Chapter 18 - Questionable safety

Present day - March

Rose POV

My heart was pounding in my chest as I ran as fast as I could. I could hear someone approaching, but I was too scared to turn around. My ragged breathing covered most of the sounds from the person or thing behind me, so when I finally glanced back I was startled to see him so close to me, the same man who had perhaps killed Moore. He was now coming for me.

A scream almost escaped my lungs, but I needed the air to run faster, to escape him. My lungs were screaming from exhaustion and my feet were both burning and freezing at the same time. I stepped on a particularly sharp object on the ground and winced from the pain, just before he grabbed me and we flew.

I felt a large arm snake around my waist, pulling me close to his solid body before we hit the ground. I was already hurting in so many places, but the landing still knocked the wind out of me and I heard my painful cry, as well as the slight grunt that escaped the man's lips.

When the earth stopped spinning and we finally came to a stop, he was under me. I was finally able to take a deep breath, and the air filling my lungs fueled my struggle. His arm was relentless in his hold as I tried to get away from him.

He rolled us over so that he was on top of me, my back pressed against his chest. The man was so big that I thought he would crush me with his weight, but instead the weight of his body only stopped most of my struggles while I could still breathe with ease.

"Stop, I won't hurt you". When he spoke his chest rumbled against my back, his deep voice commanding. I had spoken enough with Igor to recognize the similar accent. The tone in his voice only spurred my fear, the self-assured confidence only confirming what I had already guessed. This man was a guardian.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and with unforgiving strength he rolled me over so that I was on my back. Maybe this sick fucker wanted to watch my terrified face when he had his way with me, just like Moore had wanted. His body pinned me to the ground and it was suffocating. My fear was also suffocating me, the anger in me bubbling under the surface. When I had run through the library doors, I had been liberated. I had accepted my almost certain death in order to be free, to be my own, even if it was the last thing I did.

My acceptance didn't mean I would just give in and die, or be raped. I was at least going to make it difficult for him, I had barely evaded Moore's attempt to rape me and I wasn't going down without a fight. My left hand was searching for weapons, anything that could help me, but I already knew that I wouldn't stand a chance against this beast, who had annihilated Moore like that. I tried to see if there was anything on the ground, but my panicked eyes weren't really capable of focusing on anything. Adrenalin pumped through my veins, spurring me not to give up. I was desperately trying to push him away from me with my right hand, but I could only feel the strong muscles in his solid form that wouldn't budge an inch. "Stop, I'm not going to hurt you," he said. How could he be so calm, when all I felt was a turmoil of dread? I could feel some of his weight ease on me as he put more weight on his arm, raising his body a bit. I didn't have the time to feel any sort of relief as his other arm pressed me down. The calmness in his voice, the assurance he was radiating made me increasingly angry, and I involuntarily snapped my eyes at him, finally looking at the monster who was here to give me my sentence.

The man above me stared straight into my eyes, but it wasn't greed or lust that washed over his face. It was something else, something that I didn't recognize. For a brief second a memory flickered in my mind, but the adrenaline simply pushed all irrelevant thoughts aside. The only thing that mattered was fight or flight.

Some of his hair hung around his face, and although it was dark I could see his shocked and bewildered expression as he said "I've got you now, you don't have to be afraid of me," he breathed, his dark eyes bored into me.

Where had I heard those words before?

I didn't dwell on that, my fingers had finally found something to hold on to. To hell with Moore. To hell with guardians. To hell with him. "Fuck you!" I growled and tried my best to hit him as hard as I could with the rock I'd found. Even though my blow landed on his temple, he barely flinched, not even swaying on top of me. What the fuck was this man? The moonlight was behind him and it was too dark to see if his eyes had crimson in them, so the only thing reassuring me that he wasn't Strigoi was the warmth radiating from his body.

He grabbed my wrist of the hand that held onto the rock, his gaze snapping to it. I wanted to kick him in the groin with my knee but it was like he read my mind and blocked my attempt before I could even manage a decent try. Why was he so damn strong and heavy? I was getting increasingly tired from trying to push him off me and thrashing underneath him. Truth to be told, I was exhausted.

I felt his eyes on me as he said "Rose, please, stop. I'm not going to hurt you. We need to get away from here."

I barely registered that he said my name. "Look, we need to get out of here. We don't have much time, they will come for us," he continued with his calm and commanding voice. I momentarily stilled, and looked around us into the dark forest. Even if he wasn't Strigoi there were still others, had they finally found me? How could he be so calm? I couldn't help the question escaping my lips. "Strigoi?"

In a graceful movement he got up on his feet, dragging me with him with his relentless strength. His eyes roamed the forest, solely focused on finding threats. He was so poised and calm, a sharp contrast to what I was feeling. I vaguely noticed that he took his phone and dialed someone, but I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. Finally, since his weight wasn't pinning me down to the ground, the odds of me escaping considerably increased. I would rather take my chance and be killed by Strigoi than continue to be used and freedomless. My legs were barely holding me up, but I still struggled against his hold. It was useless however, his iron grip didn't budge.

He put his phone back into his pocket and started dragging me with him. I tried to bury my feet in the ground, I tried to halt us while I pulled in the other direction. I was so exhausted. He was just too strong for me, and now that we were standing I could see how terrifyingly big he was, bigger than I had initially thought. Taller than anyone I had ever seen before, and his build probably revealed only a fraction of his strength, rendering my struggles useless.

It was as if he sensed what I was thinking when he said "Your struggle won't help, it's only going to slow us down. If you don't stop I'm going to have to throw you over my shoulder. I just want to take you to safety."

His calmness was starting to piss me off again, and I doubted safety meant the same for him as it did for me. He was the only thing standing between me and my freedom, and however short-lived that freedom may be, he was keeping me prisoner. Like all other guardians had my entire life.

"You are absolutely fucking delusional if you think I'm going to go with you," I growled and kicked him in the knee, hard, and it probably hurt me more than it hurt him. A grunt escaped his lips, and I almost smiled. It could feel pain.

"I don't care if you or Strigoi will kill me," I said, watching something flicker in his stoic expression. Suddenly I was pulled against him again and the next thing I knew he had somehow thrown me over his shoulders. Damn he was fast.

I panicked when I felt my nightgown ride up, the cold air hitting places I didn't want anyone to see. His strong arm draped over my bare thighs, locking me in place while the other hand held my arm, pulling me close to him. I could feel the hard muscles of his upper back and shoulders against the front of my body. He was so warm, a stark contrast to the cold night.

I could barely struggle, his hold unwavering while he ran in the dark forest. Carrying me didn't seem to bother him at all, his breathing remained steady and controlled. What the fuck was this man?

The second his grip eased and he let me down again I started struggling again, trying to kick him the best I could. I could see a car, the same kind that had taken me away from home. From Alberta. From-

"You need any help?" I heard someone ask, interrupting my painful memories. The voice belonged to a man, oddly familiar, and he sounded like he was amused. Now there were two of them, and my stomach dropped.

I was suddenly painfully aware of my lack of clothing, giving them easy access. I looked down and saw that the thin material of my nightgown didn't conceal my nipples, that were hard from the cold and the fear. I didn't want them to see anything that belonged only to me, so I draped one arm over my chest, hoping I could hide. Hoping that the ground would swallow me and take me away from here.

"You're driving. Start the car," the man holding me said to the other, sounding a lot harsher than when he had spoken to me. I tried to look around to see how many of them there were, but only saw a glimpse of blond hair before he got into the car. Panicked, I looked back at the man holding me, only to find him glancing at his watch. He started dragging me towards the trunk of the car.

No. No. No. No. No.

He seemed disturbed by my panic. "I'm not going to force you into the trunk, I'm only going to give you some of my clothes."

Oh. Why would he put more clothes on me if he was planning to have his way with me? I watched his every move as he opened the trunk and searched through one of the bags there. I tried to understand what he was doing, why he was doing this.

"Here, put these on." I had done more than enough guardian laundry to recognize what he was handing me. "Will you let go of my arm now?" I asked, and he seemed to consider whether or not I was going to bolt or start fighting him again. I still didn't understand what was going on, but I wasn't going to say no to more clothing. He released my arm, and I wanted to wince from the pain from the blood rushing back.

I immediately started pulling the thermal underwear on. As I pulled the pants up, I saw his gaze linger on my inner thighs. For some reason, that didn't terrify me. He didn't look at me the way Igor and Moore would, his gaze wasn't possessive and hungry. It was- I think it was full of anger and concern. When he noticed that I was looking at him his guardian mask snapped back into place, his face void of emotions again.

The pants were of course far too big, unsurprisingly so as they seemed to belong to this giant in front of me. They pooled around my considerably shorter legs, and I had to hold them up with one hand. I watched as his hand reached behind his head, pulling his hair free. He held out his hair tie and said "here, you can tie them up with that so that they won't drop."

I couldn't stop my hands from shaking as I followed his advice, and I felt his eyes on me the entire time. My exhaustion was starting to get the best of me, and I couldn't understand why he was being so- so nice.

He held out a long leather jacket for me, helping me in it. It was huge, and I was thankful for the coverage it offered. I was now clothed pretty much from top to toe, no longer as exposed. I didn't have the courage to look up at the guardian again, so I avoided his stare.

He opened the car door to the right. "Can you please get into the car now? We won't hurt you, we're here to take you to safety," he said, and I felt his eyes fixed on me.

I looked at the forest. It was dark and uninviting, not offering any protection or promise of my long lost freedom. I considered the monsters lurking in it, waiting for me like they would in my dreams. The guardian in front of me had barely broken a sweat chasing me, holding me, dragging me and carrying me to the car. I knew he was faster than I was, and impossibly strong. I didn't stand a chance.

"I'll just drag you back," he said in his calm and assured voice. I glared at him before I accepted my defeat and got into the car. How did he seem to know what I was thinking on more than one occasion?

I felt the panic rising again when I noticed that he was also getting in the back, and I quickly scooched over to the other side so that I was sitting behind the driver. The second he closed the car door, I heard them lock with a loud click. The sound startled me, and my heart was again pounding in my chest. The sound of the tires were loud on the gravel road as we drove into the night.

"Seatbelt," the guardian next to me reminded me. I quickly fastened it without a word. I looked up and saw the other one's face through the rearview mirror.

"Douchebag?" I whispered when I recognized who it was, the word escaping my lips before I could contain it. Now was not the time to make them angry.

To my surprise he laughed, his whole body shaking. "The one and only," he grinned.

It was the man from the market, the one who had bumped into me and caused me so much trouble. I wanted to yell at him, to let him know what I almost had to suffer through because of him, but I kept silent. Instead, I looked out the window with a scowl, noticing how we turned right and onto a larger road. The man driving sped up before turning, and I was pressed up against the door. We were driving fast on the empty roads.

Nobody said anything for a while. I waited for them to say something, to let me know what their plans were, and I was so exhausted that I didn't have the strength to question them. I glanced at the guardian next to me, the giant with the Russian accent. Again, something flickered on my mind. A memory from a long time ago, a memory I had suppressed in order to survive. I looked at him, only seeing the side of his face as he stared out the window, deep in his thoughts.

He looked so sad. So broken and vulnerable. He was breathing heavily and he wasn't like the stoic guardian that had captured me in the forest. He had dark brown shoulder length hair that fell to the side of his face, some of it tucked behind his ear. I noticed his strong jaw and I could see the jaw muscle twitch, his lips pressed into a tense line. His nose was straight, and his brows seemed furrowed as he continued to stare out the window.

An image from the forest popped up in my head, an image of his dark eyes staring into mine while he had me pinned down. I didn't know if it was my exhaustion or what but I couldn't help but think that this man was beautiful, and his whole demeanor seemed to radiate masculinity. I hadn't been around that many different men in my life, and he was definitely something else, but he still terrified me.

He must've felt my gaze and turned to look at me, interrupting my scrutiny and capturing my eyes. His eyes conveyed so many emotions that it overwhelmed me and I realized that my memory hadn't done them justice. I suddenly felt so insecure, not understanding why anyone would look at me like that. It had been too dark in the forest, but I noticed now that his eyes were a shade of warm brown.

The man driving finally broke the silence. "My name is Spiridon, and that's Belikov. We're guardians assigned to the Division, a unit specialized in retrieving dhampir children." I tore my eyes away from the man next to me, and noticed that douchebag was watching me through the rearview mirror. "Children like you. Commander Arthur Schoenberg is the leader of our unit and was in charge of tonight's rescue operation. You're safe with us." He spoke with such confidence, not leaving any room for questioning what he said. But I didn't believe him.

They were guardians, and I knew what guardians were like. They seemed to sense my apprehension, and the guardian next to me, Belikov, asked me "Do you understand what we're saying? Do you have any questions?" his tone wary and gentle while his eyes observed me.

Hundreds. But I wasn't naive enough to ask them, to show them that I believed them. I looked out the window without giving them the satisfaction of tricking me.

Moore had sometimes played similar games, mind games that would crush your soul. I didn't know what they were trying to do or why, but I needed to keep my guard up. It could be that they were just trying to keep me calm by lying to me while they were taking me somewhere entirely else. I thought about how Moore had said something about selling me to Zmey and that nobody had bid on me. I was too tired to truly comprehend what that meant for me, but I was nauseous even thinking about the possibility that these men would sell me like I was nothing more than an object.

"We're going to take you to your friends, the other children that were held at the Institution. We're driving you to a temporary safehouse where they will also be so that you can get help. You're safe now, we're here to protect you," Belikov continued.

I mulled over that for a while. Was I safe now? I didn't feel safe. I was in a car against my will with two unknown men, guardians, one of them who had easily overpowered first Moore and then me. And I was exhausted and hurt. I briefly wondered if I was unusually tired. I had no control of the situation or no chance of stopping them if they wanted to hurt me. There were absolutely no guarantees that they wouldn't try anything.

"What's your name?" He sounded like he already knew the answer, and I remembered that he had said my name in the woods. I decided to stay quiet, and stared out the window instead.

When I didn't reply douchebag filled in. "It's Rosie, right?"

My sharp intake of air was the only thing revealing that I'd heard him. Rosie. Only Moore called me Rosie. I bit down in order not to say anything, to reveal something that would be used against me. They had definitely been talking to Moore, only confirming some of my worst fears.

I didn't know how long we'd been driving, I might have even dozed off at some point. I hadn't heard the phone ring so when Belikov answered it and broke the silence I was startled.

"What do you mean we're compromised?" he said in a hushed tone. I faintly heard a male voice on the other side, but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

"All of them?" he asked. His tone surprised me, and I turned to look at him. His face was carved of stone when he listened to what the man on the line had to say. "For how long?" he said after a while.

"We have one with us." I peaked my ears now that I knew they were talking about me. "I don't like the sound of this, she needs help. More than we can offer her." What did he mean with that? I was dying to know what the other one was saying as the silence stretched on. "We have the resources we need," he said reluctantly, glancing at me. More silence passed as he listened intently. I was getting increasingly nervous. "How will you contact us?" he asked. "For how long?" he asked again, and seemed displeased by the answer. He ended the phone call with tersely wishing the other one good luck.

He suddenly turned to me and looked me straight in the eye while he said something in Russian to me. I blinked a couple of times, trying to remember some of the things Igor had taught me. But Igor had only made me rehearse a few sentences over and over again, in addition to some swear words I knew. I didn't understand what Belikov had said, and it seemed like he realized as much.

He turned to douchebag and they started talking in Russian, fast. I caught some swear words here and there, but other than that the content of their conversation remained a mystery. I understood that Belikov had tested me, making sure I didn't understand Russian. Not wanting me to understand what they were going to say to each other. The calmness I didn't even realize I'd had was now completely gone, and my palms were sweating.

"What's going on?" I demanded. My voice was surprisingly steady, unlike how I felt on the inside. Instead of answering me, they spoke more Russian in hushed voices.

When the car stopped at a red light I unfastened my seatbelt and tried to open the door. In my panicked state I'd forgotten that they had locked all the doors, so my plan failed miserably. Just as I was about to hit or grab douchebag, Belikov grabbed my wrists. I already knew it was hopeless, but I still tried to get out of his hold, doing everything in my power to hurt either one of them in the small space. I only ended up hurting myself, and the long jacket I was wearing seriously confined my movements so I couldn't even kick properly.

"Please, calm down," he said. I realized I was having some sort of panic attack. This had been the longest day in my life and I didn't know how much more I could handle. He looked me in the eyes, those captivating and gentle brown eyes bored into mine. I tried to breathe in and out, but it felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen. My body stilled as I focused on breathing at the same pace as he was, and after a while he released my wrists. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to, right now it felt as if his eyes were keeping me grounded.

"The plans have changed. For reasons I can't tell you right now, we can't go to the safehouse as we'd intended, it's not secure any longer. The person on the phone was our commander, the leader of tonight's operation and the Division. This means you're not going to be reunited with your friends tonight."

I didn't know if any of this was true. A part of me believed what he said and I asked "When can I go back to the others?" What I really wanted to ask was when they would let me go.

He looked displeased. "We don't know. The plan right now is that you're staying with us, taking cover somewhere until we know more."

Taking cover somewhere. "And what does that mean exactly?" I could hear the panic in my voice.

Douchebag decided to join the conversation. "It means that we're stuck with you for a while."

Stuck with me? More like I was stuck with this Russian giant and that douchebag.