First thing I want to say is I'm so sorry for the wait on this!! I was doing so good updating and then I hit this huge wall of writers block. But I'm back, and this chapter was technically supposed to be two, but because you guys waited so long I just put them together.
I also want you guys to know I have a ton planned for this story, I'm not sure WHY it says it's completed but it's not! It's in progress and it will be until I finish it. I appreciate every person who comments, and kudos, and bookmarks. It's my favorite.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this update.
xxxxxx
Pounding.
Loud, obnoxious, painful, pounding.
Mac sighs, brushing a strand of her black hair behind her ear. The police station buzzed lightly around her. It had to be close to 3 o'clock in the morning, but Mac still found herself sitting under the harsh lighting of the buzzing florescent. The team went back to their hotel hours ago, but Mac couldn't sleep.
Solely based on JJ's profile, the team ended up solving their case in Washington within a couple days. But after being home just shy of 12 hours, they were called out on another case in Florida. Serial killer slicing off men's faces and in place, gluing on blank masks. It was brutal; which meant all hands on deck.
Mac sighs again, her brain was pounding against her skull, making it hard to focus on the pictures in front of her. There was a pattern in the pictures, she just had to find it. Mac sets the picture that was in her hand down, before standing up from her chair. She reaches her arms up, stretching her body, before dropping her arms and letting out another sigh.
She was useless, and she knew that, but she couldn't sleep. Her mind was moving so fast, and yet none of it was about the case. It was all about JJ. She spent most of the Washington case checking in with JJ, making sure that a courthouse wedding was what she really wanted. JJ assured her that they would have a wedding with their family and friends, but the marriage was for them, and she wanted the marriage not just the wedding. Mac understood the sentiment, she just couldn't help to feel it was fueled by fear.
Something she could relate to.
She kept her relationship with JJ the same for 2 years out of fear.
She finds herself back in her chair, pouring over the same 15 pictures of the same crime scene. There's something here she could feel it, but the migraine growing in her head was making her fuzzy. She rests her head in her hand, her eyes gazing over the pictures, and her free hand lazily shuffling them around on the table. She closes her eyes for a moment, allowing herself a moment of peace. She feels her body relax and she slows her breathing, if she had any hope of finding anything in these crime scene photos, she needed just a moment.
——
"Mac." A voice with the combination of her shoulder being touched, causes Mac to jump and her eyes to open. When she does, she sees it is light outside and the precinct is buzzing loudly around her. She looks up to see JJ setting down a coffee cup in front of her, before she sits in the chair next to her.
How long was her moment?
"Hey." Mac says with a tight smile. Her voice was heavy with sleep, as she blinks to allow her eyes to adjust. She runs a hand through her hair and her eyes lock on the cup of coffee. She leans forward and grabs the cup, taking a sip, and letting out a satisfied groan.
"Thank you." Mac says, her eyes finally locking on the concerned look on her fiancée's face.
"You didn't come back to the hotel last night." JJ states, her tone matching the look on her face.
"Yea, I just… couldn't sleep." Mac says before taking another sip of her coffee.
"Mac, you know what your therapist says about sleep, you-"
"Hey, we got a lead." JJ's thought was stopped short when Morgan walked into the conference room. Mac could feel the relief wash over her, for she was not ready to have the therapist conversation with JJ. She hasn't been in a while, and JJ doesn't know. She hasn't been lying per say, she just hasn't been and has avoided telling her parents or JJ.
"Hotch wants us to check it out." Morgan says, motioning towards Mac.
"Great." Mac says, standing up and walking towards Derek. She was grateful for a potential break in the case, but she was also happy she had an out from the conversation brewing with her fiancée. Derek looks over and makes eye contact with a slightly annoyed JJ. Derek squints his eyes slightly, questioning her, but JJ shakes him off. Derek nods in understanding, as Mac brushes past him. He offers JJ a small reassuring smile, before following Mac out. JJ watches them leave before sighing heavily. She was worried for her fiancée. She was worried Mac was pushing herself again.
Mac has always been really open about her mental health status. Her time in the military only added to her existing anxiety and tacked on PTSD just for the fun of it. She gets spells of insomnia, which only makes the anxiety worse, which only makes the insomnia worse, so on and so forth. It's a cycle and once it starts it's hard to stop. But JJ has gotten good at recognizing when a cycle starts and she's able to step in and get Mac to her therapist and then to sleep. She's just not the same person when she doesn't sleep. She's paranoid, and angry.
JJ has met that version of Mac once. It was terrifying, but more than anything she was worried sick. She just wanted to make it better. And when she saw Mac slumped over in the conference room, that pit in her stomach returned. The one that told her Mac was not ok.
xxxxxx
"What?" Mac says into the tense air, not bothering to look up from the file in front of her. They had been silently driving for a little over 10 minutes now. Derek kept his eyes on the road, and his mouth shut. But his silence was deafening and Mac had enough.
"Nothing." Derek says simply, earning an eye roll from Mac.
"Derek.." Mac sighs, closing the paper file and turning her head towards her partner.
"What?" She asks again, her tone more firm, leaving little room for another denial.
"You're doing it again." Derek says, his eyes remaining on the road. Mac's eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"Doing what again?"
"Pretending you're ok when you aren't." Morgan says, turning his head briefly to look at his friend.
"I'm fine." Mac shakes her head softly, before turning to look out the window.
"Just saying I'm fine, doesn't make you fine."
"I'm not just saying I'm fine like it's an opinion. I'm stating a fact, I am fine." Mac breathes out.
She was fine.
A little overwhelmed, and a little tired but she was fine.
She was fine.
"I am fine." Mac repeats. Her voice was quiet, almost like she was saying it more for herself than Derek. It wasn't lost on the man next to her, but he decided that for now, it was best to let it go. They were all under extreme pressure from this case. Not to mention exhausted from the back to back cases they found themselves on.
"Ok. I believe you." Derek turns his head to look at his partner. Their eyes meet briefly, Mac offering him a small smile before turning her head.
"Derek!" Mac's frantic voice pulls Derek's head back towards his driving. He sees a rather large grey SUV parked in the middle of the intersection. Derek pulls the wheel trying to maneuver around, but the back end of their SUV is clipped by the park truck, sending Mac and Derek spinning.
"Shit!" Derek yells, pulling the wheel as hard as he could, trying to get the car to stop spinning. As the car comes to a stop, Mac and Derek are facing the parked truck. The same truck they believed their unsub drove.
"Shit it's an ambush!" Mac yells, and just as the last word leaves her mouth, the sound of a machine gun fills their ears just seconds before hearing the impact on their car. They both duck instinctively, before sharing a look. Derek reaches for his seatbelt and clicks it open, watching as Mac tries to follow.
"Fuck…" Mac presses against the red button on the seatbelt. It wouldn't give, she was stuck. "…. It's jammed."
"Call Garcia. Tell her to send units out to our location." Derek shouts over the gun fire. He manages to slip out of the drivers seat, staying as low to the ground as possible. He was able to pull the fire away from the car, leaving Mac safe to quickly dial Garcia.
"Morgan!" But he didn't hear her, not over the gun fire. She lets out a frustrated breath, before pulling her phone from her pocket. She presses the speed dial, and puts it on speaker as she looks around for something to cut her seatbelt.
"The oracle of all-"
"Garcia!" Mac cuts her off, and Garcia furrows her eyebrows at the frantic tone.
"I need you to send units to our location! We were ambushed!" Mac shuffles through the glove box, finding a seatbelt cutter; that's when Garcia hears the gunfire in the background.
"Doing it now.." Garaic dragging out the syllables as she works as quickly as she could.
"I also need you to run a plate. 8 Lima, 726, November, 7." Mac rattles off the plate of the truck as she cuts her seatbelt off.
"Done! The car belongs to-"
"Great, call Hotch." Mac hangs up the phone, as she slides down and out of the SUV. She unholsters her gun, trying to stay shielded by the car. She takes in the scene before her. There were two men behind the parked SUV, they both had what looked like military grade weapons. Mac turns her head to see Morgan with his back pressed up against the back side of their SUV. She saw panic in his eyes that bordered on fear. He's an incredible agent, but he's no soldier.
"Morgan!" Mac shouts gaining his attention immediately. She gestures for him to stay low, and stay put. She was going to draw their fire away from him, giving him enough time to fire out a couple shots. The goal was to incapacitate one or both of them, it was risky, but it's all they had until back up got there. Mac checks her weapon, checking the magazine before sliding it back, and cocking her gun back. She takes a few steaming breaths, before standing up quickly with her gun pointed at the men. To gain their attention, she fires a shot, hitting their SUV. The gun fire stops momentarily as the two masked men turn their attention and gun fire back over to Mac. She ducks quickly, the sound of gun fire and cracking metal ring in her ears.
xxxxx
JJ and Reid stand next to board, JJ holding the marker in her hand as they talked over the evidence. It had been a long grueling case, and JJ was ready for a stiff drink and a nap. Or maybe a nap and then a stiff drink, she wasn't sure which one should come first. But she was exhausted. She was ready to have some days off and spend in wrapped up in her favorite person.
"Something just doesn't feel right." Rossi says, gaining the attention of Reid and JJ.
"This guy, he's smart. He's methodical. Every move has a move, but leaving evidence behind seems… out of character." Rossi continued out loud. It wasn't directed to any one member of the team, it was just a thought that had been bugging him.
Bugging all of them really.
"It just seems like-" Reid's thought was cut off by the phone in the conference room ringing. Rossi eyes the young agent before turning and pressing the button to answer the call.
"Garcia." Rossi says, knowing only one person would have this line.
"Sir, it was an ambush." Garcia says through the phone immediately.
"What?" Hotch questions immediately, lowering the file in his hand, his attention now solely on the phone. All of their attention was now on the phone.
"Morgan and Mac. They walked straight into an ambush sir, they need back up." Everyone in the conference room shares a look before they all start moving in different directions.
"Garcia, get local PD to their location now. Any information-"
"… Is being sent to your phone now sir." Garcia finishes Hotch's thought, a soft smile gracing the man's face for a moment.
"Thank you Garcia."
"Be safe my loves." Garcia says before the line goes dead.
——
How is this always happening?
How is it that every time she's in danger, she's not there. She's somewhere else, doing something else. Something that isn't protecting her. JJ continues to berate herself silently as their SUV flies through the streets, racing towards danger.
It's true, she was worried about Mac before Mac even left the station. Something was… off. She was off, but now she's in danger and JJ is racing across town to get to her; to save her.
Hopefully.
But she feels as if she's always so far away from her when she's in trouble. When she needs her, she's always so far away. And maybe that is why she's so concerned. She wants to be ahead of the game for once, she wants to protect Mac, she wants to be there for her. Because for as long as there has been a them, Mac has always been there for her, always.
-Flashback-
It was late.
"Hopefully not too late." JJ mutters to herself. She stood at the familiar door, in cargo pants, boots, and a plain black t-shirt. She had just arrived home from Afghanistan, and was home for all of 5 minutes before she was itching to leave. She had been at the state department for almost 6 months now, and in that time she's only really talked to Penelope. A couple texts here and there doesn't really constitute as talking, but with her reassignment it was all she could really afford. She has shared a couple texts with Mac, mainly texts that consisted of:
'hey how are you?'
And one lingering
'I miss you.'
It hadn't gone unanswered on purpose. One day turned into two, and as more time passed, the more strange JJ found it to even try to respond. If JJ was being honest, she reread that text on some of her hardest days. She allowed that text to give her comfort and allowed her to dream of Mac, and what their life would be like. Mac provided her comfort, even if she didn't know it. But standing at her door, just hours after returning from the top secret assignment she was forced on, after not talking for months, may seem…
"…. That hilarious!" An unfamiliar voice followed by laughter, stops JJ's train of thought. She pulls her focus from the door and turns her attention to the source of the noise. That's when she finally sees her. After months of dreaming, here she was in the flesh and she looked beautiful. Her tight navy blue dress left nothing to the imagination, and her heels accented her legs in a way that made JJ want to run her hands along them. Her hair was up, pulled back into a messy bun, leaving her shoulders exposed, and her smokey eye shadow made her eyes pop.
She was breathtaking.
But she wasn't alone.
Next to her was a slightly shorter red head, who immediately irritated JJ. Her existence irritated her.
"It was definitely…" Mac turns her head and she stops. She couldn't believe who she was looking at. She hadn't heard from JJ in months, and now she was on her doorstep and she looked… off.
"JJ?" Mac's voice was dripping in disbelief. She had dreamed of this moment before, the moment JJ showed up in her doorstep. But in her dream, she wasn't on a date.
"Hi." JJ says simply, with a sad smile that said everything.
"Hi.." Mac steps forward, her face was scrunched up with worry. "… What are you… Is everything ok?" The question almost broke the 6 month dam. 6 months of anxiety and tears, it almost came flooding out right here on Mac's doorstep; with her date watching.
"Yea I just… I'm sorry I didn't know you were busy…" JJ shakes her head in embarrassment. "… I'm going to go." JJ makes a move to leave but Mac stops her, stepping in her way. They make eye contact and Mac sees the tears sitting in JJ's eyes and makes a decision.
"It's ok, just uh…" Mac turns slightly to look at her date. The red head offered her a small supporting smile, which Mac returned before she turned back to JJ.
"….Give me a minute?" It came out as a question, but JJ had no interest in denying this woman. JJ nods her head quietly and softly, watching as Mac turns away and walks back over to her date. Envy bubbles in her stomach at the idea of that woman touching Mac in all the way she imagined touching Mac.
"Hey." Mac smiles gently.
"Hi. Is everything ok?" The redhead asks softly. She genuinely sounded concerned.
"Yea I uh… she's my friend- my best friend. And she's going through something right now, and I just need to.." Mac stumbled over her words, trying to find an elegant way of telling her date to get lost. Not that she didn't enjoy the redhead's company, she did. But when JJ is around, it seems that no one else ever really matters to her.
"Mac.." The redhead stops Mac's rambling, placing a hand on her hip, pulling Mac a little closer. "… it's ok, I get it." She smiles, her eyes dropping down to Mac's lips before looking back up into her green eyes. "You're a great friend Mac Foster. I hope you're just as good as a girlfriend." The redhead chuckles softly before leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to Mac's cheek. She whispers a goodbye to her date, before walking back the way they came. Mac turns and truly takes JJ in for the first time. She looked tired, but more than that she looked lost. It took everything in Mac not to just pull her in, and hold her.
"You didn't have to-"
"It's ok." Mac's voice was soft and reassuring. Mac takes a step forward, invading JJ's space. JJ wanted to lean forward and place her lips on the exposed skin before her. It would be easy, they were inches apart as Mac opened her door. But the closeness was soon cut off as Mac got her door open and stepped through it, leaving JJ room to follow. She closes the door behind where softly, before turning back to the darker haired woman.
"You hungry?" Mac asks, stepping down and out of her heels, kicking them to the side. Her bare feet pad across the hardwood, as she makes her way to the kitchen. JJ watches as she pulls her long dark hair down from her perfectly messy bun. She shakes it out, allowing the dark locks to fall over her shoulders, before pulling open the fridge to inspect it. She looked perfectly domestic, and JJ; just for a moment, allowed herself slip into the daydream. Coming home from date night, looking for a late night snack to share.
"JJ?" Mac voice interrupts the daydream, sending it to a screeching halt in her mind, as she makes eye contact with the green eyed beauty. It was almost too much. Her green eyes held such warmth, and security, it was safe. And that thought alone was enough for JJ to break.
"What? Oh, I uh…" JJ trails off, and before she knew it there were tears falling down her face, and sobs escaping her mouth. Mac abandoned all thoughts, and stepped forward to collect JJ in her arms.
She held her until she was out of tears. She made her food, and after she held her again. She held her in absolute silence, never asking or prying. Just simply held her until she was ready.
-End Flashback-
"JJ?" Reid's voice accompanied by his warm hand on her shoulder brings JJ out of her thoughts. It was a nice memory to be lost in. Though the guilt still remained. She had to get to her, she couldn't loose her. Mac was everything to her, even before she knew she was everything.
"How close are we?" JJ's voice was clipped and emotionless. She was burying what she could to get through this day.
"1 minute." Hotch answers from the drivers seat. JJ's eyes flick up to the rear view mirror, where Hotch's dark eyes were already waiting for her. They have a silent conversation, one where Hotch asks if she's ok to do this, and she nods at him firmly. He seems satisfied by her response, and his eyes flick back to driving. The whole interaction lasting only seconds, but it was enough time for the two agents to be on the same page.
As they arrived at the scene, everything was shockingly still. Local PD surrounded the men who were now lying face down on the cement. They all scan the scene, and JJ couldn't help but to wince when she spotted the familiar government issued SUV and the shape it was it. It was filled with bullet holes, the glass shattered out of every window, and the back bumper was smashed in where they made contact with the unsub's car.
She spots Morgan and that quickly led her to spotting Mac. They were both talking with the captain, as he was writing stuff down on a small notebook. She feels eyes in her and turns her head to see Hotch starting at her. He was gauging her reaction. It almost felt like he was waiting for her to do something unprofessional. But she was surprised when a small smile cracked his stoic face and he nodded his head towards Mac gently. Giving JJ silent permission to check on her fiancée. JJ offers him a small smile back, before she mad her way over to Mac, as calmly as possible. As she approaches, she catches the tail end of their conversation with the captain, but JJ kept her eyes on her fiancée, even if she was turned away.
"… Alright Agents, I think that's all I needed." The captain closes his notebook and shoves it in his pocket.
"Thank you all. You've bought my city some peace tonight." Heather sticks out his hand and shakes Mac's then Morgan's hand, before stepping around them and walking back over to his own men.
"Hey blondie." Morgan greets with a tired smile. The smile was for her, she knows that; to put her at ease. Mac pushes her long black hair from her face, before she turns and faces her fiancée. At first glance she was ok, no major damage, except for a sharp red line across her cheek.
"Piece of glass flew during the fire fight. Cut my face. I'm fine." Mac reports quickly after seeing JJ's blue eyes settle on the angry red mark on her face. As JJ remains silent, Morgan's eyes flash between the two, studying the two women he knows so well.
"I'm going to check in with Prentiss and Rossi." Morgan says out loud, but knowing neither of them heard it. They were having a very loud silent conversation.
"Are you good?" Morgan asks softly. His voice accompanied by his gentle hand in her shoulder, causes Mac's eyes to flash over to him. She nods silently, which was enough for Morgan. Heather excused himself and makes his way over to Prentiss and Rossi. The couple stays silent as Mac's green eyes lift up to meet JJ's blue ones. Concern was shining in her eyes, clouding the very bright blue that Mac could never get enough of.
"Let me see." JJ says softly. Her voice was soft, as to not attract attention, but her tone was stern, leaving no room for anything but her way. JJ's hand comes up to softly cup Mac's chin, and turns her head to the side, inspecting the cut on her cheek. It was minor, wouldn't even need stitches, but it was bleeding.
"I'm fine." Mac says softly, her face soft with understanding as she watches her fiancée process. JJ's thumb wipes at the blood that dripped down, before moving her hand and shoving it in her pocket. Her intrusive thoughts were playing a much darker scenario in her head.
"I know." JJ whispers. And she did, know. But still, she was worried, she couldn't help but to be worried. She was going to be worried for the rest of her lives, that was just part of it.
The clean up the quick and easy. Local PD was eager to put this whole thing behind them, and send the unsubs to jail. Quick and easy, meant they were on the jet and home just in time for Garcia to swoop them up and take them to the bar for cocktail hour.
And that's how Mac found herself, three tequila shots and two beers in at… 6:30. Mac sighs, disappointed at how early it was and how drunk she felt. She hoped it was later, but it was way too early for Garcia to let them leave.
She was exhausted and just wanted to be in bed, buried in her bed, or possibly in JJ. The thought of her fiancée causes Mac to look over at the beautiful blonde. She was dancing along side Reid, who just looked like he was thinking about trying dance. The thought occurred to her that one of Callie's favorite things was to go out dancing and how Reid might look trying to keep up with her. She zones out for a moment, thinking of Callie and Spencer and what could become of them. She didn't want to pry, but she did want to know what was going on with them. Callie seemed smitten, and Reid seemed… nervous?
"Hey." The familiar voice spreads warmth across Mac's chest as she focuses back in on what was around her. JJ was now standing next to her, with her beer in hand. Her face was slightly flushed but Mac couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or from the dancing.
"I love them." JJ says with a laugh. She watches Garcia dance in a circle around Morgan, almost as if she was daring any woman to approach him. Prentiss and Reid rocked awkwardly to the music, stuck in their own conversation about the new season of Doctor who.
"Me too." Mac chuckles, throwing back her shot of tequila, before setting it down on the bar. She retrieves her beer, and turns to watch the goofballs she calls family. As they stood happily by the bar, watching their friends dance off their shots , JJ could feel her face soften as realization washes over her.
"I think I want a wedding, wedding." JJ says over the music. Mac turns her head, beer pressed against her lips, to look at her fiancée. They hadn't talk about their moment in the bathroom. Mac figured they would have to at some point; but the stress of the case left them busy enough that they hadn't had a chance.
"Me too." Mac agrees. She would've given JJ the courthouse wedding if that is truly what she wanted. She would give JJ the world.
"But I don't want to wait. I still dont want to wait to be your wife." The conviction in her voice causes Mac to turns her head and look at her. They make eye contact and Mac could see the fire in JJ's sharp blue eyes. She was serious.
"….but I will. At least for enough time for us to plan a wedding." Her face softens and Mac smiles, before pushes herself off of the bar, grabbing JJ's face between her hands and gently smashing her lips against the blondes. JJ would've felt embarrassed by the impassioned public display of affection, if she wasn't completely surrounded by the people she loved. When air becomes a priority the two break apart just enough for Mac to look into JJ's eyes.
"I can't wait for you to be my wife." She whispers. The words fall gently across JJ's face, before she is once again pulled into an earth shattering kiss.
xxxxxx
Slow.
That's how their morning was. Slow gentle movements. Soft fingers caressed familiar skin, lips moved across their bodies softly, leaving behind nothing but tingles. Whispers of love and JJ's soft gasps fill the air while Mac's moans get swallowed in her fiancées skin. They slowly brought each other over the edge, their moans and pants move across the chill air of their bedroom, but fall short of the door.
It was so very slow, so very quiet, but so very perfect.
They lay on their backs, next to each other, catching their breaths silently. Mac gently plays with JJ's hand, watching JJ watch their fingers dance together. If Mac could stop time, she would in this moment. It was so quiet, so peaceful. There was nothing but her, JJ, and this bed. JJ laid perfectly against their pillows, her blonde hair splayed across them. Her skin slightly pink and flushed from their morning activities. Her chest rising and falling rhythmically. Everything about JJ and this moment was perfect. Mac allows herself a few more minutes of silence, before letting go of JJ's hand and moving to leave the bed. She feels a shift and turns her body to tell JJ her plans to use the bathroom when she feels JJ climb on top of her.
JJ straddles Mac's lap, effectively stopping her from leaving the bed. The sheet that was pulled around her body, falls down to her waist as JJ wraps her arms around Mac's shoulders. Mac brings her hands up JJ's back softly, pulling her impossibly closer. Their bare chests are pressed together as JJ brushes her nose against Mac's. They sit like that for a moment, both enjoying the stillness their morning brought them.
"Give me a reason to not go on my run." JJ whispers, her eyes opening to find Mac's waiting green eyes.
"I could give you a thousand, but you should go on your run." JJ hums in agreement, remaining in her position, unwilling to move.
"Some would say, what we just did is the cardiovascular equivalent of going on a run." JJ whispers, a slight joking tone laced in her words.
"Some would say a lot about what we just did." Mac whispers back earning a soft giggle from the blonde above her. Mac leans back and tucks a strand of golden hair behind her fiancée's ear, before pressing another gentle kiss to her lips. JJ hums softly, her eyes closed as she breathes in the warmth that this moment provides her.
"Go on your run. I'll be here when you get back.
So she does.
JJ gathers herself enough to get out the door and go on the run she wanted to go on. She wanted the domesticated feeling of a routine. They had a few days off coming up and they planned to enjoy them doing nothing. The next few months for them were going to be crazy. Between work, and planning a wedding, they were going to be swamped. So they decided to spend these days doing nothing, or as Mac so elegantly put it, doing each other. After JJ leaves, Mac pads into the kitchen, starting her own morning routine, starting with coffee. As she waits for the water to boil, she thinks about what she wants to do while JJ was gone. She could read, or catch up on all the tv that she had missed. She wasn't used to the house being so empty since Callie came.
Callie had been at Reid's since the proposal, their relationship moving in a way Mac was still unsure about. It wasn't that they were together, it was the way Callie didn't really talk about it. Callie was always really open about her relationships, especially with Mac. But with Spencer, Mac could tell something was different, and she wasn't really sure what to do about it. History dictates that she just had to wait it out, Callie would come to her eventually, but it was giving her an uneasy feeling.
The sound of the water finally boiling brings Mac out of her thoughts. She reaches forward to turn off the stove and continues the process of making coffee. Maybe it was best if she was distracted, she couldn't obsess over what was happening with Callie and Reid. She knew Callie would come to her when she was ready, and until then she had to just wait. After making her coffee and deciding to read a book, Mac finds herself curled up on the couch with a hot cup of coffee, a book, and JJ's favorite fuzzy blanket. It was the perfect way to spend her time while JJ was out on her run. It was the perfect distraction because she quickly found herself immersed in the book. Flipping the pages at a steady rate and sipping on her coffee.
A swift knock on the door causes Mac to look up from her book and towards the door. Her eye brows furrow together, as her mind quickly tries to guess who was at the door. She stands up and places her book down next to her coffee, and pads softly over to the door before swinging it open.
"Sandy! Hi!" Mac exclaims in surprise. Of all people she was expecting to be on the other side, her future mother in law was not one of them.
"Mac!!" Sandy abandons her bag outside of the front door, to step forward and bring Mac into a bone crushing hug. "Surprise! I'm so happy to see you."
"It's good to see you too." Mac says, as Sandy releases her with a wide smile. Mac silently offers to grab Sandy's bag, as Sandy walks further into their loft. Mac brings the bags inside and sets them on the ground with a quiet thud, before shutting the door.
"As soon as Jenny told me about the engagement, I hopped on the next flight I could." Sandy says again, her face shining with happiness. Things with Sandy have always been easy. In fact, the first time Mac ever met Sandy, was Christmas almost 3 years ago now. JJ brought Mac home for the holidays and to her surprise, she was met with nothing but warmth from the Jareau family. Mac never explicitly asked JJ if her family knew she was bi, so she didn't really know what she was walking into, but it was one of her favorite Christmas's to date.
"Well Jay is out on a run right now. Can I get you some coffee?" Mac asks, her eyes flashing over to the clock. It was early, and if Mac had to guess, she would guess that Sandy had been up and traveling since early this morning.
"I would love some! Thank you dear." Mac nods in understanding, before heading into the kitchen.
"How was your flight?" Mac asks simply. She was surprised to see Sandy, JJ had mentioned she talked to her mom and broke news of the engagement, but she didn't expect her to come up to Virginia.
"Oh, it was fine. I was just anxious to get here. I've missed you both." Sandy sounded genuinely happy to be there. It was never difficult or awkward with Sandy. She was always so welcoming, so it was easy for Mac to return the gesture.
"Here you go." Mac says as she returns from the kitchen to find Sandy sitting on the couch.
"Thank you, Sweetheart." The older blonde graciously accepts the mug with a smile on her face.
"Do you want me to out your bags in our room?" Mac asks looking over at the small bad a suitcase Sandy came with.
"Oh no sweetheart I can't do that. Jenny told me about your sister staying here." The news took Mac off guard, the older blonde always opting to stay with them while she was in town, but Mac shrugged it off not trying to read more into it.
"Oh, yea she's been staying in the spare bedroom." Mac says, finding a seat in the couch next to the older blonde.
"And how is the rest of your family." Mac smiles and couldn't help but to feel her heart swell at the love that Sandy has for her and her family. She sips on her coffee and updates Sandy on her family while they wait for their favorite girl.
——
"Hey." Mac says quietly, greeting her fiancée at the door.
"Hi." JJ says, pressing the door closed. Once JJ looks at her fiancée, she couldn't help but to offer her a sultry smile. Mac looked unbelievably sexy to her.
JJ was shining with sweat from her run. Her perfect pony tail, was now frizzy from the sweat, her jacket was wrapped tightly around her waist, leaving JJ in just her leggings and sports bra. Mac would by lying if she said she wasn't just a little turned on by JJ's appearance. Something about her flushed cheeks and her soft pants, take Mac to a dirty place. A place her mind shouldn't be in, right in this moment.
"So listen…" Mac starts, but she trails off as she watches JJ slowly peels her sweater from her body and drops it on the floor without a care.
"Hmmm… I'm listening." JJ smiles, noting Mac's pause. JJ kicks her shoes off before she takes a couple steps towards her fiancée.
"Jay.." Mac starts again, trying to find the words, but she honestly forgot what she was trying to say, as JJ pulls her hair down and shakes it out. She looked mouth watering delicious, and Mac wanted a taste.
"What were you saying…?" JJ whispers, finally making it over to Mac. She presses her lips to Mac's neck as her fingers dance with the hem of Mac's shirt.
"Jenny?! Is that you?" The familiar but unexpected voice cause JJ to immediately step back from Mac. JJ's sharp blue eyes, cut up to Mac's face, searching for an explanation. The last person she expected to be in their home was her mother.
"Your mom is here." Mac swallows the thick arousal that was building in her chest as Sandy's voice filled the air. Before JJ had a chance to respond, she sees her mom step out of the kitchen and start to make her way towards her.
"Mom!" JJ finally finds her voice as her mom wraps her up in her arms. "What are you doing here?" JJ asks, returning the hug her mother had her wrapped up in.
"Well when your daughter calls and says she's getting married you don't just stay home." Sandy pulls backs from JJ to unconsciously inspect her in the way only a mother does.
"As happy as I am to see you, you didn't have to come all the way out here." JJ smiles, genuinely happy to see her mother.
"You guys are trying to get married in just a couple of months! There's so much to do, and there's no time to waste." Sandy replies confidently, earning a loving chuckle from JJ. "Plus any excuse to see you." Sandy says, her face bright with an endearing smile, as she cups JJ's face gently.
"I love you mom, but we haven't even decided on date."
"Good thing I'm here. There's a lot to do, but first I would love to take you two out for dinner." Sandy offers with a smile. Mac and JJ exchange a look before JJ looks back at her mom.
"You don't have to do that Mom. Mac can cook or we can order in." Sandy waves off her daughter quickly, shaking her head.
"No, no. I want to do something nice for you two. To celebrate." Mac and JJ couldn't help but to smile at each other before conceding to Sandy. "…Plus it will be a great time for us to talk." JJ raises her eyebrow, the profiler and her picking up the slight change in her mother's tone.
"Is everything ok mom?" JJ asks and the older blonde immediately nods her head.
"Yes." Sandy smiles. JJ gives a satisfied nod before looking at Mac who shrugs lightly.
"Dinner sounds great, Mom."
"Then it's done. Dinner tonight." Sandy smiles, clapping her hands together in finality.
"Sandy, are you sure you don't want to stay here?" Mac offers. "We don't mind taking the couch, just in case Callie decides to appear." She chuckles lightly.
"Oh no sweetheart. I have my hotel already set up." She pulls Mac into a soft hug. "… you're sweet to offer. But I know what it's like to be newly engaged." Sandy wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.
"Ok. Goodbye mom." JJ groans, practically shoving her Mom out of their front door, while Mac snickers enjoying the interaction.
xxxxxx
"JJ, Mac. My Office." Hotch says before turning on his heels and walking into his office; His voice stoic and hard to read. After her Mom left, they managed to shower together without too many wondering hands. They wanted to get to work early, so they could get a jump start on their paperwork, because once they finished, that had two days off. The thing with back to back cases is, it makes for a lot of backed up paperwork and reports.
Mac and JJ share a look before setting their bags down and heading up the cat walk and to their bosses office. Mac knocks on the frame gently, more out of respect than signaling their presence, before stepping in. JJ follows behind her closely before shutting the door softly behind her. They both shuffle to stand in front of their bosses desk, awaiting his explanation.
"I've just been informed by the brass that they will be doing a formal interview with the two of you, in regard to your relationship." Hotch says, looking up from the paperwork that was in front of him.
"I don't understand, I thought the brass cleared us." JJ replied. Shortly after the team found out about their relationship, JJ and Mac decided to go through the official channels and put their relationship on record. They had more than enough evidence over the last few years, to prove they were able to still function on the same team while carrying on a romantic relationship. That combined with Hotch's endorsement, seemed to make the brass happy enough to leave them alone. Well until now.
"They did, however some people feel like steps were being skipped." Hotch said, his voice calculated as he knew he was in the room with two very skilled profilers.
"Strauss." Mac said simply, leaving no room for argument. The corners of Hotch's mouth twitched in amusement, he couldn't hide much from his team. They were the best at what they did, but nevertheless, the command structure was at play, and more than that; politics. He had a game to play to insure his team continued to stay safe, and this was just part of it.
"When?" Mac asks after they are all silent for a moment.
"Now." Hotch says, picking the piece of paper off of his desk and handing it to them. They both stare at it like it was going to explode, before JJ takes it from Hotch's hand.
——
Mac could swear she heard clicking, she wasn't sure where it was coming from but she could swear she heard something. To be fair, she was doing what she could to distract herself from the uncomfortable situation she found herself in. She sat with JJ in front of the desk of a woman who looked ready to ruin both of their careers. Her red hair was tied up tightly into a bun, as she stared down hard at the paperwork in front of her. It's been only about 5 minutes since they arrived, but it's been spent in a painful silence. Their arrival was hardly recognized by the agent sitting across from them. She seemed disinterested in small talk, or any type of talk in general.
"You've had sex with each other." The woman by the name of Agent Farley says, her voice coming to surprise the couple across from her. She lifts her head from the paperwork that she was intently staring at before. The statement catches Mac off guard, her head turning to look at JJ.
"Yes." JJ says clearly and firmly. Her voice held no fear, no hesitation. Mac looks back to Agent Farley, she looked unimpressed by JJ.
"And you're planning on doing so again?" She asks, looking between the two of them.
"Yes." JJ answers again, her voice unwavering.
"Good news." Mac says, an amused smile growing on her face.
"Because neither one of you are in a subservient position to the other…"
"Well sometimes." Mac interjects, causing a smile to pull at JJ's lips. Agent Farley pauses, looking in between the couple. Both biting back smiles, they knew this was serious, but they couldn't help to feel ridiculous. Here they were uncomfortably unpacking their sexual relationship with someone who had no knowledge of their existence just hours ago.
"…You work together and you're sleeping together." Agent Farley starts again, her hands folded nearly on the desk. "… You don't see any way that can go wrong?" Her question sent a streak of anger through JJ's body. Haven't they proven enough, haven't that given them enough evidence. They have managed a relationship and professionalism in the office and in the field, and yet they were here defending their choices; defending their relationship with a woman who could care less about them or what they went through to be here.
"We've given plenty of evidence to support our ability to remain professional on the job, despite being in a relationship." JJ's voice once again showed no hesitation; her media lesion voice kicking in. She wasn't backing down, but neither was Agent Farley.
"Agent Jareau, I'm not worried about what it looks like when you're together. I'm worried about what it looks like when you break up. People take sides in a breakup, your team is not exempt." JJ could feel rage starting to boil in her stomach.
"We aren't going to break up." Mac argues back. It was a simple response, it felt almost childish, but Mac couldn't just sit here and allow this stranger to downgrade what they had. It was starting to feel like an ambush.
"You say that now Agent Foster, but unfortunately you just don't know that." Agent Farley responds effortlessly. Like she had seen this scenario play out in front of her before. People swearing up and down that they were in love, and that they were never going to break up. Mac knows how naïve it was to say that she and JJ were never going to break up. She knows she probably sounds like a pathetic love sick teenager.
"You think that we just made this decision one day. That we just decided to sleep together, with no regard for our jobs, our team?" Mac bites out. Her anger grabbing ahold of her momentarily. She takes a few steadying breaths, trying to keep herself calm enough to get out of this office.
"I made a choice. Not to love JJ." Out of the corner of her eye, Mac could see JJ's head snap towards her. Mac could feel JJ's eyes on her, but she continued, not looking away from Agent Farley. "At one point I made the choice that I wasn't going to love her. Not like that. And then… she kissed me." Mac chuckles softly at the memory. The air around Mac was silent as she sits with her words for a moment. Mac shakes her head, her eyes refocusing on the unpleasant women before her.
"After she kissed me I made a choice. I made the choice to love her, and I plan to do that forever." Agent Farley studies Mac very closely. It was clear neither agent was backing down, and she has other cases to get to.
"And if your plan fails?" She asks coldly.
"Then you can transfer me out of the BAU." Mac responds quickly and confidently. She could feel JJ's eyes boring into the side of her head. She knew JJ wanted to protest, but she stayed quiet as Mac went head to head with the biggest pain in the ass the FBI employed. Agent Farley's eyebrow raises, Mac's answer seemed to please her.
"Can I get that in writing?" She asks, pushing a piece of paper and a pen towards Mac.
——
"Mac!" JJ calls after her fiancé. After writing her statement, Mac took off before Agent Farley was done talking with JJ. She had no choice but to agree to the terms and had to sign Mac's statement.
"Mac! Stop." JJ was able to catch up to her fiancé with a light jog, pulling the darker haired woman to a stop.
"Jay-"
"No." JJ cuts off whatever Mac was going to say. And she didn't care.
"You don't get to unilaterally make a decision like that. We are a partnership." Mac's face softens at JJ's words and could help but to feel bad.
"… Not to mention I had it handled." JJ adds proudly.
"She wasn't letting up Jay. I had to give her something." Mac tries to reason.
"Really? Telling her you'll leave the BAU if we ever break-"
"Are we going to ever break up?" It was Mac's turn to interrupt and it caught JJ off guard for a moment.
"What- no, of course not." JJ defends.
"Ok, then I think we are in the clear." Mac steps forward and presses a chaste kiss on JJ's pouting lips, before stepping around her and continuing down the hallway. It takes JJ a moment to process what just happened before she turns on her heels and follows Mac back to the bullpen.
xxxxx
The rest of their day went relatively smoothly. Getting what they needed to get done, plus some extra prep work for when they get back from their weekend. The bullpen was buzzing with excited energy. A weekend off felt like a holiday, as it came around so rarely. Everyone was just waiting out the clock to hit 5:00pm.
"Hey, how's the face?" Morgan asks playfully before leaning against Mac's desk. It was 4:45 and everything was done, including cleaning off and organizing their desks.
"It's fine. It won't even scar." Mac shakes her head with a small smile.
"Shame, scars are hot." Mac couldn't help but to laugh at the banter between her and her teammate.
"What's hot?" The familiar voice of Penelope Garcia fills the air, and Morgan turns his head to smile at her as she approaches them.
"Scars."
"Mmm agreed." The eccentric blonde says quickly before turning her attention back to Mac.
"I heard your future mother in law is in town." Garcia says, with a playful gleam in her eyes.
"Sandy is in town?"
"Yup, she got in this morning." Mac says, as she stands from her desk with a smile.
"Is she staying with you?" Penelope asks watching Mac gather all of her things.
"Nope, said she booked a hotel." Mac answers, shrugging her shoulders as JJ approaches them, her things already in her hands.
"Hey you ready?" JJ asks with a smile as she comes to a stop in front of the group.
"Yes." Mac confirms and JJ couldn't help but to lean forward and press a small kiss against the darker haired women's lips.
"Excuse me agent Jareau. That was unprofessional, this is a work place." The playful voice of Emily Prentiss fills their ears and they all turn with her, all with various looks of amusement.
"You heard?" JJ deadpans and Morgan couldn't hold in his laughter. His laugh causes JJ to glare at him, and Penelope to back hand his arm, trying to get him to stop.
"Of course we heard. Plus Prentiss is getting her honey hot from someone in HR." Penelope replied.
"My honey hot?" Emily repeats, trying to remain serious. The group laughs, as they all start to head towards the elevator.
"Oh there he is! Pretty boy. Come on we are going to grab drink." Derek says, as they wait for the elevator.
"Oh… I uh.." His eyes cut over to Mac and JJ before he swallows thickly. "I can't."
"Reid just say you have plans with my sister, it's ok." Mac chuckles. The blush creeps up Reid's face and Morgan and Prentiss couldn't help but to laugh.
"Ah, young love." Prentiss jokes and Reid's blush got impossibly deeper.
"Have fun tonight." JJ says sincerely, before they all say their goodbyes and get in the elevator. The elevator group chatted about their weekend, before Mac and JJ say goodbyes and make their way home to get ready for dinner.
xxxxxx
The restaurant was cozy but it was nice. Definitely nicer than JJ was expecting. Her mom made a nice living, but not…
"17 dollars for a burger?" JJ says out loud. The conversation between Mac and her mother pauses and both turn their attention to the blonde.
"Sorry." JJ murmurs. Sandy and Mac both chuckle. Mac pushes a strand of gold hair behind her fiancee's cheek before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Once she pulls away, JJ takes a moment to admire her fiancée. She was wearing an emerald green blouse, and perfectly fitting black pants. Her hair was pulled into a neat bun, minus the free strands of dark hair that fell along her face. Her eyes were the perfect bright green and JJ couldn't care less about the 17 dollar burger at this point.
"Get whatever you guys want, it's on me." This grabbed JJ's attention back over to her mom. Sandy didn't want to interrupt the moment between her daughter and Mac but she loved how much her daughter was loved. She was sure she watched Mac fall in love with her daughter all over again, earlier in the night. She watched as Mac took in her daughter wearing a navy blue dress that made her eyes look like a sharp blue; like they could cut right through you. Sandy stood with Mac by the door waiting for the younger blonde, when she appeared out of their bedroom. She watched in adoration as Mac praised her daughter and showered her in kind words and compliments.
"Mom-" JJ tried to argue but she was stopped short.
"It's my treat. We are celebrating." Sandy's tone held a finality that caused JJ to just smiled and nod her head. The trio fell into easy conversation, flowing between wedding talk and work talk, some mentions of what the future might look like. Laughs were shared and wine was drank, and as their dinner came, the conversation on Sandy's side seemed to slow. Both profilers picking up on the change in the older blonde.
"So how long you do you plan to stay in town, Mom?" JJ asks, before taking a sip of wine.
"Well, I wasn't quite sure. I came down to see you, and Mac.." Sandy shoots Mac a smile which is quickly returned. "… Plus there is something I've been meaning to talk to you about." Sandy nervously wipes her mouth with her napkin. Mac slowly sets her wine glass down, taking in their serious note that Sandy left on.
"Mom?" JJ says carefully. She sets her fork down on her plate, studying her mom.
"What's going on?" JJ asks carefully. She watches her mom's eyes bounce nervously around the restaurant.
"Well, honey… I uh.." Sandy wipes her mouth with the napkin that was placed over her lap. "… I wanted to talk to you, about something important." Sandy sighs, taking a cautious sip of her wine. Mac looks over at her fiancée and then her future mother in law. Her eyes flicking between the older and younger blonde.
"Do you remember Debbie, from next door?" The younger blonde nods her head in confirmation, watching her mom closely.
"She and her husband Michael split last year, and well… Michael was very good friends with um… your father." The word slipped from her mother mouth so easily, yet it made JJ's entire body go rigid. Mac turns her head once she feels JJ's body tense up. JJ never talked about her father, ever. And while Mac was always curious, she never pushed.
"…Well Michael told Debbie, and Debbie told me that your father had been trying to contact me for a while." Sandy pauses, gathering her thoughts momentarily. "… And I didn't care. I didn't. Not after everything not after…" The older blonde stops herself, her eyes finding the matching blue eyes of her daughter. Sandy clears her throat, shaking away the bad memories before continuing.
"I didn't care. But something in me started to wonder. After all this time, after all these years, why now? So I met up with him. And we met for coffee and we…" Sandy chuckles lightly, almost blissfully.
"Mom…" JJ's voice was careful, nervous, teetered on the edge of panic.
"We have decided to reconcile." Sandy says, solidifying the very scary thought JJ had. JJ's eyes flutter closed at the unwelcome news. It was silent at their table, but the restaurant continued to buzz around them. Mac's eyes stay trained on her fiancée, watching her digest the information.
"Why?"
"Honey.."
"Why? I mean, how? How could this… How could you just forgive him?" JJ tried to contain her anger, she did. But the very idea of her father snaking his way back into their lives made her nauseous.
"It's not that simple, Jenny. I didn't just forgive him. I-" Sandy's words were cut off by JJ's abrupt movements. She pushes back her chair and stands up in almost a blink of the eye. She can't listen, she doesn't want to listen.
"I need some air." JJ quickly excuses herself from the table, leaving Mac and Sandy in silence. Mac wasn't sure what to do here, what her place is. JJ had always made it silently clear that the topic of her father was off limits. Mac knew some of the story, but not all of it. When JJ brought him up in passing, Mac always knew to tread lightly. Never ask too many questions. That's the rule she lived by. But now sitting at this table with her future mother in law, Mac was feeling a sense of regret. That she should've asked, she should've pressed a bit more. She's supposed to challenge JJ to be better, but instead she chose to let her do what was comfortable, which for JJ is avoidance.
"We were young, when we got married." Sandy's voice brings Mac out of her thoughts back to reality. Her eyes land on the familiar blue ones of the woman across the table from her.
"….We were young but boy were we in love. You couldn't tell us anything…" Sandy chuckles lightly at the memories she played in her mind.
"…. We chased dreams, and took on fights bigger than ourselves. But that was ok, because I had Alan." Sandy hums at her own words, but Mac stayed silent, leaving the floor open for her.
"When I found out I was pregnant with Roslyn, I stared at that little strip like it had two heads. I was instantly scared and worried, but Alan…. He was so steady, so sure. And then Roslyn was born. All pink and vulnerable, and immediately she had Alan wrapped around her tiny little pinky…" Sandy trails off, tears welling in her eyes. Mac couldn't help but to be at a loss of words. It's the most anyone has ever talked to her about the ins and outs of JJ's parents.
"…I didn't think he could love something so… big. And then Jenny was born, and it was like he was complete. We were complete. The four of us were inseparable. Jenny and Ros slept in our bed for years." The laugh Sandy let out lightened the air for a moment. The happy memories flowing through her mind as Mac just watched and listened. She wanted to give Sandy all the space to say what she needed.
"… And then we lost her. Our baby girl. It was like a light went out in him. He started drinking, withdrew from me, from Jenny. He blamed himself, it was his razor that…" Sandy stops herself, wiping desperately at the tears at fell down her face. Mac reaches across the table, taking Sandy's hand in the comfort of her own. Sandy offers her daughter's fiancée a thankful smile as she regained as much as her composure as possible.
"I knew Jenny wasn't going to-"
"Don't worry about that. I'll talk to her." Mac finally breaks her silence to offer the older blonde some reassurance. Sandy squeezes the younger woman's hand, thanking her. Mac gives Sandy a moment to compose herself, before excusing herself to find JJ.
——
Mac blows out a breath, as she sits down next to JJ carefully. She found her outside, sat at a bench next to the restaurant. It appeared to be a place for people to sit while the valet hailed a cab, or while they wait for their cars. The air was silent, but it was heavy. Mac didn't say anything, she let her presence be enough until JJ was ready.
"How could she? I mean…" JJ scoffs angrily, shaking her head in disbelief.
"…After everything, after leaving." She could barely form a coherent thought, her anger bubbling over from years of trying not to think about her father. Mac turns her head to take in JJ for the first time. Her face was red with anger, but her eyes held a certain sadness. Mac knew that anger was just the default emotion, a mask for what she was truly feeling. If Mac had to guess what she was feeling was very raw, and opened a never healed wound for her fiancée.
"I think…" Mac starts, watching as JJ turns her head to meet her eyes.
"I think, that if someone who lost a daughter, and a husband.. someone who lost so much, can hear him out and forgive him, maybe what he has to say is worth listening to." Mac's words hit her harder than she was ready for. JJ lets her fiancée's words marinate for a second before she sighs and nods her head.
xxxxx
Soooo how are we feeling? This is officially the start of the major plots in this story! It feels so good to get here. A lot of what's been happening is set up for what is to come! I hope you guys love it and I can't wait to hear what you guys think. Thank you guys so much in advance and I will see you at the next update.