to her it was an accurate description. Of all her companions, the pale elf was the most charismatic. Shadowheart seemed to silently agree, as Tav could see a mischievous glint in her eyes. Lae'zel had even once referred to Astarion as a cat. Which was amusing since Gale had actually tried spraying him with water when he didn't behave. Of course without success.

"Vampires can't get sick in that sense," Shadowheart explained, watching as Astarion snorted into a handkerchief.

Tav looked from him to her. "Yeah... our group has always been different. Explanation?"

"Like I said, vampires can't get sick in that sense." However, when the cleric raised an amused eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest, they both knew she had an answer. "Of course there could be exceptions if a certain vampire annoys a certain wizard a little too much."

"I KNEW IT!," Astarion immediately revolted loudly and was punished with a strong cough. Tav tried to give him relief by stroking his back. She looked at her friend confused.

"I didn't know Gale could do that."

"You know how creative he is and he has experience with cats."

Do not laugh! Do not laugh!

Astarion glared at the half-elf and squeezed out a weak "Why?" between coughs.

"Do you remember thinking with Tav about what each of us might taste like?"

Tav nodded for her friend. They had done this thought experiment once.

"Do you also remember that Gale's blood tasted like bile back then?"

Tav nodded while Astarion gagged in disgust. It was an experience he would have liked to undo. For everyone else it had been a fitting punishment. Their group vampire had learned the hard way that you should ask before you bite. Gale's condition at the time had made his blood untrinkable to any vampire.

"It's not like that anymore," Tav reminded her friend. Gale was completely "normal" again, if she could use that term for her group.

"True," Shadowheart simply replied, leaning close to the pale elf for her next words. "Curiosity is the death of cats."

While Tav thought for a moment, Astarion seemed to quickly understand the meaning and grinned, somewhat surprised. Now she understood!

"Astarion!"

"I was curious!" he defended himself. "Without that orb thing, his blood should taste different. You can't blame a vampire for wanting to drink blood. ...It's not like I'm draining anyone in our group."

The puzzle pieces came together for Tav. Gale must have noticed that Astarion was getting a little too curious and thought of a trick to punish him for a possible attempt. Of course, it was only a matter of time before the vampire became weak and tried to secretly bit him. It was not to be expected that the punishment would be a cold. This had to be an interesting experience for the pale elf.

"How long am I going to stay like this?" he asked miserably, snorting into the handkerchief again.

Shadowheart shrugged. "A couple of days? One week? It's just a cold Astarion. You've been through worse."

He collapsed theatrically onto the bed. "I remind you of this when you are sick. This disease is terrible! All that mucus and that scratchy throat. Normally, as a vampire, I don't have to deal with things like that anymore."

"Then you should remember the rule we-ask-before-we-bite." And with that the cleric disappeared, leaving her companion suffering.

Tav stood there for a moment, wondering whether she could laugh about it. Gale had ideas that she had to praise. Seriously! Who came up with the idea of cursing a vampire with a cold? It was quite a drama, especially for their mascot. ...She couldn't hold back her laughter any longer.

"...you're probably not the only one who enjoys it," the elf mumbled from the bed. He had turned away from her and buried his face deep in the pillow. The sight brought a spark of pity, causing Tav to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Lae'zel had already suggested that we put you out of your suffering." She remembered the Githyanki warrior too well and how she had rolled her eyes at the statement. Jaheira had explained to her that most men become insufferable with this simple illness. A weakness that the warrior naturally didn't take kindly to.

"Maybe I should infect Lae'zel and see how she reacts," Astarion suggested, but didn't look at her. Tav tried to imagine that. The result was that she shuddered.

"A sick, even worse-tempered Lae'zel than we already have?" She shook her head. "She would behead us just to make herself feel better."

"...most likely."

The silence that followed was only broken by the vampire's sniffling and coughing. She leaned forward slightly and stroked his silver hair. The question of whether she could do something for him was on the tip of her tongue, but Tav knew he would only respond snidely. It was a simple illness that the vampire simply had to endure. Still, it was annoying to be sick in bed. Everyone understood that.

"Do you need blood?" Tav offered. But Astarion shook his head.

"You don't want me on your neck in this disgusting state."

That wouldn't have really bothered her. If it could give him some relief, she wouldn't hesitate to give him her veins. ...just like usual. Tav didn't think that was the problem either. His nose was running. He coughed up mucus. Astarion hated feeling ugly and simply didn't want to be seen like that.

"I can also cut myself and put my blood in a cup," she offered him another idea, whereupon the vampire looked slightly at her.

"That might be better," he replied before turning away from her again.

Tav stroked his head one last time before getting up and leaving the room. She would just get a cup and then let Astarion whine as much as he wanted. Anything to make him feel a little better.

Down in the tavern she saw her friends sitting together at a table and joined them. Gale was the first to notice her and tried to suppress his satisfied grin... he failed miserably.

"Tav!" he greeted her. "How is our sick friend?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, but couldn't help but grin too.

"Bitchier than usual. You're welcome to visit him."

"I politely decline. I don't want to seduce him again with my stunning neck. Although I think he will stay away from me for a while. Blood probably doesn't taste as good if you can't smell it."

"Probably."

Tav asked an approaching waitress for an empty cup and then immediately wanted to go back to Astarion. He might have been more unsufferable than usual, but she didn't want to leave him alone for too long. As soon as she got the cup in her hand, she turned around and started to leave, but heard Lae'zel say snidely: "Are you feeding the cat?"

Tav shrugged. "We don't want him to scratch the furniture."

"Men of my people would be ashamed to exhibit such behavior just because they coughed a little."

Your people would probably kill them too... possibly...

"It's a common phenomenon across every race," Shadowheart added. "Men like to brag about scars and how they supposedly shrug off every wound, but beware they have a cold. Then they think they are dying."

"Wait a minute!" Gale intervened and looked at his friend reproachfully. "It has been scientifically proven that there are differences in the immune system of men and women. Hormones and genetic disposition influence-"

"This statement is merely an excuse to cover up his own weakness," the Githyanki warrior scoffed, to which Shadowheart nodded in agreement, much to everyone's amazement.

"So you're telling me that this is the case with every race?" she said to Gale. "Men have a genetic disadvantage? Or are you just unable to deal with a simple cold?"

The discussion that ensued was fascinating. The wizard stubbornly tried to defend the honor of men from the concentrated female power of Lae'zel and Shadowheart, while Wyll hoped not to be drawn into it and Karlach watched the spectacle with amusement. Tav, on the other hand, had no desire for this duel between the sexes. But again someone stopped her from going to her sick vampire.

"Hey Tav!" came from the red Tiefling. "Have you ever been sick?"

The question surprised her. "Yes. When I was little more than now. How come?"

"How is that? I would ask Astarion, but he would probably just be grumpy."

Of course. Karlach had probably never been sick, due to the engine she still carried in her chest. She was simply far too hot for pathogens.

"You feel too weak to do anything fun. Most of the time you just lie in bed and can't breathe properly."

The red Tiefling grimaced. "That really doesn't sound fun."

"As a child, it was sometimes a nice experience," said Wyll, who preferred to take part in their conversation over the others. "When I was sick, that was the only time my father brought me grated apple with gruel in bed and told me stories. I was sick, but those moments were always worth it to me."

"Aw! That sounds sweet!" Karlach replied with a broad grin and turned to Tav. "What did your parents do?"

She thought for a moment and remembered all the turmoil that always existed in her parents' tavern. But when she was sick, her mother always liked to make a pudding cake. They always had ladyfingers and the chocolate pudding was always liked by kids. Tav remembered how amazed she always was that the "cake" didn't just fall apart.

She had an idea!

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He would suck the stupid wizard dry next time! He would even risk pneumonia if it meant Gale's stupid grin would be wiped off his face! How had the wizard even done that? A cold as a curse? How ridiculous was that?

Astarion sneezed again three times in a row and blew his nose. That was just disgusting. He couldn't remember the last time he was so sick. As a vampire, such illnesses didn't have to bother him anymore and yet Gale had found a way to punish him with something so annoying. By the Seven Hells! He was a vampire! He couldn't be accused of wanting to drink blood. He had just wanted to take a sip.

"Stupid wizard with his stupid..."

Hell! Even his own voice sounded terrible! How long would it take for him to recover?

Astarion looked at the door and listened to the goings-on in the tavern below. His companions were certainly having fun with his condition. He wanted to bite every single one of them. ...Where was Tav? Getting a cup shouldn't be difficult. They were in a tavern! People were drinking their minds away here!

Astarion sighed and looked at the wall again. She was probably tired of him. At least that wouldn't surprise him. He was already sick of himself. All that mucus and coughing. Disgusting!

However, when the door opened the next moment, he couldn't help but even sit up in bed. Tav was back, carrying a small tray. She closed the door with her foot and placed the serving platter on his bedside table. She said nothing but looked more than satisfied. He raised a skeptical eyebrow and eyed everything.

The cup of blood made sense and was what he was most looking forward to, but the other thing... On a plate was a pudding surrounded by ladyfingers and decorated with raspberries. It was amazing that the dessert didn't fall apart. The question was still, why?

Astarion didn't have to ask because Tav sat down next to him with a satisfied smile and started talking.

"Wyll talked about what his father always did when he got sick and I had to remember my childhood. My mother always liked to make me this dessert to fortify myself. Pudding was always easy to digest and I loved it, especially with chocolate flavor."

The half-elf looked happy. It had to be pleasant memories. Astarion didn't remember much about his childhood. He couldn't remember if there was anything special when he was sick.

However, the fighter had to mistake his thoughtful face for disapproval and her smile disappeared in the next moment. She looked down at her lap in shame.

"And you're a vampire and you don't need anything like that. The blood would have been enough. Sorry. I let myself get carried away by a stupid idea again. You don't need food."

That was true. Blood was the only thing he needed, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the gesture. His body couldn't handle food, and that also applied to wine, but he still enjoyed taking a sip every now and then.

"No. Your thought is…sweet."

The smile he gave her was mischievous, but deep down it really pleased him. And the shy smile she gave him would have made his heart beat faster if it had been alive.

"It certainly looks interesting." He eyed the dessert. "The pudding holds everything together well. I expect it to fall apart if I take a bite of it."

"Believe me, it'll hold," Tav assured him, cutting him a piece like a cake. It stayed in fairly good shape. She handed him the plate and the cup of blood. Astarion considered both options. He had to grin.

"Not that I don't appreciate your effort, but my favorite dessert is still the one thing." And with that he took a big sip of her blood. Tav didn't seem offended in the least.

"I know," she simply replied, looking dreamily at the floor. "But somehow I wanted to do this for you. Just so you can..."

"...feel normal?" Astarion helped her finish the sentence and put the mug on the bedside table. "Darling, you're so relaxed and open with me, there are times when I actually forget that I'm not normal."

He put a spoonful of pudding in his mouth. It was a normal chocolate flavor. The ladyfingers were so soft he could actually mistake them for dough. The whole dish was simple but sweet. If he were alive, he really could have enjoyed it more. Of course, a clear nose to breathe would also have been helpful. After one bite, Astarion put the dessert down again. Tav smiled lovingly.

"My mother cuddled with me afterwards when I finished eating. So..."

Astarion looked at her skeptically. "You want to cuddle? With all that?" He waved a hand in front of his face, primarily wanting to draw attention to the nasal mucus and the dry cough. He just looked terrible right now. Tav, on the other hand, just shook her head with a laugh and pushed him slightly to the side in bed so that she had room.

"We've walked through swamps, been spit on by monsters, trolls have licked us..." She fluffed the pillows, lay down and stretched her arms out to him. "There's my gorgeous vampire with a cold still a flower in a barren desert." Astarion raised an eyebrow at her. "And you think flattery helps?" Tav grinned broadly. Oh, and how she knew that. If someone didn't have a mirror image, he had to rely on what others said.

"OK! Fine!"

And with that he resigned himself to his fate. Astarion let the half-elf take him in her arms and rested his head on her shoulder. Her gentle stroking over his hair calmed him and he listened to the rush of her blood. Maybe it wasn't completely bad to be sick for once. ...Who was he trying to kid? It was awful! And he would get revenge on Gale!

For now, however, he had no complaints and would enjoy the comfortable silence between Tav and him. After all, tomorrow was another day.