Chapter 6 - The Black mark

cont. 10 years ago

Galina POV

It was almost the end of my patrol shift, and I turned my face upwards taking some precious seconds to enjoy the sun. It was the only good part about the night shift. In a couple of minutes I would be done for the night, and I was longing for a hot shower and some sleep. But when I saw a familiar figure slip into the gym I knew all that had to wait. I thought that he had stopped violating the curfew when I started mentoring him, but apparently not tonight. I wondered what Spiridon had said this time. He really needed to get a better grip of his temper.

I ignored the pathway and walked directly to the gym, leaving footprints in the untouched snow making me miss the mild winters at home. We may have gotten snow for a couple of months but it would all be gone by now. Images of my childhood home flashed by, a small girl swinging under the tree, a messy counter after another failed attempt at baking scones. I needed to suppress the memories, they simply hurt too much. I put my hand on the door handle, and taking a deep breath I silently opened the door to the gym.

As I just saw him sneak into the gym I knew he wouldn't have had the time to do a proper warm up. He was already punching the bag in the corner, going at it harder than he should. It made me sigh, had he not listened to anything I've told him? He turned around at the sound. Eyes black with anger ready to pounce until the realization of who had entered the room hit him. At least he had the awareness to look apologetic, although he really shouldn't be showing emotion at all.

"You shouldn't be here at this hour. And it didn't look like you warmed up thoroughly. You kept your shoulders way too tight. "

"I'm sorry", he said but averted his eyes.

"No you're not. I'm sure you have a reason to do such a foolish thing. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he muttered, still not looking at me.

"Well you'll have to, or I'll start to believe that you don't value my time." I actually knew that he did, but it was a good threat, so I continued. "No student of mine would be so stupid to one, loose valuable sleep and two, risk injury. So either you'll tell me or ", I still had my two fingers in the air and didn't have time to finish that sentence before his eyes locked with mine, no longer black with anger but cautious.

"I told you last week that I would spend my weekend at home."

"Yes, how did that go?"

"He still hasn't shown up."

A while back Dimitri had come to practice with his mind elsewhere. He didn't want to speak that time either, but after extra laps out in the cold and then some sparring where he didn't get a single shot at me, I had made him talk. I was secretly proud that he stood up for his family but I also knew the risk of acting on impulse. The risk of hitting a Moroi.

"So what happened?" I asked perhaps with a voice a bit more cold than needed.

"I just learned some disturbing facts about our so-called society", the fire alight in his eyes again.

"That doesn't sound like a good enough excuse for your behavior. You know I don't tolerate lies."

The fact that he once again looked away told me that he tried to get his emotions in check. Perhaps debating what would be the right thing to do. I had given up on that idea a long time ago. The right thing usually gets you in more trouble and it's just easier to follow orders, control one's emotions and take it out on the running track or at the gym. Although most of my colleagues still had a good physique it was clear that some of them no longer tried to improve themselves. A shame really. As a guardian you should be ready for battle at all times, if you go soft on yourself you're more likely to lose. I couldn't understand why one would like to fail. He took a deep breath and I could see how he tried to shield his emotions from his face. He was almost succeeding.

"What do you know about children that are taken?" his voice low as to reinforce the sensitive nature of the subject.

"Taken how?" I asked in a way to stall, I could feel my breathing becoming irregular as my emotions were starting to get the better of me. Ironic how a few seconds ago I was scolding him for the same thing I was now struggling with.

"Taken by guardians, or I don't know - someone else. Those that just disappear without an explanation or any trace", spitting out the word guardian.

The girl on the swing pops up again. The same girl skipping down the road to play with her friends to never come home again. The feeling of utter desperation when I tried to get answers, to find her, my sister.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I wasn't surprised to see that he didn't believe me.

"You do know, don't you?", both his voice and eyes filled with suspicion.

"I know about no such thing and neither do you.", with my own glare I tried to convey that I did know but that this was a dead end. "Don't start something that will only hurt you, your family and your career. You have great potential. Don't waste it." And to my shock I said the same words that have haunted me for so long, the same words that were said to me numerous times. "It's pointless to try, just move on or perish." I barely managed to keep my guardian mask in place.

With that I turned around and walked towards the door. I could hear him starting to say something but I didn't trust my face to not betray me if I turned back towards him. With one hand on the handle and still facing away from him I said, "This is one of those things as a true guardian you will learn to hide and you need to keep your opinions and questions to yourself. Don't be late for practice", and with that I closed the door behind me.

I stood still just outside the gym while the ache in my chest was making it difficult to breathe. Thankfully the cool air flowing into my lungs as I took some deep breaths helped. I really needed that shower now. I hurried back to the safety of my room. It felt like I was running away to hide.

While in the scolding shower I couldn't keep my emotions in tact anymore. I broke. My mind was full of memories of my sister, of the time after she was taken, my endless search both within the human world and our own. I had ignored my assignments to do what I had believed was right, to find my own flesh and blood. But it was all for nothing. It only gave me a black mark in my record and a dead end position at an Academy where my true talent was wasted. I liked to mentor Dimitri, but if he kept asking questions about this I wouldn't be able to continue. This would be the last time I allowed myself to break down over this. She was gone. She was gone and I wouldn't spend any more energy on her. I wouldn't perish.