Chapter 32: Bitter Medicine

There was only a few more days before the next Gathering. One major meeting was called. Longtail was given his first apprentice, Swiftpaw. Regardless of Longtail's somewhat lackluster fighting skill, I knew he'd be a decent mentor. Afterall, his mentor was Darkstripe. If Darkstripe had any notable skill, it was the ability to teach. Longtail was once his apprentice and still his best friend, so he likely picked up that same skill. If he didn't, well he wouldn't be far from Darkstripe.

Speaking of mentoring, I decided to harass the rat's nest of hatred, spite, and piss that is Yellowfang for some training in medicine. I still didn't want to be a medicine cat, but I did desire to know how to treat wounds. Illnesses can remain her problem, but if I could treat anything that would be immediately deadly, I'd be able to protect the ones I care about far easier.

I decided to first propose my training when it was about noon when she took her meals. Her general sassiness at that time of day fell from tearing my ears off to mildly annoying. Just because I respect her and believe she's got wisdom I want doesn't mean she can't drive me up a wall. I brought with me a lizard I caught at the edge of Shadowclan territory, something she had deemed her favorite to Fireheart within earshot of me.

"What do you want kit? I know your type already. You don't approach unless you want something." He mewed aggressively.

"You're right. I do want something. I want to learn how to dress wounds. It could be useful." I responded in a calculated monotone.

"And here I thought you were better than me with that whole 'Turn-E-kit' thing. What could I even teach you?" She replied mockingly.

"First off, it is tourniquet, but I really don't care for vocabulary. Call it wound choking, string wrapping, or whatever else you want. I don't care. I don't even care if you claim it was your idea. No one would fight you on it. Regardless, that only has limited usability. I want to know how to keep those I care about from bleeding out, choking on poison, or frothing at the mouth from venom. I don't care about the illness side of things. Teach me to treat the immediate, and I'll give you whatever you want." I replied a bit too quickly. She'd riled me up, so I unintentionally gave her a limitless favor.

I saw her eyes raise in interest. She'd caught my mistake. "Anything you say. What if I told you to kill Brokenstar?" She mewed cryptically.

"As soon as I see him, he's dead." I responded coldly.

"Easy kit. That was just an example. What if I asked something risky like mating me?" She replied teasingly.

"Ew, but I'd do it."

"How about living at my beck and call?"

"That's a bit too far, but I'd complete any request as long as it didn't interfere with what I was doing."

A hacking laugh dredged itself from Yellowfang's throat before she finally spoke again. "You amuse me kit. Not many would go so far for just a favor. I think we can work something out. How about every day I give you a lesson, you have to clean my coat?"

I looked at the matted, dusty, debris filled mess that was her fur with apprehension. She was more matts than fur and stank of ammonia. I swear it was like she went out of her way to tangle her fur that way to make clawing her more troublesome. Despite that, I am a cat of my word, except when I'm not. I'd be willing to put up with the unpleasantness if it meant getting what I wanted.

"Ok. I'll do it. I'm not going to like it, but I did foolishly say anything." I mewed after suppressing a gag.

Yellowfang let out another laugh before responding. "Then we'll start today. Get what you can out, but don't go pulling my fur off."

I resigned myself to my fate. It was like licking a rotted log as each pass pulled free dust, twigs, and whatever else she had managed to get wedged in her coat. She at least gave me the decency of cleaning her naughty bits herself. I would not have to taste whatever dried on urine still stuck to her. I managed to work out some of the smaller tangles with some careful teasing with both my tongue and teeth, but the larger ones were a bit too stubborn to come out in one sitting. By the time she told me to stop, she only looked like a rogue instead of something hit on the highway. She also notably smelled better. As penance for removing the stink of the vile one, I had the awful taste of whatever put up that stink clinging to my tongue. When she relieved me of duty, I quickly ran off to find a good mouse or something to bury that taste and hope to never remember.

Ravenfeather was kind enough to see my distress and gave me a freshly caught mouse. I don't know if that mouse was the best or worst thing to happen to me at that moment. On one side, the mouse certainly got rid of the taste, but on the other, my instinctive taste of mouse was tainted by the lingering flavor of a cat on the run for about a moon and a half and would remain so for a long time. Needless to say, mouse became a prey I typically avoided.

I only learned later that she'd been testing me. Her initial plan to deal with her fur was to wait for a warm day and clean most of it off in the river. She'd tease me about it every time I came in for a lesson.

I came back around to the medicine den after a trip to the river to ensure even the memory of what I tasted was washed away. There, Yellowfang began instructing me on the finer details of medicine beginning with, what not to do about an open wound. She had many stories revolving this lesson. Based on what she taught, it was almost like cats were suicidal in their stupidity. She'd had to treat many cats who nearly bled out because they decided to try to walk it off or rub some dirt in it. Some foolish warriors who seemed afraid of her would try to come up with their own solutions like crushing grass and other random plants into the wound. Those often led to infections far worse than just getting the wound treated in the first place.

Despite what she tricked me into doing, I enjoyed her lessons. She was firm but fair. She knew her stuff and was quick to point out mistakes and bad habits to keep me from repeating them. Honestly, she was about as good of a teacher as Darkstripe. Where Darkstripe was attentive and adaptable, she was militaristic and strict. I could be sarcastic and joking as long as it didn't interfere with the lesson.