Monday 6 August 2007, Dublin, Ireland
"Well, I just left for home as soon as possible and managed to catch a flight, so the last show of the tour,which was to be in New York, was cancelled and never took place, which Shiny Chariot fans to this dayalways wonder if it did, the reality is that it would have ended the same way as the Los Angeles show, I justleft and that was the last time I spoke to Croix, until she came back here to Luna Nova 10 years later, whichwas something to shake me up, but anyway, now is the time that everyone will hear the news, at least thefamily, especially me who was still very shaken up by Mum Bernadette's death.
I arrive with my eyes almost nailed shut, since I practically didn't sleep the whole flight, I was just focused and thinking about getting home, I didn't even take my suitcase, just my most important things, like money and documents, which I looked around for, I left at around 10pm to arrive here at 9pm the next day, I take a deep breath, I walk through the terminal, well as expected there would be no one.
I went outside and got a taxi, specifying my home address, where I looked around, almost crying, I'd left everything behind, Claiomh Solais, my presentations, Croix, everything to go back and give up, I honestly don't know how I'm going to recover after all this.
I get home, pay the taxi fare, get out of the car and look around, I'm even snorting a bit, I know it's going to be complicated, I walk inside, past the fence, open the little gate, I open the door, as I enter the house I see that everyone is in the living room, I come in and see Mum Laura sitting watching TV eating ice cream, Next to her is Hellene, Grandma and Grandpa, Holly has no idea, she's asleep while everyone else is watching television, I'm all out of it, I'm still afraid, I even try to open my mouth to say something, but I accidentally step on something and everyone looks at me, so I can't help myself and I start to cry.
"Chariot!" Mum gets up and comes running to hug me.
"Oh Chariot, did something happen? You came so early, we thought you'd stay the whole tour" said my grandmother.
"Yes, it happened..." I say, still crying a lot and I look right into my mum's eyes, who was already crying and wipes my tears away.
"I know how terrible it must have been to receive news like that, I told Croix that it would be better to cancel the performances, but she told me that you were going to rock, then recently I hear that the performance in New York has been cancelled, that the one in Los Angeles no one knows what happened, I started to worry, just as I can't get in touch with her at all, tell me what happened if you want, my child" Mum said and I nodded, going over to the sofa.
I sit there tired and crying, I see everyone welcoming me, my grandparents even offering me ice-cream, which I make a point of eating because I'm hungry, I see the television showing cartoons, I feel like staying and watching, going back to being a child where I didn't have to do any of this, but I can't stop thinking about the things that have happened recently.
I take a deep breath, staring into everyone's eyes, and I think I'd better confess straight away, I know they're my family.
[...]
I cried even more as I told them everything, I knew it couldn't be good news, but here we are, we've come as far as we can, I see expressions of shock among the three of them, they couldn't have imagined that things would take such a turn, but it was the truth, I won't hide it from anyone, I'd rather they knew straight away.
"Chariot..." My mum said.
"All I want more than anything is to get away from Croix, to never go near her again, to see her far away, now there's no second chance, well Mum Bernadette was right about that, I shouldn't have stayed with that girl, she only hurt me and used me..." I say as I cry.
"This isn't the same Croix that April created, it definitely isn't, something has happened to her and it's not good, right now... But we can't cry about it, you were great to come here and tell the truth, I still can't believe how all this time she's been hiding the truth from you and manipulating you, that's not right, you've got this weight on you now, but now what can we do? Your fate has been sealed, the chosen one will come along one day and you have to be ready for it" said my mum.
"I don't know what to do... I just want to give up... Everything's gone wrong, my gigs, my concerts, everything's ruined, everything... I don't have Claiomh Solais any more" I say sheepishly.
"That's really hard to think about right now, but well, rest up, just looking at your eyes I can tell you're tired, you didn't sleep the whole flight, tomorrow is a new day, your other mum may be gone, but I'm still here and I'm going to try my best to make Bernadette proud" Mum said, stroking my head.
I'm really quite sleepy, so I get a hug from Mum followed by a kiss on the forehead, walking to my room I can see a photo in the portrait and it's the one we took in Luna Nova, the two of us together, one of the few good memories, it was a little after she won the 2005 broom relay, we took that wonderful photo, Croix... Why did you turn out like that, we had a marvellous life ahead of us and you ruined everything good that was to come.
[...]
I woke up, at least I gave myself the chance to wake up, it was the limit of how much I could sleep, I wanted to continue at least, I had bizarre dreams, where I was going to meet this chosen one, it seemed like a vision, those brown hair, it was the most I could remember, my mind couldn't see the face, but the ponytail up I could recognise.
I leave the room, still very down, not wanting to do anything, but I look at the clock and it's one o'clock in the afternoon, I've really slept a lot this morning, it must be lunchtime by now, I don't doubt it, when I get to the living room I see my mum watching TV, she's with the girls eating, I can smell lunch and I go into the kitchen.
"Good morning, Chariot, you slept a lot, it seems" said Granny, and I nodded.
"It must have been a very difficult night" said Grandad.
"Do you want us to put the food on for you?" I nod and pick up a plate.
With my plate in hand, I take my lunch, go to the dining table and eat it, while still very shaken, I look around, take a deep breath, just think about what happened, things are still very new in my head, I'm simply leaving the show in the heat of the moment, I came home crying, and on top of that... That thing with Croix too. When I've finished eating, I go into the living room and sit down on the sofa. I stare at my mum and she stares back at me, the girls seem to be doing well, only Hellene seems to be sadder, apparently mum Bernadette's death has affected her a lot.
"Did you sleep well?" My mum asks and I nod.
"It was better than sleeping in the same bed as Croix, so that's a good night's sleep" said my mum.
"You really want to break up with Croix once and for all, but I can understand it, that girl was immature with you, she did horrible things, I just hope April does something, I haven't said anything to her about what happened, I'll talk to her later, or I don't know, she must have told Mum herself, anyway, this can't go unpunished" Mum said and I waved my hands.
"Please Mum, don't take this to court or anything, I know Croix did something horrible, but she doesn't deserve to go to prison either, especially as I'm going to end up with the same fate" I'm still reeling from the threat that was made to me if I told her everything.
"I'm not so stupid as to tell everyone everything, she has to pay and she will, but we can't really prove anything, Croix isn't stupid, she knows us well and is well aware that an investigation could jeopardise everything and bring you down with it, so we're not going to do anything, but what about you Chariot, what are you going to do?" I honestly don't know what to do yet.
"What am I going to do? I just don't want to remember any of this, Claiomh Solais isn't in my hand, at most I have a replica, I'm alone in the world, with only the leftover money from my tour and I don't even know how much I got, nor if Croix will leave me with some of the money" I say snorting.
"That's already been sorted out, I've got your money saved and Croix has always split the money fairly at each performance, your share is with me, when you turn 18 it will go into your bank account and then you can spend it on whatever you want, whether you want to continue performing or not is up to you, but now we have to put our minds right" Mum's right.
"That's the hard part, there have only been tragedies in my life and I could have just avoided them, I regret ignoring Woodward's warning, I should have broken up with Croix when everything was going well, or done it before, when Mum Bernadette had already warned me that this thing wasn't going to work out" I say almost crying.
"And how could you know? You're 17 years old Chariot, you did what you thought was right, you didn't want to lose everything you'd worked so hard to build, I was going to make a decision like that too, I risked everything too, look at my situation now... In 1990 I had the option of choosing between the McLaren family or the Cavendish family, not even Bernadette wanted to choose to go home, she wanted to stay here with me, here in the McLaren family home and who knows what the Cavendish would be like without Bernadette with Daryl totally in charge, I made the choice to try and save the Cavendish and bring back the former glory of the Cavendish family, to try and bring back a sparkle, that which existed here, our family was worthy of those American sitcoms from the 80s where everyone was very happy, very different from the Cavendishes, that's why I wanted to change, I took a risk, but today I'm left with the regret stuck in my throat, especially with..." I notice the tears falling from Mum's face.
"Mum Bernadette's death..." I say as I see my mum nodding.
"What if I accepted Bernadette's idea of just staying here? There would never be that stupid power struggle, we could simply be a united family, even you could be here living with us alongside your sisters forever, my wife wouldn't be murdered, I wouldn't be cursed and everything would be fine and colourful, it would be a risk for the Cavendish family to fall apart because of it, but at least a lot of people's lives would be better... Me making that decision has killed a lot of people... I feel as if I have the blood of those people on my hand to this day... I wanted to be a hero, I wanted to save everyone, but I only ended up ruining people's lives, and in the end I lost the ones I love the most... I deserve it, I deserve this, I'm an idiot" Mum won't stop crying and I hug her, I even feel more pain, what happened to me is nothing compared to Mum Laura's pain.
Grandma heard it too and went to hug Mum, even Hellene, even at the age of four, came, followed by little Holly, it's so sad to think about what's happening, we don't really know, there's Mum Bernadette's death, there's Croix's magic theft, plus the fact that she hurt me, all of this happening at once, it's just got me down, my career has all gone down the drain, I don't know how I can recover from all this.
I see the news on television and it's shown that my show is cancelled and there are a lot of people booing me, I didn't expect things to be like this, for the nine witches, why is this happening.
"Shiny Chariot cancels the New York show on her World Tour, how could she do this to her fans after the Los Angeles debacle?" The reporter said.
"Booing, booing and more booing, I should have carried on presenting..." I say, looking at the telly.
"Shiny Chariot we want our money back! You owe us! We didn't come all this way to see closed doors! I just wanted to see you! My daughter has been waiting all summer to see you and you've made her cry" I keep seeing that until I'm really shaken up, cringing.
"I did it... It's my fault..." I'm crying at the telly.
"This isn't your fault... People have no idea what happened behind the scenes and they're not going to find out any time soon. We'd better watch something else" said Mum as she changed the channel on the television. We soon heard sounds around the house and it was Aunt April rushing in.
"Laura! Did you see what happened? Chariot cancelled the... Chariot! What are you doing here?" It seems Mrs Jordan has found out everything.
"It's a long storyApril, a long story" said Mum.
"I hope there's a good explanation, because Chariot being here in Dublin must have been worrying, and where's Croix? Why hasn't she turned up at home? She hasn't spoken to me on my mobile for a few days... I want to know everything, my own daughter won't talk to me" said Aunt April and wow, we're going to have a lot to talk about.
"Croix didn't come with me, I came to Dublin on my own" I can even see tears streaming down Jordan's face.
"My daughter didn't die, did she? Don't tell me something like that happened to Croix... Bernadette's death wasn't enough, now this bomb" It was worse.
"She died for me... I'll tell the lady" I could see Aunt April's astonished and at the same time relieved eyes.
I take a deep breath, I'm almost crying here, I could see from Mrs Jordan's expression that she's even worried, so much so that we sat down at the dinner table, and I could see that I'm going to have to be honest, my fear is that she'll start defending Croix's actions, or that the friendship with Mum Laura will end because I talk about it and the two of them will start arguing.
[...]
"That was the truth, I don't want to lie about what happened Mrs Jordan, I didn't want to tell you so now..." She looks at me with a shocked expression and then puts her hand on my shoulder.
"Did you think I was going to blindly defend my daughter and cause an argument between me and her mum? I would never do that, I know about Croix's mistakes and I've been charging her ever since that accident with Claiomh Solais, but it seems that the girl just ignores it, she's so fixated on it that she's not the same Croix I adopted, she's different, I want to hear from her if she has any defence, because I already believe the version she told me" said Aunt April.
"I'm sorry for causing this, you must be pretty annoyed with Croix now, aren't you?" I ask her.
"I'm annoyed, a lot, I hope to hear a good version from her, in any case Croix won't be welcome home until things are sorted out, I'm already deciding and I'll sort things out, I don't want her to be near Megan, besides she's out of the Saoirse Games, just like she'll sort out her corner, she has money to live on her own from now on" I'm shocked.
"Calm down April, you're not going to kick Croix out of the house, I know she messed up, but she's only 18, think about the lives of girls like her... Girls like you who are kicked out of their homes even before that and have to..." I'm surprised the discussion is going the other way round.
"She's rich at the very least Laura, those shows must have given both girls a few million, she'll know how to get by with what she's got, at least this will serve to make that girl think a little about her actions, it's not like she'll leave empty-handed, she'll still come here to Dublin for treatment and future surgery, but nothing more than that, I want her to get by, for her to learn that I'm not going to put my hand over her head, enough, I'm even being nice, did you see what she did to Chariot for almost a whole year? Is that the daughter I raised? I'm disappointed to say the least, I hope this time will make her reflect on her actions" said Mrs Jordan, standing up.
"She's just a child" said my mum.
"She's a grown woman, if she wants to act like that with her daughter and everyone else, commit crimes of magic and get away with it, she won't, she'll act like a grown woman from now on, I'm going to pack Croix's things, when she arrives I'll listen to everything she has to say" I did it... I see her leaving.
I look at Mum and she looks at me, we should have kept our mouths shut or at least Aunt April shouldn't have seen me, so I'd never tell her what happened, well now the damage has been done, we're back on the sofa and staring at each other, even my grandmother is worried, things have escalated to another kind of situation.
"Now what?" I say to my mum.
"We can't interfere with what April is going to do, she has every reason to do it, otherwise I still think it's cruel to kick a child out of the house, even if she is already 18, the world will be cruel to Croix" I know that, but it will be cruel to me too.
"Well, anyway, I've managed to get away from Croix, she's no longer studying in Luna Nova and she's not going to live with Aunt April, but still... I'm worried about what lies ahead, I don't know if I'm up to being Shiny Chariot, even without any support from Croix and her technologies, I'll be left behind" I say sullenly.
"I can talk toApril about it later... Anyway, it's bombs and more bombs coming home, this summer is really going to go down as something traumatic in my life, all I hoped was that 2007 would be better, but this happens, worst of all is that I can't even have proof to arrest Daryl for what happened to Bernadette, I didn't even have time to find a cure for her, even more so because I have to focus on maintaining the cure for Diana's curse" Why does everything have to be so... The world is unfair.
[...]
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
"A week after I'd returned home, I was still too shaken to do anything, I didn't want to know about ShinyChariot and there was even some news about it on television and also on the internet and none of it wasgood, I was realising that because of the performance in Los Angeles and the absence of the one in NewYork, people's opinions of me had changed drastically, which made a perfect case for the witches to start
hating me more publicly than ever before, but there was one more piece of news to come since Aunt Aprilhad actually kept her promise."
At least there's one thing I've learnt these days, and that's how to work the internet and the computer, these social networks that I used to see Croix using for me, now I see that everything has a different opinion, my followers are only decreasing day by day, what I was already happy about reaching 500,000 are starting to decrease, that's a disgrace.
I see my mum coming into my room, while I'm still looking at the computer, at least there's one thing I'm doing that's good, and that's playing these little social networking games, they've been a lot of fun in my spare time
"Croix arrived in Dublin today, I was at April's house and we heard her version" I even stopped playing to find out what happened.
"What did she say to you?" I ask Mum.
"She didn't lie, everything you said to us, she said to us, is really true, she stole the magic, she wanted to do it to get above Claiomh Solais, who in the middle of it talked about her crazy plan to change things" I knew it, at least that Meridies knows how to do one thing.
"What about Aunt April? Did she really kick Croix out?" I ask Mum and she nods.
"It was inevitable, I even tried, but I've never seen April so furious in my life, she managed to shut me up, it was scary, it reminded me a lot of Bernadette, which made me even more upset... I didn't make a point of questioning it afterwards, now Croix is gone, she took the car and drove off, we just don't know where, all we know is that she left with her car somewhere, I think maybe travelling aimlessly" Well now at least I can have peace without Croix bothering me, but on the other hand she's really gone... I still have to process everything, even with all the hurt my feelings are still strong for her.
"Now I just have to get on with life... In a fortnight' time I'll be going back to school... To think that I'll soon be talking about it to the girls... I'm just not going to mention the magical crimes she committed" I say sullenly.
"Well now, just worry about that for now, you still have a final year to graduate as a witch, that I'm sure my girl will manage, I believe in you Chariot" said my mum who even kissed my forehead.
She left the room and I went back to playing, at least without Croix bothering me for now, but on the downside I have to take care of several social networks on my own that she registered, I could even talk to the girls, but I think I'll wait for things to cool down here, it's been a week since I left the last presentation.
I spend some time looking at everything, answering some comments, saying that I'm going on hiatus, that I'm not psychologically well due to events arising from some performances, personal moments and everything else, I think it's more justifiable that way, until I see the door opening again.
"Aunt April? What are you doing here?" I ask her.
"I know this might be too much, but we have to make one last trip, for your mum" I'm a bit shocked.
"She just came in, I wanted to take you, but the curse won't let me" said my mum.
I connect the dots and I think I know what the trip is about, I switch off the computer straight away and I'm already packing, I'm even running to get my clothes, getting dressed in the bathroom, getting ready and everything, that's what I want to do.
"We have to pay her a visit..." Mrs Jordan said, stroking my head and I hugged her.
"Thank you Mrs Jordan..." I say all moved to tears.
"She's your mum after all, Croix stopped you from going to see her when the worst happened, I'm not going, we'll go together, I can take care of Daryl" said Aunt April.
"Take good care of Chariot, I'll be waiting for you when you get home"
She nods and hugs her friend, so I leave the house with my clothes in a suitcase and go downstairs, following Mrs Jordan to her car, opening the boot I put my suitcase in and get in, we're leaving very late for Scotland, it's going to be a long journey, but it's going to be worth every minute.
[...]
We arrive at the Cavendish mansion, there's a personal cemetery for the family itself where the members are buried in personalised tombstones, I remember seeing it as a child, when I arrived with the car I could see from afar that Diana was running, she must be loving playing around, so we enter the mansion, and there we are already approached by the wicked witch.
"You've really grown up, Chariot Du Nord" she said with her usual cynical manner.
"I came here just to see my mum, I don't want to disturb anyone, we're practically on our way out" she replies.
"And if I don't" Daryl's taunts come and April gets in the way, turning her wand into a whole firearm.
"I don't think you want to know how it's going to turn out" She laughs.
"I don't want to go toe-to-toe with you, you weirdo, it would upset poor Diana's eyes to see you on the ground defeated, you're both too weak to fight me, and poor Diana doesn't want to find out what a failure of a sister she has" I even clench my fists.
"I should have gone straight to the cemetery, I shouldn't have turned up for you Daryl, come on Chariot, leave her alone" Signalled Jordan.
"You can go and see Bernadette, you're the ones who put her there, take the opportunity and tell her what a failure you are, she'll hear a lot about it from hell" said Daryl, teasing us.
We left the mansion and got into the car. The family cemetery is a little further away from the property, so much so that you drive along a dirt track with trees around it, which the car passed until it arrived very quickly and we got down there.
There are several gravestones of all the Cavendishes who were buried, beautiful, very stylish gravestones, some with statues, others with the appearance of each one until we reached the most recent "Bernadette Cavendish Stewart 1972 - 2007" "I am the owner of my destiny", I always heard the phrase coming from her, it's one that always defined her very well, the photo of Mum with her beautiful green eyes, was very different from a traditional Cavendish
"Goodbye Mum, I've come to see you one last time, I hope that one day I can make you really proud, I'll do my best to make my life worthy of your pride, I'll take good care of Diana, Hellene, Mum Laura and everyone you love, I'll be the best daughter you can hope for, I love you so much Mum" I say already crying and leaving some flowers on the headstone.
"Bernadette... I had already come here when you left... Now I'm bringing your other daughter so you can have a chance to say goodbye, hello again Bernadette, I too will take good care of everyone you love very much, especially your wife, Laura is in great need of emotional support, nothing like a friend who is a sister to her to be by her side and now this beautiful girl you helped raise by her side" Aunt April said.
"We'll both be proud of you, your death won't be in vain Mum Bernadette, I hope everything is wonderful wherever you are, that you can rest in peace, things will get better one day and I believe that, I'll always remember all the wonderful advice you gave me and all the years you were a wonderful mother to me, bye Mum" I said waving to the gravestone as I cried.
I was about to burst into tears, but Aunt April was by my side giving me all the emotional support I needed, as things were getting very sad, Mum's gravestone was at least beautiful, I think she must have asked for it to be done like that, there's even a grave right next to it, I hope it takes a long time for that grave next to it to be occupied, it must be Mum Laura's, there are also the others, those must be Diana's, Hellene's and everything else, you can tell by the look. Well it's time to go, let's go home, I've done what I wanted to do, goodbye Mum Bernadette.
"I couldn't help but tell my family, which led to Croix's expulsion from home, which perhaps culminated in themost abrupt change in Meridies' personality and her making the crazy plan that she did today, from what littleI know from now on she settled in Cork, then took her things and went to live for a long time in the UnitedStates where she studied at MIT, with the money she had spent, that's what she told me recently, my life canalready imagine what happened."
See you, truth wtiches...