Chapter 5

Operation Haystack

It looked as though it would be another beautiful day as the morning sun rose over Fort Courage. Reveille was completed, the flag was raised, and, to Agarn's disappointment, the cannon didn't hit the major. Then Captain Parmenter, along with Major Chase, went to have their breakfast in the captain's quarters while mess call (or what was supposed to be mess call) was sounded for the troop. The men quickly dropped what they were doing and stampeded for the mess hall. As they ran toward it, a sergeant and corporal went in the opposite direction. This was what they'd been waiting for.

"C'mon, Agarn. Let's go," O'Rourke said as he pulled the corporal along by an arm.

Agarn's steps dragged. "But, Sarge, what about breakfast?" He looked longingly at the troopers disappearing into the mass hall.

O'Rourke paused and turned to him. "Which would you prefer? You eating breakfast or the major eating you when he finds those boxes?"

Agarn jumped to his side. "I wasn't hungry anyway."

"That's what I figured. Now let's hurry!"

This time they made it safely to the barn and found the wagon and its load right where they had left them the day before. They quickly began to unload the crates and bury them one by one underneath the large haystack piled in the corner of the barn. They both worked at top speeds with only one setback when Agarn fell off the wagon with a crate. Fortunately, he landed on O'Rourke, but the box broke open and they had to take time to put everything back in. They soon had that fixed and continued, stacking the crates on top of each other against the barn wall, leaving one side in a step fashion so they could climb up and covering them as they went. Though they weren't particularly heavy, they seemed to grow in weight as time passed and both men were soon panting with the effort. Approximately a half an hour had elapsed since they started and were now quite high, ankle deep in the hay, walking on top of the crates underneath as they covered the ones on top. But progress was quickly being made and the wagon was nearly empty.

Agarn sat limply on a crate as he huffed, "I don't know how much longer I can go on, Sarge." He stretched his aching spine. "My back is killing me."

O'Rourke gave a grunt as he shoved another in place. He wiped the sweat from his face with the back of his wrist. "Just keep going. We can't stop now," he breathed heavily.

"How many more?"

"I'd say about … fifteen more."

Agarn let out a moaning whine. "Fifteen more! I don't think I'm gonna make it. I'm weak from lack of food."

O'Rourke gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. "Keep it up, pal. We're almost there."

Agarn tried to nod determinedly, but somehow it didn't quite seem to come out that way. "Alright, Sarge. I'll try." He got back up and began covering.

"Watch were you're steppin'," O'Rourke warned. "You'll sink over your waist if you step off the boxes."

Agarn took another step over. "Don't worry Sarge. I know exactly where–" his words were cut short when he suddenly plunged straight down and disappeared.

"Or over your head," O'Rourke mumbled. He peered into the dent where Agarn had vanished. "Agarn?" he hollered at it. "Agarn! Buddy, you alright?"

There was a muffling sound from inside that he thought sounded like a type of 'yes'. He was beginning to wonder if he should start digging, when a spot of hay wriggled at the bottom of the pile below. A hat and head suddenly popped out and there was a wild spitting followed by a loud sneeze. O'Rourke shook his head as he watched the rest of Agarn appear, crawling out on all fours.

Agarn scrambled to his feet, covered in hay bits and dust. He sneezed hard again. "Yeesh! That's stuff's bad as quicksand!" he sniffed and started brushing himself off.

"You're lucky it's not," O'Rourke said as he continued to work. "Now get back up here and be more careful this time."

Agarn suddenly froze. His eyes went wide. "Sarge."

O'Rourke continued without notice. "Once we get those last few covered, the captain can show that major around in here all he wants."

"Sarge."

"And after we're done at the Hekawi camp today, it shouldn't take long before he leaves and then–"

"SARGE!"

"What?!" O'Rourke snapped agitatedly. He spun in time to see Agarn start dancing madly about. He watched the odd show for a moment in bewilderment. "What are you doing?! We don't need any rain. Especially not in the barn. It leaks enough as it is!"

"HELP! IT'S EATING ME!" Agarn shrieked as the dance continued.

"What?" O'Rourke jumped to the ground and tried to catch Agarn as he flew by. "What's eating you?"

"IT'S IN MY SHIRT! SARGE! HELP!"

"Well, hold still!" O'Rourke barked as he chased after the corporal.

"FEELS LIKE A WEASEL! OR A SNAKE!"

O'Rourke made another try and succeeded in hooking a thrashing arm. He grabbed Agarn by the shoulders and spun him. Inside the back of the shirt he could see a wriggling bump. He yanked the suspender straps over Agarn's shoulders

"GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" Agarn yelled while dancing in place, feet pumping up and down.

O'Rourke gripped the back of each shoulder in a fist and gave a heave downward. There was a loud ripping as stitching gave way. The back of the shirt came off in his hands and the squirming bump fell to the floor.

Agarn spun and nearly climbed up O'Rourke in wild panic. "What was it?!" he whimpered.

"Agarn!" O'Rourke growled in annoyance as the hands clawed at him.

The babbling continued. "A rabid weasel? A rattlesnake? It was a rattlesnake wasn't it? I've been bitten haven't I?!" Agarn started to cry. "I'm a goner!"

O'Rourke slapped him lightly him on the face as he pointed. "Agarn! Look!"

They both looked. At their feet lay a little gray mouse, slowly picking itself up. It sat up on furry little hunches and looked around, whiskers twitching. Seeing the two giants, the little offender quickly scurried away. It paused at a small hole in the barn wall and looked back, glassy back eyes wide in confusion. Then it disappeared. The corporal still clung to his friend as he stared, glassy brown eyes wide in confusion.

O'Rourke slowly turned his head. "A weasel. A snake," he began slowly. He roughly pushed Agarn off him. "That was an itty-bitty mouse!"

"It felt three times bigger than that!" Agarn defended.

"How could you think a little mouse was trying to eat you?!"

"How would you like it if some unknown creature fell down your shirt and started crawling all over your back? Wouldn't you think it was trying to eat you?!"

With a huff, O'Rourke shook his head, looking at the mouse hole. "Don't worry, he's probably more frightened than you are."

"Well, of course," Agarn agreed shakily. He glared in the direction of the hole, entire body quaking visibly. "Takes more than a little thing like that to scare me."

"I was talking to the mouse!"

Finally gaining control of his scattered wits, Agarn looked down at himself. The front of his shirt was still in place, as were his sleeves, and neckerchief. He looked up, face confused. "Hey, Sarge. I heard a ripping sound, but I don't see anything missin'."

O'Rourke's nodded. "I know you don't." He held the ripped piece of shirt up and stretched out.

"The whole back?" Agarn exclaimed. He craned his neck around, trying to peek over his shoulder with one eye.

"Yup." O'Rourke grabbed Agarn's shoulder and turned him so he could look. Where the back of the shirt should have been, now there was a bright red square of the long underwear showing beneath. All the stitching had come apart from the backs of both sleeves and down the sides. The only thing holding up the front was the strip of collar around Agarn's neck and the sleeves. A grin flickered on O'Rourke's lips. Somehow it didn't seem strange to see his friend in such a condition.

Agarn shook his head dismally. "They just don't make 'em like they used to anymore." He looked down again. "Gee, from the front you wouldn't know anything was missin'."

"Never mind that. We're gonna have to get you back to the barracks and into a new uniform."

"But, Sarge," Agarn said in almost a whisper, "I can't go out like this. What if the fellas see me? They'll …" he scuffed a boot in the dirt. "They'll laugh at me."

O'Rourke flipped a hand. "I'll walk right behind you. None of 'em'll notice a thing." He pressed a finger against Agarn's chest. "You just hope we don't run into that major."

"Why? He can't have me arrested for accidently ripping my uniform."

"Not at first. But then you'll have to explain how you did it."

"I fell in the haystack. So what?"

"Uh huh. Now explain why you fell into that haystack."

"It's easy, I stepped over too far while we were burying the–" Agarn stopped as understanding shot across his face. He cleared his throat. "I see your point."

"Good." O'Rourke brushed Agarn off as best he could so he looked fairly decent. "Now, let's finish up here and then we'll get you changed." He grabbed another crate and climbed back up the haystack.

Agarn fidgeted a moment and began scratching at his back. "I think I got some hay down the back of my shirt."

"Agarn, you don't have a shirt back to get hay down!"

"Oh, yeah that's right."

"Will you get a move on? We gotta get done before the captain finishes his tour!" O'Rourke hollered down.

"Comin', Sarge!" Agarn gave one last wriggle and followed after the sergeant.

The last crates were unloaded in record time and fixed on top. The hay stack had grown slightly in size, but not enough that it would draw any suspicion. They were just finishing covering the last box when voices came near from outside.

O'Rourke's head snapped up and he stood ramrod straight. "Hoppin' horn toads! It's Captain Parmenter and the major!"

"Sarge! What do we do?" Agarn panicked as he and the sergeant jumped down from the pile.

"It's all right! We've got everything covered up!"

"But what about me?"

"Quick! Get your suspenders up!" O'Rourke snatched up the piece of shirt that had been tossed aside and hurriedly stuffed it into the hay along with the boxes.

Agarn quickly slipped an arm though one suspender. But in his haste it twisted with the other dangling strap as he tried to pull it over his shoulder. O'Rourke saw the losing struggle and quickly jumped to the rescue. Just in time, he got both fixed in place as the barn door creaked open.

"Face out. Face out," he whispered.

"But, Sarge, my shirt–"

"Just don't turn around and he won't notice."

Captain Parmenter, followed by Major Chase, stepped in.

"'Teeention!" O'Rourke barked as he and Agarn straightened.

"At ease men," Parmenter called to them. He turned to the major. "This is our barn, major. Where we keep our horses."

"Captain, I know what a barn is for," Chase said as he looked around with a sharp eye. "Very nice. I'm sure that you and your men take good care of your mounts."

"Well, we haven't heard any complaints from them yet." Parmenter laughed at his own joke, but it turned into a strange type of throaty cough when all he got was a solid stare. He silently ushered the major on. They came up to the sergeant and corporal beside the haystack. "Good morning, Sergeant. Corporal. I figured you'd be down at the mess hall," Parmenter said.

"Well, we were, sir. We finished a short time ago." O'Rourke answered.

Agarn nodded. "Yes, sir. And a big meal it was too." Suddenly a loud and long rumbling sounded.

Chase frowned. "A big meal? Then why is your stomach growling?"

Agarn's mouth dropped open. "I – I'm on a diet, sir. I meant it was a big meal for what I've been eating lately. Got to stay in shape you know."

Chase gave a look of approval. "Ah, I see. It's always good for a soldier to keep fit. Never know when your life could depend on it."

Parmenter changed the subject as he motioned around with his hands. "So what do you think of our barn, Major Chase?"

"It looks fine, Captain. You seem to have kept it up well and –" Chase cut off when something caught his eye. "What's this?" He reached out toward the haystack and grabbed something, Parmenter peeking over his shoulder.

O'Rourke swallowed the lump in his throat when he saw what the major was pulling out. It was Agarn's shirt. Apparently, in his hast it hadn't quite gotten buried far enough in. But that wasn't the worst of the problems. As Chase straightened to inspect his find, a bit of the disturbed hay fell from the pile and a corner of one of the crates poked through. Fortunately, the major was too absorbed at the moment to see it. Agarn's square face went pale as the major held up the piece of material.

Bewildered, Chase looked at the two uneasy men. "What is this?"

Agarn's licked his lips rapidly. "W-w-what? This what? What's what, sir?"

"This!" Chase held out the shirt back.

"Oh that 'this'! Well, that's – you see – it's simple – that's – that's, uh –" Agarn glimpsed pleadingly at O'Rourke for help.

"Ho, that!" O'Rourke interrupted the stuttering. He took a slight step forward and to the side as if to see it better. As he did, he moved in front of the exposed crate corner, covering it with his legs. "Well, uh, you see, sir … that belongs to … to privet Dobbs, sir. Yes. Our company bugler."

"But it looks like the whole back of a shirt!" Chase pressed.

O'Rourke nodded. "Yes, uh, so it is. You see he … he thought he'd lost it."

"Just how can you "accidently" loose the back of a shirt?!"

"How? Yes, uh…" On the blink, O'Rourke looked at Agarn.

Agarn opened his mouth a three full seconds before speaking. "You see, sir, he got into a scrapping fight with a … a … a raccoon, sir!"

"A raccoon?!"

"Yes, sir. It happened about a week ago. He was out here taking care of his horse when this enraged raccoon suddenly jumped on him from the loft. Had to fight it off barehanded."

Parmenter's brows were nearly touching his hat. "Dobbs?"

Agarn nodded vigorously. "Yes, sir. The Sarge and I were both just outside when it happened. Saw the whole thing. Didn't we, Sarge?"

O'Rourke cleared his throat. "Uh, that's right, sir."

The major's brow creased. "It ripped off the whole back of his shirt?"

Agarn's head bobbed again. "Yes, sir. It jumped on him from behind and the whole thing just – went. But Dobbs stood his ground bravely. You should've seen it, sir. Nasty little devil he was."

Parmenter looked surprised. "Dobbs?"

"No, sir. The raccoon."

"Oh! Yes, of course."

The major looked skeptical. "What was a raccoon doing in the barn anyway?"

"Oh, well, he was probably looking for a place to hibernate for the winter," O'Rourke jumped in.

"It's the beginning of summer."

Agarn's head cocked. "Well, you can't put everything off till the last minute, sir."

Chase shook his head slightly, indecisively. "I find it hard to believe that a raccoon would actually attack somebody."

Agarn nodded. "You'd be surprised at the raccoons we have around here, sir. They're fierce as tigers."

Parmenter scratched an ear. "Dobbs never told me about that."

"Well, you know how modest he is, sir," O'Rourke said.

"Huh." Parmenter pondered a moment. "I'll have to ask him about it sometime."

O'Rourke held out a hand. "I wouldn't do that, sir."

"Why not?"

"It isn't a pleasant memory for him, captain sir. Why do you think he's never told anyone else about it? It's one of those things that happens in a man's life that he would just rather let be. I'd just as soon not say anything to him about it, sir. Let it all be a bygone of the past."

"Well," Parmenter looked at the major, who stood with a blank face, then back at the sergeant. "All right, if you think it would really upset him."

O'Rourke nodded solemnly. "I really do, sir."

"Then in that case, we'll just let it go at that."

"Thank you, sir. We," O'Rourke motioned at Agarn and himself, "even promised Dobbs that we'd never tell anyone, but I'm afraid you've wormed the whole thing out of us."

"Oh," Parmenter looked sympathetic. "I'm sorry we made you break you're promise. Tell you what, we'll pretend that you never told us." He looked around before leaning closer. "It'll be our secret," he whispered.

"Thank you, sir." O'Rourke whispered back.

"Thank you, sir," Agarn echoed.

Awkwardly, Major Chase cleared his throat. "Well, anyway." He took another look around as he said, "We should keep moving on, Captain. Then we'll get going up to the Hekawi camp."

"Yes, Major." Parmenter turned to O'Rourke. "Be sure to be ready, Sergeant."

"That we will, sir," O'Rourke answered very military like.

Chase looked at the two noncoms standing straight and tall. A pleased expression came to his face. "Your men are doing a good job, Captain. Everything seems to in order here."

Parmenter tried to look modest. "Thank you, Major. I'm proud of my troop. And also of Sergeant O'Rourke and Corporal Agarn. I don't know what I'd do if they weren't here to help me."

"I'm sure you are, Captain. Their all fine men." The major continued to observe the two horse soldiers. "Yes. It's always good to see the men in uniform and ready for anything."

O'Rourke's mouth twitched. In the corner of his eye he could see the bright red square on Agarn's back.

Chase gave them a salute. "Carry on."

"Yes sir," O'Rourke and Agarn said in unison, returning the gesture.

The major started to leave. "Oh wait," he mumbled as he turned back. "Here." He held out the piece of shirt he was still holding.

"Thank you, sir," O'Rourke replied weakly as he took it.

The two kept their military bearing as they watched the captain and major leave. The door closed over them and both men deflated with heavy sighs.

"That major has a knack of showin' up at the worst times," O'Rourke grumbled.

"Tell me about it," Agarn said under his breath. "I thought sure we were dead there for a while. You know something, Sarge."

"What?"

"We have fickle luck. I can't tell whether it's for us, or against us."

"We got all the boxes hidden just in time didn't we? So I say it's still with us."

Agarn didn't look convinced. "Well maybe. But I think it's just toying with us before the finale blow."

O'Rourke tapped Agarn on the chest as he started for the door. "Let's get out of here. We've got to get you into one of those full uniforms that the major thinks is so good to see us in, then we have ta' get the horses ready."

"Alright, Sarge, but before we get the horses, can we do just one thing."

"What's that?"

Agarn spread his arms. "Can we please eat first?!"