(The scene opens in a high school classroom. Beavis and Butt-Head are sitting at their desks, looking bored. A substitute teacher, Mr. Smith, walks in.)
Mr. Smith: (sternly) Alright, class. I'm Mr. Smith, your substitute teacher for today. Let's start by taking roll call. (looks at attendance sheet) Beavis... Butt-Head... (pauses, looking disapproving) I assume these are nicknames?
Beavis: (confused) Huh? No, those are our names...
Butt-Head: (equally confused) Yeah, our real names...
Mr. Smith: (skeptical) I see. Well, I'm not going to call you by what I assume are vulgar nicknames. (to Beavis) What's your real name, son?
Beavis: (hesitant) Uh... Beavis...
Mr. Smith: (sternly) No, no, your real name. Your given name.
Beavis: (reluctantly) Fine... It's still Beavis...
Mr. Smith: (unsatisfied) And what about you? (to Butt-Head)
Butt-Head: (equally reluctant) Butt-Head...
Mr. Smith: (frustrated) Boys, I'm trying to be serious here. Tell me your real names.
(The scene ends with Beavis and Butt-Head looking frustrated and Mr. Smith looking determined)
Mr. Smith: (sternly) I'm not going to call you by those... names. (writes on the blackboard) From now on, I'll refer to you as... (thinks for a moment) Balthazar and Buford.
Beavis: (outraged) Huh?! No way!
Butt-Head: (equally outraged) Yeah, that's not our names!
Mr. Smith: (firmly) I don't want to hear it, Balthazar and Buford. Those are your names now.
(The rest of the class starts snickering)
Beavis: (whispering to Butt-Head) This guy's a total dork...
Butt-Head: (whispering back) Yeah, let's make fun of him...
(The two start making faces and mocking Mr. Smith behind his back)
Mr. Smith: (oblivious) Now, let's move on to today's lesson... (starts writing on the blackboard)
(The scene ends with Beavis and Butt-Head continuing to make fun of Mr. Smith, while the rest of the class tries to stifle their laughter)
(Mr. Smith continues teaching, unaware of the mockery behind his back)
Mr. Smith: (writing on the blackboard) Now, class, let's discuss the importance of...
(Beavis and Butt-Head start making silly faces and gestures, trying to get the attention of their classmates)
Beavis: (whispering) Hey, check out Balthazar and Buford! (giggles)
Butt-Head: (whispering back) Yeah, we're like, totally famous now! (snickers)
(The rest of the class starts to crack up, trying to stifle their laughter)
Mr. Smith: (oblivious) What's so funny, class? (looks around) Balthazar and Buford, I'm sure you're not causing any trouble... (gives them a suspicious look)
Beavis: (innocently) Who, us? No way, Mr. Smith! (giggles)
Butt-Head: (equally innocent) Yeah, we're just, like, totally interested in the lesson! (snickers)
(Mr. Smith looks unconvinced, but continues teaching)
(The scene ends with Beavis and Butt-Head continuing to make fun of Mr. Smith, while the rest of the class tries to keep a straight face)
