That evening, Jaime felt awkward at dinner, but he did his best to hide it. He still ignored what was bothering Lady Brienne so much. They had been sharing jokes and laughing, and a moment later she looked as if she'd seen a ghost or as if she'd suddenly felt unwell, though for the life of him, he hadn't been able to tell what had triggered the change, and he could only hope that the reason didn't lie in something he'd inadvertently said or done.
All in all, he was a little worried and frustrated because he wished to know what had happened, but he couldn't pressure her to tell him. And it looked like she wasn't going to open up to him anytime soon.
Lord Selwyn and Tyrion carried the weight of the conversation, and Jaime tried to take part and insert his own contributions, but even he had to admit that he was not being precisely brilliant. Needless to say, Tyrion noticed his subdued mood, and he and Jaime exchanged meaningful looks and pointed slightly to Lady Brienne with their heads. She was quieter than at lunch, what wasn't very telling as she wasn't a compulsive conversationalist, but even so, her taciturn behavior didn't go unnoticed.
When dinner ended, she asked her father for permission to retire for the night, and he granted her her wish. "Good night, my lords. Father," she said in farewell, and the three men responded in kind. She then turned to leave, and Jaime's stare followed her regretfully.
"Lord Tyrion," Lord Selwyn addressed, once Lady Brienne had left the main hall. "Feel free to make yourself at home. May I suggest the library? It's quite decent and I hope you find it suitable enough for your tastes, if you fancy spending your time there. I'm afraid I'm going to deprive you of your brother's company for a while, if you don't mind," the older man politely said, dismissing Tyrion with as much tact as it was possible for such a direct person as Lord Selwyn was known to be.
Jaime's brother didn't need to be told twice to understand the implications of his host's dismissal. The little bastard is too cunning for his own good, Jaime thought fondly."Excellent suggestion, my lord, thank you for your thoughtfulness. There are scarce things I enjoy as much as a good session of reading. Well, I'll go find my way to the library then, if my presence isn't needed anymore," Tyrion announced, seemingly having decided to stay on his best behavior, for the moment being at least. Jaime sighed discreetly in relief.
"Enjoy yourself, Lord Tyrion. The staff will tend to your needs anytime," the host assured.
Tyrion nodded his head to those present in the room. "My lord. Brother." The others returned the nod and he disappeared into the hallway.
"Well, alone at last, Ser Jaime. Would you accompany me to my study, please? It's my favorite place in the house to talk," the man requested, though Jaime knew that it wasn't one of those requests that couldn't be declined without incurring offense.
Jaime swallowed and stood from his chair, bracing himself for whatever was to be broached in that talk. The good lord must have sensed something going on between his daughter and Jaime, in all probability, and that didn't bode well.
Am I ready to have that conversation? Jaime felt nerves pool in the pit of his stomach. However, he'd never chickened out from a challenge or a confrontation and he wouldn't avoid it then either. "It will be my pleasure, my lord," he acquiesced, apparently composed, though he felt anything but.
"Very good. Come with me, young man." The host led the way and Jaime followed behind through a series of corridors until they reached the mentioned study. It wasn't excessively ample, but it looked cozy and had a fireplace with a lively fire roaring in it.
"Take a seat, please," Lord Selwyn invited, and Jaime complied, facing the huge man on the other side of the desk. "Ser Jaime, I won't beat about the bush. Have you taken an interest in my Brienne? I've seen the way you look at her."
Jaime almost choked and coughed to clear his throat. Lord Selwyn served him a cup of wine from a pitcher on the desk and pushed it to him. Jaime took it and drank eagerly as Lord Selwyn served a cup for himself.
"It's... It's a bit soon to answer that question, my lord," Jaime admitted, trying to duck out of having to give a straight answer. He felt intruded and he wasn't in the mood for airing his intimate feelings to a stranger, but it turned out that said stranger was the father of the lady who had been filling his thoughts for the whole day, so it was understandable that Lord Selwyn looked for her daughter's interests and wanted to protect her.
"Come on, I'm not asking you if you love her, for the gods' sake. I'm aware that it's too soon for that. But it's obvious that you don't find her disagreeable or distasteful. I normally can tell when someone is faking, and I haven't formed that impression about you," Lord Selwyn stated plainly, as if he wasn't discussing Jaime's feelings, but any other safe topic.
Jaime didn't blush often, but he was sure that he must be deep red right that moment, and the fire didn't contribute to improve his predicament. He reflected on his next words for some moments. "You're right, my lord. I don't find your daughter distasteful in the least. In fact, I enjoy her company. It could be affirmed that I like her, yes."
Lord Selwyn cracked a smile. "You surprise me. I expected a pompous and standoffish Lannister who would look down his nose at us, but instead you aren't like I expected. And I definitely like your brother a lot. A smart boy with a big heart, even if he tries to hide it with his incessant display of wit."
Jaime agreed, returning the smile. "That's an excellent description of my brother, yes."
"Ser, forgive me my bluntness for what I'm going to expound. The majority of people wouldn't ever consider my Brienne a beauty, but well, we know that each person perceives beauty differently, so if you think that she's beautiful or not, it's no one business but your own. That being clarified, I daresay that she's impressed you quite a bit, hasn't she? You don't feel bothered or belittled by a woman who knows how to fight and who doesn't behave in a ladylike manner, do you? I have eyes and ears in this castle, and I've watched you personally too, Ser Jaime. I saw you with her at the training yards, and the guards I assigned to escort the both of you have told me about your short trip to the cliffs. They didn't listen to your conversation out of respect for your privacy, but they have reported that you looked like you were having a great time with Brienne. And unless you're an accomplished actor, that's an indication that you like her," Lord Selwyn pointed out. "And that's much more than can be said of others she's had the misfortune of crossing paths with. Did you know that she's been through three betrothals?"
Jaime nodded, because he knew. She'd mentioned it earlier. "I know now. She's told me about her third failed betrothal today." Jaime emphasized in a slightly reproachful tone, unable to contain himself. He wasn't a fool and was aware of how the world worked, but making a poor girl go through that... Cersei came to his mind and how Tywin had been so willing to sell her to the highest bidder. And Jaime himself wasn't different in his father's eyes. The offspring of nobility were used as pawns on the political board of the kingdoms and they very rarely had a say about the matches that were imposed on them. Jaime remembered his own aunt, Genna, Tywin's only sister. She'd been forced by her father to wed, at a very early age, Emmon Frey, one of old Walder's many sons and an unworthy man as they come. Even Tywin had disapproved of that match arranged unwisely for his sister, because House Frey not only was a vassal house of the Tullys, but because the majority of his members were known by their cowardice and unreliability. Genna's marriage to Emmon was unhappy and it was rumored that fidelity wasn't precisely followed by any of the spouses. It all enraged Tywin and, according to him, it was a thorn in the image of strength and unity that House Lannister supposedly projected to the world.
Lord Selwyn raised an eyebrow. "I know what you're thinking. That I imposed shit matches on my own daughter, and I admit my mistake. I won't ever try to force her anymore to do antyhing she doesn't want to do, including marriage. I blame myself for having made my girl suffer for that reason, and I've stopped attempting to find her a husband." Then the lord looked at him more intently. "So I've left her free to decide by herself. That doesn't mean that I don't have a say in her choices, if I consider that she doesn't choose wisely, but in the end, the last word is hers. I only aim to protect her in any way I can. And Ser, I must tell you that I won't allow you to toy with her or dishonor her only to cast her aside when you grow tired of her. If your intentions aren't honest, then you can go on your way. My Brienne is worth much more than that. She's worth a true man who loves and values her as she deserves. I won't accept less than that. She's been badly hurt, also and especially because of my actions unfortunately, and I want to make amends to her." He paused to take a gulp from his goblet of wine. "My point is, Ser Jaime, that if you aren't that man for her, then fuck off from here before you break her heart. Anyway, our house is just a vassal. Your father would never consent to such a match if you're interested in Brienne to that extent. So, to sum it up, your presence here might become most inconvenient and unwelcome, unless you keep your distance and don't give her false hope. She is easily impressionable and has a kind heart. I wouldn't take kindly to you breaking it. Have I made myself clear, Ser Jaime?" Lord Selwyn reaffirmed his speech with an earnest glare in Jaime's direction, and strangely he didn't feel the impulse to retort with one of his usual witty and sharp responses, his gut reaction to provocation. He understood that the older man was just trying to protect his only daughter. It was true that he hadn't been the father of the year since the loss of his other children and wife, but he still was Lady Brienne's father, and Jaime respected that.
He swallowed, uncertain and confused, because he had no idea where he stood regarding Brienne. What do I truly want? Does it matter? But he didn't have an answer for that yet. It was too soon. Why couldn't young men and women be allowed enough time to come to know each other before reaching a decision, or simply enjoy their time together without others seeing signs of indecency and impropriety in it? Jaime hated the pressure. It reminded him of Tywin. And of the injustices of life. He knew that a commoner who struggled to survive and to hardly get by would laugh at his supposed troubles. Everyone had their chains and struggles, no matter the status.
"Understood, my lord. I respect Lady Brienne and it's not my intention to harm her, or to do anything that might lead to hurting her in any way, I swear." It was true, and the best assurance Jaime could offer given the circumstances.
The lord hummed non-committally, looking sufficiently appeased, in appearance at least. "Very well, Ser Jaime. I hope that my good impression of you isn't wrong. Now, if you don't have any questions, you may retire," he dismissed, not warmly, but not coldly either.
"Good night, my lord," Jaime said in farewell, bowing his head.
"Good night, Ser Jaime," Lord Selwyn said in return, and Jaime left the room with a turmoil swirling inside of him.