I never drove so fast in my life. I made sure I stayed under the speed limit and I learned new ways to get back to Granta House. I had steered the car down another street if a car seemed to be following me. I felt my stomach tightening and my heart slammed in my chest. Memories of the hedge maze moved through my head. I could hear the laughing, hooting and cheering. I could feel the hands reaching out for me. I shook those thoughts out of my head when the gate to Granta House appeared and I steered the car by the gate. I drove the car down the cement drive toward our house and I was relieved to see the half-towers. I parked the car then turned off the engine and I placed my head against the headrest. I had opened the window to let in some cold air to keep me from passing out and I felt my hands shaking.
"Lou!" made me lift my head and I saw Nathan running toward the car. His long coat was flapping behind him as he ran then he stopped near the driver's side door. He opened the door as he helped me out of the car then he closed the door. I held onto him for dear life and he wrapped his arms around me. "Easy. You're ok."
I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. We stood there for a few seconds then he helped me walk to the front doors. I saw Lily standing in the doorway. She moved back as we walked inside then she closed the door. She helped me take my coat off and I closed my eyes. I felt the warmth of the house moving over me and a sense of peace filled my head.
"Louisa," made me open my eyes and I saw Will sitting in the wheelchair. He had a look of deep concern in his eyes, but I didn't move. I was still cold from being outside. Nathan helped me walk to the couch and I sat down. I listened to the soft hum of the wheelchair and Will stopped the wheelchair in front of the couch. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me and I placed my head in my hands.
"Is she back yet?!" Camilla demanded and I lifted my head. I turned to look at her heading toward us from the hallway which connected the main house to our house and she had a look of fury in her eyes. She headed for the couch when she pulled me to my feet then in for a hug and she made soft hushing noises. "Calm yourself. You're safe now."
My tongue still wouldn't work. I was shaking and on the verge of tears.
"Did you call her parents?" Will asked.
"Yes."
"How did you find out what happened?" my voice finally asked with a small squeak.
"The store called," Lily said and Camilla let me go so Lily could hug me. I knew Will wanted a hug as well. I felt warm enough as I let go of Lily and I walked to the wheelchair. I sat on Will's lap as I slid my arms around his shoulders and we touched heads.
"I'm so sorry," I said with a crack in my voice.
"No. You have nothing to be sorry about," Will said.
"He's right," Camilla said as she walked to the wheelchair then she knelt down on her haunches. "I will not have you blaming yourself for this."
"What…? What about the groceries?" I asked.
"The store is going to send them to the house."
"Did you tell them to come to this house?"
"Yes."
"I think Louisa should go get some rest," Will said as he flicked the joystick and he steered the wheelchair to the hallway leading to the master bedroom. We headed down the hallway when I heard Stevie calling for me, but Will didn't stop. Nathan had followed us as he went into the nursery and Will went in the master bedroom.
I wasn't sure how long I slept as I woke up next to Will and he was lying on his right side. He had the support pillow against his back and legs and he was looking at me.
"Hello," he said with a sweet smile and his dimples dented his cheeks. "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes," I said mostly into the pillow. I heard footsteps coming down the hallway and I sat up on my left elbow.
"Oh! You're awake!" Mum said while holding a breakfast tray in her hands. She walked to the bed then she placed the breakfast tray on the floor. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," I said as I sat up and I placed the pillows behind my lower back. "Is Dad here?"
"Yes. He's eating dinner. Treena stayed home with Tommy and Grandad."
"Will you go get Nathan to help Will get onto his back?"
"Of course," Mum said and she placed the breakfast tray on my lap. I looked at the food on the plate, but I wasn't really hungry. I nibbled on some of the food as Nathan walked in the room and he headed for the bed. He helped Will roll onto his back after removing the support pillow then Nathan pushed the button to raise the head of the bed. Will barely nodded his head as Nathan leaned against the night table and Mum and Dad walked in the room.
"Hey there, Lou," Dad said with a wide smile.
"Hey, Dad," I said and I used the other fork to feed Will some of the chicken that was on the plate.
"Your mother told us what happened," Mum said while looking at Will and I wiped his lips.
"The nerve of that bastard," Dad said.
"Bernard," Mum warned and he frowned.
"He is one. Grabbing at our Lou like that."
"His mother told me he had left town."
"Looks like he's back."
"Did the police arrest him?" Will asked after I helped him drink some of the protein shake.
"According to the store manager, he and the woman he was with ran out one of the fire exits. Left their kids behind," Dad explained.
"What happened to the kids?"
"Child Services was called and they took them."
"Your mother says she'll have the groceries delivered to the house from now on," Mum said.
"Does that mean I can't leave the house?" I asked.
"Yes. You can. But only if someone goes with you," Dad said.
"Great," I sighed and Will glanced at me.
"I'm sure it's not forever," Will said.
"But what about going over to your house to make Christmas cookies? Or going to the skating rink? Or Christmas Eve service?"
"You can still do all that," Mum assured me and I ate some of the chicken.
"Fine," I sighed and I took a long drink of tea.
"Ah! No pouty faces! You don't want Father Christmas angry at you, do you?!" Dad teased and I laughed.
"No!" I said as I elongated the O.
We talked while I helped Will eat and he must have noticed I was feeling better because he crossed his eyes to make me laugh. Mum and Dad left a little later and I got up only to find Mum had put Stevie to bed. Lily was taking a shower and Nathan had gone into the master bedroom to do Will's nightly routines. I went into the kitchen for a snack and I leaned against the counter of the kitchen island. I thought about Patrick and a part of me wondered what he wanted to talk about. Sighing, I cleaned up my snack and I placed the dish, glass and silverware in to dishwasher after rinsing them off.
The bedroom was quiet while I snuggled next to Will and I placed my head against his right shoulder. We watched the fairy lights sparkling in the darkness and I could just see Will's profile. He looked angry and I moved my head away.
"I'm not angry at you, Clark," he said in a soft voice.
"You should be. I caused a scene. I don't think I can go back to that store ever again," I said with a sigh.
"I'm sure they don't blame you for what happened."
"I blame me," I said then I carefully moved Will's right arm so I could snuggle closer and place my head on his chest. I listened to him breathing and the gently thrumming of his heart while I looked at the wall and the dim color of the fairy lights blinked on and off. "Tell me if you're having trouble breathing."
"I'm fine," Will's voice grumbled in my ear.
"I keep remembering what he did. Not at the store. I mean when he… When I broke up with him."
"It was time to end things with Marathon Man."
"Yeah. I know," I said with a sigh.
"I knew you'd be nervous. That's why I went with you. I hid just out of sight, but I could see what was going on."
"He was at the track. I remember there was this woman with him. She was one of his running friends. I remember her always hanging around with us when we met with his team. Tall. Lean. Beautiful."
"You're beautiful," he said and I smiled. I sat up then carefully sat on his stomach and I placed my right hand on his chest. I could feel the hair sticking out of the top of his pajamas and he smiled up at me. I used my left hand to move his right hand on top of my hand and he lightly moved his fingers. I moved our hands to rest over his heart and I could feel his chest rising and falling. His heart beating against the palm of my hand. It wasn't too fast or too slow and we just looked at each other.
"Patrick was surprised to see me. He asked me what I was doing there and I told him I was home, visiting my family. He then asked if the rumors were true. If I had found someone else. I was going to tell him the truth when I noticed the woman with him was wearing my grandmother's ring. The one she left me after she died. I demanded to know why she had the ring and she… She… She told me Patrick had given it to her. I told her the ring was mine. She asked Patrick if I was telling the truth. He told her it was mine."
"I thought she was almost going to tear her finger off as she removed the ring and handed it to you."
"She told me he had been seeing her since before I left for university. Before… Before…"
"Before what happened in the hedge maze?"
"Yeah. She said he would have her stay somewhere else when I came over. I asked him if it was true and he said it was."
"So, he was cheating on you before we got together."
"Which is why I don't understand how he was able to get upset when I broke things off with him. It was his chance to be free. Instead… Instead, he went nuts. Screaming. Accusing me of sleeping around. Swinging his arms around."
"Hitting you in the face," he said and I nodded.
"He was more shocked than I was. He kept saying he was sorry while blood was rolling out of my nose."
"I wanted to beat the hell out of him. I would have if the police hadn't shown up."
"I still can't believe you called them."
"I always cover my bets, Clark. Did it when I was making deals. I had to make sure you were safe."
"Mum was surprised that I didn't want to press charges. I… I didn't want him to lose his job. It was an accident."
"I was surprised, too."
"That's why it was such a shock seeing him again."
"Well… I'm sure he left town again. Which is why I want you to do one thing for me."
"What's that?"
"Don't let what happened at the store ruin our Christmas," Will said and I agreed with him. I carefully got off his stomach as I snuggled down next to him and I moved the bedding up. I placed my head against his right shoulder and we laid in the darkness, watching the fairy lights twinkling in the darkness.
Over the next few days, I did what I planned to do before Patrick showed up. I went with Will, Lily and Stevie to my parents' house to make Christmas cookies. I went ice skating at the local ice rink with Treena, Lily and some of Lily's friends. I spent nights snuggling under the blankets with Will while snow fell outside. Lily and I helped Stevie make a snowman in the back garden. I know Will wasn't able to help, but I did see him smiling when Stevie pointed to the snowman and our son hopped up and down. I watched Christmas movie DVDs with Will, Lily, Nathan and Stevie. I tried to find a secret place to wrap presents until I settled with hiding in my design room with the door locked. Finally, I went to church on Christmas Eve. People came up after the service to talk to me and some of them told me they were praying for Will. We came home and Will smiled when I told them what they said.
"That was nice of them," he said.
We went to sleep with him on his right side and I held his hand in mine.
Christmas Day
I woke up next to Will and he was on his back. I studied his profile when he made a little moan his eyes snapped open. He looked a little lost. He turned his head to look at me and his eyes focused. He blinked his eyes a few times and a smile moved across his face.
"Hello," he said with a small croak to his voice.
"Hello," I said and I brushed some hair out of his eyes. "Bad dream?"
"I woke up."
He sounded so angry when he first wakes up. I know it's because he's returning to a body which doesn't work anymore. I often wondered what that felt like. Once, when he was in the hospital after he came down with pneumonia, I went onto my back on the bed, looked up at the ceiling and I didn't move. My body felt so heavy and it was a little hard to breathe. Was this how it felt for Will every day?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Will asked as I came out of my thoughts.
"I was just thinking," I explained as his face softened and his eyes looked sad.
"Patrick?"
"No. I was thinking about what it must be like for you. Having to wake up and not being able to move."
"Not a thing to be thinking about on Christmas, Clark," he said with a tiny smile. "It does bother me, but what makes it easier is seeing you when I open my eyes."
Like I said. He always knows the right thing to say.
"Merry Christmas!" came from the doorway while Nathan walked in the room and he headed for the bed. He wore a white jumper, jeans and his slippers and his hair stuck up slightly on his head. The snowfall had cancelled all flights and he had to spend the holiday with us instead of going home.
"Merry Christmas," I said when Stevie called out for me and Will over the baby monitor and I go out of bed. "I'll be right back."
I headed out of the room then I went into the nursery and Stevie had pulled himself up. He held onto the crib railing and his hair was sticking up on his head. I lifted him out of the crib then I went to get him dressed after changing his nappy. I dressed him in a white jumper with a cartoon reindeer face on the front, woolen trousers and socks and white sneakers. I brushed his hair then we headed out of the room.
"Papa," Stevie said, pointing to the master bedroom and we headed for the doorway. Nathan had finished the morning routines and he was using the lift chair to get Will into the wheelchair. Once he got Will comfortable in the wheelchair, Stevie smiled and clapped his hands. "Yay!"
"Merry Christmas, Buddy," Will said. Nathan had dressed Will in a white shirt, a thick, green jumper, woolen trousers and socks and his fleece lined slippers.
"Ho-ho!" Stevie said as he raised his arms in the air. Nathan steered the wheelchair to the doorway and we headed down the hallway. Lily walked out of her bedroom and she wore a light blue jumper with snowflakes on the front, jeans and her pink, fuzzy slippers. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and she wore the gold chain with the snowflake crystals. "Wiwy!"
"Hey!" she said as she walked closer and she hugged us. We went into the living room and I went to turn the fairy lights on. "Are we having breakfast first or are we opening presents?"
"I think we'll have breakfast first," I said and we headed for the kitchen. We went inside as I walked to the kitchen island after handing Stevie to Lily. Nathan put on some Christmas music and I noticed the smile on Will's face. "Pancakes?"
"Sounds good," Nathan said and I went to make breakfast.
After breakfast, we opened the presents and Stevie spent most of the time running through the wrapping paper lying on the floor. I had placed the Father Christmas hat on Will's head and he smiled when I placed the hat nearly over his eyes. We took a break for lunch then Will and Stevie were put down for a kip. Stevie demanded to stay with Will and I picked up my cellphone of the night table to take a photo of them sleeping.
"Are you sure you don't need a new phone, Clark?" Will had asked me.
"No," I told him. I had my cellphone for a long time. True, it was old, but it never failed me.
I looked at the cellphone when I noticed I had some messages. I tapped the text screen and I looked at the text. There was one from Grace, wishing us a Happy Christmas. There were Christmas texts from Marcy and Michael with a photo of them with their two children by the Christmas tree, from Freddie and Sam, from Tamara, from Rupert and some of other designers from the agency. There were two from Treena.
Mum wants to know what she should bring over for Christmas dinner – T
Tommy loved the presents you sent. – T
I smiled then I typed on the small keyboard.
Tell Mum the only thing she needs to bring is all of you. – L
Glad Tommy loved his presents. – L
It was the final text which nearly made me drop the cellphone.
I really need to talk to you, Lou! – Patrick
I looked at the text a few times before I blocked his number then deleted the text. My hand was shaking as I put the cellphone back on the night table and I wiped my face with my hands.
Granta House
The large living room of the main house was decorated with white garland with colorful ornaments, some humorous decorations on the tables and on the mantle of the large, marble fireplace and Christmas music was playing. The family dog was lounging on the dog pillow in front of the fireplace and the Christmas tree sat to the left of the fireplace. The ornaments and the decorations were a mix of modern and antique and fairy lights sparkled.
"Merry Christmas," Camilla said while she walked to us and we hugged. She wore a silver-colored dress, black hose and black heels and green crystal Christmas tree pin was pinned near her left shoulder.
"Merry Christmas," Georgina said as she got up from the couch and she smoothed out the white dress she was wearing. There were silver snowflakes scattered on the dress and she wore nude hose and black heels. She walked over for a hug and the butler walked in the room with Mum, Dad, Treena, Tommy and Granddad. Mum had sent over their presents for us the day before and she gasped when she saw the decorations.
"Oh my!" Mum said and Dad smiled, lightly patting her back.
"Merry Christmas!" I said while walking to them and we hugged.
"Thank you for having us over," Dad said to Camilla and she nodded.
"Shall we open presents?" Camilla said, pointing to the Christmas tree. We headed for the Christmas tree and I helped Will open his presents. He seemed happy, but I did notice there was someone missing. His father.
"Don't," Will whispered while I was sitting on his lap and we watched Tommy and Stevie playing with the dog.
Dinner was at seven and I loved the crystal bowls with poinsettias in them at the center of the long, dining table. Will sat next to me and he pushed the button to make himself level with the table. Mum took responsibility of feeding Stevie and Stevie sat in the same highchair Will and Georgina used when they were little.
"Well… It looks like I'm just in time," made us look at the doorway to the dining room and Steven walked to the table. "Sorry if I'm late."
"It's fine," Camilla said with a cold tone and Steven sat down at the head of the table. He glanced at us when his eyes met Will's eyes then Steven looked away. Will barely shook his head after I looked at him and I leaned back in the chair.
Dinner was served as I turned in the chair and Will glanced at the food on his plate. I started feeding him and he seemed to shut down.
"No!" Tommy suddenly said as he looked at the Brussel sprouts on his plate.
"Come on, Tommo. You have to eat your vegetables," Treena said, but he pushed the plate away.
"Looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't like vegetables," Will said, looking at the bowl of Brussel sprouts on his plate.
"Maybe if he sees you eating them then he will," I said, cutting the sprouts into tiny bits. I placed some of the bits onto the fork then I lifted the fork to his mouth. I poked the fork against his lips and Will arched an eyebrow before opening his mouth. I fed him a few forkfuls of Brussel sprouts and he sighed.
"Is it working?" he whispered through clenched teeth. I glanced over at Tommy and he was eating the sprouts.
"Yep," I said and the butler replaced the bowl of Brussel sprouts with a bowl of diced, honey glazed carrots. Will smiled as I scooped some of the diced carrots onto the fork and I fed him.
Dessert was served a short time later and I looked at the slices of gingerbread cake with a white glaze, a bowl of vanilla ice cream and some candied berries on my plate. Will had a bowl of white chocolate mousse on his plate, but he glanced over at my plate. I broke off tiny pieces of gingerbread without any glaze on them as I fed them to him then I kissed his lips. We didn't mind the sounds of Lily, Tommy and Stevie's giggles and Will and I smiled at each other.
Later that night, after the presents were brought to the house and Stevie was put to bed, Will and I snuggled under the blankets and the snow fell outside the window. Will was on his back and I had my head against his right shoulder.
"That was a nice Christmas," Will said with a tiny grin.
"Yes. It was," I said while moving my fingers over his collarbones.
"Want to tell me what's wrong?"
"Hunh? Nothing's wrong."
"Clark, I have been with you long enough to know when something is bothering you."
I looked at the wall for a few seconds then I sighed.
"I got some texts earlier. Most of them were Christmas wishes. There was two from Treena," I said and he arched his eyebrows up.
"And…?" he asked.
"One from Patrick. I didn't read it, but I did delete it and blocked his number."
"Then I don't feel so bad about running your cellphone over with my wheelchair."
"You ran over it like ten times," I said with a grin.
"You're right. I panicked and I kept flicking the joystick up and down," he said with a small laugh. "Why did you leave it on the floor? Was it in hope I would run it over?"
"Maybe," I said and he rolled his eyes.
"It's a good thing I bought you a new phone."
"And I have copies of the photos that were on my phone on my computer."
"Just be careful who you give the new number to."
Nodding, I watched him close his eyes and he soon drifted off to sleep. I then turned to look at the snow falling outside and the snow swirled around in small circles.