F TROOP

Souvenirs, Souvenirs, Who's Got the Souvenirs?

Chapter 1

Letter from Washington

At the moment, things were tranquil in the large compound of Fort Courage. High above it, the red, white, and blue flag fluttered in the light breeze. Up in the lookout tower, a trooper stood on sentry duty with a rifle cradled in his arms, leaning against a corner support as he faced the land outside. It was a lovely view, rolling hills and prairie and trees, and he might have enjoyed it, except for the fact that his eyes were closed. A soft snore coming from under the lowered brim of his hat. All of a sudden, the silence was broken by a shrieking scream. The lookout stirred a moment, and the snoring continued undisturbed.

Down below in the compound, a horse stood fully saddled and bridled. His ears were drooped and his eyes almost closed as he stood completely relaxed, practically asleep too. And on the ground just in front of the riderless mount, the uniformed figure of a man lay sprawled on the ground. A trooper with a bugle slung across his shoulder raced across the compound toward them. He dropped to the side of the fallen man with corporal stripes on his sleeves.

"Corporal! Can ya' hear me!"

A loud moan sounded in reply.

"Please, Agarn! Say somethin'!"

"Dobbs," the corporal gasped in a pained whisper. "I can't move."

Privet Dobbs, the company bugler, sat back on his heels and hollered, "Quick! The corporal's been thrown off his horse! His back's broken! Get the stretcher!"

Two of the troopers who were standing nearby came rushing up, each holding the end of a medical stretcher. But they rushed so quickly their feet stumbled as they tried to stop and ended up crashing to the ground. The stretcher broke in half with a loud snap. The two men began picking up the pieces in an attempt to fix it.

The bugler waved a hand at it. "Never mind that now! Get the bandages! Something to support his back! Quick!"

More troopers came running up with armfuls of rolled bandages and a slab of wood. Laying the board on the ground, they gathered around the groaning corporal. . Two or more men grabbed onto each spread-out arm and leg and, giving a heave, they hoisted him off the ground.

Corporal Agarn let out a yowl, feeling as though he were being drawn and quartered. "Hey! Watch it!"

The yap ended with a sharp grunt when he was less than daintily plopped on top of the board. The next thing he knew, bandages were everywhere. Vigorously, the troopers began to lash him to the wood and wrap just about everything else in sight.

"Hey, now wait a min–!" the corporal's words were muffled as a bandage was hurriedly wrapped around his face. He was soon being swaddled in rolls of long white cloth. Within seconds the corporal's middle was tied to the board and both arms and legs were nearly covered with loose strands everywhere, somewhat resembling a mummy caught in a spider web. Still the men kept going at a frenzied clumsy pace. He began to thrash wildly about.

"Hold still, Agarn!" Dobbs said, struggling to hold onto a flapping arm as he tried to wrap it. "You shouldn't be tryin' to move with a broken back nohow."

Franticly, Agarn managed to get a hand up and rip the wrapping away from his mouth. "HELP! HELP! THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!"

"Hold it! HOOOOOLD IT!" a voice suddenly bellowed over the muddle.

The troopers quickly moved back from the squirming corporal as a tall, large framed man with sergeant stripes stepped forward from where he'd been observing to the side. Sergeant Morgan O'Rourke stopped in the middle of the group with hands on his hips, craggy face observing the bound corporal, then glared at the circle of men.

"Just what do you think it is we're trying to do here?" He barked. "We're supposed to be practicing medical field assistance – not finding a new method of execution to replace the firing squad!"

"I'd rather face the firing squad!" Agarn wailed from his tangle.

O'Rourke ignored as he continued. "Now the captain will probably be out here in a little while and what am I 'spose to tell him? So far you've failed every single test!"

"Sorry, Sarge. We're tryin' our best," a trooper said.

"Well, you're just going to have ta' try a little bit harder. And slow down when you're tying the bandages, will ya'? This isn't a race! It's a good thing this is just pretend because if these were real cases, we'd had to of planned six funerals by now! And Agarn would've been the seventh!"

"Don't worry, Sarge," trooper Duffy said. "We'll get it right next time."

"Well, you'd better! And Vanderbilt, try and watch what you're doing! The last three times you started bandaging up your own feet!"

"I'm sorry, Sarge," Vanderbilt said as he squinted at the sergeant. "But it's hard for me to do anything without my glasses."

"Sarge!" Agarn wheezed. "It's getting awfully cramped down here!"

O'Rourke waggled a thumb towards the trapped corporal. "All right you nursemaids, unwrap him before he turns blue."

The men quickly huddled back around and began to tear the strips away. As they loosened from around his chest, Agarn gasped in exultation. "Air! Wonderful air! My lung were starved for it!"

"Gee, this is just like opening a Christmas present," Dobbs remarked cheekily. "Except that if I'd found you under my tree, I think I'd just leave you wrapped up and give you to someone else."

Agarn glared at him with one eye, strips still covering his face. "If my hands were free, I'd give you a real medical challenge to cure, Dobbs. A fat lip!"

O'Rourke rolled his eyes and watched the corporal began to slowly reappear, first his arms and legs, then his chest. The sergeant heard footsteps behind him and turned to see a slight figure in an officers uniform approaching. It was Captain Wilton Parmenter, the commanding officer of F Troop. He was trying to buckle on his belt but failing at it, the clip missing with each attempt. The tip of his saber sheath trailed in the dirt after him as Parmenter came up.

O'Rourke straightened with a salute. "Sir."

Parmenter tried again and the clip held. He quickly returned the salute. "At ease, sergeant. I just came out to see how the medical drills are going. How are they doing with the practice scenarios?"

"Well, we've had eighteen injuries so far," O'Rourke answered.

"Oh good," Parmenter looked impressed. "Did the men know how to correctly treat them all?"

"No, sir. Those are what the men caused while trying to cure the patients."

"What?"

O'Rourke nodded. "Afraid so. They mean well, but, well sir, I think we're going to have to face the fact that they're not going to be doctors."

The captain's face turned a bit downcast. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope they haven't been too serious."

"Well, so far the worst injuries we've had were three sprained fingers, two twisted ankle, a nose bleed, and a broken watch."

"A broken watch?"

"Yes, sir. And also one of 'em accidently broke Vanderbilt glasses."

"Ohhh," Parmenter sighed sympathetically. "I'll make sure he gets a new pair right away."

Click. Thump.

Parmenter looked around in confusion. "Did you hear that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, what was it?"

O'Rourke scratched a cheek. "Well, sir, uh…" He pointed down to the ground.

Parmenter looked and saw his belt and saber laying around his own feet. The captain groaned as he picked them up. "I think there's something wrong with this buckle."

O'Rourke stepped forward and gestured. "If you will permit me, sir."

"Well, you can try, but I think I'll just have to get a new one."

O'Rourke took the belt and put it around the captain's waist. Then a quick movement of his wrists and the buckle clicked and stayed in place. He backed off. "There you are, sir."

Parmenter's face lit up. "Oh! Thank you, sergeant. How'd you do that?"

"No trick to it, sir. It's just all in the wrist."

"Oh, really? I'll have to practice that."

Just then Privet Dobbs came limping up.

"Dobbs!" Parmenter exclaimed with concern. "What happened to your leg?"

"The fellas tried to cure me of a broken arm and ended up twistin' my ankle a bit."

"Well, I hope it gets better soon."

"Thank ya', sir. I'm sure it'll be alright in a day or two." Dobbs turned to the sergeant. "We've got Corporal Agarn untied now, Sarge. It's your turn to be the next victim."

"Do you have to put it like that?" O'Rourke muttered. Then louder, "Haven't you been keepin' track? It's not my turn yet. Duffy's next."

Dobbs looked slightly offended. "Shucks, Sarge. I have been keepin' track, and real careful. I've made sure that every one of 'em's had a fair turn."

"Good. Then you know that Duffy's turn is next."

"But golly, Sarge, we've all had a turn three times already and it still ain't your turn yet."

"Dobbs!"

"Yeah, I got it, Sarge. Duffy," Dobbs mumbled softly. He limped off, passing Corporal Randolph Agarn's short, slightly dumpy, figure on the way.

The corporal stepped up beside O'Rourke, putting his hat back on. "Wish I'd thought'a that idea," he muttered just loud enough for the sergeant to hear, rubbing his ribs with one hand and his neck with the other.

"Are you alright, corporal?" Parmenter asked.

Agarn looked up. "Only if you call getting a broken neck and crushed ribs alright."

Parmenter tried to be cheerful. "Well, you two just keep the men at it. I'm sure they'll get better with practice."

"Begging the captain's pardon, but if we keep them practicing, there won't be anybody left to practice on," Agarn said.

"Well, maybe I could give you a hand if you're getting short of victims."

"I wouldn't do that, captain," Agarn quickly said.

"Why not? I wouldn't mind helping out."

"We couldn't risk losing you, sir." Agarn's brows went up. "Believe me, I know what they're capable of. I'm telling you, it's murder out there."

"I see what you mean," the captain agreed as he looked over at a huddle of troopers nursing their bruises.

"Wilton!" a female voice called out.

The three saw a trim blond girl in fringed buckskin trousers and jacket walking toward them. It was Wrangler Jane, owner of the town's trading post and also the mail mistress.

"Howdy Wilton," Jane said brightly as she stepped up beside him.

"Oh, hi Jane," Parmenter returned her smile.

Jane looked at the limping and slightly battered troopers, perplexed. "What's goin' on?"

"We're just having a few practice drills on medical treatment while in the field. If we were out on maneuvers and somebody got injured then we should know how to handle such emergencies."

"I think you've got a few emergencies right here," Jane said as two men went by. One held a cloth over his nose and the other had an arm in an improvised sling made up of two neckerchiefs. Jane then turned to the captain. "I got a letter here for ya'. Just came in the mornin' mail." She handed him an official looking envelope.

Parmenter took it. "Oh, thank you, Jane. I'll take it to my office and read it." He turned to O'Rourke and started to salute. "Tell the troop that'll be all for a while. Actually, we'd better make it 'all for today'." He started to salute again then added, "Oh, also you might want to tell them to read over those medical manuals I got them before we try again."

"Good thinking, sir. I'll tell them," O'Rourke replied.

Parmenter finally finished his salute and Jane slipped her arm around the captain's with a squeeze. "C'mon, Wilton, I'll walk you to your office. And then maybe we could go on up to Kissin' Rock for a nice picnic."

The color in Parmenter's cheeks deepened. He glanced around as he lowered his voice, "Janie, I've told you – not in front of the men."

"We don't mind, captain. The men are too busy wrapping to hear anyhow," Agarn piped up, then wondered why O'Rourke elbowed his ribs.

"You may dismiss the men now, sergeant," Parmenter quickly said and he and Jane walked off.

O'Rourke and Agarn started back to the troopers. They were huddled on the ground with bandages flying.

"They're at it again, Sarge," Agarn sighed.

"Yeah. Well, let's save the poor devil before they smother him to death."

Agarn nodded. "I know how that feels."

They walked up and O'Rourke began peeling troopers off the pile one by one. "All right! That's enough! Let him up!"

Soon Privet Duffy emerged on the ground, arms stiff as boards wrapped in five inches of bandages. He struggled to a sitting position, arms straight out on either side.

"I think we made it just in time," Agarn observed.

"Hey Sarge!" Duffy rasped though his moustache. "They've got these bandages wrapped tighter than a corset! My arms are starting to go numb!"

"All right nursemaids!" O'Rourke bellowed to the group. "The captain says that will be all for today! Unwrap Duffy and then everybody back to the barracks! Take care of yourselves if you have too and start reading the medical manuals that the captain was nice enough to give you! And those of you who can read, help those who can't! Dismissed!"

There was a ripple of acknowledgments and the troopers began to free their captive as Duffy bawled, "I was 'spose to have a broken leg!"

O'Rourke shook his head with a groan. He slapped Agarn's chest with the back of his hand as he turned away from the mess. "C'mon, Agarn."

"Where we goin', Sarge?" Agarn asked as he followed.

"To our NCO club to finish taking that inventory of our souvenirs. With how good business has been with O'Rourke Enterprises lately, we still have a lot of extra merchandise that needs to be recorded."

Agarn looked up with a wide smile. "One of my favorite pastimes. Let's go."

"400 war paint kits."

"Check."

"15 boxes of beaded necklaces."

"Check."

"13 boxes arrow shafts."

"Check."

"7 boxes arrowheads."

"Check."

"9 boxes arrow feathers."

"Check. Hey, Sarge, why aren't the arrowheads and feathers on the arrows?"

"It's a new "create your own arrow" feature. Plus, we get three times the profit."

"Now that's what I call usin' your head, Sarge!"

O'Rourke smiled satisfactorily as he scanned the full checklist on his clipboard. "I think this is one of the best seasons O'Rourke Enterprises has ever had. If things keep going the way they have been, we should have all these gone by the end of the month. We'll be able to make a small fortune off just the stuff here. And that's not including the rest up at the Hekawi camp."

Agarn clasped his hands before him. "Sarge, that is music to my ears."

O'Rourke gave a laugh and slapped him on the arm. "Agarn, old buddy, we've got no worries with this kind'a luck."

Agarn turned slightly serious. "Careful, Sarge. When people say things like that, that's normally when luck turns against them."

"Ahh, that's just superstition. Is that the last of the items?"

"Yup. All counted, boxed, and recorded."

"Good. Now let's ride up to the Hekawi camp and see how their makin' out on the extra souvenirs."

Just then there was a knock on the door.

"No one allowed except noncoms!" Agarn yelled at it.

A voice on the other side that sounded like Dobbs said, "I was just comin' ta' tell ya' that the captain wants ta' see you in his office."

O'Rourke answered. "Alright! We'll be there!"

"But what about the Hekawi camp?" Agarn asked anxiously.

"We'll find out what the captain wants and then go."

O'Rourke set the clipboard aside and left with Agarn padding after him. After securely locking the door with the padlock, they started across the compound. As they came up to the captain's quarters, the door opened and Wrangler Jane came out.

"Hi, fellas," was all she said. She only glanced at them, keeping her head slightly down, but it was easy to see the smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes, though she tried to hide them.

They returned the greeting and stepped onto the porch as Jane stepped off. In the lead, O'Rourke opened the door and they entered.

The captain was leaning limply against his desk with his back slightly to them, staring off dreamily, a smile resembling that of Jane's on his lips. He slowly turned when he heard the door open. "Did you need one more for the road, Jane?" he chuckled. He started and all dreaminess vanished when he saw O'Rourke and Agarn standing in the doorway. "Sergeant! Corporal! I thought … I mean … uh …" He turned red.

O'Rourke suppressed a grin. "It's alright, sir. I think we understand."

Parmenter fumbled around to his chair and sat down. "Is there something you needed?" he said awkwardly, trying to act casual.

"You sent for us, sir."

"I did? Oh yes, I did! It's about this letter that I just got."

O'Rourke's head tilted. "Oh? Nothing wrong I hope, sir."

"Oh no. Nothing like that. It's just that I want you and Corporal Agarn to make sure the men get things straightened up around here. We're going to be having have a visitor."

"Who, sir?"

"A …" Parmenter consulted the letter. "… Major Bradley Chase. There's been a lot of Indian uprisings lately and he's coming out here from Washington to see how our friendly relations are still holding up with the Hekawis."

"But haven't they read all your reports on our treaty with them, sir? I mean, why come all the way out here?" O'Rourke asked.

Captain Parmenter nodded as he spread his hands. "I know, I know. I told them that things are completely peaceful out here, but you know how those people in Washington are."

Agarn shook his head. "No, sir, I don't."

"Oh, well, it's just that they never seem to be completely satisfied with a report until they see things for themselves. Always suspicious."

"Don't they trust you, sir?" Agarn looked shocked.

"Well, yes. I'm sure they do."

"Then why are they coming out here?"

"Like I said, they're just never satisfied till they see how things are for themselves."

"Begging the captain's pardon. How do you know?"

"I just know what they're like, that's all."

"Have you ever personally met one?"

"Well … no."

"Then how do you know what they're like?"

"Agarn," O'Rourke muttered through his teeth.

Agarn looked at him. "I'm only trying to find out why they're suspicious of the captain."

Parmenter looked confused. "I didn't say that."

"Yes you did, sir. You said that they're never satisfied with a report and are always suspicious."

"I meant the Hekawis, not me."

"The Hekawis are suspicious of you too?"

"Agarn!" O'Rourke snapped, this time thumping the corporal in the back with a fist.

Agarn looked up innocently. "What, Sarge? All I was doing was asking–" he grew silent when the sergeant gave him a well-aimed glare.

O'Rourke turned back to the captain. "When will this major be arriving, sir?"

Parmenter picked up the letter. "Uh, the 16th. That's day after tomorrow."

"I'll make sure that the men have everything in order even before then. I assure you, he'll find everything ship-shape when he arrives, sir."

"Thank you, sergeant. It says here that he wants to check out the Hekawis in person. Have a tour of their camp and all that. I was thinking that it might be a nice gesture if the Hekawis could maybe give him an induction ceremony into the tribe. That should convince him that they're really friendly."

O'Rourke nodded. "Good thinking, sir."

"So I was thinking it might be a good idea too if you two rode up to the Hekawi camp and let Chief Wild Eagle know that the major will be coming."

"There's nothing I'd like better, sir. But I'm sure Wild Eagle would have no objections I you simply brought the major up when he arrives."."

"I know, but I hate to drop in on tribes unannounced."

"Yes sir. Corporal Agarn and I will ride up there right away."

"Very good, sergeant," Parmenter mumbled, attention back on the letter.

O'Rourke straightened with a tap of his boot heel. "Will there will be anything else, sir?"

"What?" A beat went by before Parmenter looked up. He saw the sergeant and corporal still at attention. "Oh! Yes – I mean no. I mean, that'll be all, Sergeant." He saluted.

The two returned the salute. "Thank you, captain," O'Rourke said and he pulled Agarn with him to the door.

They walked out and a ways off before they paused to talk.

Agarn snickered. "Can you believe it, Sarge? Washington is worried about how our relationship with the Hekawis is."

O'Rourke chuckled. "Yeah. The last I checked we were on pretty good terms. The last time the Hekawis had an uprising was over eight years ago; plus it was in their own camp."

"And it was by their horses!" Agarn covered his mouth, holding back a laugh.

After a good laugh they turned to more serious matters. "With that Major Chase arriving, it looks like we're going to have to change some of our plans."

Agarn frowned. "Like what?"

"Well for one thing, we've got to tell Wild Eagle to stop production on those extra souvenirs till this major leaves, and also to stash what they have someplace else. We can't take a chance on him spotting some of them and blowing our whole deal."

Agarn snapped his fingers. "That's good thinking, Sarge. Don't know why I didn't think a' that."

"That's why I'm a sergeant. C'mon. Let's get on up to the Hekawi camp."

"Right with ya', Sarge."

And there it is! The first chapter to my F Troop Story! What do you think? :-D Be sure to leave a review!