Varian had always felt vaguely like his family was keeping something from him. When he was a little kid he had thought that it was just one of those normal family things. That his Dad, aunt, and uncle just weren't talking to him because they were dealing with issues that a little kid shouldn't have to worry about. But as Varian got older and just felt like there were more and more secrets, he felt like there was something more.
Most days he was desperate for answers. He would take notice of when something was being hidden from him, and he would try to probe about it. The more curious he got, the more frustrated his dad was with him. It had gotten to the point where his dad would just say "I'm not talking about this." and then he'd walk away and leave Varian feeling frustrated and rejected.
Whenever Varian asked Hector about what was going on the man would just roll his eyes and say that while he thought Varian was old enough to handle whatever was going on, it wasn't his decision to make. It was Quirin's.
Varian tried not to bother Hector about it too much because he could tell that his uncle really was conflicted about it. He wanted to talk to Varian about it, but that would go against Quirin's wishes, and then the brothers would fight and Hector always got so upset when one of his siblings was mad at him. Varian didn't want to put him in that position.
Talking to Adira didn't give him any clear answers. She usually dismissed his questions or distracted him until he forgot what he even wanted to ask. One day she looked around and, after making sure that they were alone, knelt to be closer to his height as she spoke quietly to him.
"Sometimes people do bad things to protect those they care about." Adira said. "And I know you don't understand right now, and I hope you'll forgive me for saying that I hope you never find yourself in a situation when you understand what I'm talking about." She then brushed his bangs away from his face, her fingers lingering around the streak in his hair. She then walked off, and Varian was left feeling more lost than before.
Varian would rather get answers directly. He wanted his family to trust him. But if they weren't going to talk to him, then he'd find the answers on his own.
Varian focused most of his time on his alchemy experiments or inventions, but when he hit a mental block or when his dad grounded him from alchemy for a week he would investigate the secret that he knew his family was hiding. He had a whole notebook that he hid under his bed that was full of scrambled thoughts and theories. It was probably nonsense and unrelated to what he was trying to figure out, but he would never get to the bottom of things if he didn't do some digging.
Varian didn't have a lot, but he felt like he at least had something. He just needed a few more pieces and everything would come together. There were just a handful of clues that he was confident were relevant, but it was better than nothing.
First, either his dad or Adira were responsible for this secret. Hector didn't seem to like it at all, but he went along with it. The fact that Hector didn't like keeping it a secret meant that it was a big deal, because if it was just a meaningless secret that didn't affect him in any way he wouldn't care about it at all.
Second, it had something to do with the moon. That one had taken Varian time to figure out. When he started really investigating what was going on he realized that his family was more tense during the full moon. They more frequently fought with each other.
Varian knew that their old home had something to do with the moon. He'd asked Hector if their people's hormones followed the cycles of the moon. Hector had just laughed at him. So the moon wasn't literally making them more irritable, which meant that the moon probably just brought to the forefront of all of their minds the secret that they were keeping.
His third and fourth clues were things that he wasn't as sure about, but he had a feeling about them. The third point was that it had something to do with these weird small blacks that he saw around town sometimes. They were small and not a lot to worry about. He wouldn't think twice about them, but his family got so weird about them. Adira got a little defensive, Quirin got frustrated and worried, even though they were literally just harmless pebbles. Even Hector seemed a little nervous when they found some new rocks, though he would smile and say that Varian didn't need to worry about them.
It felt significant, but Varian couldn't even begin to figure out how it fit in with everything else, so he focused more on the others. His fourth clue was something that was more important than the others, but not confirmable, because he'd only noticed it a few times, but he didn't want to see more examples of this particular clue.
Every once and a while Hector would get a little depressed. He was always just a little sad and distant, having a hard time relating to the world around him. Sometimes he would have a few hours, or days, or even weeks where it all got even worse. Hector would switch between seeming unable to leave the house, to not being able to stand being confined in the walls at all.
Hector would go out camping for days, only coming back because Adira hunted him down and dragged him back home. Hector wouldn't really talk on those days. It got so bad that Quirin would try to get Hector talk about his time at the Great Tree. But Hector wouldn't talk. He wouldn't do anything.
When Hector got like this Quirin and Adira would talk to each other about whatever the big family secret was. They clearly disagreed with each other, but they weren't really fighting. They were both too worried to be at each other's throat.
They talked so much about it that Varian had very nearly overheard what was going on. It was like how they got during the full moon, except less angry and more concerned. It almost made Varian wonder if this whole thing was happening because of Hector's depression, but that didn't really make a lot of sense.
This fourth clue was probably his best bet to figure out what was going on, but it wasn't the way that Varian wanted to do things. He didn't want his uncle to be depressed for anything, even if it meant getting answers.
So Varian was left in his frustration to try to solve the mystery that was his family. He really wasn't getting anywhere and he thought about at least admitting that there was the possibility that he wouldn't be able to figure things out.
One night Varian woke up, not knowing what had woken him. He rubbed his eyes, feeling wide awake even though it was so dark outside. It was probably incredibly early in the morning. He tried to fall asleep for a few more minutes before he groaned and pushed himself out of bed. He had a sleeping serum in his lab. It would be helpful.
Varian made his way downstairs, but paused in his steps when he heard a discussion going on. Everybody else was awake. Varian knew his dad was an early riser, but this was extreme even for him. The voices were tense and Varian crept closer to try to listen in.
"Quirin, I know you don't want him to know-" Hector started.
"We're not having this discussion." Quirin said.
"We have to." Hector said tensely. "I've respected your wishes for years. Now I just need you to listen to me for five minutes."
"We're not telling Varian about the moonstone." Quirin said tensely. Varian drew closer to the wall, hiding in the shadows. He was right. His dad was hiding something from him. Something important.
"He has a right to know." Hector said.
"I said no." Quirin said in that tone of his that always let Varian know that it was time to give up. Hector had no such reservations.
"It's a full moon tomorrow." Hector said. "And it's Varian's birthday. He'll be fourteen. You know that's the first step into adulthood in the Dark Kingdom."
"We're not in the Dark Kingdom." Quirin said. "And I'm not having this discussion with you."
"Quirin-" Hector tried to say.
"No." Quirin said. Hector shouted in frustration and there was a thumping sound that made Varian flinch. It sounded like Hector had hit the wall. Varian heard his uncle storm off. Quirin groaned in exhaustion, sounding drained of all his frustration and intensity.
Varian just stood there for a few minutes, feeling tense and uncomfortable the way he always had when his family fought. He needed to go back to sleep and pretend that this fight had never happened. He knew that Quirin and Hector would do just that in the morning. If he hadn't overheard the fight he wouldn't even know that anything had happened.
He was about to head back to his room when he heard his dad raise his voice again. He actually shouted. Varian was startled and frozen where he stood. His dad didn't yell.
"Adira!" Quirin shouted. Varian hadn't thought his aunt was nearby, but she came when she was called. Varian wouldn't be surprised if she had heard the whole fight.
"Brother." Adira said calmly.
"No, do not do that." Quirin said. "You have put me in an impossible situation, and I can't do it anymore."
"Quirin, please, just a little longer." Adira said. Varian bit his lip when his dad let out a short, harsh laugh that sounded much more like what Hector would do.
"You say that as though you have an ending in mind." Quirin said. "If you had things your way, you would let this lie go with you to your grave. Admit it. You have no intention of telling him."
"What do you expect me to do?" Adira asked. "If he knew the truth…he's just going to get hurt."
"You can't tell me he's not hurting now." Quirin said. "This secret, this lie, it's going to destroy him, and I can't have any part in it. Not anymore."
"You can't tell him." Adira said sharply.
"I won't, just because I expect you to do it." Quirin said. "This is your mess. It's your responsibility. But if he doesn't know in six months, I'll tell him myself."
"You wouldn't." Adira said.
"Do not test me." Quirin nearly growled. Varian shuddered. He didn't often hear his dad use his overprotective voice. It was scary to hear him use it against Adira. "I won't sit back and watch as you tear our family apart."
"Me?!" Adira sounded angry and defensive. "You're the one that finds fault in everything that Hector does. You're the one who pushes Varian away because you can't stand to let yourself grieve. I asked for your help. I didn't force you to keep all these secrets. You've been doing that yourself."
Varian bit his lip and finally forced himself to go back upstairs. He didn't want to hear anymore. It was the closest he got to getting answers, and he almost didn't want to know. He climbed back into bed and threw his blankets back over himself, but he still wasn't tired. How was he supposed to sleep now? His family was fighting. They were keeping secrets from him, and blaming each other for it.
Quirin was making Hector keep quiet, but it sounded like Adira was the one who had convinced Quirin to do so. Varian just wished he knew why. And why had his dad listened to Adira in the first place? Varian had heard them fight before, and it always sounded like they resolved nothing. How could she have persuaded him of anything? And what was so important that it was worth all this fighting.
Varian needed to get to the bottom of this. If Adira didn't want to talk, and Quirin was reluctant to drag him into anything, then Varian would just have to try to get answers out of his uncle. But he really didn't want to.
Whenever Varian tried to talk to Hector about things that were connected to this secret he would shut down and get upset. He knew that Hector wanted to talk to him, but he didn't want to go against Quirin's wishes. Hector and Quirin fought enough as it was.
Varian didn't want to put his uncle in that position, but he needed to know the truth. He needed to know what was going on before things got worse.