Bridge to Nowhere
Day two at school begins pretty much like day one.
My dad left on time for work this morning, so I let myself out of the house. He has no food in his cupboards, but he did make sure to get the front door key copied for me before I came, and there's a spare in a place that I'm not going to tell, because then it wouldn't be a secret any more.
All the way to school I'm telling myself, I'm not afraid of Edward Cullen. He can be a jerk all he wants, but he can't bully me. Black glares and stupid outbursts. I've held my own against worse.
As I roll into the school parking lot, the first thing I notice in the gloaming is that the silver Volvo is nowhere in sight. I just want to be sure that I don't park anywhere near it. But it's not there. I squeeze my red monster between a dark green van and a pretty old-looking Taurus. That should keep anyone arriving late from parking next to me.
Turns out there is a bunch of kids hanging out on the other side of the van. I recognize Angela. She's standing next to a vaguely Asian-looking boy with hair down to his shoulders, and the top of his head barely up to her eyebrows.
"Nice ride!" calls one of the other boys there, giving me a "thumbs up." I have no idea whether he's being sincere or sarcastic. I don't know his name either, only that he's black. Another stand-out in Forks, I guess. But the rest of the kids seem to be giving me friendly looks, so I return the "thumbs up," flash a smile at Angela, and scurry off to my locker and class.
The class schedule rotates around because there are more subjects for us to take than periods in a day. So today, Biology comes after lunch. I'm glad that Jessica is being as friendly to me on day two as she had been on day one. Glad I can just drift around with her group and have a table to sit at for lunch.
The gossip has turned to other things besides the Cullens, so I really can't be looking at their table. But I am sure I only count four of them there, the one time I let my eyes slide past them on my way to the salad bar. And Edward isn't one of the four.
Walking back to Jessica's table, I realize that my stomach is all clenched up. Scolding myself doesn't help. Listening to Mike's blow-by-blow of the Sonics game doesn't help, either. I'm not afraid of Edward. I just don't want to be taken by surprise. It looks like he isn't going to be in school for the day. But he does have his own car. He could show up any time. I just want to be ready.
What I'm not ready for is the gaping black hole in the seat next to me in Biology. He's been absent all day. There is no reason whatsoever for me to expect him to suddenly appear for this class. And I'm glad that he hasn't. Relieved. But the space beside me just feels so empty. Had his wound-tight-to-the-breaking-point presence yesterday really been that powerful? No. No way. It has to be me. Worrying and obsessing and trying to think up a smart come-back or two, just in case he might make some other mean remark or gesture to me today. All that fight-or-flight adrenaline, turns out now with no place to go. That's what's making me suddenly feel like a planet that's slipped its moorings and drifted off into space.
Build a bridge, Bella. Get over it.
By the time he comes back to school tomorrow, he's not even going to remember you.
Except that he doesn't come back.
Not tomorrow, or the next day.
Or the day after that.
_
Mr. Molina never asks anybody where Edward is, so of course I'm not going to. By the end of the week, I know everybody's names in Jessica's group, and also the group by the van – the two kind of overlap a little.
Thumbs-up guy is Tyler. He's one of the "popular" kids. Being cute and on the football team and driving a slick new van probably have a lot to do with that, but he's not as stuck up about it as some I've seen. He gives rides to a lot of kids, and he's nice about it.
Angela has confided in me that she likes that Asian boy, whose name is Eric.
"But he never notices me, Bella. What am I going to do?"
I didn't know how to tell her she was asking the wrong person, so I suggested, "Maybe he's just shy." At which she almost spewed her Diet Coke.
"You've got the wrong Eric! Have you heard the jokes he tells?" Of course I hadn't. Yet. The two of them work on the school newspaper together. That could be a good thing, couldn't it?
And before I know it, my first week of school in Forks is over.
I know where everything is. People have pretty much stopped asking me questions about "What's it like in Phoenix?" and "Why would you ever come here?" I was able to dodge out of a school newspaper feature about me, although that involved Eric being pretty mean to Angela, which I didn't like. All the regulars at Bessie's diner have clapped my dad on the back and asked me if I remember them.
I'm in love with my red monster.
My red monster chugs gasoline like it's going out of style.
The sun never shows his face.
And neither does Edward Cullen.