Chapter 22 - The Sickness

Present day - March

Dimitri POV

I opened the car door and stepped out into the cold night, panting for fresh, untainted air. The last fifteen minutes had been almost excruciating next to Rose. Maybe it would've been better to sit up front next to Spiridon, but I was worried and I wanted to be able to check her pulse and make sure she wasn't burning up or freezing. For the last two miles we drove with all the windows open, letting in the fresh air. It seemed that her scent was triggering something primal in us.

It took everything in me not to succumb to the urge to ravish her.

We quickly secured the place we had found, a cabin that was very similar to the one we slept in the first night. Although this one was clearly a step up, better equipped, with one bigger bedroom and a smaller one. I was surprised that we couldn't find any signs of surveillance, that the cabin wasn't secured with alarms or anything. It was just what we needed. We were even pleasantly surprised by the hot water from the taps, expecting the same freezing temperatures as in the first cabin.

Spiridon went inside to make the bed for Rose in the bigger bedroom. We weren't sure if we could stay in the same cabin, in separate rooms, or if we needed more space between us and Rose. If necessary, we would sleep outside as long as we needed, taking shifts and patrolling the surrounding area.

I walked over to the car and opened Rose's door slightly. With my other hand I steadied her, preventing her from losing her balance as she'd been leaning against the door. I pushed her back into her seat, and grazed her forehead, pleased to note that she wasn't as warm anymore. She leaned into my touch again, a gesture so different from her earlier timidness and fear. I knew she would probably regret it once she was feeling better. My hand tingled, it felt like a current radiating from her skin. Rose. Roza.

I leaned closer and inhaled, completely engulfed by the spell she was casting. My pants were again starting to get painfully constrictive.

I wanted more.

I needed more.

My hand moved down her face, cupping her cheek on its own accord. My thumb gently stroked the outline of her bruise, embracing the tingling feeling of my touch. Roza. Roza. Roza.

My mind was consumed, her name a mantra that kept repeating itself. A prayer. A chant. A calling.

She opened her eyes and looked up at me. For a brief moment, almost impossible to register, fear flashed in her eyes before they drooped down again, and she moaned.

I jerked my hand away. Shit. Not Roza, Roza, Roza - rape, rape, rape I scolded myself. I was not a rapist, I would not harm her. I was raised to be a good man, to respect and protect women. I knew she didn't want me to be close to her, not really. Something was making her sick and calling to us, but it wasn't real. Fuck, it did feel very real though.

She had already gone through so much, and I refused to become another Moore in her life.

Spiridon came back and took my distressed appearance in. "I see that the not-so-little-Dimitri has decided to join us again?" he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. Typical Spiridon to joke even in a situation like this.

I looked down at the noticeable bulge and groaned, turning away from him. I was so ashamed of myself and the way my body was betraying me. "It's just- I can't be near her. I have no control," I said through gritted teeth. "You need to get her inside, I really can't be close to her."

Spiridon looked skeptical. "Look man, out of us two you are much better at keeping it in your pants. Surely you can't trust me with her?" he said with raised eyebrows. Shit. He had a point, I wouldn't trust him with her, but I didn't trust myself either.

"We need a plan or something. Maybe we should time each other and come in to interrupt if either of us stays with her for too long?" I suggested.

Spiridon contemplated it for a while before he answered. "I think there's a risk that we'll just sandwich her between us or something, like Emil and Vinny almost did in Romania to that girl." I cringed, but he ignored me and continued. "If I'm going to have a ménage à trois, I'd rather all participants be in it willingly. And truth to be told you wouldn't be my first pick for one either."

I didn't even want to think about what he was suggesting that could happen, but he was right. We could both lose control with her, and I couldn't let that happen.

"Shower, I need a shower," Rose said from behind, barely a whisper. "Please, I just need to shower to feel better."

Spiridon backed up a few steps. "Hell no, you foul temptress. Not falling for that trap. You're keeping your clothes on," he said and grinned. It was so much easier to think now that we stood outside, and he was back to his usual self. Rose slowly got out of the car, and Spiridon made a cross with his two index fingers and muttered something about demons. Just as he did the Catholic cross with his right hand, Rose took one step before stumbling, and I was quick to catch her and prevent her from getting hurt. I tried to steady her but it was clear that she wouldn't be able to stand, not even with my support. I placed one arm under her knees and scooped her up, my other arm under her back pressing her against me. Damn it felt good.

"Didn't know you were so religious" I muttered under my breath as I walked past him towards the cabin, and he chuckled as he followed us. Rose was pressing herself against me, her nose against my chest. She inhaled deeply and looked so incredibly happy. Did she like the way I smelled or something? I couldn't help but draw in the essense of her as well, and I could feel my whole body reacting. A strange calmness came over my mind, a sharp and confusing contrast to my body's reaction. Almost like a haze.

"It's not everyday you meet temptations only the devil could have sent" he joked. He was right. Temptation couldn't even begin to describe the feeling of her small figure in my arms, how she leaned against me like I was the only thing that mattered in this world, how happy and safe she seemed to feel in my arms. How she seemed to radiate something- something out of this world. I just knew I wanted more. I pulled her closer against my body as I walked into the cabin.

I wanted more.

I needed more.

Hell, I was going to get more.

I groaned when I realized where my thoughts had gone again. More was not an option, whatever that would mean. More was the same as rape, I reminded myself. More made me just as animallike as Moore had been.

More was the same as Moore.

I hated myself for thinking that she seemed safe in my arms, very well knowing that in this moment I was the most dangerous thing to her.

With long strides I walked into the bedroom Spiridon had prepared, and laid her down on the bed. I hovered above her, staring down at her. She looked so damn beautiful when she curled up on the bed, her thick hair a halo around her face. Maybe she wasn't the devil, maybe she was an angel. She sure looked like one. I had never seen anyone like her, no one that came close to her beauty and spirit that felt like it was causing my heart to ache. I couldn't help the urge and I leaned closer to her, my hand moving without permission. More. I needed more.

"Belikov."

Spiridon's voice was harsh. My hand stilled mid-air and I looked back. He stood in the door opening to the cabin and looked pissed off. "Back the fuck away from her." He punctuated each word. "Don't make me come in there," he said and made a remarkably accurate impression of my babushka. The thought of all the times babushka chewed out Spiridon or myself was sobering. I straightened up and I turned around, away from temptation incarnated. Away from what would surely be my doom, and hers.

"Please don't leave me," her voice a desperate whisper.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips and I stopped in the door opening. I looked back over my shoulder. It pained me to see how vulnerable she looked, how pleading her eyes were. But I knew she didn't want me to stay, not really. Something was making her want it, and I wouldn't break her.

"I'm sorry, I just- I just can't."

Rose POV

My skin was on fire. It was a fire I would never get used to, no matter how many times I would go through it. It was like I was hyper alert of how the sheets felt against my body, the softness of the cotton against my burning skin. It wasn't that it was as painful as some of the earlier times, but it left me with wanton.

But I didn't know what I wanted, what I needed. Cold showers would normally only momentarily ease the flames on my skin. The feel of cool satin or cotton would only reveal a fraction of the promised relief.

I clutched Dimitri's t-shirt harder and inhaled his intoxicating smell. It soothed me, comforted me in ways I didn't think was possible. I mean, it was only a piece of clothing. But it was more than I had had at the Institution.

His scent seemed to fill me up, to take over my thoughts, my entire being. I had never experienced anything like it. A coiling sensation made its appearance in my lower stomach, a pleasant throb replacing the feeling of cramps.

I turned to my side and wished that I could ignore the discomfort in my lower stomach. Although right now it wasn't too bad since the cramps subsided with each inhale of the wonderful, core-filling scent of Dimitri.

I must've dozed off, but I woke up when someone opened the bedroom door. I popped up on my elbow and looked around, still groggy. My eyes squinted, adjusting to the dim light of the bedroom.

Dimitri stepped in, wearing only a towel around his waist. Water droplets covered his bare body, and I gasped as I took in his form. This man was a God, a beautiful Russian God. I couldn't help but stare, helplessly stare at his chiseled muscles. I couldn't even begin to fathom the amount of time and effort that were behind them, to understand the power and strength this man possessed. His chest revealed some dark strands of hair, water glistening in the dim lighting as the droplets caved to gravity.

I didn't know what to do so I got up and stood by the bed feeling unsteady.

I had never seen anything like him. Igor was nothing compared to this man in front of me. I was too dumbfounded to be embarrassed as I continued to stare at him. My mouth was probably open as my gaze followed one water droplet that trailed down his beautiful body, until it reached his lower, well-defined stomach and disappeared into a trail of dark hair leading down to an area still covered by the towel. The towel hung dangerously low and I gulped.

"Rose."

His voice was dark and husky, the rolling of his R in that single word wandered straight into my lower stomach, aching, pulsing, throbbing. He walked over to me and my mouth was dry. He stopped in front of me, his hard chest level with my eyes. I licked my lips, but didn't look up at his face. If I did, I knew I'd be a lost cause. Wasn't I lost already?

"Rose," he said again in a low voice. His scent was all around me, his whole essence devouring me. I felt his hands on my arms, traveling upwards, lightly grazing my skin, leaving a trail of tingling electricity behind. His hands trailed up to my shoulders, to my neck. Up until they were almost cupping my face. So tender, so gentle. But so decisive. It felt as if he knew exactly what he wanted, and it became increasingly clear that what he wanted was me.

Another desperate throb ripped through my lower body. My cheeks heated.

His thumbs tipped up my chin ever so lightly and carefully, and I was looking into his deep brown eyes. If I thought I was lost before, it had been nothing compared to now. He smiled, the corner of his eyes crinkling. His gaze was smoldering, flickering to my lips. He licked his lips, leaving a mark of glistening temptation on them. My heart skipped a beat when he lowered his head towards me. But instead of going in for my lips, he turned my head slightly, one hand trailing down to my neck and he kissed me under my ear.

"Tell me what you like, and by the time I'm done with you I guarantee you'll love it" he whispered against my ear, his hot breath fanning my skin.

I couldn't think. I barely even knew how to breathe. "I- I don't know what I like" I managed to stutter.

I could feel his stubble against my cheek, the motion of his smile grazing my skin.

"Why don't I tell you what I like then?" he murmured, and I couldn't help the reflex to look down at the ground. My heart was pounding, and every nerve in my body was aware of his almost naked body so close to me. A part of me dreaded the moment he would drop his towel, a part of me almost growled in frustration. I was a mess.

The hand on my neck snaked into my hair. I felt his fingers grab my hair, and he pulled down slightly so that my face lifted again to meet his expecting lips. I gasped when I felt his lips against the corner of my mouth, his grip steady, keeping me in place. My knees were weak, and I wasn't sure how much more my heart would take.

"Or even better, why don't I show you what I like?" he whispered against my lips.

I jerked awake.

Whoah.

I looked around in the room, my heart pounding. I was alone in the bedroom.

Where the fuck did that dream come from? My subconscious had conjured a perfect image of Dimitri's naked frame from my memory, and infused it into what felt like the most real dream in my entire life. I blushed furiously when I felt how damp I was between my legs, and how a thin sheet of sweat covered most of my body. Fuck, I needed a cold shower for two reasons.

I looked down and saw that I was still clutching Dimitri's shirt. Where had that come from? A throbbing feeling ached all over my lower stomach, more noticeable than before. I was burning up again, and so thirsty. I groaned when I sat up by the edge of the bed, getting ready to stand up. I needed something to drink, and then I needed that shower.

Carefully, I placed my feet on the ground, relishing how cold the floor felt. I stood up, swaying a bit but luckily not losing my balance. I took a tentative step towards the bedroom door that was closed. I briefly wondered if Dimitri and douchebag were still here, although I didn't know if I wanted them here or not. Dimitri's, and as mortifying as it was to admit, even douchebag's touch and presence seemed to ease my discomfort. The scent of Dimitri soothing me in a way that I've never felt before. I opened the bedroom door and peaked out into the empty room.

I wasn't sure if I was happy or not to find the room empty, but managed to find the bathroom with wobbly steps.

I felt the bed shift as someone's weight pressed down the mattress. I was too tired to shield away. I felt someone try to take away the shirt I was clutching, and I clung onto it harder. Gentle but decisive fingers pried mine open until I released it, and a disappointed moan escaped my lips. I felt a hand lift me up slightly, supporting my back, and someone brought a glass to my lips. I gulped greedily, relishing the feel of the water clenching my thirst.

I recognized Dimitri's scent when he lowered me back onto the mattress, leaning over me slightly. His presence washed over me, and it was heaven. I immediately felt better feeling him close to me, his wonderful, intoxicating scent whirling around me.

I opened my eyes enough and saw his strained face, his dark eyes filled with concern. He took my hand and placed something soft in it, gently closing my fingers around the fabric. Another shirt. His hand stayed on top of mine for a moment, until I faintly heard someone calling for him and he released it with a slight squeeze. I clutched the shirt and brought it up to my chest, inhaling deeply with closed eyes. A better shirt.

The last thing I remembered was the faint smile on my lips as his hand gently stroked my forehead, his hand cool against my burning skin.