Chapter 4

Night Scheme

Unfortunately, O'Rourke and Agarn weren't able to get away from the captain or the major the rest of the evening. They were invited to have dinner with them and Wrangler Jane, where they silently listened to their captain reconfirm all their accounts of the Hekawis friendliness. That took all of dinner plus a half an hour more, and it was also planned that they would all go up to the camp the next day. Then afterward, they were once again compelled to sit through another long hour as Chase retold his tales of glory to Parmenter and Jane since they hadn't had the pleasure of hearing them the first time. Again, Agarn dozed against the sergeant's shoulder, but O'Rourke didn't try to wake him, even nodding off himself a time or two. Chase was too intent on his tales and the interest the captain and Jane were giving him, that he didn't notice anyway. The night was finally brought to a close when Chase announced that he must get some sleep. Goodnights were said and the major retired to the captain's quarters, which they were sharing for his stay, and Parmenter and Jane, along with O'Rourke and Agarn, stepped out onto the headquarters' porch. It was dark and the moon bathed the compound in a soft pale light.

"Well, goodnight men," Parmenter told them. "And sleep well. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow. I want to leave for the Hekawi camp as soon as I finish the tour of the fort we started today."

"Right, sir," O'Rourke answered. "We'll be ready for it."

"The trip or the tour?" Agarn muttered under his breath.

Parmenter nodded in approval. "Very good, Sergeant. Then I'll see you and Corporal Agarn in the morning."

"Goodnight, sir," O'Rourke and Agarn both answered with a salute.

They walked off as Parmenter escorted Jane to her store in town. She hung onto his arm as they walked along, enjoying the moonlight.

"Thanks for that good meal we had, Jane. I think that's the best you've made so far," the captain complimented.

"Thanks. I was hoping you'd like it." Jane smiled widely at him as she squeezed his arm. "You know, Wilton, we could make it so I wouldn't have to keep bringing it over to you all the time. And you could have my cookin' every single day."

Parmenter grinned at the thought and said absently, "That would be nice, but I don't think they'd allow a civilian women to live on the base."

Jane frowned with a huff. "Oh, Wilton," she grumbled. They walked in silence a while. She looked back at him and said casually, "Those sure were some thrillin' stories the major told, weren't they?"

"Yeah," Parmenter replied, not all that enthusiastic. He frowned slightly. "Seemed a little vain to me the way he kept charging to the rescue at the end of every single one."

"Well, I guess you just can't help it when you're a natural born hero," Jane said with a sly twinkle in her eye.

Parmenter cocked his head with a faint hint of a jealous scowl. "Oh? You think he's a natural hero?"

"Didn't you see all the medals on his uniform? You'd have to be a hero to get all those."

"Oh I don't know about that. I have a medal," Parmenter tried to impress as he puffed out his chest. "And I've done some heroic things in my time. Why, I can think of dozens of times I've risen to my duty's call."

Jane grinned. "Oh?"

"Yes. Why there's the time when … when …" He stumbled as he tried to think. "Well … then there's the time when – oh wait, that wasn't me. But there's many others. Like when … uh …"

Jane watched him fondly. "Wilton," she said softly.

Parmenter wasn't listening. "There was once when … no, skip that one actually … I think … no … and another time when … well …" He finally gave up in frustration by saying, "Well, there's dozens of times! I just can't seem to pull them all apart right now."

"Wilton," Jane said again as she cut in front of his path. She looked onto his eyes. "I think you're the bravest man that ever lived!" She threw her arms around his neck and smacked him a kiss on the lips.

Parmenter gave a slight gasp to catch his breath when she pulled back. "Whew! I thought only the hero's got rewards like that!"

Jane squeezed her Wilton tight. "You'll always be my hero!" She gave him another big kiss.

Parmenter laughed. "I must say it does have its advantages."

"Well, I guess I'll see you later, Wilton," Jane said as she let go of his arm.

It wasn't till now that Parmenter realized that they were in front of the trading post. He rushed onto the boardwalk ahead of her and opened the door to the store. He bowed slightly to usher her through, but as he came down and the door swung open, both accidentally met and it smacked him in the side of the face.

Jane rushed up as she worriedly asked, "Are you alright, Wilton?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine," the captain quickly replied, pressing a hand to his face.

"Here, let me help you," Jane said, throwing her arms around him again. She gave him another smacker.

"That's not where I bumped myself."

"It's a general remedy."

"Oh, I see," Parmenter grinned understandingly. "You know, I think it feels better already. Tell you what, if it doesn't get better soon, I'll come back over and you can give me another treatment."

Jane giggled. "It's a deal." She then turned to leave. "Night, Wilton," she said as she entered the store.

"Goodnight, Jane," the captain replied and watched the door close over her.

He took a deep breath of the fresh night air. Feeling quite perky at the moment, he strutted across the boardwalk and hopped down without using the steps. It may have turned out fine had he hopped closer to the edge. The rough ends of the wood planks scraped the back of his heel and calf – and smarted, even through a leather boot. Wincing, Parmenter bounced on one leg for a moment, holding onto the offended leg. With the gaiety of the moment a bit dampened, he slowly limped across the street back to the fort.

Late that night in the noncom's barracks, things weren't looking so bright. O'Rourke paced the floor, hands clasped behind his back, eyes narrowed in deep thought. Agarn sat on the edge of his bunk, fingers drumming at lightning speed. His eyes were squinting so hard they were almost closed as he chewed on his bottom lip.

O'Rourke paused and turned to him with a scowl. "Don't just sit there! Think!"

"I'm thinking! I'm thinking!" Agarn flung his arms over his head.

A moment more of pacing and O'Rourke's fist smacked into his palm. "There's got to be some way out of this. We were lucky before, but you can bet your boots it's not gunna happen again!"

"Sarge! I just thought'a somethin'!"

O'Rourke rushed up to him. "What?!"

Agarn frowned. "What is it I'm 'spose to be thinkin' of?"

O'Rourke looked up at the ceiling in frustration with fists clenched. In a low growl he muttered, "Sometimes I could just …" Taking a deep breath, he turned back to the confused corporal. "You're 'spose to be thinking up a way of keeping the major out of the barn or finding a way to keep the boxes outta sight!"

"Oh that's easy!" Agarn flipped a hand.

"Yeah? How?"

Agarn chewed on his fingernails. "When I think it up, I'll let you know."

O'Rourke shook his head as he took a seat on his own bunk across from Agarn. "Alright," he started calmly. "Let's try to think this out. First, let's try to think if there's any way that we can keep the major out of the barn."

Agarn thought a moment and snapped his fingers. "I got it! I'll tell him that I just mopped the floor!"

O'Rourke stared at him. "Are you kidding?"

"Why not? That always works to keep the others out when I mop a floor."

"That's a dirt floor, Agarn!"

Agarn thumped a fist on his knee. "You got a point there. If you mop a dirt floor you just get a lot of mud. It'd be against the point." He went back to chewing his nails.

"Problem is that the barn is the first place they'll be starting. So that doesn't give up much time," O'Rourke mumbled.

"Maybe we could convince the captain that he'd already showed the barn," Agarn suggested.

O'Rourke shook his head. "No good. Even if we could, we'd never be able to convince the major."

Agarn nodded grimly. "True. Anybody who could remember and repeat 19 stories twice has got to have a good memory."

O'Rourke shook his head again. "I don't think there's any way to keep him out. So our only other option is we'll have to hide the stuff. If they just see an empty wagon then there'll be no questions to ask."

"But how do we give them an empty wagon to see?"

"We'll have to stash 'em someplace else."

"But, Sarge, where can we hide that many boxes? We can't take them out of the fort without being seen and we don't have enough time to move them far away."

O'Rourke rubbed his chin. "I don't know yet. Let me think a minute." A long silence elapsed as both were lost in thought.

Agarn finally sighed in defeat. "I just don't see any way out of this one, Sarge."

O'Rourke reached over and patted the corporal's knee. "Don't give up yet, buddy."

"Maybe the cannon will hit him at reveille tomorrow," Agarn added sarcastically. "We've hit just about everything else. Shouldn't be too hard to hit one major."

Suddenly, O'Rourke straightened so quickly that Agarn jumped. His fingers snapped. "I got it!"

"Got what?"

O'Rourke leapt to his feet. "Why didn't I think of it before? The haystack! We can bury the stuff underneath! We just brought in a new load the other day, so they're'll be plenty to cover 'em all up!"

Agarn's face lit up. He jumped up and spread his arms out wide. "Sarge! That's brilliant! And we can just leave them there till the major leaves and he'll never even notice 'em!"

O'Rourke slapped Agarn on the arm. "Buddy, I got a feeling our luck may have just changed again."

Agarn grinned. "I think you're right! When do we start?"

"Right now." O'Rourke brushed by for the door. "C'mon, we'll sneak out and stash the stuff while it's still dark."

Agarn tugged on the sergeant's arm, pulling him to a stop. "But what about the lookout? Won't he spot us?"

O'Rourke grinned. "Don't worry about that. Just so happens I know Vanderbilt's on sentry duty right now. And he couldn't see dancing buffalo if it was right in front of his face, let alone two sneaky people like us." He snickered.

Agarn snorted into his hand. "Beautiful, Sarge. Beautiful!"

Cautiously, O'Rourke cracked the door open and peeked out into the darkness.

"How long do you think it'll take?" Agarn asked.

"'Bout an hour or so, I should think. If we really move that is."

"Don't worry about that, Sarge, I'm raring to go. I got caught up on my sleep."

"When?"

"When I listened to that major's stories the second time."

O'Rourke snickered. "Yeah, you were really out for a while there." He then motioned for Agarn to follow. "The coast is clear. Let's go."

Together they tiptoed out of the barracks and started quietly out in a beeline for the shadowed barn. Everything was completely still and peaceful. A coyote yipped from somewhere in the distance at the moon overhead as a few crickets chirped merrily. To one side they could see the captain's quarters, and to the other, the privets barracks, both dark and quiet just as they should be. It was nearly 1 am and everyone was snoozing away, completely unaware of the two men who made their way across the compound. Things did seem to be working just perfectly.

"INDIANS! INDIAN ATTACK!"

The two men froze. Again, Vanderbilt's high-pitched voice pierced the air from the lookout tower.

"Indian attack!" Agarn fumbled to get his revolver out, but it seemed to be caught in the holster. "Of all times why'd they have to pick now?!"

O'Rourke's head was twisting and turning, trying to find the trouble. "Yeah! While we're trying to save our business!"

"No! My gun's stuck!"

The hollering continued, but other than that all seemed quiet.

O'Rourke frowned. "I don't see any Indians!"

Suddenly the air exploded in a volley of shots and dirt kicked up near their feet. Agarn jumped with a sharp yelp.

"Cause we're the Indians!" O'Rourke grabbed Agarn and shoved him down. "Hit the ground!"

Both flattened as more bullets whistled over their heads.

"The first time he actually sees something it had to be now! And in the dark of all things!" O'Rourke growled into the dirt.

Again, bullets whistled and little puffs of dust exploded all around.

"And the first time he had to actually shoot straight! Maybe he sees better in the dark than in the day!" Agarn muffled back.

"Are you kidding?!"

"Well bats do!"

"Vanderbilt is no bat!" O'Rourke raised his head and peeked up at the tower. "But don't worry. As long as he keeps aiming at us we're safe."

Another bang sounded, a bullet whistled, and the sergeant's hat flipped off his head. It landed beside him, a small hole through the top of the crown.

"You were saying?" Agarn threw at him sarcastically.

"Shut up and keep your head down." He put the hat back on.

Lights suddenly flared up in the windows of the privets' barracks. Dobbs bugle squawked as the door opened and the men piled out half-dressed while still hastily pulling on the rest of their clothes.

Across the compound, Parmenter came running out onto the porch of his quarters, dressed in a long nightshirt, slippers, and nightcap. He held a revolver in one hand and a lit candle in the other. "Indians! To the parapets men!"

Vanderbilt's voice yelled again. "They're in the fort! Indians in the fort!" Again he fired.

Parmenter became alarmed. "In the fort?! Be careful men! They're inside!"

"What is it, Captain?" Major Chase asked as he stepped out the door, buckling on his pants.

"There's Indians in the fort, Major! You'd better get back inside!"

Chase shook his head and brought his hand up, in it was a revolver. "Oh no, Captain! I'm not one to shirk a fight! I'll join your men! Besides, I don't want to stay in your quarters alone."

Parmenter gave him a double look.

"Too easy to get trapped," Chase quickly explained.

"Oh." Parmenter nodded.

Just then, a trooped yelled through the dark. "There they are! Tryin' to sneak away on the ground!"

Out in the middle of the compound the moonlight fell on two figures laying prone on the ground.

Captain Parmenter shouted to the men. "There they are men! Charge!" And he ran off the porch.

The bugle sounded and rifles barked as the troopers rushed forward. The two "Indians" ducked low. Bullets kicked up all around and whistled over their heads.

Agarn pulled his hat down over his head. "I can't watch!" he sobbed into it.

"I gotta let him know it us before we get peppered!" O'Rourke raised his head just enough so it was below the whizzing bullets and bellowed over the blasts. "CAPTAIN! WAIT! IT'S US!"

Parmenter heard and started in recognition. "Sergeant! Corporal!" He ran at his men, waving his revolver in the air. "Stop! Cease fire men! Don't shoot those Indians! They're two of ours!"

The rifles became quit and the bugle stopped; replaced by a deadening silence that filled the fort. Parmenter sighed in relief when he saw O'Rourke and Agarn slowly began to pick themselves up. Suddenly, the air blasted again as a rifle fired from above. The two dove back for the ground as the rest of the troop scattered.

Parmenter shouted in the direction of the tower. "Vanderbilt! Stop that! I said 'cease fire'!"

The shooting stopped. "Did you get those Injuns, captain?" came from the lookout.

"Those aren't Indians! That's O'Rourke and Agarn!"

"Did they get the Injuns?"

"Yes! I mean no! I mean–! Never mind, Vanderbilt!" Parmenter rushed up to the two men still prone on the ground with Major Chase following behind. "Are you all right?" the captain asked anxiously.

"I think so, sir," O'Rourke answered as he pushed himself up and began brushing himself off. He let out a breath. "But it was gettin' a little hot for a while there."

Parmenter looked down at Agarn, who still lay on the ground. "Corporal? Are you all right?"

There was no answer, but they could see the corporal trembling with hands clenched onto his hat, pulling it down over his head.

"Corporal Agarn?" Parmenter began to get concerned. "Oh no! Is he hit?"

O'Rourke waved a hand. "Don't worry, sir. He's fine. Just a little shaken." He squatted down next to the trembling form. "Agarn, you can get up now. It all over."

"That's what you said last time!" came from under the hat.

"This time I'm sure. C'mon now, get up. Here we go." O'Rourke grabbed one of Agarn's arms and Parmenter took the other. Together they pulled him to his feet. As he straightened, Agarn suddenly let out a painful yowl.

"What's wrong?" O'Rourke asked.

Agarn cringed. "I have burning in my side."

"He was hit!" Parmenter exclaimed.

"No, sir!" Agarn answered. "Your candle's in my side!"

Parmenter looked down and realized that in switching his candle to his left hand, he was accidently holding it right in the corporal's side. "Oh!" He quickly pulled the candle away. A wisp of smoke curled up from a blackened spot of material. "Corporal you're on fire!"

"ON FIRE?!" Agarn shrieked.

O'Rourke hastily took off his hat and slapped it against the smoking area, smothering it. "It's out!" he quickly announced before his friend panicked more. "It was just a little smoke."

Agarn breathed a sigh of relief as the sergeant began brushing him off. The troopers came out of their hiding places and gathered around. "Gee," Agarn puffed. "A guy could get killed around here. If you don't get shot; you get burned to death."

"I'm terribly sorry about that, but we thought you were Indians," Parmenter apologized.

"It's alright, Captain," O'Rourke consoled. "Neither of us were hurt so no harm done."

"But it's a good thing you came out when you did, Captain," Agarn said shakily. "It was only a matter of time before we were goners."

Chase looked at one and then the other. "What are you men doing out of the barracks this late at night anyway?"

Agarn licked his lips. "Well – you see, sir – Uh – it's like this – uh." He glanced at O'Rourke.

"Well?" Chase asked, standing straight as a post with a scrutinizing stare.

O'Rourke sighed. "We mis'well tell, Agarn."

"What?!" Agarn's head snapped around.

O'Rourke turned to Chase. "We've been trying to keep it quiet, but I'm afraid you caught us, sir. You see, Corporal Agarn has a habit of sleepwalking at times. And it happened again tonight and I came after him."

Realizing what the sergeant was doing, Agarn quickly agreed. "That's right, sir. It's a habit I've been trying to break for a while now."

Chase's eyebrow went up. "In full uniform?"

"Full uniform, yes. Well …" Agarn stuttered. "You see … that's one of the things I do when I sleepwalk. I'm dreaming that I'm getting ready for another hardworking day in the fort and I get dressed."

Chase eyes went over to O'Rourke's uniform. "And you?"

"Oh, well, you see, the last time Corporal Agarn was sleepwalking, I didn't realize it till he was gone and I ended up chasing him all the way to the gates. So, when I saw he was gone tonight, I dressed just in case he made it into town. I figured you wouldn't want me running around outside the fort out of uniform."

Parmenter nodded, looking impressed. "Very good thinking, Sergeant. It's always wise to follow regulations."

Chase looked at Agarn. "You really should try to break this habit, Corporal. It could be a menace to the operation of the fort – and its safety, as we just witnessed."

Agarn nodded vigorously. "Yes, sir. I'll try very hard from now on."

"You know, Agarn," Parmenter said thoughtfully, "if you're having trouble, you should try doing what my father did to break me of my sleepwalking."

"What was that, sir?" Agarn asked.

"He tied me to my bed. Then I couldn't get up to walk around."

Agarn's face lit up. "Say, that's a great idea! I never thought of that. Thank you ever so much, Captain!"

"My pleasure, Agarn. Always happy to help my men with their problems," Parmenter replied.

Agarn shook his head with admiration. "Your so bighearted, sir. The way you're always thinking of us men. I could just …" He looked away as he choked back a sob.

Parmenter handed his candle to Chase and patted Agarn on the shoulder. "There, there now, Corporal."

"Well now that we're all wide awake," Chase cut in, "let's all go back to sleep."

"Good idea, Major," Parmenter agreed, taking his candle back. He waved his arms at the troopers watching. "That's all for tonight men! You're dismissed! And sweet dreams!"

They walked off back to the barracks.

"Well, if you'll excuse us, sir, I'll get Corporal Agarn back to bed," O'Rourke saluted.

"Yes, of course, Sergeant," Parmenter replied. He started to salute, then realized he had his revolver in his hand, so he stuck it under his other arm so he could. Then he and Chase headed for their quarters.

With no other choice, O'Rourke and Agarn started back for their own barracks, feet dragging.

A yelp sounded behind them and O'Rourke glanced over his shoulder just long enough to see Captain Parmenter hopping on one foot.

"What happened?" Chase's voice asked.

Parmenter's answered back, "I forgot I had that gun under my arm."

The sergeant shook his head and walked on. Soon they were back inside the safety of the barracks. Agarn plopped down on his bunk breathing hard, a hand over his heart.

"That was too close," he puffed.

"Yeah," O'Rourke agreed. "It's a good thing I thought up that sleepwalking bit or we would have been in a real fix."

"I wasn't talkin' about that, Sarge. I was talkin' about those bullets." Agarn shuddered.

"Oh that." O'Rourke sat down on the edge of his bunk and started pulling off his boots.

Agarn stiffened. "Sarge! What are ya' doin'? We gotta get out to the barn and bury those crates!"

O'Rourke continued to undress. "We can't risk trying again tonight. If it happened again that wouldn't look good."

Agarn nodded as though he understood. "Oh. That makes sense. Not to me, but it makes sense."

O'Rourke sighed. "I mean that getting caught once was bad enough even though we got out of it. But if we go out there and happen to get caught again, he might start getting the idea that something funny was going on around here."

"Then what are we gunna do?" Agarn asked as he too stripped down to his long underwear, frowning at the blackened splotch on his shirt where the candle had burned it.

"We'll just have to get up early and bury 'em while the major and captain are having their breakfast. As for right now, let's get some sleep." O'Rourke took off his hat, frowning at the new hole in the crown before setting it on the nightstand. He blew out the lamp and settled back in his bunk as Agarn did the same. There was a long silence.

"Sarge," Agarn's voice said from the dark.

"What is it?" O'Rourke's voice sleepily answered.

"I thought you said he couldn't see a dancing buffalo in front of–."

"Agarn."

"Yeah, Sarge?"

"Shut up."