Chapter 7 - Lost friends

Present day - January

Rose POV

I was so bored. I really didn't want to hear another word about Moroi history, wishing Ms. Carmack would just shut up. I glanced at the clock on the wall. I had to suppress a groan when I realized it was only 10 in the morning. The chairs were so uncomfortable in the smaller classroom, it almost made me miss the bigger one. At least I had the window seat while Meredith sat closer to the wall. She didn't seem to mind. From the looks of it she was completely engulfed by Ms. Carmack, meticulously taking notes.

I stared out the window and let out a sigh. I wanted to be out there, training and fighting like all the boys did. Eddie and Mason stood in the front, instructing the others on their moves. I think this was only the second or third time that they held the class they usually attended. I guess it was expected now, we were the eldest of the students. I wish I could speak to them but I knew that it was to no use. Our friendship had ceased to exist a couple of years ago, but the thought of our lost friendship still made me sad since they had been my best friends.

/ A week after Eddie's tenth birthday we were playing hide and seek outside and I was hiding behind the corner of the gym. I could see Eddie walking around over to the shed where I knew Mason was hiding. It made me happy to know that I was winning. Meredith had, as usual, been found first. She didn't know how to be silent, and that made it easy for us to hear where she went hiding. That, and she was fairly predictable with her hiding spots.

Just after a minute Eddie called out for me, saying that I won, but I knew better. It wouldn't be the first time they tried to trick me to reveal myself. So I sneaked around the gym so that I could look around the other corner to confirm if Mason had in fact been found or not. When I peaked around the corner I saw four figures standing there, as Guardian Alto had joined my friends. Leaving my hiding spot, I walked over to them trying to understand the situation. Was the guardian upset or could we keep playing? I heard Eddie answer a question I hadn't caught.

"Yes sir. We'll stop at once. I'm sorry sir". So no more playing. Meredith saw me and gestured for me to come inside with her. Eddie and Mason followed Guardian Alto instead into the gym. I asked what had happened when I'd caught up with Meredith.

"Nothing really. Guardian Alto just said that Eddie and Mason shouldn't waste their time on silly games. We should go inside anyway to help get dinner ready." I was sick and tired of her always just accepting the weird rules and orders from the guardians. /

Things had only escalated after that. Eddie and Mason were always with the guardians, either training with them or just following them around, copying their every move. At first they would tell me about their day at dinner, explaining different fighting moves they had learnt or other cool stuff. I rarely had anything new to tell them. My days would always be the same. If we managed to slip away they would show me some of the moves they've learnt. But that was years ago. The final straw to our friendship was when Moore found us rehearsing front kicks.

/ "What do you think you're doing?" he said menacingly to us all. I didn't want the boys to get in trouble, so I quickly took a step forward.

"I'm sorry sir, I convinced Eddie and Mason to show me some of the moves they've learned today. I shouldn't have bothered them."

He seemed to enjoy the situation, and I could feel the nervous tension from the boys behind me. Moore's punishments were harsch and we would all do anything to avoid them. I couldn't let them take the fall, or even fall with me.

"It was all my fault, sir," I said, hoping he would let them be.

He smirked at me. "I'm sure of that. But it doesn't change the fact they should've said no." I was almost sweating now. He took a few steps forward and turned to the boys. "Take off your belts, boys."

What the fuck? I was trembling with fear now. What was his plan? Would he do something to them? I couldn't let him touch them, no way I'd be able to stand by anything like that. The boys reluctantly did as he requested. The whole ordeal reminded me of my arrival here when they forced Eddie and I to change into the uniform in front of them.

"Rosie, you may keep your shirt on this time. Just remember that next time I won't allow it. Edison, Mason, you know what to do. If you don't hit her hard enough, I will demonstrate on you just how hard the strikes should be."

The realization hit me. He wasn't going to punish them. He was forcing them to punish me. I felt nauseous.

"Ten strikes each. And we don't have all day."

I turned to Eddie and Mason looked them both in the eyes. With a small nod I gave them my permission. There was no way we could get out of this. They knew it too. Eddie looked grim as he took a few shaky steps forward, his belt in his hands. /

I shuddered at the memory. I didn't know if it was the shame or the fear but after that we barely talked. And as the years passed they were becoming more and more like the rest of the guardians. Since a year back they even slept in the guardian quarters.

The older we got, the more they would separate the boys and the girls. We were provided with completely different tasks. The boys would become guardians, and we would become something. I wasn't even sure what we were going to classes for. One by one, all the older girls would disappear at some point. The guardians here told us that they graduated, but something in me didn't quite believe that. Meredith and I were next to graduate, and it scared me. The boys would be kept here as far as I know. Only one boy had disappeared from the Institution during my time here and I was one of the few who knew what had happened to him. The Headmaster had never addressed the issue but I understood that I needed to keep quiet about it. Which was fine by me, I really didn't like thinking, let alone speaking, about it.

We were used to not seeing the Headmaster that often but when I had been here a few years he didn't come back for months. One day we had an assembly and a woman explained that she was the new Headmistress. I instinctively didn't like her but it took me a while before I realized why. Before I was taken here I had lived at St Vladimir's and sometimes us younger kids would go up to the grand hall for different kinds of gatherings. I still remember the insecure feeling I had during these events, and I usually stayed close to my friends and Alberta. But there had been a woman who spoke to all of us from a stage on the other end of the grand room. The Headmistress looked a lot like the woman from my memory. But I couldn't be certain since I had only seen that woman a couple of times and didn't know her name or the Headmistress's. Either way, the resemblance made me uncomfortable. What if it really was the same woman?

When I was about thirteen I apparently had proven to her that I didn't have a nurturing nature, so the Headmistress had decided that I was most useful for cleaning and doing chores rather than helping out with the younger children like Meredith did. In the beginning I had appreciated the change but now, after a few years, the long days were starting to wear me down. I got up before all the others to prepare breakfast and was the last one to go to bed after doing the last of the clean up. Sometimes I was even so tired that I wished I could go to the Infirmary, just to be able to rest a bit. But being in the Infirmary was nothing like resting, it usually felt more like surviving. I remember my first sickness just a couple of months after I had been brought here.

/ I could feel the fever kicking in and as the Headmaster had asked me I went to one of the grown ups and told them. It was just after the morning class so Ms. Carmack was the first grown up available.

"Miss?"

"Yes Rose, what is it?" she sounded almost angry that I had interrupted her break time.

"I feel feverish and the Headmaster told me to tell someone the next time it happened."

"Oh dear, come with me." She walked out of the classroom towards the stairs. I had to walk fast to follow her. We went up the stairs and she opened the door directly to the left. I had never been in that part of the house. My curiosity quickly turned to anxiety as I saw the large white, sterile examination room. I could also see three other closed doors. Ms Carmack opened one of them and told me to wait inside. I stepped into the room and immediately felt claustrophobic. It could barely fit a bed, a small sink and toilet. I heard the door close behind me and I immediately turned around and tried to open it. I didn't want to stay here in this room, I needed to get out. But the door was locked. /

Ever since that first time, I spent all my sicknesses there. I hated every single time, and wished I wasn't sick. The last time was about a month ago, so I still had a couple of months until the next time. Of course, I wasn't the only one sick. All the girls here had the sickness. We didn't know much about it, only that we had to be separated from the rest of the house when it occurred. It happened four times a year, roughly every three months. All the girls had different times for it, but we would all be taken to the Infirmary for the entire time being.

Meredith had it worse than I, her sickness usually lasted almost ten days. Mine was closer to five days, the second and third day the worst. When I was younger I would only get a really high fever, but when I got older I also started experiencing the cramps. My stomach would hurt, and my skin would feel like it was on fire.

I didn't really understand why we had to be separated and forced to stay in the rooms since all of the girls had it. Perhaps they didn't want the boys to catch it, but I didn't think it was contagious. More than anything I wished I didn't have to be alone when I was sick.

The last sickness had been different though. The cramps that would usually feel like someone gutted my insides were more manageable, and I had felt an aching in my lower stomach. It wasn't pleasant, but at least it wasn't excruciatingly painful. Instead of the nightmares I usually had, I had other kinds of dreams. My cheeks flushed thinking about the weird dreams, and I involuntarily pressed my thighs together. I faintly remembered that it had felt relieving when I had done that after waking up covered in sweat in the small room.

Maybe my sickness was becoming more manageable.

After what felt like an eternity, Ms. Carmack finally dismissed us for the day, and Meredith headed off to the bigger classroom where the other younger children were. I had to get dinner started. It wasn't like I had to do everything alone, I got plenty of help. But in the end I was stuck in the kitchen all evening when the others were more free to do other things. I cursed my not-so-nurturing-nature that brought this on me.

I knew what the Headmistress had really meant. I was a bad influence to the younger children and that was a cause for concern. Meredith on the other hand, well, she was meek. Precisely what they valued here. I wasn't meek, and therefore I wasn't valued. I was a problem. And problems were dealt with by Moore.

I remembered a girl who, like me, was a problem. I had been at the Institution for a couple of years, and an older girl with blue eyes and brown hair took care of Eddie and I. She was warm and kind. She reminded me of Alberta, and at that time she was one of the only good things here. Even Moore couldn't silence her spirit. He couldn't get her to follow all the stupid rules. She would always cause a ruckus wherever she went, and she was all smiles and laughter, her blue eyes always filled with mischief.

Until one day she never smiled, never laughed, her blue eyes kept strict on the floor. Never broke the rules. I didn't know what exactly had happened to her and I wasn't stupid enough to try to find out. After a couple of months she too graduated and I haven't seen her since.

Author's note

Happy Monday all! From this chapter forward, we are finally going to be in Present time, with the exception of flashbacks.

Thank you all for reviewing so far, it truly makes our day. / Alesha & Telma