Charlie
In the morning, Starscream, Baxter, and Pentious sat on the couch answering everyone else's questions. I tried to help answer some questions, but it became abundantly clear that I didn't know even a fraction as much as those three knew. So I sat back as they answered everyone's questions.
Husk incredulously asked, "Wait, so you're saying you're an alien robot?"
Stinger also asked, "So, you from... What, fuckin'... Mars?"
Starscream scoffed. "For the last damn time, I'm an alien robotic-organism. And no, I'm not from Mars. I'm from the metal planet Cybertron."
"What the hell's the difference?" Husk shrugged.
Starscream elaborated, "Just saying that I'm an alien robot implies that I am a non-living machine that was built. Which I am not. I am a living being that was born."
Lucia confusedly asked, "Wait, how the shit could a giant robo-organism be born? What, are there giant robo-vaginas?"
"Do you guys have sex?" Angel Dust abruptly asked.
Starscream answered, "First of all, no, Cybertronians do not have sexual intercourse. Secondly, when a Cybertronian Spark is born from the Well of All Sparks, it emerges from the metal of the planet itself in a temporary liquid metal body called a protoform. Then, it develops into a full grown Cybertronian, the metal solidifying into a distinct body with an alt mode.
Vaggie interjected, "Just wanted to say how happy I am that I totally called this shit."
Pentious asked, "How?"
Vaggie explained, "Back when I saw Starscream on the news when he attacked the Vees, I totally called the fact that he wasn't human."
Baxter commented, "Huh, nice."
Dainty asked, "Wait, what are Sparks?"
Pentious answered, "Think of Sparks as the Cybertronian equivalent of Souls."
Alastor intruded, "Well, if you Cybertronians are born, then who raises you? Do you have parents? Mothers?"
Starscream explained, "Most Cybertronians are taken in by a fully-grown, mature Cybertronian called a Mentor, the rough equivalent of you humans' parents. Those who aren't taken in immediately are raised in development bays, the rough equivalent of a human orphanage."
Alastor added, "Did you have a mother?"
Starscream answered with a nostalgic smile on his face, "Oh, yes. I did. Her name and as Cryak, and she was the best."
Tamo exclaimed in awe, "I can't believe we've been working for an alien... A fuckin' alien..."
Angel Dust asked, "How do you guys date? Are there gays, straights, bis, pans? And how's gender?"
Starscream explained, "You organics love to overcomplicate things. On Cybertron, there is no such thing as 'sexuality' or 'gender'. We love who we love and only adopted gender when we first came into contact with organic species."
Angel further asked, "Then how do you guys decide what gender to adopt? How'd you decide to be a guy?"
Starscream elaborated, "We mainly choose a gender we lean more towards in terms of personal feeling. However, we do take into account what traits are deemed feminine and masculine by organic species."
Lucia then asked, "Hey, boss? How old are you?"
Starscream pondered, "I'd say... Roughly 70 million years old."
Stinger and Husk choked on their drinks, Vaggie gaped, Alastor stiffened, and everyone else looked caught off guard.
Vaggie shouted in disbelief, "70 million?!"
Starscream replied, "Yes. We live a long time."
Springer coughed, "Fuck, you're old as shit."
Starscream defensively argued, "I'm not that old. The older of us live to the age of billions."
I explained, "Well, humans are used to living for about 80 years, so being 70 million years old is a bit startling."
Lucia joked, "Looks like Al's got competition for the oldest fossil here."
Starscream rolled his eyes but smirked. It seemed like he enjoyed the joke, but also wanted to seem annoyed.
They all asked him a menagerie of questions before we heard a knock at the door. Eventually, the inevitable question came up.
Lucia asked, "Why didn't you tell anyone besides Baxter, Charlie, and Pentious?"
Bacter excused, "He obviously wanted to keep him being an alien a secret, and he worked with me and Pentious while we were alive, so we already knew."
Lucia further questioned, "Then why'd he tell Charlie? He told her, but he didn't tell us? That's bullshit!"
Starscream lied, "She walked in on me and Baxter talking about it." He gave us a look that seemed to say, 'You better play along, or else.'
Baxter agreed, "Yeah, she found out by accident."
I wanted to tell the truth, but Starscream had a half-threatening-half-pleading look for me not to. So, I sighed and acquiesced. "Yeah. I walked in on them discussing it."
Thankfully, before we could be pressed for any more questions, there was a knocking at the door. Pentious shot up and smiled. "Ah, my package has arrived!"
He dandily walked up to the door and opened it, revealing two girls. I vaguely recognized them as Carmilla Carmine's daughters. They had him sign off on a form and had some packages wheeled in.
I asked, "Pentious, what's this?"
"Oh, just some materials for a new invention of mine!" Pentious happily answered.
Vaggie swiped a tag off of one of the crates. She suspiciously asked, "What the hell do you need Carmilla Carmine gear for? She's a weapons dealer, shitass."
Pentious explained, "It's for my skin-flayer! I can't wait to test it on the other residents."
"And why is that?" Baxter sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Pentious replied, "Everyone here is being too nice! It's suspicious..."
Starscream groaned. "For Primus' sake, stop being so untrusting!"
Husk asked, "Wait, what the fuck is a Primus?"
Starscream growled. "Primus is the Cybertronian creator god. He's not a what, he's a who."
Vaggie turned the discussion back on the subject before we strayed too far. "Well, you can't do that."
Pentious whined, "Why not!"
Vaggie answered, "Because redemption isn't shooting people. You need to get rid of this shit."
"But I already paid for it!" Pentious whined again.
"Doesn't matter," Vaggie growled, "You have to get rid of it. Don't even get me started on your eggbois."
All of our attention turned to Pentious' eggbois playing with some of the stuff in the crates. They were notorious for causing commotion. One activated a laser gun and shot a hole into the ceiling.
Vaggie growled. "See! You need to get rid of them and the shipment."
Pentious immediately grabbed the little goobers. "Not my eggbois!" Starscream asked, "Does he really have to get rid of them?"
Vaggie scoffed. "He does. If he wants to prove he's serious about redemption, he has to get rid of problem-causers."
Starscream looked like he was about to object, but Pentious interrupted. He sobbed as he let go of his eggbois. "Go, eggbois. Don't cry, but you can no longer stay with me. Goodbye!" He teared up as the eggboisbsimply walked away with Vaggie, saying, "Okay Boss!"
I sighed, but with the new deadline, I didn't have time to stay put on one thing. "Alright, everyone! Today, we're doing trust exercises."
They all gathered around to start the exercises, but Starscream pressed his ear and began nodding. He had a commlink in his ear, which seemed to be a standard for all Cybertronians. Eventually, he sighed.
"Well, everyone," he announced, "I'm afraid I cannot participate in your activities."
I asked, "Why not?"
Starscream answered, "Just a meeting. Overlord stuff, you know?"
I nodded and sighed. I knew that he had to go to this meeting. More because of personal obligation than actual compulsory attendance. Having been a Valedictorian for two different better-than-Ivy-League colleges, the Royal Vos Institute of Science and the Cybertron War Academy, he took his career very seriously. So, I understood why he took Overlord meeting attendance so seriously.
"Well, alright. Good luck!" I bid. He smiled back at me as he walked out the door. As expected, Alastor, also being an Overlord, followed suit, with Pentious' eggbois crowded around him. I found that strange, but shrugged it off. There were trust exercises to get to!
Sorry for taking so long. Please excuse my disaster of a writing schedule.
