Boruto isn't mine. Hope you enjoy.
"I was in the Underworld training to be a Grim Reaper." I told him
"That's not what I raised you to be, Kalāra..We wanted you to be a celibate and help your mother in her Life duties." He said.
"Well, I NEVER WANTED TO BE A GODDESS OF LIFE! ..I wanted to be a Reaper assassin like you, Dad! ..to avenge my shishou's and mom's clans..and I did..I don't want us to live in fear anymore!" I said.
"(Sigh) you really are my daughter.." He muttered.
"Of course I am! I'm a Botticelli-Pristine! That's who I am fated to be, ya know!" I said.
"Then why were you hugging Konohamaru?" He asked angrily.
"Because..he used to be my husband.." I said.
"You..got married? ..Is it before the massacre or after?" He asked questioningly.
I lazily drew circles with my feet and said "Before the massacre.."
"And you never thought of ASKING OUR PERMISSION?" He roared.
"Grandma knew about it. She was a witness." I said.
"Mama Stelmaria?" Dad/Sasuke said looking at Temari.
Everyone was listening to our conversation and Grandma spoke, "She told me to keep it a secret. I sanctioned it only because it was a contract relationship that said the husband can only touch his wife with his wife's consent."
"Wait..You two never.." He said looking at me and Konohamaru at the same time.
"We two what? " I asked doubtfully.
"You know..did that" Mom said uneasily
"Did what, mom?" I asked.
"God, I forgot your grandfather sealed your sex education. How the hell did she survived the Underworld?" She muttered.
"Can you.. show us if you're still a virgin?" Dad/Sasuke asked.
"Oh sure."
And I ignited the white-silver flames in my palm. Maiden's fury blazed firmly on my hand showing everyone the evidence of my purity.
"..she is pure." Grandpa Armano/ Shikamaru said.
"Of course I am! You thought I'll end up like mum? I need Maiden's fury as a weapon."
"Atleast, I'm glad you got to be with your family Kali.." Mikoto said
"You also got to see yours. So you are my honourary grandmother, huh...do I have to call you..Oba-chan?" I asked with a smirk.
"Call me Oba-chan and I'll put you in a Tsukuyomi of period cramps for all eternity." She said with an extremely dangerous fake smile.
"Come on! What did my uterus do to you?"
"What did it do? Everytime you get periods you call for me.."Mikoto..help Mikoto..it hurts Mikoto" I was tired of it! Your periods is a headache for the dead."
"Hey I never had a mother figure for years to tell all my cramps pain to her. So I used you." I said with a teethy smile.
Sakura saddened when she heard that.
"Well I don't care. I would still put you in Genjutsu."
"Considering the fact that you are the mother of Itachi Uchiha, you would do it." I said with a shiver.
"Anyway, I'm confiscating Deathscythe for the safety of Konoha." Konohamaru said.
"...WHAT?" I exclaimed.
"Of course. It creates trouble between your family..it's better I keep it with me."
(Plays "Blue bird" on the background)
"Where is that noise coming from, dattebane?" Kushina wondered
"It's my scythe..it has a phone connected to it. Give it to me Aka.." I said
"I don't know about that-" Konohamaru said
"Give it to me, you idiot!" I yelled.
And I snatched my scythe from him. I held the scythe's pole on my ear. It was quite funny.
"Hello?...yeah it's me.." I said.
"Why does she talk to her scythe in that way?" Sarada asked.
"No clue. Well looks like you have an older sister. Huh?" Boruto said.
"She is not my older sister. She isn't even an Uchiha." Sarada said stoically.
"She might be your sister in previous life.." Mitsuki said
"..huh?" Sarada asked
"Oh ok. Got it." And I cut the phone.
"What is it, dattebane?" Kushina asked.
"Is everything alright?" Mikoto asked worried about me.
I put a sad face..and smiled.
"I'M GONNA BE A GRANDAUNT!" I said.