Ecthelion
Ecthelion looked around for Kiera, and he saw she was speaking with Tuor. He ended his conversation with Penlod and made his way over to them. Maeglin, he saw, was nowhere in sight, for which he was glad. When he approached them, Kiera's eyes lit up and she stopped speaking to Tuor.
Before he could get a word out, she asked, "would you like to dance."
He couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face as he replied, "I have waited all day to dance with you."
Tuor watched them with a smile on his face before he left them to go over to Idril. Ecthelion offered his arm to her which she took easily and then he led them to the dance floor. He started his favorite dance and began to swing her around the room. After a few songs, he asked, "did Maeglin treat you well today?"
Kiera smiled as she said, "he was fine. I actually enjoy his company. He makes things interesting. The plains were beautiful as well and I am glad I got to see them."
Her being happy, made him happy, but there was something he needed to tell her. Part of him didn't want to be that person who ruined her happiness, but he knew if the roles were reversed, he would want to know. Still, he hesitated before he asked, "yes, but was Maeglin treating you well? During the dinner and after in the entrance hall."
Kiera blushed and looked a bit uncomfortable with his question. Ecthelion just wanted to be sure that the prince hadn't done anything that Kiera didn't want him to.
"No, Maeglin was fine. He enjoyed embarrassing me but wasn't that bad. If Maeglin had done something I didn't want him to do, I would have said something."
Ecthelion stopped their dance then and pulled her off the floor and into a corner away from everyone. Kiera pressed herself against the wall as he turned his back towards the hall so people couldn't hear what he was about to say. It hurt to swallow as he told her, "it is none of my business, but you are my friend, and I do not want to see you hurt. I am not sure how much you know, but there is a rumor that Maeglin is in love with Idril. I wish for you to find happiness and love, but I fear it will not be with Maeglin. If you want to spend a night with him or more, that is alright, but do not get attached. I would hate to see you love someone who would not love you in return."
He expected to her say something, but he was blown away when she moved forward and barreled into him for a hug. As she pressed closer to him, he wrapped his arms around her easily as she buried her face into his chest. She was warm and soft and he let out a sigh at being close to her once more.
"I know about Maeglin. Cele told me the rumor a while ago. I am not expecting anything besides friendship with him. He told me today that he is in love with someone who will never love him back. If I do spend a night with him again, it will only be for some fun and a one-time thing. I know you are just looking out for me, and I am grateful you are my friend."
He could breathe easily now, knowing that she knew about Maeglin. A small part of him was relieved at her words and the warm feeling in his stomach returned. He wanted to hug her for the rest of the evening and continue to be enveloped by the feeling. Yet, the dark thoughts from earlier tore through him and he choked up. "Can we speak privately in my room?"
Kiera nodded into his chest and he felt the feelings overwhelm him. He needed to get away and speak to someone and he felt comfortable in her presence. Besides that, Ecthelion trusted her and he knew she would understand. Breaking free from the hug, he took her hand in his and pulled her along the edge of the hall to the stairs. Kiera remained quiet by his side, which helped him as he was barely holding on as they walked.
When they reached the landing, he turned toward his bedroom. Kiera followed him without comment and he breathed out a sigh of relief. He led her into his room and closed the door behind them. She took a seat on the couch as he moved to light a fire. Throwing a few logs on, he poked at the flames to make them grow and warm up the room.
Once the fire was burning, he took a seat next to Kiera on the couch but played with his hands awkwardly as he had no idea how to start. Thankfully, she must have understood somewhat as her hand came to rest on his back as she looked at him with sad eyes.
"Are you okay?" She asked. "Is it the wedding today, or something else?"
The tears welled up in his eyes, but he couldn't stop them. All day he had been on the brink of breaking down, but he pushed through the feelings, until now. His throat tightened as he choked down the sobs. "I am sorry. It has been a difficult day and I invited you in the hopes that you would distract me from my feelings."
His words came out garbled and strained, but Kiera just moved closer to him and wrapped herself around him. The warmth helped, as she rested her head against his shoulder. His hands moved on instinct and pulled her closer to him. It was much too close for people not in a courtship, but he found that he didn't care in the slightest. He let himself be swept away in her comforting embrace.
"I am so sorry," he choked out. "But I needed to speak to someone. I was barely hanging on as we danced. I told Glorfindel not to come tonight, as I thought I could do it, but I cannot."
"Don't apologize. Friends are there for each other. Do you want to tell me about it, or do you just want some comfort?"
"Both," he said softly as the small tears trickled down his cheeks. Ecthelion felt at ease in her presence and safe. She did not speak, but let him cry as she made small circles across his back. After a little while, he was calm and the dark thoughts did not plague his mind anymore. He didn't want her to leave, but his body needed rest.
"Would you lie with me on the bed? I do not wish to be alone, and I could use a friend."
Kiera squeezed his shoulders softly as she replied, "of course."
Without a word, he stood and pulled her along with him to his bed. He sat down on the edge to pull off his shoes as Kiera did the same. Then, he pulled back the covers and climbed in. When he found a comfortable spot, he felt his face flush as he patted the spot beside him for Kiera. He gulped nervously as she slid into bed with him. His eyes were transfixed on the ceiling until he felt the soft touch of her hand against his face.
He turned his head and their eyes met. So many unspoken words passed between them at that moment. His heart thumped against his chest and he found his words caught in his throat. There was so much he wanted to say to her but now was not the right time. Instead, he coughed and rolled over onto his side so he was facing her in bed. He laid his head against the pillow next to her and smiled.
"Do you want to talk about it? It helps to talk things through and I am a good listener."
Ecthelion closed his eyes and let himself sink into the bed to relax. After a few deep breaths, he said, "this is the first wedding I have been to since my courtship ended. I have avoided all the weddings, but this is the first one with a member of my own house. I no longer love Amara, but I had no idea how the feelings and thoughts would rush back to me today. I was hoping with you there, the night would be fine. I enjoy all of our time together, and I thought your presence would distract me. It was too much for me today."
Kiera was quiet for a moment until she surprised him with a question. "Tell me about your courtship."
He opened his eyes in surprise, "why?"
"It helps to talk about it. I don't know much except the basics, but it is obviously still affecting you. If we talk about it, maybe we can figure out where the feelings are coming from."
He looked at her with unease, "are you sure? I do not wish to spill all my problems onto you. I have spoken with Glorfindel about it, but he is not the most understanding. I would have struggled greatly without his help, and I am happy to have him as a friend. He just does not like to discuss my courtship anymore."
Kiera smiled as she reached out and cupped his cheek with her hand. In a soft voice, she replied, "I want to hear it. Tell me about your courtship, from the beginning."
Ecthelion nodded, but before he began, he moved to rest on his back. It didn't take Kiera long before she was pressed up against his side. His hand wrapped around her to pull her closer as his fingers danced on their own across her back.
"It was many years ago. I told you before about the kin slaying and my parents. When I came to Middle Earth, I was overcome with grief and focused solely on training. After this city was finished, and we all got settled here, I wanted to try to find a wife. I went to every festival and I spoke with everyone I could. I wanted people to know that I was a friendly lord and to make them feel comfortable in my presence. It was at one of the summer festivals when I first met her."
"Amara approached me, much like you did, and asked if I wanted to dance. Even then, people would prefer to ask Glorfindel, but I still got to dance my fair share. We danced a few dances, we started talking to get to know one another. We danced together all night and I did not want to leave. She was beautiful, kind, and very funny. She made me laugh and I enjoyed myself immensely. Plus, she was interested in getting to know me more as a person."
"After, I spent as much time with her as I could. It was difficult in the beginning as I was getting my house started, and there was a lot to do in those days. She was understanding about it, so we took it slow. Almost too slow, if I am honest."
He hesitated but then made up his mind. Kiera would not judge him and he knew she would understand. "I have not been with many women. A handful in Valinor during the parties, but nothing longer than a night. I never spent any time with anyone while we lived in Nevrast, and I was nervous. So incredibly nervous and I did not want to mess anything up. I thought she was amazing, and everything that I was looking for in a partner. We spent ten years getting to know one another and taking things slow."
Kiera looked at him with deep surprise which caused him to chuckle. "Yes, ten years. Some elves court for over 100, but I am not sure why. After the first few years, I knew I wanted to marry her, but there was too much going on. The city was not finished yet, the houses still were being built up, and soldiers and city guards were to be trained. The first 100 years here were hectic and crazy. I told her everything and she was kind and understanding about it. Looking back now, I see now that she probably was glad for the longer period of time. It gave her time for her plan to work."
She interrupted him, "don't beat yourself up over things you didn't realize before. We all look back on things and see what we could have done differently or things we didn't notice before. Self-reflection is good for growing as a person, but my grandmother used to say it is also a slippery slope. You want to look back and not judge yourself too harshly for the things you did not see. You lived in the moment and don't ever beat yourself up for that."
He nodded and wiped a few stray tears. Before he could continue his story, he choked up again, but Kiera just snuggled into him closer. "Don't hold in the tears. Cry if you need to. We all need a good cry every once in a while."
Sighing softly, he let the tears run down his cheeks. It was useless to fight them and he felt better after he cried. It took a little while for him to be able to speak again, but when he did, he turned onto his side again. Kiera looked at him with drowsy eyes, but he just pulled her against him and buried his head into her hair. His arms wrapped around her waist as she moved against him to find a comfortable spot.
"I thought I missed her," he said softly. "I kept beating myself up about it because I know I should not. It has been years since my failed courtship, and it still affects me."
"Keep talking, tell me what you miss."
"This," he finally admitted. "I miss this. I miss being close to someone. I miss sharing moments and having someone by my side. I miss the comfort and support of another. And in all honesty, I miss having someone to love."
"Oh Ecthelion," Kiera cried softly. "We all miss that. You are not alone in your feelings."
He nodded into her hair as he heard her choke up. His heart beat rapidly in his chest as he finally felt like someone understood him. Really understood him and everything he was going through. While Glorfindel and his friends comforted him and helped him, none of them really understood the pain and sadness. Kiera had lived through a similar experience and he knew that if anyone could understand him, it was her.
Neither of them spoke as they just held on tightly to the other. Ecthelion thought she had fallen asleep until she spoke to him. "Tell me what happened?" She asked him in a sleepy voice.
"I asked her to marry me. Her response and look on her face nearly shattered my heart. She was hesitant and it was not the response I expected. I loved her though and would do anything for her, so I told her we could take however long she wanted. Finally, she agreed, but a small part of me knew then that she was not the right person for me. Yet, I ignored it as I was so in love."
"The next year, Maeglin and his mother came, followed by his father. The city was shaken to the core by what happened, and Amara said it affected her deeply. I was supportive and told her to take all the time that she required. I saw how she began to pull away from me, and we had many arguments over it. She said that she was missing out on getting to know people by being with me. I never wanted her to feel that way and I pushed her to spend time getting to know other people, including Glorfindel."
"Neither one of us knew at the time, and I thought she wanted to get to know my best friend more. They had hardly spoken and I was partly to blame for that as we spent a lot of time alone and away from others. I did not want our courtship to be gossiped about around the city and I wanted a more private life. She took that and twisted it against me to get what she wanted. I felt so awful about not allowing her the opportunities to meet new people, that I encouraged her to get to know Glorfindel."
"She still spent time with me, but she spent most of her time with him and with the ladies of the court. It never crossed my mind that she would have feelings for him. She never gave him the time of day before and she almost made it seem like in the beginning that she disliked Glorfindel. I still did not know when she developed feelings for him or if she had feelings for him all along."
"Then one day, Glorfindel barged into my study in a rage, dragging Amara with him. I had never seen him so angry and broken. He screamed at her, but she refused to say anything. I got into a huge fight with him and escorted Amara out of my study. Once she was gone, Glorfindel broke down and told me everything. My heart shattered as he spoke. First, because of what he was telling me, but then because he did not think I would believe him. Glorfindel is my best friend, I trust him with my life, but what he was telling me was so heartbreaking that I did not want to believe it."
"I sent him away and spent a few hours crying and thinking about what to do. I called for Amara to be brought, and I knew the moment she walked into my study, that it was true. Gone was the woman I had fallen in love with. She became cruel, vindictive, and told me it was her plan all along. That she never loved me and was just using me to get to Glorfindel. Amara told me a lot of horrible things that day, and the words still haunt me. I ended our courtship that day."
He needed a moment, so he stopped talking and pressed a few soft kisses against her hair. Some tears landed on her head, but she just hugged him tighter and he squeezed her waist back in response.
"What happened after," Kiera asked.
He sighed deeply, "I left the city for a while. I needed some space and time away, so I trained guards and soldiers at the gates. I was there for about five years while Glorfindel managed my house. When I came back, everything was different. Some people looked at me with pity, while most of the elleths ran away in fear. I nearly broke me again to see the looks of fear and disgust on their faces directed at me. I had no idea what was happening until Glorfindel told me. Amara had been spreading vicious rumors about why our courtship failed. Some of them were heinous lies that some of the city still believe to be true. They were vile, and I would never do those things to a woman. Yet, the damage had been done and I was not in the city to defend myself. Even after the rumors stopped, people still kept their distance."
"It has taken years, and it has been a long road, but thankfully most of the city knows what happened now. I thought some women would come around in time and that maybe I could love again. Unfortunately, I found out Amara was also threatening elleths to stay away from me. Everything I enjoyed, she was trying to ruin or did ruin. I was miserable for years until the war shook me out of my misery. It gave me something to focus on, and I threw everything I had into training and preparation. The war was terrible, and it took me many years to overcome the nightmares and grief, but it was what I needed at the time. I started to feel better a few years ago, but my heart still longs to find love."
He smiled even though she couldn't see it. "You surprised me most when you came to the city. You spoke to me, yet I was nervous you would hear the rumors and believe them. I was on edge for those first few days, waiting for you to run away from me. Then, to my surprise, you asked me to dance at the festival. It had been so long since anyone had danced with me, and it was the happiest I have felt in a long time."
Kiera was silent and he thought she might have fallen asleep until she spoke.
"You deserve love and happiness. You have been nothing but kind to me and have made me happy as well. Even though I struggle at times with the thought of being in a strange world without my friends and family, I am glad to have met you. You are a good friend and I want you to find love someday."
Ecthelion didn't know what to say as he felt the same for her. Kiera had walked into his life when he least expected it, but he cherished every moment they had spent together. His tongue was tied in knots as he tried to think up the best words to say to her.
"I would love to keep talking, but I am falling asleep."
"Sleep," he said softly. "I will be here when you wake."
She snuggled closer to him, and he reached to pull the covers further up over them. He tucked the covers around them as best as he could, but Kiera was already fast asleep when he pulled back just enough to give her a quick kiss on her forehead. He rested his head against the pillow on top of hers and was tired enough to slip into a deep slumber instantly.
—-
He was still resting when he felt someone rip the covers off them. Kiera shivered in bed and he pulled her closer instantly as he slowly woke himself up. The sun was already creeping into the windows, but he felt well-rested as his eyes came into focus.
Glorfindel was standing at the end of the bed with the covers balled up in his hands. Ecthelion was too comfortable and warm to care, so he turned his head back to look at Kiera. She looked so peaceful as she slept, but he felt the burning gaze of Glorfindel on them.
"Is there something you wish to tell me?"
Ecthelion rolled his eyes as he didn't want to deal with his friend this early in the morning. Kiera blinked awake and noticed who was standing at the end of his bed.
"Ignore him," Ecthelion told her softly. "He will go away eventually."
She laughed softly and Ecthelion was mesmerized by the sight. Her cheeks were flush from being so close and the warmth. Her eyes shone in the morning light and crinkled in the corners as she laughed. Her hair was a frizzy mess, but he found that he liked the wild strands as they stuck out around her head. He couldn't look away as he wanted to remember this moment for the rest of his life.
Glorfindel ruined it as he said, "I can stand here all day and wait."
Ecthelion glanced at his friend and shot him a look. "Give us back the covers and go away. Come back later when the rest of the city gets up."
Glorfindel burst out in a rage, "You cannot do this to yourself. You cannot let her lead you on if nothing is going to come from it. I am sorry, Kiera. I think you are wonderful friend, but you cannot lead Ecthelion on like this. Even if love grows between you, you are mortal, he is an elf. It will never work."
All the blood drained from his face in an instant as he sat up in bed. "So what?" He cried out passionately, "She is mortal, I do not care. If we end up together, then I will be happy. I will love her until my dying breath."
The rage had taken over his friend and Glorfindel screamed out. "NO, you won't be. She is going to die someday and leave you. What then? You go to Mandos's halls for eternity. Never to be re-embodied because the love of your life is gone? You cannot even have a family with her because the children will be mortal. You will watch your children grow old and die. That is if you even manage to stay after your wife passes. You cannot love her. Loving her will be the death of you."