"I never knew you had such a thing for Christmas Rusty", Cappie laughs.
Rusty had insisted on coming over for the evening to help decorate our apartment even though I had told him it was the last thing on my mind these last few weeks of my pregnancy.
But now that I'm watching him and Cappie set up a tree in our living room area, I'm really happy we were going this. It was just a fake one, a pretty small one because there wasn't a ton of space, but I had to admit that it was pretty cool that me and Cappie have our own place to decorate. Well… that Rusty could make us decorate.
"He's been obsessed with Christmas since he was a kid", I giggle. "It would probably surprise you how long he believed in Santa Claus".
Me and Cappie share a look as Rusty glares at us.
"You're doing a lot of teasing for someone who gets to sit there while me and Cappie do all the work", Rusty gives me a look but he's laughing, not taking my teasing too seriously.
I give him an annoyed look then, narrowing my eyes.
I was sitting on the couch with a bowl of popcorn set on my bump, with my feet up. I had comfy sweatpants on, ones I'd bought two sizes up from my regular size small, a red sweater, and a Santa hat Rusty had brought over and insisted we all wear. His urging to put the Santa hats on worked on me, but not on Cappie.
"Oh c'mon, it's the least you guys can do, I'm almost 8 months pregnant", I whine.
"Well hey at least you have a built in table for your popcorn", Cappie jokes, gesturing to how I'm eating off my belly, my bump protruding so much now it allowed the bowel of popcorn to be at my eye level.
I give him a look and throw some more popcorn in my mouth.
"So what can the baby do this week?", Rusty smiles as he and Cappie hang ornaments on the tree.
"Well her kicks hurt a lot more lately", I groan. "I think she's growing stronger in there. Like the hulk".
I laugh looking down at my stomach.
"Other than that, apparently this week I'm passing antibodies to her so she develops a good immune system, she's as big as a pineapple, and her organs are now fully formed", I grin. "Can you guys believe that? I can say that I single-handedly created organs".
I pop some more popcorn in my mouth while I give them a satisfied grin.
"Well hey I'm pretty sure I had a tiny bit to do with it too", Cappie says with a gesture of his fingers.
"Uh do you have a baby beating up your insides 24/7? Do you have to push her out in 8 weeks? Did you throw up every day for almost 2 whole months?", I cross my arms at him.
"Dude back down", Rusty whispers to him. "You don't wanna mess with her right now".
"Kidding", I shake my head. "But not really Cap. All you did was… have a good time with me for a few minutes and your part was done".
"Hey, it was longer than a few minutes!", Cappie argues, looking away from the tree to point at me with a laugh.
I giggle then at the satisfaction from teasing Cappie.
"Hey Rus…", I give him a grin, knowing I'm about to pry into his life.
"Uh oh… I know that voice. You're about to ask me something annoying aren't you?"
"No", I put my hands up and speak innocently. "I was just going to ask how things are going with Ashleigh after the other night?"
"Oh…", Rusty blushes involuntarily then and avoids my eyeline.
Me and Cappie look at each other, both invested in this random coupling that was both awkward and sweet to me.
"Well… if you must know, we're going out on Friday", Rusty smiles. "And I'm like 99% sure it's a date".
"Why the 1% doubt?", Cappie laughs.
"Well because she's… her. And I'm me, you know?", Rusty sighs.
"Aw Rus", I pout. "Don't say that. You're a great guy. You're sweet, and smart, and cool… in your own way. Ash would be lucky. And I say that as her best friend".
"Yeah Spitter, don't sell yourself short. I mean I went out of my league the night I met your sister and look how that turned out. Now we're… having a baby that was, well completely unplanned, and we're not actually officially dating or anything but…", Cappie stops mid sentence realizing he's not exactly selling his point.
"What Cappie's trying to say….", I butt in. "Is that you shouldn't be insecure because Ashleigh is just a girl like any other girl, even though she's hot. And obviously she already likes you so you shouldn't feel inferior".
"Well thanks guys", Rusty laughs. "That means a lot. You really think she likes me?"
"Yes, of course!", I encourage him. "Just take things slow. You guys are already friends so just see if there's anything there romantically to take it to the next level. The best relationships start out as friends".
"Is that what you guys did?", Rusty asks.
Me and Cappie look at each other then, giving each other a slightly awkward look, neither one of us speaking until Cappie finally does.
"Uh… yeah, something like that Spitter", Cappie shrugs and goes back to hanging garland.
"We made out the first night we met and then saw each other every day after that, then sort of just… did that every night for almost a year or so until we broke up… so we kind of skipped the friends part", I come clean to Rusty. "But then after a brief period where we were sort of enemies, and then a reunion to have a one night stand… we became friends!"
I give Rusty an awkward look, realizing that me and Cappie took about a million detours to get to where we are now.
"We really liked the whole doing things out of order thing", Cappie nods with a shrug.
"But all relationships are different", I tell Rusty, trying to keep his confidence up. "Don't be nervous about it. It's Ashleigh, she's amazing. And so are you!"
I give Rusty a smile then and he returns it.
"Thanks Case", He looks sheepish as he accepts the compliment.
"There the tree looks done, doesn't it? What do you think Case? Does it have your approval?", Cappie gives me a smirk.
"Yes! I love it", I smile happily, putting down the bowl of popcorn beside me and resting my hands on my belly.
"Kind of crazy how next Christmas you guys will have an almost one year old", Rusty shakes his head in disbelief.
"I know right", I sigh, panic still taking over me anytime I thought about actually having the baby. "I kind of… just want her to stay inside here forever. At least I know how to be pregnant".
"Case yesterday you were crying and begging me to take you to ask your OB if she could make an exception and induce you early", Cappie looks at me with his eyebrow raised and I roll my eyes at his teasing.
"Yes but that was yesterday when she was practicing tae kwon do on my ribs and I couldn't sleep!", I explain myself and then sigh, touching my belly button because my belly stuck out underneath almost all my sweaters. "Today I just want her to be with me in here forever".
I see Cappie and Rusty share a look with one another, finding humour in the way I flip flop between hating being pregnant and wanting her out immediately, and at the same time not wanting to give birth ever.
"Well I think it'll be fun next year. Imagine all the fun Christmas stuff we can do with her Case, all the same stuff we did as kids", Rusty smiles, remembering our childhood fondly.
Rusty reaches into the plastic bin he'd brought over containing Christmas decorations to find some more garland.
"Well she probably won't even know what's going on or even remember it", I laugh but appreciate Rusty's excitement. "But you're right Rus".
"Cap lets put this garland on the mantle and then we can hang the stockings", Rusty smiles and Cappie blindly goes along.
"You know, I'm picturing Christmas at the Cartwright's like one of those old Norman Rockwell paintings. Perfect nuclear family, the smell of sugar cookies wafting in the air, the Christmas card portrait wearing those matching sweaters that you can't stop itching yourself in", Cappie jokes.
"No matching sweaters", I shake my head with a laugh. "We just had normal family Christmases".
"Well anything would be more normal than mine. I did get to see decorations and a Christmas tree at school and stuff but my parents don't believe in the Christmas industry, they think it's set up by capitalism", Cappie explains.
Me and Rusty give him a sad look then.
"Well hey Cappie, I have something for you", Rusty grins at him, and then looks to me, going into his decorations and coming out with a red stocking with 'Cappie' embroidered on it.
"Spitter! Does that have my name on it?", Cappie looks in awe as Rusty hands it to him and I giggle at his pure excitement.
"Yep, I got them on Etsy. Here's yours Case", Rusty gives me a boyish grin as he throws it over to me.
"Aw Rus!", I give him a pout. "I can't believe you did this!"
I look down at my 'Casey' one.
"It was no big deal", Rusty shrugs and pulls out another one, this one blank. "I got this one for the baby even though we won't use it till next year, but we're gonna have to put her name on it ourselves since you guys are major procrastinators".
Rusty jokes with us.
"You can blame Cappie for that", I laugh and Cappie looks at me as he raises his eyebrows giving me a look of fake hurt as he laughs.
"Hey all I'm saying is that I really believe the universe will give us a sign of what she should be named. We'll know it when we see her", Cappie shrugs.
"Ah karmic synergy?", Rusty laughs.
"If nothing comes to us then I'm gonna use my notebook with all the names I've written down over the years that I like", I giggle. "I already have it packed in my hospital bag".
"Alright she's just baby Cartwright for now then", Rusty scoffs.
"Baby Jones actually", I point out.
"Wait… I guess I'd never thought much about it but you actually have a last name Cap?", Rusty looks quizzically at Cappie.
"Of course I have a last name Spitter", Cappie scoffs. "Everyone does".
"Oh cool", Rusty nods his head, accepting this. "Well that's nice, lots of names could go with Jones".
"Yeah you're right", I smile.
"Thanks for doing this Rus", Cappie puts his arm around him. "The stockings are really cool. I've never had anything like this for Christmas".
"Yeah thanks Rusty. We're gonna have an awesome Christmas this year", I smile. "And I'm even going to make some of those sugar cookies you mentioned Cap. If… I ever get off the couch".
Cappie laughs then.
"Yeah it's probably better for all of us if you just stay sitting down and buy them the next time you're at the grocery store", Rusty teases me and I shoot him a look and throw a piece of popcorn at him.
"What Rusty means is… you're just so good at putting the package of cookies in the cart and checking out at the cash", Cappie joins Rusty's teasing. "Why deviate from what you know?"
"You guys suck", I shake my head and cross my arms across my chest.
"Sorry Case but remember in freshman year when you and your pledge class were assigned baking for that philanthropy bake sale…?", Cappie gives me a look. "You know what I'm referring to right?"
"Yes I know that my snickerdoodles accidentally had paprika instead of cinnamon on them", I groan with a roll of my eyes. "But you still bought and ate two!"
I point out to him.
"Uh yeah because you were my girlfriend and I wanted to get laid that night", Cappie jokes and I make a noise, my mouth ajar in surprise.
"Cap!", I whine.
"Sorry Case. We can't be good at everything. Besides your cooking has improved, just maybe no baking cookies in the near future", Cappie grins at me.
"I bet Dale would make you some if you wore a low cut top", Rusty jokes.
"Hey!", I scold him with a laugh.
"Well it is kinda true", Cappie laughs along with Rusty. "He has a major thing for you… it's a little creepy actually".
"I am not going to pimp myself out for some cookies", I glare at them. "Although… I mean if I just asked nicely and… happened to be wearing something of the cleavage baring variety…"
Cappie and Rusty laugh at me.
"I'm pregnant and starving! I'd pretty much sell my first born for baked goods right now", I laugh and then I realize what I've just said and run my hand across my belly. "Sorry, just kidding, I'm not gonna sell you baby".
"So did you guys decide what you're gonna do for Christmas?", Rusty asks. "Cap, are you gonna brave a trip up to Chicago to remind my parents you ruined their only daughters life?"
Rusty speaks sarcastically then and Cappie and me scoff.
"Uh…", Cappie looks over to me with a shrug. "Actually I just assumed we were staying here but I probably should've talked to you about it Case".
"Don't worry, I'm not going back to Chicago", I say like it's obvious.
"Really? Mom and dad will probably be kind of mad Case. Especially mom".
"Yeah but by Christmas I'm gonna be 3 weeks out from my due date", I say. "And I'm not getting in a car at 9 months pregnant, going into labour and having her at the side of the road in hicksville Indiana!"
"What do you have against Indiana?", Cappie jokes.
"Nothing, but I have a lot against you having to deliver our baby in the backseat of the car because I can't get to a hospital in time!", I give him a look.
"Yeah you're right… I mean biology was my major for 3 weeks but… I was mostly just there because I was banging this girl who-", Cappie stops talking when I give him a death glare. If looks could kill Cappie would be dead.
"Sorry, unnecessary detail", Cappie shakes his head and gives me a regretful look like he's kicking himself for his words. "What I mean to say is… I think you're right Case. Here the hospital is close, your doctor is here, and there will be a very low likelihood that I'll have to do some sort of Greys Anatomy type roadside delivery".
"We have done a lot KT Greys Anatomy viewing parties though", Rusty shrugs. "Maybe it would be enough medical knowledge to get the baby out?"
"I don't know Spitter, I mostly just watch for the romantic plot lines", Cappie shrugs.
Me and Rusty scoff then as I roll my eyes.
"Mom might hate me for it, but I have to put me and my baby first", I declare and sit back, my hands resting atop my stomach.
"Not to mention….", Cap sighs and then speaks treacherously. "I don't even really know if I'd even be welcome to your parents place for Christmas".
"I'm sure my mom would let you take whatever couch is farthest away from my room. Or maybe a tent in the backyard", I joke with a scoff and Cappie laughs.
"Feel free to go though Rusty. Having her special baby boy at home will probably fill the void for mom. She'll forget all about me not being there", I give Rusty a joking look.
"Well I don't want to go if you're not gonna be there", Rusty groans. "I don't know if you know this but…."
Rusty sighs and then seems to gather the courage to say this next part.
"I uh… didn't have a lot of friends back home so if I go home without you it's gonna be pretty lonely. It's gonna be a lot of games of canasta Case. A lot", Rusty gives me a grimace.
I giggle at him then.
"Sorry Rus", I laugh. "But I'm not going. We could just invite them here I guess?"
"Yeah that's probably best actually", Rusty shrugs.
"They could stay in Dale's room since he'll be going back home", I suggest. "I'm just hoping they won't decide to stick around for weeks".
"Why? You don't want them here when the baby is born?", Rusty questions.
"Not really", I sigh to Rusty's confused look. "Look I know that they're our parents and we love them, but I do not want to be in the most pain of my life, screaming and crying and pushing a human out of me while mom tells me all the ways I'm doing it wrong".
I groan to myself then.
"I would much rather just have the two of you there when the time comes. And Ash", I state.
"Well I think if that's what you want, that's what you should get. Since you're the one that's going to be going through it Case", Cap gives me a smile.
"I'm a little squeamish Casey", Rusty gives me a slight grimace. "It won't be like... super gross right? Or involve a lot of blood?"
Without me even answering, Cappie just looks over to him, crossing his arms as if to say 'seriously!?'
"Sorry. What I meant is that I'll be there Case. Even if I faint", Rusty gives me an assuring smile then.
"Thanks Rus. And don't worry, I'm not gonna force you to watch me give birth", I laugh. "For the actual pushing out part you should probably wait in the waiting room. Or else we may never be able to look each other in the eyes again".
The three of us laugh then.
"You're gonna let Cappie watch though?", Rusty laughs.
"Well yeah…", I say like it's obvious. "Because… well because it's his baby and because we're comfortable with each others bodies and he's not my brother. But still, no looking… down there".
I look at Cap sternly.
"Don't worry, I don't wanna be traumatized Case", Cappie laughs. "I'll let the doctors do the looking".
"Good", I nod and look down at my belly, my fingers tracing across my belly button. "Aw now that we're talking about it, I really do want her out right now! I changed my mind!"
"See what I mean?", Cappie whispers to Rusty.
"Hey!", I scold them. "I can hear you".
The two of them snicker then.
"I can't wait till we have another girl around here", I smile down at my stomach. "After I hang out with the two of you all Winter break, I'm majorly gonna be a needing some female energy. Isn't that right baby?"
"Cappie?", I call out from my room over to his. "Come here, you have to see this!"
I'm watching my stomach in awe, wearing his flannel pajama pants and an old pink ZBZ tank top, my belly out. I'm watching her literally kick the side of my belly, making it move. I wish I had Rusty's camcorder right now because I would video it. The way that you could see my stomach around my belly button literally move.
"What? Are you going into labour?", He comes to my door in a t shirt and boxers, looking a little worried.
"No, no", I wave him off. "Just come here before you miss it!"
I gesture him over to the bed to sit beside me in my laying down position.
"Can you see that?", I smile at him. "She's making my stomach turn and move with her movements".
"Wow!", Cappie laughs slightly and looks up at me with a grin. "She's really moving around in there".
"Yep", I giggle. "I've never seen this before though, where I can see my whole stomach moving. It feels so weird Cap".
Cappie puts his hand out then to rest on my stomach, feeling it move underneath him.
"That's insane", he looks at me with his mouth open.
He lays down then, his head next to my belly.
"Hi baby girl", he scoffs.
"She can probably hear your voice, that's what my pregnancy site said", I comment.
"Well hopefully you can hear me", Cappie laughs. "We're really excited to meet you soon. Although it looks like you're having a pretty good time in there rolling around in your mom's tummy".
"Actually she might not be, she's probably feeling pretty crammed. My amniotic fluid is getting less and less, which means that she has less space in there week by week", I tell Cappie.
"Oh believe me, I know all about the amniotic fluid. I read that chapter a few weeks back", he grins at me, satisfied with himself.
"Just please tell me that it wasn't one of yours and Dale's book club books", I laugh.
"Nope, it's a self endeavour. Dale and me are reading Fifty Shades right now", Cappie says nonchalantly.
"What?!", I laugh.
"Dale's idea. Not mine. For someone who claims to be revirginized or whatever the term is, he's kind of a freak", Cappie thinks to himself and then cringes.
"I did not need to know that", I giggle, smiling up at him now that he's sat up and laying beside me, both of us overtop the covers, laying against my pillows, my teddy bear between us.
"Well I guess we should get some sleep right?", Cap sighs with a smile and sits up to go get off my bed.
"Wait, Cap!", I grab him arm to stop him.
"Can you, uh… can you watch something with me until I fall asleep?", I ask him, grabbing my laptop from my bedside table. "You know, only if you want…"
"Yeah, of course", He smirks softly. "What's your favorite Christmas movie?"
"Uh Love Actually, obviously!", I giggle.
"Ugh god", he makes a dramatic groan, joking with me as he flops down beside me on my bed, moving my teddy bear to lay down next to me. The lack of space between us now is making my heart start to race at his presence on my bed. On my bed where when he was in here we rarely used it to just sleep.
"Oh c'mon, it's the best Christmas movie of all time", I shake my head at him with a laugh. "Unless you have a better suggestion?"
"Elf is the best Christmas movie of all time", Cappie declares.
"Nuh uh", I shake my head. "Love Actually is perfect. I'm putting it on".
"Ugh fine", he gives in but I can see the way he's smiling, his protesting was really just to tease me. "I do like that one part with the two people filming porn. Seeing boobs on screen is always a win in my book".
"Cap!", I hit his arm with a laugh.
"What?!", He looks at me with fake betrayal. "I just said that I like your movie!"
"Yeah only because of raunchy sex stuff", I shake my head. "You should like it because it's sweet and it shows that… love is all around in the world".
"You sound like a greeting card company", Cappie scoffs.
"Whatever, I'm putting it on Scrooge", I give him a look, my eyes narrowing.
When we spar like this, when we're playing around with each other, I truly don't see any other person that I could ever have this with other than Cappie. I'd waited forever to feel the same way with Evan and Max. I'd tried to really make those relationships work, but when I compared them to the way I felt with Cappie, even if my head told me that me and Cap would never work. I knew in my heart that I didn't have this type of relationship with anyone else.
"You gonna put on the movie then?", Cappie asks sarcastically, interrupting my thoughts about him. "Since my offer to give in and watch your cheesy movie expires in…"
He looks down at his watch, joking around, but I don't let him finish his sentence. Instead I gently turn his head over to me, his blue eyes darting up to meet mine in surprise.
We look at each other for a moment then, electricity in the air around us, like the only people in the world are me and him. Well me, him, and our baby in my belly. I give him a smile before I lean in to kiss him softly, slowly, until he moves closer to me to deepen it. Even though I'd made the first move, now he takes control, his hand on my cheek, bringing me closer as I feel his tongue slip into the equation as we fight for dominance.
I let out a slight moan as we keep kissing and I feel his hand find it's place against my belly, his palm against my bare skin, warm against me.
When we part he smirks at me softly, not moving his hand from where the baby moves against him every so often. Her movements making me feel like my organs are being stretched around.
"I'm really happy we're spending Christmas together Case", Cappie says quietly, softly, with a shy smile. He's not joking around at all, I can see the seriousness in his eyes, in the way he gazes at me.
I can't help but smile thinking about the fact that we were probably going to be spending all Christmases together now. So long as we were gonna be making Christmas as special for our daughter as my parents did for me and Rusty.
"Me too Cap", I agree with a nod, my heart bursting.
Then I force myself to snap out of this moment, of the intensity I felt with him. If I didn't, I'd probably just keep kissing him and the movie watching would go by the wayside. Which I'm sure Cappie would love.
I grab my laptop and rest it on top my bump so I can find the movie.
"Alright Love Actually time", I giggle and me and Cappie cozy into my pillows while I use my bump as a makeshift TV stand.
I watch the first scene of the movie intently, my favorite part, my eyes unwavering from my laptop screen. Cappie's not paying much attention though, but I don't mind, because while I watch the movie explain how love really is all around, I feel Cappie's eyes on me.