Chapter 20 - Uncomfortable encounters

Present day - March

Dimitri POV

After our late dinner-like breakfast, I checked on Rose's bandages. The cuts on her feet looked a lot better, even her left foot. Her knees were still bruised up but the swelling was down. While we were waiting for Spiridon to return, Rose kept to herself, and I thought it was best to give her space. I wanted to press her, ask her why she was lying to me, but it was clear that she was scared of me and didn't want me close to her. I wasn't sure if I should ask her about Moore and what he'd done to her, if it would help her, but I figured it would only make things worse if I brought it up.

When I'd said her name she had tensed up and struggled to keep her eyes from flickering to me. She had impersonated a statue when I'd said that my name was Dimitri, and her eyebrows had furrowed ever so slightly. I knew she recognized the name Dimitri, maybe even me.

She must have her reasons for not admitting that she remembers Baia, and I would give her time. Maybe this meant that she wouldn't forgive me for my failure when I had let them take her away, and if so I would just have to suffer for it. I deserved it after all. If she knew that Spiridon and I were watching Moore kick her, if she knew that we heard him plan to break her and that we didn't do anything about it until it was too late, she would probably never forgive us.

The door to the bedroom was open, and Rose was lying on the bed, breathing heavily. I watched her for a moment and felt certain that she was asleep. I grabbed a set of fresh clothes from my bag and went into the bathroom. It was nice to finally get out of the guardian tactical uniform, and I absentmindedly undressed and placed my stake and gun by the sink. I decided to take a quick shower, clenching my jaw as I stepped under the freezing water. The dried blood from my head wound and what was left of that animal's blood on me turned the water pink as it slowly washed down the drain. I shut down the water and looked around for some soap.

I heard a thud. Quietly, I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist as I didn't want to waste time getting dressed. Since the sun hadn't set completely yet, I grabbed my gun. If someone was here it wouldn't be Strigoi. Spiridon wouldn't be back for a while, and Rose had seemed to be asleep when I'd checked on her before my shower. I opened the bathroom door, making as little sounds as possible, and scanned the main room for threats. I couldn't find any. I heard noises coming from the bedroom and stalked over there, ready to incapacitate anyone who would dare to try to touch her.

Shit.

Rose had one leg out the window and she looked up at me in surprise. I should've realized that the biggest threat to her safety was her determination to escape us, and I should've kept a better watch on her. Before she managed to get the other one out and jump out the window, I had already placed the gun on the dresser to my right and closed the distance between us. I grabbed her as gently as I could and pulled her back into the room. She struggled, of course, and tried to hold on to the windowsill. In the whole ordeal my towel dropped, and we both stilled.

Shit.

I was holding onto her upper arm and we were standing close to each other. So close that I could feel her ragged breathing on my bare chest, still wet from my shower. I should've moved back immediately, but I didn't. Instead, I stood there, relishing her proximity to my bare body and it was as if my body responded on its own accord. I felt the heat warm my cheeks as I blushed. I wasn't one to be embarrassed to be naked, but something in this situation was so intimate, so forbidden. I could feel my body react and that was all I needed to realize what I was doing.

Shit.

I suddenly became very aware of how close to each other we were. She looked equally as dumbfounded as I felt, and the flash of fear in her eyes made me snap out of the frozen state I was in. I released my hold and quickly picked up the towel, covering my most private parts. Her breathing hitched and a deep blush tinged her cheeks as she took me in, wide-eyed and flushed.

Shit.

I immediately closed the window with my free hand, the one that wasn't holding onto the towel, and backed away from her. She snapped her gaze down onto the floor but I could still see the deep crimson of her blushed cheeks. I felt the responsibility to rectify the situation but didn't know what to say. I realized my mistake of letting my guard down. She had tried to escape again, and I knew that the rest of my shower would have to wait for Spiridon to get back. I needed to get dressed but didn't want to risk her trying to escape again. Instead, I just stood there, clutching the towel in front of me, preventing her from seeing all of me. I prayed that she hadn't seen anything that would traumatize her more than she already was, but I already knew that ship had sailed.

I asked the first thing that came to mind. "Do you want to shower?"

A new wave of blush spread across her cheeks and she gasped.

Shit.

"I mean, do you want to take a shower, alone? As in a closed door and all, locked door, of course, alone." I could hear myself rambling and took a deep breath. "I will leave you to do anything you'd like, shower or not, just let me know if I can help you with anything," I added, hoping to ease her worry. She didn't look up, but she nodded slightly. Wrapping the towel around me again, I grabbed my gun from the dresser and walked into the bathroom to get my clothes and my stake. I was cringing from my own thoughtlessness. I was definitely making her uncomfortable, probably even scaring her to death with my foolish actions. I grabbed a fresh towel and hung it on the bathroom door for her. I didn't return to the bedroom, but I saw from the corner of my eye that she was still standing by the window, frozen in her place.

Shit.

I must've truly terrified her. I knew that I had to give her space in order not to scare her more, but the problem was that I couldn't really give her too much leeway since she was still trying to escape us every chance she got. I'd hoped that by introducing myself and letting her know that I remembered her I would make her more comfortable, but instead it seemed to have the opposite effect. I was still standing with my towel wrapped around me when she finally moved from the bedroom into the bathroom, grabbing the towel on her way in. It was clear that she was avoiding looking at me, although I caught her side glance when she reached for the clean towel. The second the door closed, I started to get dressed. I still kept the towel around me as I pulled on my boxers, just in case. Wouldn't want to cause another situation. I groaned, not even able to do it inwardly.

Just as I'd holstered my gun and stake, I heard her loud shriek from the bathroom. I was immediately on my alert, and I almost barged into the bathroom as the simple lock wouldn't have stopped me. But luckily I managed to stop myself just before kicking in the door as I realized that the water was running and that there was no window or anything else that would be potentially dangerous, unless she'd slipped. "Don't come in, I forgot that the water was freezing," she said and I immediately relaxed. Her voice sounded shrill, almost stressed.

I needed to get a grip of myself, I was way too wired up and reacting without thinking.

"Okay, I'll be outside." I figured that she would be more comfortable if she was left alone in the cabin while getting dressed. I walked into the bedroom and closed the curtains, hopefully signaling that she didn't need to worry about me. I grabbed my duster and walked out.

I saw what looked like a woodshed and figured that I could chop some wood in exchange for borrowing the cabin. It was far enough so that I couldn't see inside but I still had a good view of the surroundings allowing me to see if she would try for another window. It felt good to activate my body, in a proper manner this time, and I could feel the endorphins ease my uncomfort. I made sure to keep an eye on the cabin just in case. It didn't seem probable that she would shower for that long but I gave her plenty of time, and more importantly plenty of space.

I stayed outside until I could hear a car approaching on the gravel road, and since I didn't have a visual of the vehicle from my position I quickly moved towards the road. I just hoped that Rose wouldn't use this moment of distraction to flee. As soon as I verified that it was just Spiridon returning I hurried back to the cabin wanting to make sure that she was still here. I opened the door slightly and announced myself in case she still wasn't decent. "Rose, I'm coming in."

I heard the bedroom door open and assumed it was clear and stepped in. She was dressed in the same t-shirt I had given her and she had her long hair in a braid over her shoulder. Her hair was even darker after the shower, almost black, and the bruise on her face was healing nicely. She didn't look me in the eye and her cheeks were still a bit flustered, which quickly made me abandon any further thoughts about her appearance. I had no right to think about her in any other way than a person who needed my aid, someone who had suffered a trauma. It shouldn't matter that she was the one I'd spent the last decade searching for. Even if it felt like I knew her, we were really strangers and I shouldn't have exposed myself like that to her. My scolding of myself and my earlier actions got interrupted by Spiridons entrance.

"Oh honey, I'm home."

He was carrying several bags from Лентa, a Russian hypermarket chain, with food and clothes for Rose. I decided that I would finish my shower now, knowing that Spiridon would keep an eye on her.

"Rosie, did I guess your size right?" Spiridon said and he turned around in the passenger seat. My gaze snapped to Rose, watching her from the rearview mirror.

A look of hate flickered on her face before she said "Don't call me that."

"Oh, she speaks!" he mocked, and completely ignored the fact that it was obvious that she wasn't in the mood for banter. "I was beginning to think that the cat got your tongue. What should I call you then?"

She looked exactly as I often felt in Spiridon's company, and I had to bite down in order not to smile. A part of me was hoping that Spiridon would break the ice, to get her out of her shell a little bit. After all, he wasn't the one who had paraded naked in front of her and scared her to death. She stayed silent, but I knew Spiridon wouldn't let her be just yet. "If you won't say what you want me to call you I'll just have to come up with something, and I'm not really sure you want that."

She didn't look like she cared at all. I was thinking about intervening, but I wanted to hear her reply. I wanted her to say her name, even though I already knew it. I felt like I needed the confirmation. Spiridon looked thoughtful as the silence stretched on. "I'll have to think about something to call you then."

Another moment of silence passed, and she looked grateful for it, staring out the window into the dark night trying to ignore Spiridon who was still looking at her.

"Hey I've been meaning to ask. Why did you call me douchebag?" he chuckled, pleased with his new nickname. Rose's lips were pressed into a thin line, and it was clear that she had no intention of humoring him. Her gaze briefly flickered to him and she rolled her eyes before watching out the window again. "All right then, keep your secrets," he said and turned around again, sulking. I knew it was mostly for show. Mostly.

"Secrets?" Rose huffed, and it was clear that she was seething. "You came in the middle of the night and kidnapped me, forced me into a car, then you say that you're saving me without really explaining anything. You expect me to believe anything you say when you scheme in Russian all the time. You haven't even told me who you are saving me from." She glared at Spiridon, and her eyes then flicked to me. "Secrets, my ass. You're the ones keeping secrets."

She was of course absolutely right. It was hard to keep the guardian mask on as I grit my teeth, trying to stop myself from telling her what we knew.

We had been driving for most of the night, Spiridon fast asleep next to me as I focused on the road. Rose was also drifting in and out of sleep. Spiridon and I agreed that we would drive as much as possible tonight to get further away from the Institution, and sleep in the tent for a couple of hours. Or rather, Rose would sleep in the tent, I didn't think she would be all too comfortable if either one of us joined her. I was still disappointed in myself that I had imposed on her like that earlier, so soon after she had gone through sexual abuse. I knew I had to put as much distance as I could between us, but it would be hard since she was still trying to slip through our fingers every chance she got. Not that I could blame her for trying to escape us.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Rose had said earlier.

We still hadn't revealed much to Rose, and I cursed Arthur's command in my mind. He made clear that we were not to reveal anything to Rose until we knew more about the security breach. Even though the search for her had consumed my life for ten years, I still had a strong sense of duty. I knew that the reason Arthur didn't want us to give her intel was in case she was taken again, and that could put other lives at risk. She could easily be compelled or forced in another way to give out information. A knot formed in my stomach thinking about the other ways she could be forced to tell what she knew, and I quickly pushed those thoughts aside.

Instead I thought about my last phone call with Arthur. According to him, all of the children we had rescued from the Ardeal Institution had disappeared again. Even as they were sent to different rehabilitation centers all over the world, and some were returned to their loved ones, somehow someone got their hands on them. I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white. I didn't want to believe that every single one of the ones we rescued from the Ardeal Institution were missing again, that they were taken again.

My heart ached and it was hard to breathe thinking about those children. We had worked so hard, tried so hard, to give those children a second chance, and we thought we had succeeded. But that chance was stolen from them, and we were back to square one.

The ones that were behind it had inside information, someone who was at the very center of the Division. Not even Spiridon and I knew all the locations, yet somehow even the guardians that were captured were now gone. I swallowed hard as I knew exactly who could be behind this. And those were the very reason Court would be the most dangerous place of them all for Rose.

I knew we would have to get Rose out of the country at some point, but I didn't know how we would manage to pull that off without alerting the wrong people. It was especially hard since we didn't know exactly who our enemy was. I was convinced the network of crimes went deeper and further than we could ever imagine. Even in Baia someone had ratted us out, leading them straight to our doorstep. I was almost certain who it had been, but we never had any proof. Just like I was certain of who was behind all of this, but again, I had no proof and it was too dangerous to voice out the suspicions.

Our earlier phone call was brief, but I was grateful that Arthur took the time to make sure we could secure Rose instead of bringing her to the safehouse. We had come up with the whole concept of safehouses after Ardeal. After the raid of the Ardeal Institution, the transfer of the children had proven to be chaotic. It was clear that it only caused unnecessary discomfort and stress to them moving them to Court straight away. The children had been overwhelmed, and we all agreed that it was best to let them adjust for a couple of days before putting them on an airplane. Since Court hadn't seemed all too prepared for our arrival, we also figured that it would allow them extra time to come up with accomodations for the children before we had a plan for their rehabilitations.

I didn't think Arthur had a plan for all the other children we rescued a couple of nights ago, and a part of me wanted to help them. But right now our job was to keep Rose safe and hide her. And it was something I took very seriously.

Rose POV

Douchebag was cursing under his breath as he was putting up the tent. I felt the urge to snicker, but managed to keep a straight face.

The sun would probably make its appearance in a few hours. We had driven all night long, only stopping at an unmanned gas station twice. I looked down at my clothes and felt quite content. No longer wearing Dimitri's clothing or the nightgown, and I felt more secure in my sweatpants and hoodie that were somewhat my size. My shoes were a size too big, but it didn't matter so much with the thick socks they had given me. I would never take panties for granted again, thankful that they had included a pair since a bra had apparently slipped their minds. They had also given me a jacket that kept the wind at bay, keeping me warm in this cold climate. The longer we drove, the colder it seemed to get, and I was wondering if we were heading north. I had no sense of direction though, so it was only a guess. Most of the car ride I'd been asleep, exhausted despite resting a lot.

Dimitri was somewhere, probably scouting the area. The thought of him immediately brought up the image of his glistening wet, toned body. My cheeks heated and I stared down at my shoes, pushing the unwanted images away. I had never seen anyone like him. The internal conflict was tearing at me, and I was an absolute mess. The rational part of me decided that I was right to be absolutely terrified of him. But seeing him in only his towel, and then without his towel, did something to me. Something that I didn't even understand completely.

"Your castle awaits, princess." I turned around and looked at douchebag, who was bowing down slightly and gestured towards the opening of the tent with his hand.

That man was so annoying. "Don't call me that," I answered with a cold voice. He didn't mind, probably enjoying my reaction. "Well if I can't call you Rosie or princess, what should I call you then? If I'm douche, maybe you can be douchette then?" he asked with a teasing tone.

"It's douchebag, not douche." I said drily, and his laugh broke through the silent night. I knew that he just wanted me to say my name, but I felt like I had very little power or control in this whole situation. And I wasn't going to let go of the very little control I actually had, so my name would remain solely mine. Not entirely true, a voice in the back of my mind reminded me. Dimitri seemed to know that my name was Rose, and it worried me. How much had he and Moore talked?

I looked at the small opening to the tent, and my neck prickled with fear. I didn't want to get into the tent, worried that this guardian would follow me there. So instead I stood still, lowering my gaze once more to the ground.

"Jeez, you're making me feel like a creep. I'm not going to harm you. Look, there's only one sleeping bag inside," he said and seemed sincere. I peeked inside the tent and saw that he was telling the truth. "Dimitri will sleep outside, and I will patrol the area. You have nothing to be afraid of. The tent is all yours."

We stared at each other, sizing each other up. I stood a little taller, trying to shake off the feeling of nervousness. I would not let these men intimidate me. I knew that wasn't true, but at least I would pretend not to be intimidated. I only had to play meek until they let their guard down so that I could escape, but the more time I spent with them the harder it was to be a compliant and docile girl. It had been the same at the Institution, I couldn't understand how Meredith just rolled with everything when I struggled so much to be like her.

I heard footsteps behind me and felt his presence before he spoke. "All clear," Dimitri said and came over to us. His voice was deep and the way he rolled his R made those unwanted images pop up in my brain again.

They started talking in Russian, which made me uneasy. I didn't like not knowing what they were scheming. Instead of standing there like an idiot, waiting for them to finish their precious conversation, I turned around and started walking towards an area with bushes. I only took a few steps before I felt Dimitri behind me, the hairs on the back of my neck reacting to his proximity. It wasn't in a bad way, only it confused me. I didn't understand my reaction at all.

Before he said anything I turned around and looked at him, my face passive.

"I need to pee. Do you want to watch, or perhaps even assist?" I challenged him. He immediately backed away, an apologetic look on his face. Douchebag chuckled.

They gave me some privacy, and I briefly wondered if this could be my chance. But I knew Dimitri would only catch me if I bolted, his tall, stupid legs giving him impossible speed. I always thought I was fast, but that man proved I had a long way to go. My body was still aching, and I was tired despite sleeping so much in the car. With heavy steps I walked back to the tent, slipping inside it without a word to them. My fingers were struggling with the zippers of the tent, and suddenly Dimitri hunched down in front of the opening. I tried not to react but I still gasped and flinched back.

"I'm right outside if you need anything," he said in a low voice, and I wasn't sure if it was a promise or a threat. His face didn't reveal any emotions, but I could sense his sadness underneath the guardian mask. He helped me close the opening of the tent, and just before zipping up he spoke so low I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it. "Sleep well, Rose." I didn't answer.