Chapter 2

The Idea

A few miles away from Fort Courage, the Hekawi camp was in full swing. Chief Wild Eagle stood overseeing as crates were filled with newly made souvenirs by the Indian squaws. His rugged red face smiled satisfactorily as he watched. Business was good and there would be a big profit by the end of the month. Plus, O'Rourke's saloon in town had been doing more than moderately well the last few weeks and the still had been in full swing also. As the only supplier for miles around, that one was a sure bet for a good chunk of profits.

Satisfied that all was going smoothly here, Wild Eagle turned away and strutted back through the rows of teepees. In the middle of the encampment he spotted his assistant chief, Crazy Cat, sitting on a stump with a small crude table before him. On the table was an open leather book he was writing in.

As Wild Eagle approached, Crazy Cat looked up. "How things look?" he asked.

"Just finish putting new entries in accounts," Crazy Cat answered. "This be best moon Hekawi have yet. Souvenirs production up 30% and already have 25 more cases of firewater ready."

Wild Eagle nodded in approval, then added, "With how business been lately, better have braves work overtime on still. Don't want to run out. Always better to have extra."

"When Sergeant O'Rourke come pick up next load?"

"When was last time he make buy?"

Crazy Cat consulted the books. "Two days ago. Buy 30 cases."

Wild Eagle crossed his arms as he thought. "30 cases over two days. Should be running pretty dry by now. Expect he make pick-up any day."

"Right, Chief." Crazy Cat closed the book.

"You make sure all figures correct?" Wild Eagle asked.

"Of course. Double check everything."

"You not double check them in your favor, right?"

Crazy Cat looked shocked. "Why, Chief! You think I, assistant Chief, fix books? You think I do such a thing? I learn under your wise guidance."

"That why I suspect it."

"Assure you books in order."

"Good. Then not mind if I check them later."

Crazy Cat thought a moment. "You know, Chief, never can be too careful. Numbers can be tricky. Better me triple check before you read."

Wild Eagle nodded with a scowling frown. "That what I thought." He pointed back the way he came. "Go make sure squaws keep packing souvenirs."

"Right, Chief."

"And watch where you set down souvenirs. Last night when I go to smoke pipe it start blowing bubbles."

Crazy Cat looked down sheepishly. "Sorry, Chief. I be more careful." He scurried off through the teepees.

There was a gallop of horse hooves and two men rode into the camp. It was O'Rourke and Agarn. They rained in their horses and dismounted.

Wild Eagle raised a hand as they came up. "How, O'Rourke. How, Agarn."

"Oh we're doin' fine, thanks for asking, Chief," Agarn replied. Then after a second of thought, "Well maybe not too well, come to think of it. I've had these pains–"

"Agarn, don't start up with your imaginary illnesses again," O'Rourke interrupted.

"But, Sarge, this is really for real. I think those guys broke some of my ribs."

"Just be tough."

"How could you know anything about it? You didn't even get wrapped once!"

Wild Eagle looked from one to another in confusion. "What this you talking about?"

O'Rourke flipped a hand. "We were having a few medical drills at the fort today and let's just say things didn't go as smoothly as planned."

"Our medicine man once do same thing," Wild Eagle said. "Say he have nothing to do. No one come to him to get healed, only to have him fix broken tom-toms. Him very good at that. So he start teaching medicine man classes. Give him something to do."

"Did it work?" Agarn asked.

"In way. Students couldn't get hang of it. Kept doing things wrong. After him teach classes, had so many patients that him have to take vacation in Connecticut."

"Well, that's what happened to me. A victim of our own troop." Agarn groaned, rubbing his sore ribs. "It was a traumatic experience."

Wild Eagle gestured them towards the camp. "You come have new firewater fresh from still. Look at new souvenirs that just come off assembly line. You feel better."

O'Rourke waved a hand. "No time for that now. We've got something more important to discuss."

"Something more important than making money?" Wild Eagle looked at Agarn. "Him been feeling alright?"

"This is about money," Agarn answered. "Just in a … different sorta' way."

Wild Eagle looked relieved. "Good. For a minute there thought he going straight."

O'Rourke turned to Wild Eagle dolefully. "Look, chief, I'm afraid you're gunna have to stop production on the souvenirs and firewater for a while."

"But business doing good. What happen?"

"Well, it's just that there's a snoop Major coming out here from Washington to check up on the friendly relations between us and the Indians."

Wild Eagle moaned. "Always with the checking up on the Indians. Don't they know we at peace? Don't they read reports Captain Parmenter send in?"

Agarn nodded with a roll of his eyes. "Yeah, but you know how those guys up in Washington are."

Wild Eagle shook his head. "No, I don't. How they?"

"Oh, well it's just that they're never completely satisfied with a report till they see things for themselves."

"How you know?"

"The captain told me."

"He ever met one before?"

"Well, no…"

"Then how he know?"

"Hold it!" O'Rourke's voice cut in. "We're not gunna go through that again!" He stepped between them. "Chief, we're going to have to move all our souvenir stock till this major leaves."

"That a switch," Wild Eagle said with surprise. "Usually have to stash supply here."

"Yeah, I know, but with business being so good and all this extra stuff we've been making to keep up, he's bound to spot some of it while he's here."

"But never have problem when paleface troublemakers come before. Just put things out of sight on other side of camp."

"Yeah, but this guy's different. He not just coming to just powwow around a campfire. He wants a whole tour of the camp, an induction ceremony – the works."

Wild Eagle moaned again. "And always with the wanting induction ceremonies. Don't people realize how much they cost?"

O'Rourke waved a hand. "Don't worry. I'll cover anything extra."

"That good, but if palefaces keep becoming honorary part of tribe, pretty soon palefaces outnumber redskins."

Agarn thought hard. "Say, Chief, if that happened, would it still be called a tribe?"

Wild Eagle shook his head. "Not know. Me wonder that too." The two stared skyward as they pondered the thought.

O'Rourke pulled the conversation back to important matters. "Chief, about the souvenirs. Have you got any new items made?"

Wild Eagle nodded. "Just finishing new batch of medicine man ceremonial rain dance masks, also batch of blankets."

"Alright, once they're finished with those have them pack 'em up and tell 'em to take a break for a couple of days."

Agarn turned to O'Rourke. "But what about the still?"

"We'll just have to pack that up too. We'll take what cases the chief has on hand right now and pack them up too. That major shouldn't be here long so the supply we have at the saloon should hold out fine until he leaves." O'Rourke turned to Wild Eagle. "Now, let's go see about calling off production."

Wild Eagle placed a hand on his chest. "Please, not have to say it. Hurt enough already as it is."

An hour later, the three men stood observing as the newly finished souvenirs, along with all others, were carefully packed by the other Indians in crates and piled nearby. Also the still was disassembled and packed away along with cases of whisky. Slowly, the pile of crates grew larger and larger.

"Boy," O'Rourke mumbled. "There's more there than I thought."

"Told you things were going good," Wild Eagle said. He sighed, "That always seem to be when it go bad."

Agarn spoke to the sergeant without looking, face clouded. "I told you that you shouldn't say nothing could happen while our luck was good."

O'Rourke frowned as he looked at their long faces. "You two act like we're going out of business forever. This is only going to be temporary."

It was Agarn's turn to frown, but in puzzlement. "Sarge, I've been wondering, just where are we going to put all these souvenirs until that major does leave?"

O'Rourke sighed as he folded his arms across his chest. "We'll have to stash 'em someplace else for the time being. Someplace where the major won't see 'em."

"But where?"

There was a long moment of silence. O'Rourke rubbed his chin, staring at the stack.

"Well?" Agarn prodded.

"I'm thinkin'. Just give me a minute."

Another moment of silence. Then the sergeant's face shifted subtly and his eyes narrowed to slits.

"What is it, Sarge? What are you thinking?" Agarn asked with growing anticipation. He rubbed his hands together with a smile. "I can see one of your good ideas forming right now."

O'Rourke didn't answer directly as he gazed into empty space. "If the major is going to come here," he muttered, pointing a finger straight down at the ground. "Then that means he won't be spending a lot of time there."

Anticipation began to shift to uneasiness when Agarn saw the look beneath those slits. The smiled grew lopsided. "There? What there?" He laid a hand on the sergeant's arm. "Now just wait a minute, Sarge. I know that look. What are you thinking?"

O'Rourke nodded to himself. "It might work," he said slowly. "It just might work. We'll stash the stuff where the major won't be most of his time, and I think I know where that place is."

"Where?" Agarn dared to ask, somehow knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

There was a beat of silence before the sergeant answered. "Fort Courage."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Agarn exploded. "It's hard enough keeping what we have in our NCO club a secret! Now you want to bring the entire stock there?!"

O'Rourke nodded. "Right."

Agarn looked as though he could pop. "You can't be serious, Sarge! Even if we did, it'll never all fit in our NCO club! It's bustin' at the seams right now!"

"So we hide it someplace else."

"Just where are you going to hide over fifty boxes outta sight from the captain on the post?!"

O'Rourke thought a second then lit up. "We can stash the stuff in the barn with the horses. No one'll think to look there."

Agarn shook his head vigorously. "I don't like it, Sarge! It'll never work!"

"Me agree," Wild Eagle quipped, crossing his arms.

O'Rourke scowled at the chief before turning back to Agarn. "It won't be for long." He bent his knees slightly so he could look his shorter friend in the eye. "When this major sees that the Indian's are friendly, he'll have nothing more to do but leave. Once he does, we smuggle the stuff back here and we're back in business."

Agarn didn't look convinced. He hemmed and hawed for a while. "Well … I don't know, Sarge. Sounds a little risky to me. What if this major catches us with all this stuff on the post?"

"He won't. Not if we're careful. Trust me, it'll work." O'Rourke tried to assure him.

"Weeeeeeell …"

O'Rourke put a hand on Agarn's shoulder. "Buddy. Pal. When have I ever let you down?"

Wild Eagle leaned toward Agarn. "Want me to start making list for you?" O'Rourke shot him a dark look and the chief backed off.

Agarn gave a relenting sigh. "Well, alright, Sarge. I don't see anything else we can do. But how do we get them into the fort?"

"That's easy. You heard Wrangler say that she wanted to have a picnic with the captain, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we get him to go and then we bring the stuff in."

"When do we do that?"

"Tomorrow morning. We'll get the captain out of the way, bring a wagon up here, load the stuff on, take it back to the fort, and stash it before the major arrives the next day."

Agarn nodded nervously. "Sounds easy enough."

O'Rourke patted him on the back. "Sure it'll be. C'mon, we best be getting back to the fort." He turned to Wild Eagle. "Just make sure you have all those souvenirs in boxes and ready by tomorrow afternoon."

Wild Eagle nodded. "You got it, O'Rourke. But warning you, if this not work and they come asking me questions; never hear of you before."

O'Rourke glowered. "Can always count on your friends in times of trouble," he jeered sarcastically.

Wild Eagle shrugged. "What partners for?"

It was a few seconds to 5:00 when O'Rourke and Agarn rode through the front gate of Fort Courage. They saw the other troopers gathering near the flagpole for evening retreat. Poor Captain Parmenter was rushing back and forth, trying to get them in some kind of a straight line, but the men kept dropping their rifles or trying to fix their uniform or some other odd thing. Parmenter was trying so hard, but by the time he got to one end of the line, the other end had become crooked again, and by the time he'd run back to fix that, the other side had fallen out again. After tying their horses in front of the noncoms' barracks, O'Rourke and Agarn hurried over to join.

Parmenter expressed relief when he saw them. "Oh, Sergeant! I'm glad you're back. Could you please give me a hand here?"

"Don't worry, sir. I'll have them straightened out in a minute," Agarn assured him. He took of his hat and ran at the men. He started at one end and worked his way across, bringing the hat down on each head with a loud and dusty whack. "Alright you men line up! You're in the army!" Five more smacks. "Shape-up there! This ain't a line dance so keep your feet still!" Slowly the line began to straighten, but there were still stragglers. "Sarge! You're going to have ta' do the rest!" Agarn yelled out as he continued whacking.

O'Rourke took his place beside Captain Parmenter. He took in a deep breath. "'TTEEEEENNNTTION!" The bellow boomed across the compound; and, even though expecting it, Parmenter jumped slightly.

Immediately, the troopers quieted down and straightened out in what could be considered a fairly decent line.

Agarn took his place next to O'Rourke. "All present, Sarge. I counted while I was lining."

O'Rourke turned to Parmenter. "All present and accounted for, captain."

"Very good, sergeant." The captain straightened up. "About face!" The men turned to face the flagpole. Parmenter gestured. "Lower the flag!"

A trooper broke off and ran over to the flagpole. He pulled at the rope and slowly the flag came down while Privet Dobbs played retreat on his bugle – although it sounded more like Yankee Doodle. The trooper untied the flag as the bugler finished, and the line managed spin back around to face their C.O. again without falling out of place.

Parmenter nodded in approval. "Fire the cannon."

Dobbs marched to the cannon very military-like and spun to face it. He struck a match and held it to the fuse. It sputtered as the flame caught and Dobbs quickly cringed back, covering his ears. The fuse burned down to the cannon. Sputtered. Fizzled. Went out. Dobbs uncurled himself and cautiously leaned closer. A small wisp of smoke curled up from the hole, but the powder didn't ignite.

O'Rourke turned to the corporal. "Agarn."

The corporal knew exactly what to do. He resolutely marched over to the cannon and pushed Dobbs aside. He looked at the fizzled fuse and saw it was out for good. In angry frustration, Agarn braced himself. Drawing his leg back, he swung it and kicked the wheel with all his might. The wheel shuddered under the impact and collapsed. The cannon fell on top and there was another shudder.

BOOM! CRACK! CRRREEEEAAAKK!

They all watched as the lookout tower began to topple. The trooper up top frantically scrambled for the edge and jumped just before it hit the ground.

CRASH! It fell in a splintering of wood. The echo of the cannon died away in the distance as the trooper picked himself up from the dirt. He staggered in a daze and spun twice before catching his balance.

Parmenter gave a deep sigh as he said wistfully, "Maybe someday …" He rotated back around to the line of troopers. "Well, start fixing it men. If you don't get if finished before dinner then … then just … finish it afterward." He turned to O'Rourke. "You may dismiss the troops now, Sergeant." He started back for his quarters.

"Troop dismissed! And Duffy, get a detail together and start puttin' that tower back up!" O'Rourke barked.

The men broke formation and Privet Duffy led a small group to the pile of wood as the rest slowly began to disperse. All except a certain sergeant and corporal.

Agarn pressed in close. "Sarge, when are you going to get to work on the captain?"

"Right now," O'Rourke answered softly.

"Want me to come along?"

"Naw, you just let me handle it. This shouldn't take too long."

"Right, Sarge. No one can handle the captain the way you do."

O'Rourke patted the corporal's shoulder. "It's all in the touch, my boy."

Agarn watched the sergeant quickly stride away. He frowned confusedly as he thought. He looked at his hands and mumbled, "In the touch? I always thought he did it by talking." He shrugged with a yawn and sauntered off towards the noncoms barracks for a snooze before dinnertime.

O'Rourke caught up with the captain just as he reached his quarters. "Oh, captain!"

At the call, Parmenter turned in the middle of stepping onto the porch. His foot came down abruptly, expecting to land on solid wood, and missed by a good inch. Suddenly off-balanced, his arms flailed wildly, but to no avail. The captain sat down hard on the porch with a grunt. O'Rourke rushed up and helped him back to his feet.

"I'm sorry about that, sir," O'Rourke apologized.

"No, no, it's alright, Sergeant." Parmenter grimaced as he rubbed the seat of his pants. "It wasn't your fault. I guess I missed the porch again."

"It would seem that way. Only goes to show I was right, sir."

"I guess so." Parmenter straightened himself up, pulling his shoulders back. He took a deep breath as he tried to recapture his military bearing, but instead his brow furrowed. "Right about what, Sergeant?"

"That you've been pushing yourself a bit much lately," O'Rourke casually answered, but with an observant eye on the captain.

"I have?"

"Well, it's not so much of something happening all at once, sir, but more of it happening over a long stretch of time. I mean, day in and day out, always having to keep yourself the perfect military officer in the eyes of your men. Always having to be alert and at your very peak. Always the kind but firm man that this town looks up to I mean, even a man of military steel can only take so much before he begins to feel the strain of command."

Parmenter's chin slowly came up and his chest swelled out. One brow quirked slightly. "I … see what you're saying."

O'Rourke continued. "You know, sir. I was thinking that it might be a good idea if you took Miss. Day up on her offer."

Again the captain's brow furrowed. "What offer?"

"About the picnic, sir. It'd really do ya' good. After all, the strain of command is … well … straining."

Parmenter nodded. "So true. But I don't know if I should with Major Chase coming."

O'Rourke continued to push. "I'll make sure that the men keep working, sir. There's not much left to do anyway and he won't be here till day after tomorrow. You could go tomorrow afternoon. Sort of get yourself unwound and rejuvenated for the major's arrival."

"Well …"

"It may be your last chance for a while to go on a nice quiet picnic. Just think, captain," O'Rourke went on in a dreamy way, "A lovely afternoon; the sun shining; birds singing overhead; the cool shade of the trees; a babbling little brook; a soft warm breeze; a lonely spot – a beautiful girl." He lightly elbowed the captain with a grin.

Parmenter's eyes were faraway, a smile spread across his face. "That does sound nice." He chuckled. "Very nice." He then turned to O'Rourke. "You know what, sergeant? I'll do it. After all, an officer isn't made up of military steel alone." He straightened his neckerchief knot suavely.

O'Rourke gave a light laugh along with the captain. "Glad to hear it, sir. And don't you worry about a thing here. You just enjoy yourself."

"I'll go let Jane know right now." Parmenter scurried off without even waiting for the sergeant to salute. His step sprang lightly as he walked toward town.

O'Rourke watched him go with a smug smile. He saluted the departing figure as he said under his breath, "Do enjoy yourself, sir." With a spring in his own step, he started off across the compound toward the barracks.

When he entered, the first thing he saw was Agarn. He had already made himself comfortable, stretched out on his bunk with his boots off, hands folded on his chest, eyes closed. He'd apparently been dozing, for when the door closed, he started slightly at the sound. Sleepily, he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked through half open eyes to see the sergeant standing at the door.

"How'd it go?" he yawned.

"Perfect, as usual," O'Rourke grinned as he came further in.

Agarn woke up at the news. "He's going?" he asked excitedly, sitting up.

"He's leaving for his picnic with Wrangler tomorrow afternoon. And we'll be leaving right after him."

"You did it again, Sarge!"

O'Rourke chuckled. "Yup." He unclipped his belt and holster and dropped them on his footlocker. He began to sit down on his bunk.

"Wait, Sarge!" Agarn abruptly said. "Stay right there for a moment."

O'Rourke straighten and turned to him. "What's the matter?"

Agarn stood up and circled his bunk, feet scuffing across the fur rug as he came up to the sergeant. "I just want to test something." He looked O'Rourke in the eyes and said softly, "I'd like a raise."

O'Rourke blinked. "A raise? I gave you a 75 cent raise last time I paid you your cut."

"But I'd really like another raise," Agarn began going on in a dreamy sort of way. "Just think how happy it'd make me. Just think how happy it'd make you to make me happy."

O'Rourke stared at him in bewilderment. "Have you flipped your lid?"

Agarn didn't seem to hear as he continued on with a contented look upon his face. "I'd be happy. You'd be happy. Just let me have that raise and we'll all be–" he touched O'Rourke on the arm. There was a sharp snap. "YEOW!" Agarn jumped back. He shook his hand rapidly, fingers tingling.

O'Rourke still stood next to his bunk, completely baffled.

"I didn't think it'd be like that!" Agarn howled as he flexed his hand.

"Agarn," O'Rourke said slowly. "What is the matter with you?"

Agarn wasn't listening. "What happened?! What'd I do wrong?!"

"You walked across the rug. You got shocked," the sergeant simply explained. "Now, will you just tell me what that was all that about?"

"You said you had the touch with the captain and all I wanted was to see if I had it too," Agarn whimpered, cradling his hand.

O'Rourke rolled his eyes with a shake of his head as it all became clear. "Well, I can assure you that yours has a most shocking effect. Now, go back to your bunk and finish your nap. We've got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow."